Riveted: Drawn Series Book 1 (19 page)

“No. Dead serious,” replied Axel. I was pissed.

“If girls did that, you would call us whores. But it’s
all part of the “bro code” I guess,” I fumed.

“Thanks Matt. Now my sister is going to be pissed at me.
Awesome,” he muttered. Matt shrugged.

“Hey guys. I uh got to go. Something came up,” he said
quickly, avoiding looking at either one of us in the face.

“Oh sure. You start shit with me and Bleu and then you
high tail it out of here. Dick move man,” said Axel with a smirk. Matt gave me
a hug and fist bumped Axel on his way out. Axel turned off the TV.

“You know, things will get better Axel. Seriously it
will. You need to try and stop feeling the way you do,” I said softly. His face
clouded over and he stood up like someone set his ass on fire.

“Look at you Bleu??!! You discover our mom, dead. You
work your ass off; you do everything right and your fiancé dumps you.”

“I kind of cheated on him Axel,” I replied.

“Wait? What?” he stuttered? I nodded.

“I talked to some guy from work, we flirted a bit. He
considered it cheating,” I replied.

“That’s not cheating. That’s fucking flirting. Shit I do
that every day with my clients. Do I sleep with them or date them? Not all the
time. Carl was a douche nozzle,” he remarked.

“Well it really did a number for my relationship.”

“That’s what I mean! Stable relationships? Not for us. The
dude left you high and dry! Then Cyrus kicked your ass because you were trying
to find me, to help me! When do things work out for you?” he yelled.

“Oh so no one told you that Jack and I are fine?? Because
we are!” I yelled right back at him. He flinched.

“Ok so I was wrong about that one. One thing. You get
your ass handed to you by some psycho that I am dealing with. Shit all over
again! What’s going to happen next? You get pregnant and Jack dies in some mass
explosion??!!” I laughed. He was not pleased, nor was he joking.

“First of all, I am fine after the beat down Cyrus handed
out. I am not going to let something like that get me down. I may have
nightmares and panic attacks, but you know what? I am going to be okay. Maybe
not now, or next week, but eventually I will be okay. Yeah things have sucked
for a long time. But my family is together. We have love. And if I did get
pregnant, it would not be a bad thing. You love being a dad don’t you?” I
asked. He nodded. I touched his face with my hand and smiled.

“I think things are going to be alright Axel.” He sat
there for what seemed like a long time. I studied his face and prayed that
everything would go smoothly tomorrow.

“You are not going to start singing or laying hands on me
are you? Start praying for me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I laughed.

“Nah, I am good. If I am going to lay hands on you, it’s
going to be because I am beating the hell out of you,” I muttered.

“You were not kidding about the whole getting pregnant
thing were you? Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked.

“No Axel. I am not pregnant. I am happy though. I finally
found someone I love and loves me back. I am good. Babies can happen later,
that’s even if Jack wants any,” I replied. Axel nodded and we both looked up as
Jack stood there. I wondered how long he had been standing there. He walked off
to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Axel and I looked at one another
and I shrugged.

“What did I say wrong?” I asked.

“No clue. Let’s see. You are not pregnant. You don’t plan
on it in the near future and um, you love him,” he replied.

 “No clue. Wait! Have you told him that you love
him? “He asked. Shit!

“Um no. I have been too chicken shit to say anything,” I
replied. He shook his head.

“Maybe that’s it Bleu. Maybe he is pissed because you
told
me
that you loved him, before
actually telling
him
?”

“Thanks Dr. Phil,” I said while standing up and slipping
my crutches under my arms. I hobbled over to Jack’s bedroom and bumped the door
with one of my crutches. He opened the door and held it open for me to come
inside.  He waited until I was inside before he shut the door. He had
taken off his clothes and was standing there in his boxer briefs. If he was not
pissed, I would have ripped those boxers off.

“What’s up?” he said, barely looking at me. I tossed
myself onto the bed and my crutches fell on the floor.

“Well let’s see, my
boyfriend
has gone all emo on
me and I haven’t a clue as to why,” I snapped. He looked up at me.

“Hmmm, well my
girlfriend
told her brother that
she loves me, but the other day when I said it to her, she said nothing!” he
replied, throwing his hands up in the air.

“What did you want me to do? The last person I told that
to went and fucked my boss in MY bed and then I had to kick his ass!” I yelled.
He ran his hands over his bald head and groaned.

“Bleu! I am not him! Not one bit! I have been here for
you! When your own brother ditched you, I was there. We all were!
You
are my family Bleu. There is
only
you. What the fuck Bleu!!! I love you
isn’t that enough???!!! I tried not to get all ass hurt about you not saying it
back, but I refuse to have Axel be the go between in our relationship. I get
it; I understand that you two are tight, but tell
me
not
him
,
that you love me,”

“Jack! I am trying here. I am really trying. I was
scared. Scared of how I feel. I have a lot of baggage. Axel and I both do. But
I never said that I was not happy with you. Never,” I replied. He looked at me
and grabbed his pants and his keys.

“No, you never said you weren’t happy. But you tell your
brother that you love me? Before me? You could not come and talk to me, maybe
tell me how you feel? No, it takes me getting upset for you to finally open up
to me. And all because you think that I am going to hurt you like that douche
nozzle you were engaged to!” he said, his face inches from mine, his eyes full
of pain. I can’t say anything. I don’t know what to say.

“I was wrong,” I whispered. He just shook his head,
throwing his hands in the air.

“It’s not always about you Bleu,” he whispered.

“Where are you going?” I asked softly. He slid into his
pants and tugged on a t-shirt.

“I will be back. I need to clear my head,” he muttered,
opening the bedroom door and walking out. I sank down on the bed as tears started
falling down my face. Fuck!

“You okay sis?” asked Axel, peeking his head around the
door. I looked up and wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. I was too
upset to even throw a sarcastic barb at him.

“If I said yes, would you believe me?” I replied. Abby
walked in behind him, when the hell had she come over?

“What are you doing here?” I asked. She crossed her arms
and tapped her foot impatiently.

“To just be with you,” she replied softly, coming over to
the bed and sitting down. She took me in her arms and rubbed my head. I don’t
know how she heard, who called her or what was going on, but I am glad she was
here. I rested my head against her chest.

“Everything is so fucked up Abs,” I whimpered. She pushed
me away from her and looked at me square in the face.

“No. It can get better. Look at you. Look at Axel. You
are survivors. Plain and simple. You guys spent the night at my house almost
every night for a year after your Mom died. But you guys did not become
homicidal maniacs. You survived.” She wiped my eyes with her hand.

“I know Abs. But the past couple of months…”

“Really? You are going to sit there and say all this crap
after you handed me a new one in the other room not too long ago?” said Axel. I
wanted to punch him, but he was right.

“Yep, I am a hypocrite I guess,” I sniffled. Axel
laughed.

“I understand you. You understand me. I bailed on you.
Not cool I know. But I am here now. Please take what I can give you, what we
all can give you,” he replied. I nodded.

“Jack will be back honey. I can guarantee it. He does not
seem like the type of guy to just say “I love you” and then bail. Just give him
some time,” replied Abby. Axel nodded in agreement.  Sniffling, I reached
out for my crutches and stood up shakily. I put on Jack’s hoodie. I know I was
acting like he moved out, he only said he had to get some air. But I was solely
going on past occurrences here. People left me.

“How does Chinese food sound?” asked Abby. I laughed and
followed them out of Jack’s room. I looked back as I left and sighed sadly. I
wanted him here.

We drove to the Chinese food place
and it felt like old times. Axel messed with Abby’s radio up front until she
slapped his hand off the radio dial. I smiled to myself Lamar, Abby’s husband,
was supposed to meet us at the restaurant. This was exactly what I needed
tonight. We parked and I was glad that the place was not crowded so we could
relax and I could avoid looks of other people at my split lip, stitches in my
forehead, broken leg and fading black eye.

We were seated rather quickly and I smiled as Lamar came
in. He was ridiculously tall with a curly afro and pale brown eyes. He leaned
down and kissed his wife and came over to give me a hug.  He and Axel
smiled at one another. He sat down next to his wife.

“Hey guys. Sorry I was late. Baseball practice ran a bit
long. Then one of the kids needed a ride home. Did I miss anything?” he asked
after he had ordered water from the waitress.

“Not too much. Just catching up I guess,” Axel replied.

“My brother told me about tomorrow. Anything I can do to
help?” he asked. Axel shrugged.

“Just cross your fingers that we get this jerk so that I
can bring my daughter home,” he replied. Lamar nodded.

“I will. My brother knows what he’s doing. You are in
good hands,” he replied.

“Thanks man,” he said softly. The waitress came back and
we placed our orders. I checked my cell phone to see if Jack had texted me.
Nothing. My mind was still on the fight we had; no matter how hard I tried to
shake it. Abby noticed and kept shooting me reassuring looks.

“Stop wallowing in self-loathing over there drama queen.
He will be back. Did you two ever realize that your family is insane and it
takes a truly strong person to deal with all of your combined baggage?” she
asked, teasingly.

“She’s right. You guys are crazy,” remarked Lamar.

“Us? Crazy?” asked Axel, a feigned innocent look on his
face. Abby cracked up and I could not help but laugh.

“Certifiably,” I admitted and giggled.

Abby dropped Axel off at the shop
and we drove in silence for a bit. She patted my hand with her own.

“Bleu, do not let this get you down. Think positive
thoughts. It will all work out, I promise. I did tell you that you needed to be
honest with him. I am sorry that you had to go through this just to see that I
am right, “she said. I glared at her and she made a fishy face with her lips.

“I know Abs, and I will try,” I replied as I tried to
stop laughing.

“Listen, tomorrow is going to be hell. Why don’t we go
out, you know, have a girl's night out or something. Get our minds off of the
whole nasty situation that is going on. And the fact that I am still not
pregnant,” she said, her eyes kind of sad.

“Maybe I should stay close, you know? In case something
happens?”

“I know you. You like to wallow. You are going to sit
there in that apartment and drive yourself crazy. You are going to pace, or in
your case, hobble, all over the apartment until you snap. You will be a wreck,”
she said.

“Fine! What time?” I asked.  She looked thoughtful
for a moment.

“Wow I did not think you would agree to it so quickly. I
thought I would have to hog tie you or something,” she remarked.

“What. Time?” I asked impatiently. She grinned.

“I will pick you up at eight. We can grab some dinner
first,” she said. I nodded. She went around helping me out of her car. We
hugged and she walked with me to the front door.  I hobbled inside and
switched the lights on. No one was home. I grabbed my laptop and then I lowered
myself down on the couch. Opening it, I checked emails and tried to work.
Around eleven, I powered it off, placed it on the coffee table and hobbled off
to my room. Shutting the door, I got into some boxers and a t-shirt, swallowed
two pain pills and dropped off to sleep.

I slept fitfully that night. My stomach hurt, which
hopefully meant that I was going to get my period. My head pounded and my chest
ached from everything that had happened. I sat up and cursed myself for being
so dramatic. I hated being like this. I listened for some noise in the
apartment and only heard the clock ticking in my bedroom. Sighing, I lay back
down and stared at the ceiling. I grabbed my pillow and hugged it to me. I
missed Jack so much. Eventually, I drifted back to sleep.

The next morning, my alarm woke me up at eight thirty.
Groaning, I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed my crutches and hobbled into the
bathroom. I was still alone in the apartment. I wrapped my cast in a huge
garbage bag, the kind you use for leaves, and I climbed into the shower,
letting the super-hot water bead on my skin. With my eyes closed, I soaped up
my hair and tried to think positive thoughts about the day. Stepping out of the
shower, I tied up my long hair, grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top and
hobbled out of my bedroom.  I flopped on the couch, unplugged my cell
phone and frowned when I saw that I had no missed calls or texts.   I
decided to go into the shop, regardless of the fact that Jack was being a
clown. Hopefully work would take my mind off of all the shit that was going on
in my life.