Safety Net (50 page)

“I know you’ll take care of him, so
I won’t even ask you to. But...”

“I will,” he promised. He
hesitated. “I hate to ask this, it’s going to sound so awful, but... Are you
going to talk to him soon? Because exhibition season will be starting up in
August and, um. Well, he’s going to need time. I know he’s going to need time.”

“Oh,” Candace said, frowning. “Yes,
of course. I understand what you mean.” She sighed and hugged him again.

“Lowell. Honey. Take care of
yourself, too, all right?”

“I will,” he said and she kissed
his cheek. Waving, she went into the lobby, disappearing behind revolving
doors.

Dale felt as buzzed and hyper as if
he’d downed three triple-shot espressos. He stood anxiously in the arrivals
hall, scanning the crowd, checking his phone, and tapping his car keys against
his thigh. He was thumbing his phone screen to look up Andy’s flight arrival
information yet again when he heard, “Dale.”

He looked up and Andy stood before
him with a big soft-sided carry-on slung over one shoulder. He was tall,
thinner, tired, smiling, gorgeous. Dale wrapped his arms around him in a tight
hug without even thinking about it, and Andy laughed, hugging him back. They
held onto each other for a long time, in the middle of the endless stream of
passengers herding through Dulles.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” said
Andy, stepping back and looking him over. “And you look amazing. So you didn’t
go to seed after all.” Before Andy left he and Dale had had a running joke
about Dale’s imminent physical decline as an ex-football player.

Dale clasped Andy’s upper arm and
was relieved to feel firm, wiry muscle beneath the leanness. “You look great,
even if you’ve lost some weight. C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” He hoisted Andy’s
carry-on onto his shoulder and led the way to baggage claim.

While they were waiting for Andy’s
bags, Dale took a deep breath and said, “So, listen. Here’s the scoop, and the
rotten timing will make your head spin. Candace just broke up with Erick, and
Lowell’s been texting me and leaving messages constantly, wanting me to go up
there and check on him. And I’d tell him to fuck off and stop being such an
overprotective nanny except Erick’s not answering anything.”

He had probably already lost Andy,
Dale thought. There was no point in trying to pretend the Erick and Lowell
situation was anything other than what it was. No point in trying to pretend
that when they needed him he wouldn’t drop everything to help.

“You can stay at my place. I’ll
give you the spare keys. And then I hate to do this to you, but I’m driving up
to New Haven to figure out what the fuck is going on. Unless you feel like
going on a seven-hour car trip with me,” Dale added jokingly.

“Lowell’s not going to New Haven?” Andy
asked, eyes on the baggage carousel.

“He’s talking about driving out or
dropping a thousand dollars on last minute airfares, but he didn’t want to go
in blind, not knowing precisely what’s going on with Erick. Because it’s
Candace.” Dale shook his head. “But the other wrinkle is that he has training
camp next week so he’d have to be back by Monday.”

“Oh, crap,” Andy said softly, and
ran a hand over his face. “Okay, road trip to New Haven it is.”

Dale stared at him. “You’re
serious? You want to come along?”

Andy shrugged. “I’ve been traveling
for, like, four days already, what’s another seven hours? Besides, I’d like to
see Erick.” He looked at Dale. “And I’d like to see you. After two years.”

Dale searched his face, wondering
if he dared to hope, but Andy simply looked tired. Then Andy said, “Huh,
though. Before I commit to this maybe I better ask what you’re driving. Is it a
rental?”

Dale smiled and proudly dangled the
keys. “I finally bought a car. A used Cherokee. Only twenty-thousand miles on
it. It’s comfortable. Lots of room to stretch out.”

Andy smiled wearily. “Road trip,
then.”

Dale sent off a text to Lowell he
hoped would keep him off his back, one to Erick to warn him of houseguests, and
one to Randall to say Andy was going to New Haven with him and he wasn’t sure
what this meant. Randall knew the whole Andy story, knew how Dale felt, and was
being okay about it. Actually, in the past couple of weeks Dale strongly
suspected Randall had started seeing someone else but he hadn’t found the right
moment to ask.

When they got away from the
airport, Dale stocked up on water and snacks for the road and, armed with maps
printed off the Internet and toll money, he headed north. Andy got a second wind
and they talked through Maryland, Delaware, and part of New Jersey. Outside of
Trenton Andy started to fade, and when Dale stopped for gas Andy got into the
back seat to lie down and take a nap.

It was after midnight when they
reached the outskirts of New Haven, and Dale had misgivings. Andy was crashed
out in the back seat -- and who could blame him, after traveling halfway around
the world? -- and Dale was trying to navigate dark, unfamiliar streets to find
Erick’s house. He had to stop and look at his crappy Internet maps and cursed
not buying a GPS.

He had resolved to pull into the
next hotel he passed and see if they had any rooms -- he could find Erick’s
house in the morning -- but he was now deep in the dark suburbs and there were
no hotels or businesses. He was getting slightly panicky from the anxiety, lack
of sleep, and emotional turmoil, and wondered if he should turn around and
retrace the route back to civilization (interstates, gas stations, and chain
motels). Looking for a good place to turn, he spotted the discreet sign for
Erick’s street. Well, screw it, they were just going to have to wake Erick up.

Or not.

When Dale pulled up in front of
Erick’s house, lights were on in practically every window. In the back seat
Andy sat up, blinking. “Are we here already? What time is it?”

Dale got Andy’s bags out of the
back. “Yeah, this is it. It’s about one-thirty in the morning.”

“Oh,” Andy said worriedly, looking
at the lit-up house.

As they walked up the drive to the
front door they could hear sounds from inside. A video game? Movie?

The doorbell’s ring was exactly the
kind of pretentious ring Dale expected from a house like this -- “Erick’s
palace” wasn’t entirely a Menacker exaggeration. Despite the lights and noise,
Dale wasn’t expecting an immediate response, but the door swung open and Erick
greeted them with, “Dale! And Andy! It’s about time!”

“Why’re you still up?” Dale asked
suspiciously, inspecting the place as Erick led them to the back where the
kitchen and TV room were. He didn’t know what he expected to find. Hookers?
Dead bodies? Tear-stained photographs of Candace?

“You told me to expect you,” Erick
replied as if the answer was obvious, and Dale looked him over. Yeah, something
not quite right. It all made sense when they reached the kitchen and the island
was covered with beer bottles. All different types and labels, lined up in a
haphazard array, and many of them empty.

Erick dropped down onto the sofa,
picked up a half-f bottle of beer and took a big swallow. An action movie
was blaring on the TV.

“Right,” said Dale briskly. He
found the remote and muted the volume. “Andy’s been traveling for four days and
by the looks of it, you’re trying to drink yourself into a coma. You both need
to sleep and I’ll clean up the mess. For fuck’s sake, Erick, what did you do?
Buy every brand of beer you could find?”

“Yeah,” Erick said with a shaky
smile. “I liked that oat beer so much, was trying to find it. But none of these
taste the same. Some’re good.”

Dale reached for Erick’s hand to
haul him from the sofa but Erick was big and heavy and noncooperative. Dale
looked to Andy, who was falling asleep standing up, for help. Andy clapped
Erick on the shoulder and said, “Hey, can you show us to our room? Where are
Dale and I staying?”

Erick jumped to his feet, a bit
unsteady, and said, “There’s a room down here, that’s where my folks stay ’cept
they’re not here right now.” He gestured in the general direction of the sunroom
off the kitchen. “Over there.” Stepping deliberately around the sofa, he led
them to the foyer and upstairs. “’Nother guest room up here. That’s where
Lowell and Marie stayed.” He stopped just shy of the top stair, almost
tripping, and looked at Andy uncertainly. “Did you meet Marie?”

“No,” Andy said, carefully guiding
Erick forward and up the last step.

“Didn’t like her much,” Erick
mumbled.

He took them down a hallway to an
enormous guest room overlooking the front lawn. The king bed was covered with
tasteful, expensive linens, and there was full bath next to the giant wardrobe.
Dale was certain Erick must’ve hired someone to do the decor; it was far too
stylish.

Dale left Andy to settle in and
took Erick by the arm. Erick shuffled down the hallway to the master bedroom,
which was even more enormous than the guest room. Dale waited until Erick sat
on the bed.

“You need to sleep, homie, okay?”

Erick nodded but didn’t move. Dale
waited, contemplating giving him a push to lie down.

“C’mon. Sleep. Bed. This is easy,” Dale
urged impatiently. Exhaustion was catching up with him.

Erick pulled his clothes off,
giving Dale an eye-f he was too tired to wisecrack about, and got into bed.
He looked up at Dale and said, “Lowell’s not coming, is he?” He sounded both
disappointed and relieved.

Dale scrubbed his fingers through
his hair. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“Okay.” Erick relaxed and closed
his eyes. “Tell Andy I’m sorry.”

Dale left the door open slightly;
if Erick got up, Dale wanted to know about it. He went downstairs to turn off
the lights and TV and sorted the unopened beer bottles from the empties. He
locked all the doors, stared at the alarm system for a few minutes of incomprehension
before giving up, and trudged upstairs. He peeked in on Erick, who was sleeping
on his back, snoring aggressively.

Andy was sitting up in the guest
bed. Dale left the door open and said, “Erick said to tell you he’s sorry.”

“Oh,” said Andy, knitting his brow.

“This is not the homecoming I had
planned,” Dale said with a heavy sigh.

Andy shrugged. “What can you do?”

Dale pulled his phone out. “Let me
just text Menacker, tell him Erick’s alive and more or less functional.”

He popped off a message to Lowell,
feeling more and more ridiculous. Everything had seemed so urgent and crazy
before but now that they were here, Dale thought it was pretty stupid. Erick
wasn’t a little kid. He’d gotten drunk and was watching loud movies. Big deal.
And Dale had dragged Andy here with him.

“Damn. I am really sorry about
this,” Dale said, putting his phone away.

Andy shook his head, sliding down
in the bed. “It’s okay.”

It’s not okay
. Dale stood
and looked at him and wished he didn’t feel, on top of everything else, a rush
of desire for him. Just to hold him...

“There’s another bedroom or two up
here by the looks of it,” said Dale. “Or I can crash with Erick and keep an eye
on him. That’s probably what Lowell wants me to do.”

Andy frowned a little and said
tiredly, “What do you want to do?”

Dale rubbed the back of his neck. “Stay
here with you.”

Andy patted the bed. “Okay, then.”

Dale hesitantly stripped to his
underwear and got into bed, keeping a respectable distance between them. “Good
night,” he said and switched off the light. Andy reached across and ran his
hand down Dale’s arm.

“Good night. I’m glad I came here,”
Andy said, his voice soft with sleepiness.

Dale wanted to roll over and curl
around him and hold him. Kiss him. Tell him he loved him. He patted Andy’s
hand, aching inside, and closed his eyes. He expected his overactive mind to
keep him awake until dawn, but everything had caught up with him and he was
asleep almost immediately.

It was late morning when he woke up
to the sound of the shower. He sat up and got his bearings. While Andy was
showering, Dale checked on Erick, still dead to the world and snoring, and
found another bathroom in the hallway to wash up. He went back to the guest
room to get his overnight bag. Andy wandered out in his undershorts, rubbing a
towel over his hair.

Dale stood, holding his overnight
bag, and watched him for a moment. Andy combed his hair back from his face with
his fingers and set the towel aside and looked at him.

Dale said, “You said we’d talk when
you got back. Maybe now’s not the time. I know last night was crazy, coming up
here and all, and you’re still jet-lagged, but I can’t take this anymore. If
you’re going to tell me we’re through, get it over with.”

Andy sat down on the bed. After a
hesitation, Dale dropped his overnight bag and sat down next to him. Andy didn’t
say anything and Dale prompted, “Well?”

“Dale,” Andy said finally, not
looking at him.

That was his answer, then. Dale
felt so sick he leaned forward and held his head in his hands until the
dizziness passed. “Oh,” he said into his palms. “Why?”

Andy rested a hand on Dale’s back
and stroked soothingly. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not.” He sat up. “You’re
leaving me. How can I be okay? I love you.”

Andy touched Dale’s neck very
gently. “Dale. Okay, yeah. I’d planned to. We were moving apart when I was in
Africa. Everything was so different there. It’s hard to explain. But now...”

Dale closed his eyes, taking a deep
breath. “What are you saying?”

When he opened his eyes, Andy said,
“We were so far apart, doing different things, meeting different people.
Growing up. I had this idea...” He hesitated and smiled ruefully. “I thought,
how can my feelings be the same as they were two years ago? How can yours? But
as soon as I saw you yesterday... Dale.”

Andy touched Dale’s cheek and
kissed his forehead. Dale blew out a breath and pulled him into his arms.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Andy
said. “I want to give us another chance.”

“I want this so much. You don’t
even know how much.” Dale drew back. “If my being friends with Lowell and Erick
is a problem, let me work on it. Maybe it doesn’t have to be so crazy all the
time.”

“I admit, I used to think it was a
problem. Then when I was over there, I missed them, too, and wondered why I
ever resented them.” Andy smiled. “But maybe it doesn’t have to be crazy. That
would be nice.”