Rand stood next to me and said, “So which belly ring is it going to be?” Somehow, I had agreed to get a navel piercing. Did I really agree to this, was I crazy?
“Rand, why don’t you pick it out for me,” I answered. “I like how you taste, I mean I like your taste, I mean you taste good.” I wasn’t speaking too clearly, still feeling my head swaying with all the alcohol we consumed. Rand laughed and walked over to the counter that had hundreds of choices and I heard him select one and he handed it to the tattoo artist. As I felt the artist, Russ, coming toward me I panicked. I was so nervous and getting scared.
Rand came and took my hand and calmed me. He looked at me with those deep blue, sea calming, sexy eyes and said, “Madison trust me, it won’t hurt, I think you’ll really like it.”
“I really don’t take pain well, I like pleasure not pain, I’m sure I’ll scream.”
“Oh I’ll take you screaming with pleasure but not here. It’s going to look great. Russ here’s a pro he’s done all my tattoos.”
Russ then asked me to undo my jeans and pull them low, and he went to move my halter top up off my stomach. Rand took over and did that, just resting my beaded top under my chest. Russ moved in and marked my belly button. Then I saw him thread something onto what looked like a fish hook.
I yelled and squeezed Rand’s hand, “Oh, God, there is no way, I can’t do…” Rand plunged into my mouth so deeply he swirled his tongue and traced my teeth, he remained deep in my mouth, tasting me, kissing me and not at all releasing me.
“All done, you did great!” Russ spoke and our lips parted, Russ gave a firm pat to Rand on the shoulder and exited the room. I was certain I had just stepped onto the fifth rung of my confidence ladder.
I suddenly felt a current go through my body. No pain just a rush, can’t explain it. The kiss was a rush but different from this other feeling. Proud of myself for doing this, I looked down at my belly to see a tiny music note dangling. Rand bent down and kissed the area around it, saying aloud, “Madison you’re now my secret musical note.”
It looked great; I was staring back and forth between the piercing and Rand. He kept me lying there and continued to kiss around my navel and then brought his hand to where my beaded halter was piled and he started to push his hand so lightly underneath. Feeling my nipples, swirling each one, giving equal attention to them as he let out a deep sigh. Rand traced the outer sides of my waist with his finger tips, stopping for a moment to reach back to my face and take my mouth with his once more.
I murmured, “Oh Rand…” then he kissed my nose and I was actually trying to slow my breathing.
I pulled his tee up over his head as he was now half naked above me. It felt so amazing to look up at him and get lost in his eyes. I lowered my glance and stared at his chest, his incredible chest, and his remarkable ink that was there in front of my eyes. It was a large, very detailed cross with a lot of scrolled designs swirling and surrounding it. Entwined in the cross was an open heart outline. The ink artwork traveled down along the right side of his rib cage and waist. On his right arm from his bicep to just below his forearm is the tattoo I only got a glimpse of when I first met him. It was written
dream of music, my beloved
. This was surrounded by detailed design work that made each of the words beautiful and endearing.
I rose upward from the table and traced the heart on his chest with the tip of my tongue and placing sweet, light kisses as I moved along the cross above me. I licked the edges of my tongue over his artwork and tasted the flavor of the skin on his chest. Oh, God, help me, I thought as this felt so good. Rand, then went back down to my belly and lightly hit the jeweled music note to make some movement, it did not hurt. I hoped my hands didn’t hurt him as I began to rake at his back and his bare skin moved beneath my finger tips, and continued down and traced the tops of my fingers down his back to his hips. His hands went lower to the opening of my jeans that had been pushed out of the way and were resting just below my hip bones. He slowly and ever so lightly took his fingers to the top of my panty lace and lifted just under the seam and traced along my naked folds with his fingers inching lower.
My belly and my hips tingled with sensations and started to rise up, I felt shivers in me, and I was unaware that I could feel like this again. It was amazing. It occurred to me that if he kept this up I would shatter into a million pieces.
Lying there, I was moving my lower body to his tender tracing movements. I could feel my nipples peaking and my pulse quickening and God, I wanted him to go further. I did not want him to stop. Rand spoke in a light, sexy voice, “I can’t do this, I mean I want to, I really want to, but I can’t give you what you need…” But he kept kissing my stomach in between his every whispered word. I lifted my hips up off the table to meet his kisses and they became more firm. He lowered his head to my thighs and dropped it slowly into the deep fold of my jeans. He slid one arm under my rear and lifted me, pressing me more fully into his face. I fisted his hair and tightly pulled some dark strands through my fingers. The only sound I could make was, “Please, just please don’t stop…”
Isaac pulled back the makeshift curtain and looked at us in our intimate position. In a low growl he said, “Now that’s the kinda piercing I want.” The intimacy of the moment was abruptly lost. The band guys were through having their piercings done and were ready to leave.
Rand told them to go ahead; he knew they wanted to go to the clubs until later in the morning. He wanted to hang back and return to the hotel and snuggle in the fabric covered cabana and watch the evening stars and dream – with me.
“Jillian, Jillian, pick up your phone, do not text me, I need to talk to you…” I nervously left her this same message already six times this morning. I had to talk to her, I could not sleep. It was very early in the morning, and I couldn’t breathe in and out like I used to. What was happening to me? Was this an illusion or was all this really happening? I could feel something again and I didn’t want to have it begin just to lose it, I was so torn. Oh, Jillian please call me, I need you sis…
Mid morning I got her call back. “Maddy what’s up? You okay, your messages sounded urgent?”
“Oh Jillian, you will not believe what’s happening.” I rattled on and on. “I so think I could fall for him, I hope it’s not a game. I feel for him, and I wish I knew he felt the same.” We talked for at least two hours and she had calmed me and told me to go for it and see where it leads. She said she hoped that he would develop real feelings for me. She was glad I was out having fun and doing what I wanted with writing, but we both knew and did not say it, we knew Rand had a history with the ladies.
We talked about the calendar of concerts that I sent her. She would arrange to head to her brother Jason’s and we could all meet up for a few days and she would attend a show with me in Atlanta. As we were winding up our lengthy and necessary girl talk, she paused and said, “Listen, I have something else to tell you. Thomas called your home and called me. He recently heard through the rumor mill that you’re traveling around with a band. I couldn’t help myself and told him they are all gorgeous hot guys and they love you.” She continued with, “You owe him no explanation for what you do, but I told him that it was about your writing and you were doing great. He wants you and him to catch up and thinks maybe he can invite himself to take in one of their concerts. He went on about how he was missing you now and really wanted to see you. I guess girlfriend he isn’t with anyone and suddenly wants what was best for him that he gave up. I told him he should just move on, but he needs to hear that from you. I don’t ever want him hurting you again. I know this is not what you want to hear, but he ended the conversation telling me he loved you, he never stopped loving you.”
My heart dropped, now he says all this after his long absence, and the finality of our divorce. I couldn’t answer her, I was speechless. I fought back the tears that swelled in my eyes, but then they began to drip down my face and across my lips. “Madison, talk to me, I didn’t want to upset you. I had to be honest with you and not keep this from you. I think Thomas was an idiot for ever letting you go but I believe he loved you while you were married.”
“Oh, I know he loved me, and I loved him, it’s still so hard to understand why we ever parted after all those years, and he moved on so quickly to another, that hasn’t lasted.”
“Who knows how guys think, but totally his loss I say. I hate what he did to you. I support you in whatever you decide. If you decide to talk to him let him see you’re strong and that you’ve moved on. Maybe seeing him will bring you closure. I believe you need that. I know girlfriend that you’re torn and that’s tragic. My heart hurts for you, please know that I’ll be there for you as I always have been.”
I cleared my throat, “Jillian I could never thank you for being with me through all my drama and I will always need you. I’ll think about what you said. It’s a lot to think about. Let’s catch up soon; I’ll be home for a few weeks after we wrap up the show here in South Beach. I’m excited to plan Atlanta and I think you saw on the schedule after that we’ll be off to the Alamo. You’ll have to go shopping with me for cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.” I laughed. “I really miss you!” Jillian replied, “I miss you too.”
I gazed through my tear clouded sight to the phone for so long, I looked at the back of my eyelids as I sealed my eyes closed. My phone sounded:
You awake yet? Not sure you’re up sleepyhead. I couldn’t sleep; my thoughts kept seeing a music note nestled on one naked sexy belly. Stop me now… hope you aren’t sore. We have practice today and Maxwell asked us to meet up with some promotional marketing sponsors. It’s going to be a long afternoon. I was thinking do you like tapas and art? I’d like if you would join me tonight to visit some galleries in the Art Deco District and I know a great tapas place?
Rand
I wiped my eyes, and a smile came to my pursed lips. I replied:
I love art, I like the body artwork I had the rare opportunity of viewing last night. Actually I collect different pieces of art, so yes that would be really nice, and tapas for dinner sounds so much better than dining with the entire band, not that I don’t enjoy them all, but this evening sounds nice.
I sent that response, and then paused and sent this next one but, before I could finish typing it my eyes filled with cheerful tears and I hit send instead of rewriting it. I didn’t want him to know that I was crying and had been upset, it didn’t have to do with him.
Thank you Rand, I really need this. This will make me feel ……much better. I was upset…but
I knew in a moment he would surely respond, I waited, and I waited. No response came back and I released a big breath, maybe he put his phone away, then his response came. I heard a light tap on my door, “Madison, it’s Rand open the door…I’m here for you.”
I walked to the door; I held the door handle and then opened it wide. Rand looked at me, noticing my tear streaked face and wiped away my last tears. He did not question them; he just knew something wasn’t right by the way I said I really needed this night. I looked up at him and he kissed me and firmly grabbed hold of my waist. He pulled me into him, but then set me back and lifted up my pajama shirt, and looked at my belly piercing and smiled.
“Madison let it out, don’t write this, we all carry sadness, but I’d rather see you smile,” He tugged at my waist twisting me side to side playfully, “Anything you want to share with me?” He seized my jaw, tilting it upward toward his lips once more.
I shook my head no as I trembled and let out a smile.
“I’m looking forward to us going out tonight.” he changed the subject to a happier thought.
“Rand, I am too, I’m good, thank you. I’ll be fine. Sometimes I think too much.”
“I can take your worries away for awhile,” he proceeded to kiss and lift my pajama top higher.
“Oh I am sure you can keep my mind occupied, it’s just that Jillian and I were talking about my ex.”
“That I can’t help you with except to keep him as your ex,” Rand grinned.
“I’m going to be just fine, but thank you for your concern,” I smiled.
“See that’s what I like, seeing you smile.” Rand added, “Hey, this will make you laugh. You should see the guys since they got their piercings…Kent added another brow piercing. Raeford actually got his tongue pierced and said it hurts to talk. Ron got his nipple pierced, and Isaac, he went down low with a Prince Albert.”
I could actually picture all these and laughed aloud. I asked, “What did you get?”
He replied, “Me? I got a secret musical note,” as he pulled me in, and tucked me under his arm. I felt this warmth and decided to hold on to it for the rest of the day even though I knew he had to leave soon.
The Art Deco District that evening was amazing. There were so many galleries and as I enjoyed this time spent with Rand, I wondered if it was a date or just a friendly outing. Either title of this scenario I wouldn’t change how wonderful it was. We stopped into several of the art studios and one gallery had such wonderful canvas paintings. One in particular we both felt a vibe from was titled, “Separation.” It displayed two lovers, a man and a woman each walking away from the other and in a field of colors and high, wild weeds sweeping across the landscape and the sky was a setting orange and grey hue. We stood in front of it and took this all in. It was so innocent and yet powerful and seemed appropriate to our friendly, uncategorized relationship.
Rand seemed like he was really appreciating the art as we toured in and out of the district. Never once did he separate his hand from my fingers except when I excused myself to the ladies room. When I returned, I found him talking and smiling with one of the artist’s agents, and she was tall, built perfectly and simply lovely. He was quick to glance at me and halt his conversation, but not without a quick kiss to her cheek, at least it wasn’t to her lips. I did see him signing something for her as well so it appeared that she had asked him for his autograph, which was not uncommon at all, it happened very often when he or the band were out in public.