Rock n Roll Babes from Outer Space (30 page)

As she spasmed and sparked with extreme pleasure, her many cunts grew and widened and merged so that where they had sucked in a finger, it was now an entire hand that they ingested, and then an arm, until finally, her entire body gaped open and swallowed Jake whole. He filled her up, from head to toe—even her limbs were replete with him. Jake, meanwhile, found himself squeezed inside the most delicious, warm, wet space, at once profoundly comforting and deeply exciting. Come to Mothership indeed. He swam through her, surfing her waves. He felt an orgasm ripple through his body from his head to his feet and then back up again, through each vertebra, down every nerve path, even along his very marrow. Jake had never experienced an orgasm that was so powerful or which lasted so long. He felt utterly annihilated. Shaken and stirred to the core of his bean. Just as he was beginning to notice that it was a trifle difficult to breathe, Baby moaned and stiffened and came again, screaming with pleasure.

Lati and the twins were just stepping into the house when they heard Baby holler. They rushed into the lounge just in time to see a gasping and totally slimed Jake come tumbling out of the largest, most extraordinary cunt any
of them had ever seen, on a tidal wave of juices. He was a bit blue in the face, which made him and Baby an even more perfect pair.

Iggy and Revor had dashed in as well, and were squealing and howling and performing somersaults of sheer delight.

Baby looked up at their audience. ‘Sorry,’ she apologised breathlessly and with a naughty giggle, ‘I forgot. In space, you know, no one can hear you cream. Now, fuck off, ya slags.’

Lati grabbed the twins each by an arm and led them upstairs to make further inroads, so to speak, into the question of how much fun one alien girl with an infinite number of cunts could have with two Earth boys.

By the time Jake recovered, Baby’s petals were folding back in on themselves, except for one spot on her neck that she was stroking absent-mindedly, her eyes closed. He bent over her, scooped her up in his arms and, trying not to huff or puff too much (she was, after all, something of an Amazon and Jake wasn’t exactly Mr Jock), carried her up the stairs and into the shower. There, they made love all over again. Ending up in Jake’s room, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, or rather, Jake fell asleep in Baby’s arms. Baby didn’t sleep much anyway, and her mind was whirring.

Something told her this would be her final night on Earth.

Wheeeee,
yodelled the Sirians and the Alphas and the Cherubim and the rest as Pop zipped through the Last Wormhole Before Planet Earth like a toboggan on a water
slide.
Yeeha!
There was further hilarity, and not a little panic when they discovered that they’d exceeded the recommended speed limit for wormholes and were starting to get some of their molecules confused—a Sirian and a Zeta Reticulan inadvertently swapped noses, for instance, and Qwerk must have traded a few brain cells with an Alpha, because he actually began
laughing at the others’ jokes.

Eros, meanwhile, had just caught wind of the fact that the biggest, baddest, bestest rock concert ever was going to happen the following night in Sydney, Australia, Earth.
Those babes.
Promises-shmomises, Eros was going to be
in the mosh.
What had God ever done for him, hey?

But twinkle twinkle Mazzy Star, how the hell do you get that far?
Kirkwood gaps!
Eros jumped up and down in his joy! That’s it! The ejection seats of the asteroid belt! If I can just manoevre into one of the gaps, Jupiter’s gravitational pull will just whip me up and away!

Here we go! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

After what seemed to Baby a very long time veering on forever, Jake finally woke up. ‘Morning, starshine,’ she greeted him, rather too brightly for that time of day.

‘Mmmm,’ he moaned, stretching and yawning and rolling on top of her. He was still sticky with her juices and his own. ‘I feel seedy,’ he informed her.

‘Why don’t you take a shower then?’

‘What—and spoil the moment?’ he replied, yawning
again, rolling off and scratching his balls. Baby looked at Jake with a new and disturbing clarity. Her antennae felt unusually sharp. They were picking up all sorts of things. Jake’s air of post-coital complacency, for one. The Missing Banana for another. (It was hiding under a copy of Homer’s
Odyssey,
another book Jake was planning to read When He Got Old.) She suddenly recalled the feeling of let-down she’d had that first night in the sexual experimentation chamber, when she’d wondered if that was all there was to sex. Now of course, she knew better. Last night—now that was Sex with a capital S. It was more than that, too, it was, you know, the pop thing as well as the rock thing. But now what?

Jake threw an arm over her. It felt heavy and confining. She needed
space,
she thought. Which, coming from an alien, could mean any number of things.

‘Breakfast?’

‘Sure,’ said Baby, thinking, go on, just leave me alone for a minute.

Jake trundled off downstairs. She could hear the toilet flush. Yuk-o-rama. She was still unused to Earthling evacuation habits. Alien systems were so much more efficient. They just turned food into energy. Full stop. Oh, there was the occasional fart, of course. But as we have seen, alien farts are in a category by themselves. Practically art. Arty farty.

Soon Jake returned with two plates. On one was a three-day old almond croissant, some scrambled eggs and some cheese he’d stolen from Saturna and Skye’s half of the fridge, on the other was an electric pencil sharpener and some other bits and pieces he’d scavenged from George’s place for her. They ate in silence. Well, not exactly silence. The whirring of the pencil sharpener
and the sound of Baby scoffing metal lent the romantic little scene the soundtrack of an auto wrecking yard. Jake didn’t care.
He was in love.
He was thinking, could it really be that there were birds in the sky, but I never heard them singing?

After breakfast, they began to feel amorous all over again. Jake knelt on the mattress and pulled open a drawer in the cupboard by the bed. ‘So
that’s
where all my socks are,’ he exclaimed in wonderment as he chucked the dirty plates in. Closing the drawer he turned back to Baby and, putting on his best Iggy imitation, proceeded to nuzzle and growl at her astounding breasts.

The little act with the dirty dishes and the sock drawer did it for Baby.
Rock n roll.
She was definitely in love again.

For the moment, anyway.

Courtney Love: ‘When I get what I want, I never want it again.’

Doll was the first to return to the flying saucer on the day of the big concert. Skye and Saturna had risen early to open the shop. Lati was off with the twins, as usual, on some sort of chemical binge. Baby was still with Jake. Doll fumed. Boys. Drugs. Those two were so unreliable. They were due at the stadium in just a few hours for the sound check. Pacing, she found herself at the door to Galgal’s control room. None of them had been in there in ages. She pushed open the door, glanced around and was about to
leave when something on one of the monitors caught her eye. ‘Jump-fuck-ing Jupiter!’ she exclaimed, a chill running up her antennae.

There was no time to waste.

Mum had received a message. It was a simple message. ‘Hello, Mum.’ Only a Nufonian could have sent that message. Qwerk. It had to be him. He was coming to get them. She checked the date and spatial locus. Doing a few quick calculations, she worked out that he was probably through the Last Wormhole before the tollgate to the lunar orbit.

God operated the tollgate, of course. Fancying Himself something of a metaphysician, He’d set the toll at ‘something of yoonal value’. The girls had got through by tossing the Bing Crosby record collection into the basket. It was originally Lati’s idea of a joke, a brief diversion while they worked out a more plausible offering. They could hardly believe it when the light turned green and the turnstile went up. Doll had activated the boosters and they shot through before God had a chance to realise His mistake. It wasn’t a mistake, of course. God is infallible.

The Nufonians would be touching down in a few hours.

Knowing the Nufonian distaste for scenes, Doll banked on the likelihood that Qwerk would make his move only after the concert was finished. That meant that if they jumped into the saucer right at the end, they’d have a fair chance of making a getaway. Doll had to get the saucer over to the cricket ground then. She’d explain to the others later.

She glanced at the chronometer. Hoping that the others had come back, she went to Lati’s room first and stuck her head in. No one there. A messy array of small sealed bags
covered the bed. In the bags were pills and powders, mushrooms and leaves of various descriptions. Doll opened one, dipped a finger into some powder and sniffed. The cocaine launched itself straight into her brain and rocketed around her blue matter. Doll felt her feet lift off the ground. She was spinning like a top. With sudden clarity, she knew exactly what needed to be done. Scooping up all the drugs in her arms, Doll hightailed it to Galgal’s engine room. There wasn’t a moment to spare.