“Shh, don’t let the children know that. You’ll ruin my reputation as the mean old lady.” Allena laughed.
The laughter died away, and Allena bumped her hip against Sarah’s. “You’ve smiled more lately, but you still have the sadness showing up in your eyes.”
Sarah shrugged. “I suppose. I keep telling myself he’ll come back, but I know he’s suffering.” She shrugged. “I wish there was something I could do for him…”
“You of all people should understand that it takes a long time to heal from the inside out.” Allena took Sarah’s plate from her and set it on the table. “Sometimes that healing turns us into a person we don’t recognize, and when it’s all said and done, we turn into someone new.”
Sarah nodded. Her shoulders rose and fell with the breath she forced inside. She kissed the other woman’s cheek and moved off to escape the lines of people coming to the tables to fill their plates.
Billy Browntail sat on the ground between his proud parents. Her lips curved. Not so long ago she remembered another ceremony, his condition in danger of taking his life, and now, albeit pale and weak, he sat amongst the ones who loved him.
The drums began a light serenade, signaling for everyone to come and join the circle, eat, dance, and converse with their family. Sarah hung back, a hand pressed to her chest. The memories overwhelmed her.
The way the drums pounded inside her, rather than her heart beating, reminded her that she lived and breathed. Tears came to her eyes. At one time she’d hop over and join the others who danced. She’d welcome the chance to lose herself in the way her people celebrated, mourned, and prayed.
A faster-paced rumble joined the drums. Her arm fell, and she closed her eyes.
Please don’t be so cruel to tease me this way.
Afraid to turn around and find the one thing she desired most in the world only a figment of her imagination, she stayed rooted to the spot. Her heartbeat sped up over the drums and the other noise that she tried hard to ignore.
What if it isn’t Reefer, but another biker who happened onto the reservation?
Sarah’s shoulders shook, and she gasped at the arrival of more bikes pulling up behind her. The tears she’d held back for so long rushed to the surface and spilled down her cheeks. She refused to turn around. Her body was caught in the middle of breaking apart if it wasn’t The Chromes and Wheels gang arriving, and jumping for joy if it turned out her motorcycle family came back for her.
Oh, God, Reefer. Please let it be you.
She covered her face with both hands. Her body trembled, and she fought the wild urge to turn and run.
“Please. Please. Please. Please…” she mumbled into her hands.
The gentle pressure of a set of hands circled her wrists and brought her hands away from her face. Her eyes squeezed tight. Stars danced behind her eyelids.
The seconds ticked away with the beat of the drums. She opened her eyes and absorbed what her mind refused to grasp. Her hands frantically touched his chest, his face, his arms.
“You’re really here.” Her chin trembled. “Tell me you’re here.”
“I’m here.” He ran his finger across her chin, down the side of her neck.
Her eyes drifted closed at his touch. His lips brushed against hers, and she whimpered.
He’s back. He came back for me.
Reefer lifted her up off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her legs dangled down the front of him. She broke the kiss and smiled.
“I’m not letting you walk away again. You have to take me with you.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to him, refusing him the chance to turn around and walk out of her life.
“You won’t find me arguing, Kitten.” He squeezed her ass. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” He smiled over her shoulder and placed her back on the ground. “I think a few people want to say hello.” He nodded his head behind her.
She turned around. Sarah shrieked and flew into Knuckles’ open arms.
“Oh, I’ve missed you too.” She gave the gang leader a hug around his waist.
Knuckles kissed the top of her head. “Well, it took a little time for Reefer to get his head screwed on right, but we’re all glad that he did. You’re part of our family for life, girly.”
She moved from one member to the next, passing out more hugs and kisses than a politician. Her cheeks grew sore from the constant smile, and she gave up wiping the tears of joy from her face. Back with the gang, she realized that peace and hope had returned to her.
One man stood back from the rest. His hands clasped behind his back, his chin lowered, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. She hurried over, glad to see Crank’s head was no longer bruised and injured.
She tilted his head down more to check out the scar. “Good, someone took your stitches out. I’ve been worried about that.”
“Reefer took them out, Sarah.” He smiled. “I’m sure glad he finally came for you. I’ve been bugging him… I knew that’s what you’d want me to do.”
She grinned and gave him a hug. “You’re a good brother, Crank.”
The others split up, joined the crowd, and worked their way over to shake the hands of Billy Browntail’s family. Sarah wrapped her arms around Reefer and gazed out at the mix of people she claimed as her family. She thought her supply of tears gone, but more found their way out.
“Aw, Kitten, no more tears, huh?” Reefer wiped her face.
She smiled. “They’re only happy tears.”
“What do you say we get your bag and convince the others it’s time to hit the road?” He laughed at the way she squealed.
She led him to her car parked over by the community house. Her hand never left his. She removed her bag that she’d packed two weeks ago, when Reefer went to talk with Ellen, in the hopes he’d come back. She left the keys in the car, and this time she’d tell the chief to sell it.
Anxious to go, she ran into the back of Reefer. She lifted her head. Her hand tightened in his.
Her da stood in their way, his brows pulled down, and the smell of alcohol floated towards them. “I found this, Sari.”
He held out an old Raggedy Ann doll, soiled, faded, and with a missing leg. She stepped forward. Her hands reached for the toy. She gazed down at the doll. A flashback of holding it a lifetime ago about doubled her over.
She lifted the threadbare dress and exposed the doll’s belly. She bit down on her lower lip and hugged the child’s toy to her chest. Right where she remembered on the chest of the doll, over its heart, stamped in red ink were the words ‘I love you’.
“Thank you, Da.” She approached him and kissed him on his weathered cheek.
He gazed up at her, surprised. “Where is your ma?”
She swiped her arm across her eyes and searched for Bill. The old chief headed in their direction.
“Go back to your house, Da.” She covered her mouth and gazed at the sight of her father walking away. Bent over and crippled from the bottle, he walked beside Bill without a glance back at her.
“I love you too, Da,” she whispered.
***
Sarah sat on the Harley, ready to ride out. She didn’t know if everyone’s good mood came from getting back on the road, or if her happiness was infectious. Smiles bounced from one person to another, laughter broke over the roar of the bikes, and the night was clear and warm, perfect for riding out of town.
“Hurry up, Boomerang!” She motioned Reefer over.
His bark of laughter didn’t slow his stride down, and he stepped over to slip a pair of sunglasses down on her nose. “Boomerang? Nah, won’t work.”
“Why not? You went away, but you returned.” She slid the glasses to the top of her head. “Hey, you never did tell me why everyone calls you Reefer.”
“When my dad found out he was going to become a father he ran out and got his first full time job. He worked for Reefer Construction framing houses.” He shrugged. “He liked the name.”
“Hm.” She slid the shades back down over her eyes, and put on her helmet. “I thought you’d have a huge tale to tell behind your name.”
Reefer threw his leg over the motorcycle and ignited the bike. She wiggled closer to him, the plans to ride for a few hours and stop for the night already discussed. Tomorrow they set off for the state of Florida, her first coast-to-coast trip.
With all the other members already out on the road, Reefer pulled out and took his position. The last man out, but the person everyone depended on. He followed the main road through town. At the second stoplight, he veered right and broke out of the chain of riders.
Sarah smiled. She knew exactly where he headed, and it pleased her.
He pulled up in front of Ellen Donaldson’s house. “Go ahead, Kitten, go say your goodbye.”
She jogged up the walkway and knocked. Ellen opened the door and, leaning on her walker, held out her hand.
“I came to say goodbye, and if you’d like, I would enjoy writing to you.” Sarah squeezed her hand.
Ellen smiled. “I would love that.” She gazed off at Reefer. “Take care of each other. Love one another like there is no tomorrow.”
“We will.” She stepped away from the door. “I love him, Ellen.”
“I do too.” Ellen raised her hand in farewell.
Sarah ran back to Reefer and climbed onto the back of the bike. She waited for Reefer to pull away, but the Harley didn’t move.
He turned his head toward the house and lifted his arm in the air. “We’ll be back when the wind changes direction.”
Ellen nodded, and her lips moved. Over the sound of the bike, her words didn’t reach their ears, but Sarah knew what she said.
“Ride free, my son… Ride free.”
Biography
Romance author, Debra Kayn, is not only a writer, she’s a wife and Mom to four great kids. When she’s not staying up late dreaming of new stories to write, she enjoys riding motorcycles, gardening, playing tennis, and spending time with a fishing pole in her hands.
She lives in the beautiful Coastal Mountains of Oregon on a hobby farm. Her love of animals includes dogs, chickens, goats, rabbits, turkeys, geese, and yes…pigs. The peacefulness of a flowing creek across her property provides an excellent spot to read a book on a summer day, go swimming, and catch the ever-elusive fish.
Meeting her husband on a blind date in her teens made her a true believer in love and romance, and she can promise you that all her books will have a happily-ever-after.
Debra Kayn writes for Breathless Press and Carina Press – Harlequin’s Digital First imprint.