Mr. Masterson and Madeleine had nearly finished with the van when they came across a rotund brown-and-white English bulldog
on the floor of the driver’s seat. Madeleine gasped, stirring the dog, who then stared at the young girl with saggy eyes and
a pronounced under bite.
“Sheriff, it appears a dog has snuck into the car,” Madeleine announced in her proper British accent.
“That’s Mrs. Wellington’s dog, Macaroni; he’s here to check your bags.”
“The dog’s name is Macaroni?” Lulu scoffed.
“Yeah, Macaroni was part of a pair, but Cheese died last year.”
“She had dogs named Macaroni and Cheese?” Garrison said. “Weird.”
“Line up your bags. Macaroni will be sniffing for electronics,” the sheriff announced.
Theo’s small face twitched with alarm and apprehension as his mother placed his brown leather satchel next to the others.
The bag had been a gift from his father for his tenth birthday, something Theo had wanted for ages. Yet today as Theo stared
at the expensive satchel, he felt nothing but horror.
Then something occurred to Theo. Why had he never heard of an electronics-sniffing dog? Why weren’t airports using them? Maybe
this was all an elaborate ruse to trick the students into dumping their electronic ties to the outside world.
Macaroni waddled over to Madeleine’s gray-and-black plaid bag and began sniffing leisurely, making his way from the top to
the bottom. Macaroni employed an audible sniff, channeling all his energy into each inhalation. He toddled away from Madeleine’s
luggage, paused, and then returned to it. He performed one last long sniff before approaching Garrison’s white nylon backpack
with a Miami Heat logo. Macaroni inspected Garrison’s bag at record speed; apparently, nylon is a much easier material to
scrutinize. However, Macaroni did lick the bag with his wide purple tongue.
Understandably, Garrison frowned before proclaiming, “Gross.”
Macaroni continued his rapid inspection pace with Lulu’s green canvas sack. He managed to sniff his way from left to right
and top to bottom in under a minute flat. And even better, he didn’t feel the need to use his tongue. Now only Theo’s academic
leather satchel remained. Macaroni abandoned his fast pace, instead employing a thorough inhalation of each square inch of
the bag. Five, then ten minutes passed as Macaroni sniffed and licked.
Theo felt his nerves ease, realizing that an electronics-smelling dog was patently absurd. He paused, thinking how awfully
foolish and gullible of him it was to believe such a story. The portly old dog couldn’t smell a bowl of batteries if it was
under his nose. As Theo broke into a smile, Macaroni stopped to stare at the boy ominously. Theo’s nerves cracked like an
old piece of chewing gum as the sheriff unzipped the leather bag and Macaroni plunged headfirst. Seconds later, the dog emerged
with a black sock in his drool-infested mouth.
“This dog
clearly
has no credibility. He’s fishing out socks,” Theo bellowed, walking toward the dog with his hand extended.
Mere inches from the sock, the sheriff’s arm swooped in and grabbed the garment. He quickly reached into the sock and pulled
out a sleek black cell phone. All eyes turned to Theo, who immediately threw his hands up in the air.
“I’ve been set up,” Theo said spectacularly.
“Theo?” Mrs. Bartholomew asked incredulously.
“Mom, I don’t know what kind of a scam these people are trying to pull, but we should leave,” Theo said seriously.
“I am only going to ask you this once. Where did you get that phone?”
“This is a setup. The so-called sheriff and the dog are behind it… .” Theo trailed off before relenting under his mother’s
unsympathetic gaze. “It’s unreasonable to spend an entire summer without a phone. People need phones. It’s as natural as water
or air!”
“I’m truly sorry, Sheriff. I don’t know where he got that cell phone. I already confiscated his personal one,” Mrs. Bartholomew
explained, ignoring Theo entirely.
“The black market! That’s where you forced me to go,” Theo said angrily.
“You bought this on the street?”
“Well, not technically. But in spirit, yes.”
“Theo?” Mrs. Bartholomew pressed on with mounting irritation.
“Fine. I got it off eBay, but it’s still dangerous.”
“For Heaven’s sake, Theo,” Mrs. Bartholomew said with embarrassment.
Without any further ado, Madeleine lifted her veil, kissed her parents on the cheek, and entered the van. She took the left
seat in the back row, pulled down her veil, and sprayed a circle around her feet. Without anyone to say goodbye to, Garrison
quickly followed Madeleine, taking the seat on the right.
Lulu turned to her parents, unsure how to say goodbye. Mr. Punchalower set the tone by releasing his left hand from his BlackBerry
for a cordial handshake. Lulu rolled her eyes, shook his hand, and approached her rigid mother. Lulu believed that her mother
secretly longed to hug her but couldn’t in front of her father. Whether true or not, that’s what Lulu told herself as she
held her mother’s cold and bony hand.
Once Lulu was seated, Theo hugged his mother, gulped down tears, and stepped into the van. His overt lack of drama surprised
everyone, even Theo. Perhaps this journey would offer him a chance to mature. Just as soon as the thought crossed Theo’s mind,
he smashed his face against the window and howled. Clearly, maturity would have to wait.
T
heo banged his fists against the window as the van pulled away. It was reminiscent of many a prison drama he had watched with
his grandmother before her death. Panic seized Theo as he imagined never seeing his mother again. He buried his face in his
hands, much to the annoyance of Lulu and Garrison, who exchanged telling looks. Madeleine didn’t mind at all, although it
was near impossible to read her expression through the veil and cloud of repellent.
“Hey, I totally get that you are afraid of spiders, but I am about to pass out from the fumes,” Garrison said.
Madeleine blushed with mortification and nodded before turning toward the opposite window.
“Do you have a cell phone, Sheriff?” Theo asked with tears running down his cheeks.
“I do, but it’s only for emergencies.”
“This is an emergency. I need to make sure nothing has happened to my mom.”
“Theo, nothing has happened to your mom. It’s been five minutes. She hasn’t even had enough time to pull out of the parking
lot! So STOP crying,” Lulu screamed.
“Yeah,” Garrison added, “you’re acting like such a baby. It’s pathetic.”
Theo concentrated, desperate to stop crying so Lulu and Garrison wouldn’t attack him again, but somehow he couldn’t. The more
he tried, the harder it got. Theo closed his eyes and resolved to cry.
The weeks leading up to School of Fear had been filled with much dread and anticipation for Lulu, Madeleine, Theo, and Garrison.
So it was hardly a surprise that within minutes of leaving the station, the foursome fell sound asleep. Madeleine’s veiled
head bobbed forward, moving to the bumps in the road. A river of drool poured steadily from the left corner of Theo’s mouth,
down his chin, and onto his shirt. Garrison’s face was pressed against the window, distorting the shape of his eyes and ears.
As for Lulu, even in her sleep she managed an annoyed expression.
High-pitched squeals forced the snoozing students awake. One by one, they parted their eyelids, uncertain what to expect.
Three pudgy squirrels decorated the windshield of the stationary van. Thankfully, the furry brown creatures weren’t dead,
merely a little dazed. The sheriff wasn’t concerned; in fact, he turned and winked at the students.
“What the heck are those?” Theo screeched.
“Nothing to worry about, just some flying squirrels.”
“Excuse me sir, with all due respect as I am not a zoologist, I assure you that squirrels cannot fly,” Madeleine interjected.
“Well, that’s true. I should probably call them gliding squirrels. They leap off trees and use a flap of skin between their
feet and hands like a parachute, but as you can see, they don’t have the best aim. At least five squirrels crash into my van
every time I drive up here. Luckily, they’re fat little guys; doesn’t hurt them much.”
“Kind of like Theo,” Garrison mumbled under his breath.
Theo sneered at Garrison before noticing the world outside the car. Garrison, Lulu, and Madeleine followed Theo’s stunned
gaze. It was dark, as one would expect late in the evening, not the morning. Their young eyes searched for sky, even a small
square, but there was none. Lulu felt a twitch behind her left eye as her breaths grew shorter and more labor-intensive.
“Are we underground?” Lulu asked as she grabbed her eye.
“Not at all, it’s just the vines; they block all the light.”
Leafy vines grew from one tree-lined side of the road to the other, creating a tunnel.
“Um, so when are we getting out of here?” Lulu asked tensely.
“Very soon,” the sheriff reassuringly explained as he started the van up again.
Madeleine lifted her veil and squinted to see the cobblestone road on which the van traveled. As if the thick trees, excessive
vines, and lack of light weren’t creepy enough, there were loads of handmade signs warning against entering the forest.
“What kind of vine grows like this?” Garrison asked while pushing blond locks off his tan forehead.
“Sticky vines. They can trap a man with their sap. For a while they were mining it for superglue, but that didn’t work out
very well,” the sheriff said vaguely.
“What happened?” Madeleine asked.
“Cost them too many men.”
“They died?” Theo asked with fright.
“Worse. Their hair got stuck in the vines and the men had to shave their heads. And there were some ugly heads with craters
and lumps and birthmarks. A couple of their wives left them. Word got out and soon no one would come near the place, so the
factory went under.”
“And this is where the School of Fear is located? Doesn’t seem very child-friendly,” Theo tweeted nervously.
“Don’t worry, the school’s not down here,” the sheriff answered calmly.
The road suddenly dead-ended in a small spot of sunlight at the base of a sheer granite cliff. So smooth was the gray-specked
rock that there was a hazy reflection of the car on its surface.
“It’s on top of the mountain. The forest just surrounds it,” the sheriff said calmly.
“What? How do we get up there? I’m not a certified rock climber,” Theo said with a touch of hyperventilation. “I know we all
eventually die, but I don’t want to die climbing a mountain, especially without a cell phone.”
“Theo, chill. I’m sure there’s stairs or something,” Lulu said hopefully. “Maybe an escalator? ’Cause I am not getting in
an elevator, Sheriff. Understand?”
“We’re here,” the sheriff said into a CB radio on the dashboard before turning to Theo and Lulu. “You have my word; there
will be no rock climbing or elevator.”
An unfamiliar noise startled the students, rattling their already raw nerves. The sound of metal grinding above their heads
prompted them to gape dumbfounded at the van’s ceiling. The crunching of metal abruptly stopped, and the van lifted off the
cobblestone road, jiggling the students’ every bone and muscle.
“This can’t be happening,” Theo mumbled to himself before closing his eyes, desperate to block out the situation.
“Almost there, guys,” the sheriff said reassuringly as the van was lowered onto the plateau.
The first thing they saw when they opened their eyes was approximately twenty-five feet high and constructed out of splintering
wood. It was the crane that had pulled them up the mountain, and frankly, it didn’t look strong enough to lift a bouquet of
flowers. At the base of the crane, in a small operating booth, was an old man, a seriously old man. Maybe the oldest man in
the state, or at least he looked that way from twenty feet away.
“There must be a better way to get up here than that,” Lulu said.