Scarred (13 page)

“Then tell me what will,” I begged, trying to mask my quivering voice.

“I don't know. But I know I can't go on like
this
. You have to decide what you can and can't live without,” he said, draping his arm over his eyes. “I'm going to have to do the same.”

“What do you mean,” I whispered, my voice giving way to the sadness that bubbled over. “What does that
mean
, Cooper?”

“I mean that I need to figure out how best to make myself happy, no matter what that takes. You'll have to do the same.”

“Okay,” I managed to choke out before moping my way out of his room to my own. There was a finality to what he'd said that was most unsettling. Any way I read between the lines, I didn't enjoy the subtext.

I looked at the clock to see that I had thirty-seven minutes to get cleaned up, pick up food, and show up on Sean's doorstep with a smile on my face—or at least not crying. I rinsed off quickly in the shower, and tried to reassemble my hair so it was more presentable. It took five minutes to apply makeup, and the rest of the time I'd allotted for getting dressed. I felt like shit after talking to Cooper; it didn't exactly get me jazzed up for my dinner date. Still, I wanted to look like I'd put a little effort into the occasion. Sean was trying to make amends. It wasn't fair to take my night's events out on him.

We were on make or break ground as it was.

Once I was ready, I took a deep breath before exiting my room. I wanted to say goodbye to Cooper, give him something that could leave us on a good note. His door was shut, and he wouldn't answer me when I knocked.

“Cooper,” I called out, leaning my face against the door. “Cooper...no matter what happens, I
love
you. Please don't ever forget that. You're my best friend, and so much more. You're my
family,
Coop.” I heard him turn over on the bed, but he still didn't respond. “I'll see you later.”

I left not knowing if things were going to be okay when I got home, and it did nothing to help the mounting pressure I felt as I walked over to Sean's, Chinese food in hand. The weight on my chest increased with every step I took up to his apartment. I wondered if my ribs would eventually collapse, getting me out of the whole thing. Maybe a trip to the hospital was exactly what I needed―a mini vacation.

He answered shortly after I knocked. When the door swung wide, I tried to put on a happy face, but, like Cooper had pointed out before, I was a terrible liar, and Sean had been able to read me from day one. It took only seconds for him to see that I wasn't excited to be there.

“What's wrong?” he asked, stepping aside to let me in.

“It's not great date-night conversation material,” I said, hoping that would make him drop it.

“I like inappropriate conversation,” he said, with a tight smile. “Why don't you tell me anyway. I'm a big boy, Ruby. I'm sure I can take it.”

I dropped the bags onto the counter and scooted myself into a barstool by the island.

“Why is everything always a mess, Sean?”

“Because anything else is a fairytale,” he said softly, coming to stand behind me.

“So my options are either the unattainable or the unbearable?” I asked, dropping my head to my crossed arms. “Isn't there a door number three?”

“Not that I've ever known,” he said gently. He laid his broad hand on my back, rubbing tiny circles up and down my spine in an attempt to soothe me.

“So in how ever many hundreds of years that you've lived, that's all you've ever known?” I said disbelievingly.

“Unbearable has been the gold standard,” he said, sitting down beside me. “Unattainable is new.”I went to ask him to clarify what he'd meant, but the look in his eyes said it all. “I've never wanted something I couldn't have before, Ruby. It's worse than any torture I've ever endured,” he said, moving closer. “I'm hoping to know what door number three looks like soon.”

“
Oh
,” I said, my face flushing.

“So what is this all about?” he asked, pretending not to notice my obvious embarrassment.

“I really don't think you want—”

“I'd rather know than not,” he sighed. “Besides, if you're just going to mope around all night anyway, it won't exactly ruin anything for me.”

“True,” I said with a laugh. “Just remember you asked for this.” I took a deep breath to gather myself before starting to explain. “It's Cooper,” I said, looking away from him. “Our relationship has gotten...
complicated
.”

“
Complicated
?” he asked. I could practically hear his eyebrow raising, and I didn't bother looking for confirmation.

“He
loves
me.”

“Of course he does,” he said, acting like that was obvious.

“No, not like that, Sean. He
loves
me, loves me,” I said, over-emphasizing the words.

“And that's surprising to you?”

“Yes,” I said, turning to face him. “It shocked the shit out of me the first time he told me. I'd hoped it was a phase or something, but it doesn't seem to be. We dance around it, having moments of things being like they used to be, but then something will happen and it gets all weird again.”

“That sounds oddly familiar,” he said, the corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly.

“I'm being serious!” I yelled. “I don't know what to do...I can't lose him.”

Sean looked unfazed by what I'd said, but I could feel the faintest level of dissonance coming from him.

“Cooper will never abandon you, Ruby. He
can't.
”

“Really? Because the last thing he said to me was something about finding out what we both can and can't live without,” I said, starting to sound mildly hysterical. “I can't live without him, Sean. It's not an option.”

“Living without you won't be an option for him either, Ruby. I think, perhaps, he's a bit confused.”

“He didn't sound very confused. I'd say he sounded pretty clear and concise. He was more serious than I'd ever heard him.”

“Tell me
exactly
what he said he felt for you,” Sean demanded, locking his gaze on mine.

“He said he worried about me all the time when I wasn't around...that he felt protective of me, even more so than Peyta, which makes no sense at all,” I explained, “and then something about being connected to him in a way that was beyond his comprehension...it made him
crazy
.”

“I can relate to that,” he muttered under his breath. I shot him my death glare and he moved quickly to change the subject. “Ruby, Cooper
is
confused. Didn't you say that he had a pretty sketchy past? Family life?”

“Yes, but I don't see what that has to do with it.”

“Cooper has probably never known much love in his life, so it would make sense that while he grows into his power he'd feel this way. He
has
to love you like that, you're—”

I never heard Sean’s explanation. His words were abruptly cut off while I crashed to the floor gripping my head. The Rev was back in action.

10

She stood in the second story window, smiling down to something at her feet. The light from inside framed her in a golden glow, accentuating her curves. He growled low, his pulse quickening, pounding visibly in his throat. He watched from across the street, parked in the darkness for cover. She would be his favorite kill to date—they
both
would; he mumbled it over and over again.

She disappeared from sight for a moment, bending forward to the floor, quickly returning with a child in her arms. The toddler laughed and played with her hair, while she tickled his neck, burying her face into it repeatedly. The rest of the house was shrouded in darkness. They were alone.

He approached slowly; he wasn't in the city and he swept his eyes carefully through the neighborhood, over and over again. As he crept up the walkway, his hands flexed furiously. I watched helplessly as he reached for the brass doorknocker, tapping it firmly three times.

“Coming,” she called. He heard her quickened steps down the stairs, across the hardwood, to the entrance. Before she reached the door, he looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“You will come to me,” he said menacingly. “I will make you love me.”

“
Kristy!” I screamed, latching onto Sean's arms. Without another word, he scooped me up. He had us out of the apartment and into the car before I'd gotten my bearings, driving furiously out of town. “We won't make it,” I said, tears streaming down my face. “The baby...,” I whispered, staring blankly out of the car. “She was holding the
baby
.”

“
Fuck
!” he rumbled, as he wove through traffic at a speed that would have frightened me had I been present enough for it to register. “We'll get there. It's what he's planning on. Sick bastard.”

“It's too late...I know it is.”

The knot is my stomach twisted at the knowledge that I was right. I'd felt what he'd planned. I didn't need to imagine what he was doing to them―I'd seen it countless times before.

Sean was talking to me in the background, but it was white noise, like the purring of the BMW's engine. Thoughts of baby Louie being torn to shreds played over and over in my mind. I couldn't stop it.

I hadn't realized that I'd broken into full-on hysterics until Sean snatched my jaw in his hand and wrenched my face around to look at him. His fingers dug in sharply and it hurt like a mother, but the pain snapped me back to the present, so I guess it did the trick.

“Pull it together,” he growled, black eyes glaring at me across the car. “You're not going to help anyone like that. You can freak the fuck out later, but for now you
will
get your shit together. Do you hear me?”

I nodded precariously while he still held my face.

“Good,” he replied, releasing me as gently as his state would allow.

We pulled up seconds later, and I bailed out of the car before it even stopped, stumbling to the ground in a half roll before getting to my feet in a dead sprint. Scarlet stalked just below the surface, ready to pounce on the man who was once Keith James, Ronnie's husband, now the Rev. She wanted to add rotting corpse to the list of things he was referred to as.

“Alan! Kristy!” I screamed, before I barged in the front door, searching the first floor for bodies. “Louie. Oh, God...please.
Louie
!” I raged through the house, crashing through doors and screaming. When I started up the stairs, I saw them, freezing my progress immediately. Sean stopped just behind me.

“Kristy!” I shouted as I darted up the stairs towards her. “You're alright! Thank God.” I nearly tackled her and Louie when I crested the stairs.

“What is going on?” she said, sounding frightened and confused. “What are you doing?”

“That's what I want to know,” said a very groggy, but startled Alan as he emerged from the master bedroom. He'd been working crazy hours and must have crashed early. “Ruby? Care to explain why you've broken into my house, screaming like a banshee? The whole neighborhood has probably called the police by now. In fact, I'm going to go check. I'll call off the boys before they show up here and drag you away.”

He disappeared back into his room. I heard him telling the dispatcher to disregard the calls, that the crazy woman who stormed the door was a friend who hadn't taken her meds today. I had to laugh, though there was an edge to it that accurately illustrated how I felt and how Alan portrayed me. Looking to the floor, I saw where Louie sat, playing with his blocks.

“Booby,” he shouted, “Booby...you 'elp.”

Sean, who had been utterly silent until that moment, snickered behind me. “Booby?” he asked, trying to play his amusement off as coughing.

“He's trying to say Ruby, okay? He's little.”

“Now that I’ve called off the hounds,” Alan said as he rejoined us in the hall, “start explaining.”

I panicked for a moment, not knowing how best to play this off. I looked to Sean for aid, but all he did was flash me a look that read
I don't think you really want me to help you with this one...better think of something fast
. Then I remembered what my Dad had often said, that lies were easiest to believe when smattered with truth. I hoped that Dad knew best.

“Someone came to your door tonight,” I started, trying to keep my rapidly beating heart out of my throat with one, dry swallow. “A man...”

I watched their faces carefully. Kristy's eyes widened, while Alan's narrowed.

“How did you—”

“What did he say to you?” I asked, cutting her off.

“He said he was a friend of yours,” she said, face paling. “He asked if I could give something to you.” She took an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to me, shakily. I nearly vomited when I took it. His residual energy coursed through me and it was all I could do not to fling it out of my hand.

“Kris,” Alan said, his voice dropping low. “Didn't you find it odd that he'd drop something off for Ruby here? Why didn't you call for me?”