Revive (Storm MC #3) (26 page)

Nash had been ravaged by his grief, and my heart bled for him, for everything he’d lost.  I moved closer to him, and placed my hand on his back, gently rubbing up and down.  My touch seemed to calm him a little; enough to carry on.

“She crashed the car that day, and he died.”  He breathed a long, deep breath in, and then blew it out.  “And it’s my fuckin’ fault.”  His eyes squeezed shut, and he began sobbing.

I couldn’t control my own tears, and they fell freely, too.  My arms went around him, and he clung to me.  Heaving sobs wracked his body, and he buried his face against my chest.  I placed my hand on his head, and stroked his hair.  It was hard to see Nash like this.  He was such a powerful force; to see him devastated like this, ruined in this way, was difficult.

I had to be strong for him though.  Nash was at the point where he couldn’t take it for a second longer.  He couldn’t deal with the pain that had haunted him for the last ten years; he needed me to help him through this.

After I’d let him get his grief out, and I felt his shudders subside, I whispered, “It’s not your fault, Nash.”

He slowly lifted his head to look at me with pained eyes.  “It is, Velvet.  If I hadn’t slept with her friend, she wouldn’t have taken him that day, and they wouldn’t have crashed.”

My heart was already hurting for his loss, but now it constricted in pain at the guilt he’d been carrying with him.  Ten years was a long time to blame yourself for something that, ultimately, was out of your hands.  I wiped the tears from his face, and said, “Yes, everything you did led you all to that day, but it wasn’t
your
choice for Gabriella to take your son, and it wasn’t
your
driving that was involved in that accident.  You can’t blame yourself for the actions of other people.”

He was listening to everything I said, but I wasn’t sure if it was getting through so I tried another tack.  “Nash, think about your mother, and your family.  You guys had it hard, really fucking hard, because your father left.  He walked out and left your mother pregnant, and with no money or support.  He also left three other kids behind for her to raise on her own.  It was a long, hard road for her, and for all of you.  His leaving caused your life to be changed forever.  Was it your mother’s fault he left?”

“No!”  He seemed incensed that I would even suggest that which was exactly what I was hoping for.

“No, it wasn’t.  None of us have control over another person’s actions.  We might think we do, but when all is said and done, people will do whatever the hell they choose to do.  Regardless of the situation, and regardless of whatever events cause that situation, the only control we have is over ourselves.  If you’d had your way, Aaron would never have been in that car that day, and he would still be alive.”  I took a breath.  My heart was racing; I needed him to hear me, and understand that what I was saying was right.  “It’s time for you to stop laying the blame for this at your own feet, baby.  Your guilt is eating you alive.”

He stilled, and I knew he’d heard me.  Really heard me.  I just hoped it was enough to get him through the first hurdle.  He had a lot of work ahead of him to sort through his pain, but his first step was going to be letting go of his guilt.

His chest heaved one last time, and slowly, his breathing returned to normal.  We were on our knees, still clinging to each other.  He held on for a couple more moments before letting me go.  “I miss him.  Every day, I fuckin’ miss him.” 

I nodded.  “I know, baby.”  I reached for his hand, and held it. 

He looked down at our hands, and squeezed mine before looking back at me.  “I need you, Velvet.  I’ve never needed anyone like I need you.  If I’m gonna get through this, you have to be by my side.” 

I curled my hand around his neck, and pulled his lips to mine.  The kiss I gave him wasn’t passionate or sexy; it was a kiss full of love that told him I’d be right where he needed me.  Our lips gently tangled, and our souls joined; we would do this together.  When we pulled apart, I promised him, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, Nash.”

His relief was evident, and he murmured, “Thank fuck.”

Love’s Poster Child ~ Keith Urban

––––––––

N
ash - 2 weeks later

I leant back in my chair, and laughed at the joke Carla had just told everyone.  My arm was draped across the back of Velvet’s chair, and I moved it to her shoulders, and pulled her to me so I could plant a kiss on her forehead.

Surprise flickered across her face.  “What was that for?”

“Because I can.”

Our eyes danced with each other, and I grew hard when I saw the desire in hers.

My brother broke the trance we were in.  ‘Hey, do you two ever leave each other alone?  Cause I’ve seen you three times in the last two weeks, and you’re always all over each other.”

I grinned at him.  “Not if I can fuckin’ help it.”

He returned my grin.  “Lucky fucker,” he muttered.

I looked around the table, and counted my fucking blessings.  My family, and Velvet had all gathered to celebrate Carla’s birthday at Mum’s.  Erika, Mum and Velvet had spent the afternoon cooking while Jamison and I had taken Carla skydiving.  It was something she’d always wanted to do so we’d finally agreed to it.  Jumping out of a plane wasn’t something on my bucket list, but I had to admit, it was pretty fucking exhilarating.  It was maybe even something I would happily do again.

Mum started to clear the table, and Velvet hopped up straight away to help her.  They exchanged smiles, and I thanked the universe for giving me two women as amazing as these two.

Carla started bouncing in her chair, clapping her hands together. 

I jerked my chin at her.  “What the hell’s got you so happy, babe?”

“It’s present time, Nash!  What did you get me?”

I groaned.  My sister was all about the presents; always had been.  I pitied the poor fucker who ended up with her; if he didn’t get it right every birthday and Christmas, his life wouldn’t be worth living.  “Settle down, darlin’.  You’ll find out in a minute.”

Velvet looked at me and smiled; she’d helped me choose a present for Carla which meant this year, I was on a fucking winner.  I’d have to milk this for everything it was worth; get as much out of Carla while she was still loving me for the present.  I flicked a smile back at Velvet, and when she turned back to help Mum, I let my eyes drop to her ass.  Christ, I really was a lucky fucker; Jamison was dead on the money.

Erika jumped in and helped clear the table while Jamison and I kept Carla occupied.  When they’d finished, we all moved into the living room for present opening.  Carla was almost bursting out of her skin in excitement.

“Bloody hell, Carla.  Anyone would think you were still twelve, the way you’re going on,” Jamison grumbled.

She glared at him.  “There’s nothing wrong with showing your happiness, Jamison.”

I stepped in before these two started a fight.  Passing my present to her, I said, “Happy birthday, babe.  You’re gonna fuckin’ love this present.”

Her excitement levels skyrocketed.  “Really?” she asked, as she started ripping into the wrapping paper.

A second later, her entire face lit up, and the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face took over.  “Oh my God!  I love it!” she squealed.

I curled an arm around Velvet’s shoulders and pulled her close, murmuring in her ear, “Remind me to show you my appreciation later on, yeah?”

She blasted her sexy smile at me, and breathed into my ear, “Don’t you worry, baby, I’ll be reminding you for a long time.”

“What did he get you?” Erika asked.

Carla, still beaming, held it up.  “It’s a GHD Air hairdryer.”

Jamison frowned.  “A G-what?”

I nodded at him.  “Exactly, brother.  All you need to know is that it’s a fuckin’ expensive hairdryer that’s guaranteed to make all the women in your life love you if you give them one.”

Carla grinned and pointed at me.  “What he said.”

Jamison groaned.  “Fuck, your present should have gone last, Nash.  I’ve got no hope now.”

Eyeing Velvet, I murmured, “There’s some serious Nash loving in this for you, sweet thing.”

Her hand moved to my leg.  “I’m counting on it, baby.”

***

T
he next morning, Velvet was running around like a mad woman.  She had her final exam for her beauty course today, and was worried about passing. 

I walked into the kitchen where she was studying her notes.  Moving behind her, I snaked my arm around her waist and leant my chin on her shoulder.  I tried not to let her tits distract me, but a man can only achieve so much, and a second later my eyes were glued to her chest.

She reached a hand back and ran it through my hair.  “Nash, stop looking at my boobs, and finish getting ready.  You’re dropping me off this morning and I don’t want to be late.”

“How do you know I was looking at your boobs, sweet thing?” I asked, without taking my eyes off them.  My addiction to her tits was getting out of hand, but I was helpless to control it.

She sighed, and the rise and fall of her chest only turned me on more.  “I know what you’re looking at because you’re always looking at the same thing.”

“Any man in their right mind would be doing the exact same thing as I am right now.”  I straightened, and turned her in my arms so I could see her face.  “Talking of men looking at you, did you talk to Scott about finishing up at Indigo?”

“Yeah, my last shift is next week.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank Christ for that, babe.  I can’t take much more of those assholes leering at you.”

She reached up and cupped my cheek.  “I know, baby, but it’s not much longer now.”

“And then you’re starting at Roxie’s?”

Her eyes lit up; I knew she was looking forward to this.  “Yes, on the Monday after I finish at Indigo, so it’s all worked out really well.  She’s set a room up for me to rent off her, and she’s got ladies booked in already.”

I loved seeing her happy.  I brushed a kiss over her lips, and murmured, “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”

Nodding, she asked me, “Have you thought anymore about going to see Gabriella?”

Velvet and my family all thought I needed to go and talk to Gabriella, for closure or some fucking thing.  I wasn’t so sure, and was stalling on it.  “Babe, it’s only been two weeks since I last saw her.  I’m still fuckin’ angry at her, and that’s not gonna go away anytime soon.  Let me get through this shit in my head, deal with that first, and then I’ll think about going to see her.”

“Okay.  You’re probably right.  At least you’ll consider it; that’s all I really wanted you to do at this point.”

I pulled her to me.  “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“Why?  What do you mean?” 

“I mean, you don’t fuckin’ nag me, you don’t bitch about shit to me, you haven’t tried to change me, and you cope with my addiction to your tits and pussy.  How did I get that lucky, woman?”

She grinned.  “Oh, there’s still time, baby.  I can do all that stuff if you want.”

I grinned back at her.  Two could play this game.  “Okay, how about we work on curbing my addiction first?  Get that one out of the way before you start in on the nagging and bitching.”

She pulled my face down to hers.  “I’ll make you a deal, Nash Walker.  You keep that addiction for the rest of your life, and I promise not to start with the nagging and bitching.”

“Done,” I agreed, and smacked her on the ass.  “Now, get your shit together, and let’s get you to your exam.”

***

A
fter I dropped Velvet off at her exam, I headed to the clubhouse.  The last two weeks since Kick left had been tense.  Marcus was rounding his troops up so to speak, making all sorts of promises to the boys who agreed to Storm moving back into drugs.  There were only a handful of us left who were against it, and if he called for a vote, we’d be outnumbered.

From the moment I entered the clubhouse, I knew something was off.  And when I found Scott in the bar area, he confirmed it.  “Dad’s gonna make his move in the next couple of days, brother.”

I sat at the table with him.  He was in the corner by himself, with his morning coffee.  I drowned out the noise of the other guys talking and laughing, and gave Scott my full attention.  “Who told you that?”

“Wilder.  Dad’s taken a liking to him, and is using him for all sorts of shit.”

I liked Wilder, even after my run in with him, but I was wondering what was in it for him to be playing both sides.  “Can we trust Wilder?  Why’s he giving you that information?”

Scott leaned forward so he could drop his voice.  “You remember how Wilder became a prospect?”

I searched my memory, but came up with nothing.  “No.”

“I brought him in.  And I did it intentionally.  It was after I found out about Dad.  I had a gut feeling that shit was going to go south, and then I met Wilder.  He’d been screwed over by Dad, and was looking for payback.  I figured it would be useful to us to have a member I could be sure of if shit ever hit the fan, so I sponsored him.”

“Fuck, it could have gone the other way; could have backfired on you.”

He nodded.  “Yeah, brother, it could have.  I was willing to take that risk though, and I’m glad I fucking did.  Wilder’s proved himself, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be patched soon.”

“Any news on Blue?”

“No, still coming up empty on that one.  You heard anything from Kick?”

“They’re convinced Marcus is their man, but because of his ties to Adelaide and some of the other chapters, are reluctant to move without proof.  Marcus has been busy making friends; seems he’s got allies everywhere.”

“Fuck,” Scott muttered. 

“How the hell did he screw Wilder over?” I asked.

“He - ” he began, but stopped talking because Marcus was headed straight for us.

“Nash, Scott,” he greeted us, clearly not pleased to see us.

“Marcus,” I said, jerking my chin at him, but Scott didn’t say a word.

He scowled at Scott before saying, “Church tomorrow.  Don’t be late.  We’ve got a lot of shit to discuss.”

I nodded, and he left, as quickly as he came.  Mind you, it couldn’t be soon enough as far as I was concerned.  Giving my attention back to Scott, I shared my thoughts.  “Not looking forward to tomorrow, brother.  Christ knows what surprises he’s got in store for us.”