Safe Harbor (The Lake Trilogy, Book 3) (21 page)

“
I thought about telling you but…the more time went by, and the more you helped me heal from all that pain, the less I thought about it. The less I thought about a lot of the painful memories from that night. I stopped seeing red and blue flashing lights every night when I closed my eyes. I stopped hearing sirens in my dreams. I stopped hearing my mother’s scream.

“
I’m just as surprised at my response tonight as you are. It wasn’t like he was their favorite singer, or that it was even their favorite song. It just happened to be playing when my mom turned the radio on to this old station they liked to listen to sometimes. It could have been Buddy Holly or Etta James playing…it wouldn’t have mattered. It just feels like, well, kind of like what you said. As much as I’ve healed, that night can still play through my head like a movie. I haven’t heard that song since that night.”

Will takes my face in his hands, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Then let’s make a new movie. A new
epic
movie about
us
. We’ll take all the music we love and give it new meaning in our movie. This is
our
life, Layla, and we can’t let the tragedy of our past determine a miserable future for us. We’re on the brink of filling in the pieces of the legacy my father left me so I can be certain I never become him. Dealing with your past and uncovering the deepest truths about my father are the catalyst to start re-writing our future.” Will’s eyes are glowing with hope. I see everything that I’ve ever wanted in them and know that he’s right. I know that even though it seems like we’ve conquered our past it’s always going to be there. The only thing we can do is try to understand it…try to understand the purpose for it right now.

“
I’ve been figuring something out lately,” Will says. “You know, as we’ve been sorting through our past. I figured out that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring us to this very moment, and that this is the moment we can choose to make everything new. I’m ready to make everything new,” Will says. He smiles so sweetly that I have to refrain from kissing him. I’m afraid if I start I won’t be able to stop, and now is not the time. “Are you ready to make things new, Layla?”

“
I am,” I tell him. “Thank you. So…starting new…let’s start with this whole
how many kids we’re going to have and what we’re going to name them
thing. Don’t you think I should be consulted on this?” I smirk.

“Yeah, I suppose I should chat with you about that, huh?” he chuckles. “But, I figured once we’re married you’ll be
even more enamored with me that you’ll find it impossible to say no to anything that I suggest.” Now Will is smirking and I can’t help but kiss him. It’s a great kiss, too. “And if you kiss me like that after we’re married, there’s no doubt we’re going to have at least three kids.”

“Three? You want three kids?
” I ask, pretending to be shocked.

“I said
at least
three,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him.
At least three
? Ok…I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about this after all.

“Um…” I say, feeling a little nervous. “Can we jump back for a minute…maybe talk about the honeymoon first?”

“Talk about the two weeks I’m going to have you all to myself? I can do that!” Will smiles and then kisses me hard. “I know where I want to take you, but if you want to go somewhere else, please tell me. I want it to be a dream honeymoon for you.”

“Well I want it to be the same for you,” I say.

“Babe, the fact that I’m marrying you makes anywhere we go a dream honeymoon.”

“Stop saying things that make me want to kiss you. We’ll never get through this conversation and I’m sure Caroline is about to send out a search party.” I kiss him anyway because there’s no way I couldn’t after what he just said. “You may speak now.”

“Well…I thought we’d do two different things. One week in Bali and another week in Ireland. What do you think? You can decide where we are which week. It doesn’t matter to me.” Tears begin to fill my eyes. I try to hold them back, try not to let any escape, but the emotions are too strong and overwhelming that they begin to cascade down my face like a waterfall. “What’s the matter?” Will asks as he wipes every tear that falls.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d get to go to places like that. Once, I did a paper on Ireland for school. I looked up all the exotic details and wrote about how wonderful it would be to visit there some day. Gram found me working on it at the kitchen table. She read it and told me I’d never deserve such an incredible trip. That people like me didn’t go to wonderful places like that. Sometimes I can’t believe this is my life.” I don’t even try to hold back the tears with Will any more. He’s my safety zone. The one solid place I know I am free and not judged for anything. Will told me on our very first date that I could laugh, cry, scream at the top of my lungs, or sit silently with him any time. It’s comforting to see him stay true to his word over and over again.

“Then it’s settled. I’m going to take my
wife
to the island of Bali and the green pastures of Ireland, because she is the
most
deserving person I have ever known. I love you, Layla, and you need to be prepared for some big changes in your life. I don’t ever want to hear you say anything about how I spend our money on you. You’ve done your tour of duty living with the lie that you’re not worth anything special.
I’m
taking care of you now and
I
say you’re more special and worth more than you’ll ever know, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life driving that through that thick skull of yours!” Will doesn’t kiss me, but holds me tight to him. It’s not a moment for the passionate love he has for me, but the protective love. The kind of love that makes me feel cared for and safe. The kind of love that tells me that these are the arms that will hold me forever.

“Are you ready to go in there and face this?” Will asks, releasing me from his arms. I’m sad for a moment
, as I am the first moments I’m ever out of Will’s arms.

“I hope so. No matter what happens, I know I can get through it because you’re with me,” I tell him.

I take Will’s hand in mine and we walk purposefully back into the hotel. When we approach the restaurant I can hear a couple singing
Unforgettable
. It’s a beautiful song that makes me think of Will. So, I focus on that. I focus on this moment, right now. I close my eyes and think about Will and me, here together…creating a new life, new memories. I think about Bali and Ireland. I even think about three kids…and smile.

“You ok?” Will asks. He rubs his thumb over mine in a small, comforting motion.

I take a deep breath and surprise myself when I can answer him honestly. “Yeah. I’m good,” I tell him. “Let’s go in. I’m starved.”

Will chuckles and kisses the top of my head just as we begin to move into the restaurant. Caroline and Ryan are seated in a circular booth facing the small stage and dance floor. They’re cozied up together enjoying the music. I hope once things settle down that we’ll be able to get to know Ryan better. Caroline seems really happy with him, and I can see that he’s over the moon for her.

“There you are! Are you ok?” Caroline asks, scooting Ryan over so I can move into the booth next to her.

“Yeah, I’m ok. The past likes to creep up at the most interesting times,” I tell her. There’s no need to go into all of it again, not now at least. Maybe we’ll chat about it later tonight when we’re in our room. “Have you two ordered yet?” I pick up a menu and immediately get sticker shock.

“Order whatever you want, Layla. Pretend the prices aren’t there,” Will says noticing my wide eyes.

“What’s going on with you,” I whisper to him. “You’ve got this ridiculous honeymoon planned…you told me to get ready for change and not to argue about how much money you spend on me…and now you’re telling me to order whatever I want when half of the
things on here say Market Price. I don’t even know what Market Price means!”

“I took the money,” he says.

“I know, but I thought you were going to disperse it to the exes and to some charities.”

“Well, I thought about what you said, and I talked with Luke and my mom, and I decided that you were right. It doesn’t matter so much how he earned it. It matters what
I
do with it. Yes, I’m going to give a lot of it away, and Luke is helping me invest quite a bit of it, too. But, what good is having an insane amount of money if I can’t splurge once in a while, especially when it comes to you.” Will smiles at me and I can see how at peace he is with his decision.

“I won’t argue with you because I know it will be futile.” I kiss Will softly and the
n hold his gaze so he really hears me. “I won’t ever take advantage of you. I don’t care about the money.  I think you know that. I’ll even sign a pre-nup if you want me to.”

“We’re not having a pre-nup, Layla.
Pre-nups are for people who go into a marriage thinking there’s a chance it could end. We’re forever. What’s mine is yours. I don’t care about any of it. I only care that you’re going to be my wife. Any thoughts on when that’s going to happen? I mean you
are
the one who suggested we move the wedding date up.” Will tucks my hair behind my ear and sends a shiver across my body as his hand grazes my skin and I recall the day on the dock when I told Will about wanting a church wedding in Davidson.

“It just so happens that I have. How does October 25
th
sound? I was thinking that the weather could be really nice, and the leaves would be changing,” I tell him.

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect, and I love you.” Will leans in for another kiss but Caroline stops him.

“Alright you two! Calm down! I would tell you to get a room, but you know…” Caroline winks at me and I feel the heat of my embarrassment from our earlier conversation rush to my cheeks.

“Ok, ok…” Will says.
“Let’s just spend the evening enjoying some great food and great music. Tonight, we’re not on a mission. Tonight, Ryan and I are two incredibly lucky guys out with our gorgeous women.”

We all smile and settle in for a night of normalcy. I’m glad to see Will so relaxed right now. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. We could walk away with every question answered, or we could discover that we drove six and
a half hours only to come up empty. Whatever happens tomorrow, Will and I are in this together.

Will picks
at his breakfast, barely consuming anything but a cup of coffee. He’s been staring at this file with Cheryl’s name and address on it for the last 15 minutes. I know he’s nervous so I leave him to his quiet contemplation. He may be considering backing out, but I won’t let him. Just like he told me last night, I’m not going to let him run away from this. He felt strongly about coming to Virginia to talk with Cheryl and I can’t let him forget that.

“I’m going to check on Caroline. She said they were going to have a rental car delivered so we didn’t have to take them anywhere,” I say. I begin to stand but Will grabs my arm.

“Please don’t leave,” he says softly. His eyes are dark and I can read the stress on his face.

“I know you’re nervous Will, and that’s ok.
” I sit down, scooting my chair closer to Will in the process. “The worst thing she’s going to do is tell you she doesn’t want to talk to you, and then we’ll be no worse off than we are right now. Have you thought about what you’re going to ask her? How you’re going to find out why there was such a discrepancy between her settlement and the others?”

“The best I can think to do is to tell her the truth. I’m going to compensate the ex-wives and I want to be fair. Based on her payout she should get more than the others, but I just want to know if there’s an error or what the reason behind the difference is.” Will puts his face in his hands and slumps over. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this before. It’s disconcerting.

“That sounds reasonable,” I say. “There’s something else, though. You’re more nervous than I think you were expecting to be. What it is?”

“I’m afraid
she’s going to describe the man I could become. A man just like my father.”

“
That could never happen, Will,” I say reassuringly.

“You don’t know that, Layla. Look at
how Marcus turned out…and he wasn’t even raised by our father! What if learning more about my father from Cheryl and the others just makes me see how much I’m like him…what I’ve really been fighting? What if I can’t fight it forever? What if…”

“Will, stop it. You are
nothing
like your father. You have a heart beating inside your chest, and blood running through your veins. Look at everything you did for me, for us! Your father never loved anyone the way you love me. You are
not
him, and you never will be. You said it yourself last night: filling in the pieces of this puzzle only ensures you don’t become him.”

“I hope you’re right.” Will twists his body and we embrace each other. I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it was going to take this kind of toll on Will.