Authors: Melissa Cutler
He laughed, pained. “When I was in the army, they were on my paperwork as my emergency contacts, so when I was injured, a call was placed, but they weren't living in the same house anymore, and their church wouldn't release any information on its members. There was no way to reach them besides, perhaps, returning to the town and showing up at church. To this day, I have no idea where they are. For all I know, they left in the wake of the scandal. Maybe I ruined them, too.”
“They ruined themselves,” Allison said.
You can't escape the agendas of others.
Those words were haunting in their truth.
“I did that,” she said. “What Noelle did to you. I did that to Lowell. I used him for a baby.”
“I don't think it's the same by any stretch of the imagination.”
“But it is. I didn't love him, never. I had a plan for myself since I was a kid, since after the near drowning, to be a mother and a homemaker. I saw Lowell, with his wealth and privilege and status as a congressman, as a means to an end. He used me, too, but it doesn't take away my role in everything that happened.”
“I hope you've forgiven yourself for that. People have married for far flimsier reasons than you did.”
“I'm on my way to forgiving myself. Like you and your past, it's hard for me to regret the choices I made because I love the outcome. I love Katie. I love living here in Destiny Falls.”
And I think I'm falling in love with you.
But she was not tempted to tell him that part. They were too new a couple for her to burden him with it yet.
“I used you, too,” she said. “You were right about that. I came to Destiny Falls with an agenda and made you feel like my future hinged on your help. I'm so sorry.”
“You did, yes, but I'm not an eighteen-year-old anymore. And I don't do anything I don't want to. Even though I lashed out at you the first few weeksâwhich I regretâI would never have thrown you out or stripped you of your livelihood. I was scared, and I resented you because I didn't see the situation clearly, just like I hadn't seen Noelle's situation clearly, but I would never have hurt you.”
“I know you wouldn't have, but I still wish I hadn't tried so hard to push my agenda on you.”
He shifted beneath her and took her chin in his hand, then kissed her tenderly. “I decided that I wanted to help you. I decided that you and Katie and your future were worth it. I made your agenda my agenda, because I want to, but it's just that I can't work for you anymore. Whatever is happening between us, I want to meet you in the middle, as equals. You know I won't let you fail with the business. I'll get you set up with new employees and help you train them. Whatever you need. But as your lover, not your paid worker.”
She pulled back and met his gaze. “I have an alternative proposal.” It was an idea she'd been throwing around in her mind all evening, and a large part of the reason she'd felt so anxious. But she was determined to live boldly, which meant embracing what she wanted. Above all, she wanted to be a successful business ownerâand she wanted Theo.
“Share ownership of Cloud Nine with me,” she said. “You don't have to buy in. We'll have a new contract drawn up making us fifty-fifty partners in the corporation.”
He scooted her off his lap again, stood, and walked to the window. “That's not a good deal for you.”
“I think it is.”
“You're just scared about running this place on your own, but I know you can do it. You have a terrific business sense and fresh ideas, and I'm not going to let you struggle.”
She stood and walked to his side. “Be partners with me, Theo.”
He turned to face her. “You realize what that would mean for you and me?”
“Yes. We'd be equals on paper, finally.”
He shook his head. “It would mean we'd be bound together in a permanent way.”
Hearing him say that gave her shivers. She wanted very much to be bound to Theoren Lacroix in a permanent way. She took his hand. “I'm willing to make that jump if you are.”
His expression changed, lightened. He gazed out the window again, then down at their joined hands. “I was wrong before. This is the jump,” he murmured. And then he smiled at her.
The weeks before the exhibition game passed in a blur of late night practices, early morning meetings at the football field, filling out paperwork for the change in corporate partnership filing with the help of Oscar and Presley, and preparing Cloud Nine for the upcoming tourist season, which was starting early, thanks to Allison's terrific idea of opening up reservations for the week of the exhibition game.
Together, he and Allison prepped the boats, getting ready to send their first renters of the season on their week-long trip cruising the canal beginning a few days before the game.
The media arrived sooner than anyone in town expected, though the Wounded Veterans International publicists had prepped Bomb Squad that publicity was part of the deal. After all, what good was playing an exhibition game if there weren't fans and spectators to exhibit it to? The whole reason for the game was to inspire other wounded veterans, those who were struggling with their worth and recovery after their tours of duty, so both teams owed it to veterans the world over to share their stories and set an example.
Despite his discomfort being in the spotlight, Theo approved of the media attention. After he was injured, it took him years before he felt like a whole man again and figured out his new normal, and then only because of Duke coming into his life and roping him in to playing on Bomb Squad. If them playing a high profile game helped gave hope to other vets who hadn't been so lucky to find their own version of Duke or Bomb Squad, then that was great with him.
On the morning they first laid the base platform over the artificial turf, a van from a television news station in the Niagara Falls area met Duke's crew, Theo, and the handful of volunteers at Destiny Falls High School's football field.
The NHL's director of facility operations had volunteered his time to oversee the rink and ice construction, but it was still a major project for Duke and his crew. Theo was on power duty, laying electrical lines for the mobile refrigeration unit that Wounded Veterans International had secured the donated use of and lines to the area of parking lot in which the gala tent would be erected during the week of the game.
The school grounds had plenty of power, but very little of it could be diverted to the stadium in the middle of the school year. The game corresponded with the first weekend of Spring Break, so he'd be able to divert most of the power to the rink on the day of the game, but the rink was going to require a lot of energy to maintain ice quality.
It wasn't long before the news story garnered national attention. Theo had zero interest in politics, but heard from Brandon that the president was in the middle of negotiating something or other with the Russian prime minister, so there was much speculation among the media about the effect of the exhibition game on the negotiations.
Brandon was eating it up. He loved the attention, and the journalists pounced on him. What better story was there than the star player being an amputee and decorated soldier?
One morning, a few days before the exhibition game, while Theo and Katie played and Allison paid the bills, she jumped up from her desk chair. “That's you,” she said, rushing toward the wall-mounted television she'd taken to keeping on in the background with the hopes of catching the game's news coverage.
He looked up in time to see a flash of his face before the news flipped to a new story. Theo wasn't sure he'd ever get used to seeing himself on TV. It was an experience he would've gladly lived without, but those were the breaks.
She unmuted the volume, then backed up the local news noontime broadcast to replay the video footage of yesterday's practice. As the video played, a journalist announced in a voice over, “There was one man missing from our interviews, the man that many New York locals are calling Bomb Squad's secret weapon. Tonight on the news at five, you'll meet the player who went from junior hockey star to war hero, and who many believe is the key to staging another Miracle on Ice.”
Wincing, Theo swiveled the desk chair away from the screen, a move that evoked a giggle from Katie. He wondered if anyone else who'd seen the broadcast had caught the irony in the idea that a Canadian might hold the key for a Miracle-on-Ice-type victory, since the first Miracle on Ice happened when the American hockey team beat the unbeatable Soviet Union team in the 1980 Winter Olympics.
Allison replayed the footage again, looking giddy. “That's you, right? You're a secret weapon now.”
He spun the chair again, smiling with satisfaction as Katie's face lit up and she kicked her legs. He always thought having children wasn't for him because the idea of a helpless being relying on him day in and day out seemed akin to a nightmare, but it wasn't like that for him anymore. It amazed him, the discovery of the simple pleasure it was being able to make a baby smile and laugh, or cuddle close.
Allison set up that night's five o'clock news to record, then flipped the TV off, still smiling in a way that told him she wasn't done teasing him yet. “You're like the Hulk in
The Avengers
.”
“What?” Theo didn't pay much attention to movies, but he was pretty sure being compared to a big green monster wasn't all that complimentary.
“Yes. He was their secret weapon. Wait, no. I know. You're more like Danielson's crane move in
Karate Kid.
”
She demonstrated the move, looking absolutely ridiculous. She almost made him laugh, except he was stuck on the idea of the media giving the Destiny Falls fans the idea that Bomb Squad's fate rested singularly on his shoulders. He'd come a long way in the weeks since Allison arrived at Cloud Nine, but he still hated the feeling of being pressured to succeed. “You know I'm no hero, Allison. I don't want to be. How about I'm just Theo the mechanic out to play a game of hockey?”
She kissed his temple. “That's good enough for me.”
“Before the Bomb Squad news segment, you were about to tell me about an idea you had.”
She looked suddenly sheepish. “It's no big deal.”
“That's okay. Tell me anyway.”
She hesitated for a moment, then reached for a desk drawer. From it, she pulled a piece of paper. “I tried my hand at a budget and a profit projection. I don't even know if that's a real business term, but . . .”
Her words fading away, she shook her head, as though she'd flustered herself. Theo frowned, deeply regretting his contribution to her lack of confidence with his weeks of telling her she was unfit to run the business. It bothered him more every day, what he'd put her through. It reminded him of what he'd put Noelle through. With both women, or girl, as Noelle was, he'd had the power to build them up, but all he'd done was break them down.
He couldn't change the past, though. Not even a past like his that was littered with regret. He took her chin in his hand, turned her face up toward him, and kissed her until he felt her body relax.
“Tell me about your plan.”
She drew a fortifying breath, then said, “I did some reconnaissance yesterday.”
“Reconnaissance how?”
“I posed as a potential customer at two other canal cruising boat rental companies, to get the lowdown on our competition.”
Theo had done that when he'd first started at Cloud Nine, but it'd been a while. “What did you find out?”
“Neither of them had anything but the basics, a lot like Cloud Nine right now.”
“Sounds like you want to change that.”
“I think we can do better than that and it'll draw customers in. Maybe even locals. I was thinking we could offer a bunch of add-onsâpicnic baskets, baskets for romantic evenings with wine and strawberries, that kind of thing. I used to organized gift baskets for charity events all the time, like Olivia and I are doing for the gala. But for Cloud Nine, we'd have an extremely high profit margin because those kind of baskets aren't that expensive to set up.”
Her voice trailed off as Cloud Nine's front door opened. Theo looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. He shot to his feet, bringing Katie up with him. “Noelle?”
She stopped and smiled. “Theo.”
She was taller than he remembered. Tall and blond and wearing a lot of jewelry, as though she'd fallen into a lot of money since he'd last seen her.
“What are you doing here? I mean, I'm sorry. It's just such a surprise.”
She started talking, but his pulse was pounding so hard and fast that he had to walk close to her and tilt his head to hear what she said.
“. . . and I saw you on the news. Can you believe that? Earlier this week, CTV did a special interest piece on your hockey team and a game you have coming up soon. I never thought I'd see you again, and I'd made my peace with the feeling that we parted with so much left unfinished, but seeing you on TV, it was like a sign that I was supposed to come find you.”
When Theo had considered the ramifications of the exhibition game's media attention, he'd wondered if his parents might see it, but for whatever reason, he hadn't considered Noelle. Somehow, in his head, she'd gotten stuck in the image of a seventeen-year-old girl. Awkward and gangly, but pretty and young. Somehow he'd forgotten that she would have grown up, the same way he had.
He'd trapped her in amber, but here she was, with laugh lines bracketing her lips, wisdom in her eyes, and her posture straighter. She seemed relaxed in her own body, and taller, a more complete vision of the person he'd only glimpsed behind the shell she'd held around her spirit to protect her from her family.
It was in that moment that he realized he'd never actually known her. Their bond had been forged solely on escaping their screwed up families and their church.
Noelle smiled at Katie, then Allison. “This is your family?”
In his shock, he'd forgotten about introductions. He didn't see a need to correct her on the family part. In a huge way, she was right. This was his family, his future. The business, Allison, and Katie. He'd never thought about it like that, but he liked the way it felt, her looking at the three of them and seeing a unit. He was starting to think of them as a unit, too.
“This is Katie,” he made her hand wave, “and that's Allison.”
Noelle extended a warm, genuine smile to Allison, who stood and shook her hand.
“I'm happy to meet you, Noelle.”
“Likewise. I suppose Theo never mentioned me, but we grew up in the same small town together outside of Quebec.”
Allison put her arm around Theo's waist in a gesture of support. “He did mention you, and I'm glad you're here. I bet you two have a lot of catching up to do.” To Theo, she said, “I've got this, if you want to go sit somewhere.”
He did his best to thank her with his eyes, then handed Katie over and gave her a quick kiss.
“Maybe we could walk,” Noelle said. “I've never been this far south. That river is beautiful.”
“The canal. Yes, it is.”
He heard the faintest hint of her French accent, but she'd so far spoken only in English, so he went along with that. He preferred it, actually, because the language change helped him feel even more distant from the shared pain of their pasts. For some reason, it was more comfortable to talk to her this way.
“Your daughter is beautiful, too,” she said as they walked in the direction of Locks.
“She's not mine.” But that felt like equal parts lie and truth. In so many ways, both Katie and Allison had become critical components of his life. “Allison is myâ”
What was she? His lover, his business partner, his salvation. She almost hadn't been, he realized with a now-familiar pang of regret. What would he have done if he'd scared her away in those early days, as he'd tried tirelessly to do? He would never have known what he was missing out on. Something would have always been missing and he wouldn't have known what.
“She's my everything.”
Noelle smiled. “I could see that in the way she looked at you. She's a lucky woman.”
“I think it's more the other way around with the luck. She puts up with me.” He took her hands and turned to face her. “Tell me life has been better for you than it was when we parted. You look fantastic.”
“My life is fantastic. I found my everything too. He's a real estate investor in Toronto. We're ridiculously happy.”
Looking at her, he believed it. A weight lifted from him that, until this moment, he hadn't realized had been pressing on him. “Toronto? No wonder your English is so good.”
“I'm teaching him French, but it's slow going.”
“Children?” he asked, though it made his heart hurt anew to get the word out.
“No, by my choice.” His face must have mirrored his shock because she added, “You seem surprised by that.”
“Can you blame me?”
She shook her head. “You and I didn't part on the best of terms, and I've prayed for the chance to apologize to you for the terrible position I put you in. What I did, it's haunted me. There's a part of me that hasn't been able to be happy with my life thinking that I'd never get the chance to make amends. Seeing you on TV was . . .”
Her words trailed off, then she shook her head. “I knew it was my chance to tell you how sorry I was for getting pregnant.” She took his hand. “I lied to you and I used you. Please tell me you can forgive me.”
“Noelle, please don't. Not after I all but forced you to give the baby up.”
“You didn't.”
“I did. The same way you said you've been haunted, I've been, too.”
She looked out over the canal, at the curve and the green water, the bridges, the buildings. “This place is incredible.”
He wasn't sure where she was going with such an abrupt topic change, but he decided to follow. “It is. It's been my home for more than ten years now.”
She put her back to the canal and faced him. “If you had married me, then you would never have known about this place. You would have been stuck in that town. I would have been stuck there. Our child would have been stuck there, too.”