Revenant (17 page)

“And you’re a princess,” he says. “I get it. I heard you the first time, in my cell, when I was waiting to die. I know what you told me. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” He’s not emotional, in fact he’s more calm and convincing than I am. “But times change, Charlie. Your race has gone through a huge shift, thanks to Syd. At least from what you told me. You’ve gained your freedom. And that freedom should come with the chance to do things differently, to assess every opportunity, every following change, with fresh eyes.” How very reasonable. He should have been a lawyer, a diplomat. What a wereking he would make.

Stop it, Charlotte.

“You need a lesson in werelaw,” I say, a soft shake in my voice. “Also my fault.” I draw a breath. “No werewolf shall ever make another through their bite. Such an act will mean the instant death of the were who bit the human and the execution of the revenant upon first manifestation of infection. Without fail, without mercy, that is the law.” And has been since we were made.

He wrings his hands, showing distress, though his face remains calm. “I’m so foreign to all this, but I do know one thing. I love you. I will die for you, or live outside pack law if that’s what I need to do. But if I’m not going to turn into a monster, if I’m some new creature outside your expectations, I want to explore that. Figure out what being the new me means.” He pauses. “I know you think I might shift and implode or something at any point. But, Charlotte, I feel amazing. I’ve never felt so strong, so stable in my entire life.” He drops his hands. “I’ve spent most of my life learning to fight so I’ll never have to, looking for a way to feel powerful.” Sage looks away, at the ocean. “You’re not the only one with a dark past.” When he meets my eyes again, his are full of wonder. “This wolf inside, growing with me, is changing me. For the better. I just know it.”

Misery wars with need and hunger for him. “Sage.”

He cuts me off with the wave of one hand. “Please, listen. I’m not going to give up on us. As long as I’m here, inside here,” he taps his chest, “and the wolf lets me, I’m going to hang onto the hope you and I can be together forever, the way I’ve always wanted. I promise, if you want that, too, nothing is going to keep me from you.”

How can I hurt him after he’s bared his soul to me? But I can’t allow him to carry false hope. No more than I can. I’m here to save his life, but that’s it. That’s all it can be. I tremble inside, knowing I’m lying to myself, that I want to embrace what he’s offered me, more than anything, my mind whirling with ways I can say yes. I could spend the rest of my life hiding with him, create our own little pack, staying under the radar. It would mean sacrifice for him, for his family…

His family.

Which is why I prepare to say no.

“Even if,” I say, “you prove to be a perfect revenant, a new werewolf in full control of his power, and even if,” I stress those words for the second time, “the werenation lets you live, no matter how this turns out, we will never be permitted to mate, to be together, to create offspring. Our people’s freedom is just too young.” Far too young. So much fear still exists. Oleksander is proof of that. “You will be a pariah, segregated from the pack, a lone wolf on your own. Do you understand what that means?”

He nods. “I do.”

“No,” I snarl. “You don’t. Werewolves are pack creatures, Sage. We need each other.” Memories of childhood, of loneliness and loss, haunt me. How the Dumonts separated me from the others, kept me out of touch with my little pack. The way it burned in the back of my mind, drove me almost to the brink of insanity, as bad as the physical torture Andre inflicted. “A cure is a better choice. So you can live out your life as a human.”

Sage’s calm hasn’t shifted, though cold bitterness joins it now. “You’d let that happen to me.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “I would have no choice,” I say. “I’m the heir to the throne of the werenation. My people’s needs come before my own.” I turn my back on him, hugging myself, hating myself. “I’ve already broken so many of our laws, turned away from my people in an effort to save you. Were I to go against pack will and try to integrate you, it would cause such a rift in my people I don’t know what the result would be.” I spin on him, putting all of my pain and fear and love in my eyes. “Please understand, I love you, Sage. But they are my people and I must put them first.”

If I ever get a chance. I’ve been thinking all along Oleksander will ensure I am chained to the throne after this. But there’s a distinct possibility he will be forced to rule against me instead. The outcome could be much more permanent. Sage may yet survive, while I could be tried and killed for betraying my people and never sit on the throne of the werenation. Even if he is cleared, there is a chance my life will either be over, or I will be enslaved, mated to the were of the people’s choice, for the express purpose of producing offspring for the throne.

Sage doesn’t need to hear that now. I’m done arguing with him. He will be safe and human or protected from the pack and a werewolf, but those are his only two options. End of story.

Why can’t he understand that?

I leave him there on the deck, going back inside, heart breaking. Maybe we could run away, be fugitives forever. But I can’t bring myself to fully turn away from my people, not when threats like Rupe and Caine hover over what we’ve struggled to build.

The room is empty, all but for Tallah. She waits for me with sad eyes, reaches out to me. I go to her, hug her as she whispers in my ear. “It’s not easy being a leader.”

I pull away, wiping at a tear that managed to escape. “Syd taught me nothing is impossible,” I say. “But sometimes it really feels like she’s wrong.”

“Trust her,” Tallah says with a smile. “You know none of us will ever let anything happen to you. Not if you let us help.” She hesitates. “I know your people are tied to their laws. And how hard it is to change those laws. But you have powerful leaders on your side. Is it possible something could be done?”

Not her, too. “I wish,” I say.

She shrugs, sorrow on her beautiful face. “You would know better than I,” she says. “But it seems to me part of being a leader is showing your people the future is now, and that change is a good thing that will bring them prosperity.”

My heart skips. “Maybe if I hadn’t betrayed them by running off with Sage.”

“Or,” she says, drawing out the word with a twinkle in her eye, “you instead departed, as was your duty, to investigate Caine and his people, using the revenant as a guide to their home base, thus uncovering a sorcerer plot to again enslave your people, and saving them all from a terrible fate.”

It’s impossible not to laugh. “A nice story,” I say.

“One with merit.” She grips my arms in her hands, staring me down with her dark eyes. “Charlotte, I know the world looks black and white sometimes. But shades of gray go a long way to nudging life into the path you want it to go.”

I kiss her cheek as a light bulb goes off. She’s totally right. I’ve been thinking in terms of a soldier, one who has gone against her orders, not as a princess with responsibilities to her people. Well, they have a responsibility to me, too. And I’m doing what I’m doing, not just for Sage, but to make sure the werenation is safe.

At least, I am, now. And with someone like Tallah to speak on my behalf… this could work. And maybe, just maybe, I can have my throne and the man I love, too.

 “Thank you, Tallah.” She smiles, hugs me hard. Stranger things have come about in my life since I met Sydlynn Hayle. Who is to say the werenation will turn Sage away if we’re able to clear his name, prove he’s not a revenant but the next evolution of our kind? I know better than to hope, but I will not write him off.

I love him too much, and this strategy of Tallah’s has given me a bright spot to focus on, not just about Sage, but for my entire race. I will drag them into the future. And I’ll use diplomacy and shades of gray to do it.

I turn around, heading back outside. Poor Sage, why did I do this to him? Because I wasn’t thinking as a ruler, but as someone to be ruled. Time to change that, to truly be Sharlotta. Charlotte is a warrior, bred to serve. No more.

My destiny is my own, tied to my people or not.

Instead of finding my love where I left him, I almost run into Piers as I stride out onto the deck and into the sunshine. He catches me, grinning still, eyes guarded.

“You okay?” He lets me go after an impulsive hug, hands in the pockets of his jeans, angular face frozen in his grin. I can feel his pain oozing from him, but I have no idea how to soften the blow.

“No,” I say. “I have to find Sage. And apologize.” For being small minded and short sighted. I have so much to learn.

Piers catches my arm, holds me back a moment. I watch him swallow, see the pain transform into acceptance before he bends and kisses my cheek. “We would have been amazing together.”

I shrug. “I’m sorry, Piers.”

But he’s already pulling away, grinning again, though this time, his eyes sparkle with amusement. “I’m not,” he says. “That’s two bullets I think I dodged. You and Syd, too much to handle, the pair of you.”

My fingers brush his cheek. “Whoever wins you at last,” I say, “she’ll be a lucky woman.”

Piers looks away, off over the water, eyes near transparent from the bright sun. “She’s out there, somewhere,” he says, wistful, sad, before turning back to me with a smirk. “For now, we have another job to do. Find a way for you and wolf boy to be together.” He rolls his eyes. “If that’s what you really want.”

I laugh, hug him hard. “Thank you, Piers.”

“You’re welcome.” He lets me go, turns me toward the sand and the beach. “He went that-a-way.”

I leave Piers there, hurry down the steps and trot down the beach, eyes searching the sand for the dark figure of Sage ahead. Maybe we can make this work. We are different, all of us, the werewolves. Syd will think of something or Piers with his clever mind. Tallah with her diplomacy and me, the new me, unwilling to take no for an answer from my obstinate race. My grandfather will soften when he sees Sage is not a typical revenant.

I’ll make it happen. A grin breaks over my face. I will make it happen.

I’m so wrapped up in my growing hope and happiness it’s several minutes before I realize there’s no one down this stretch of beach. Did I go the wrong way? Another quarter hour of searching and fear has replaced my newfound determination.

Tallah and Piers join my worried hunt, but it’s clear an hour later, the worst has occurred.

Whether by choice or by force, Sage is gone.

***

I hover next to Tallah who gives telepathic orders to her coven while my heart stretches out toward Sage. I can’t reach him with my power, and I don’t dare push too hard. I refuse to bring the Enforcers down on the Hensley coven after Tallah and her people have done so much for me. They are no longer disposable, but almost as dear as the Hayles.

Funny how things change when you see shades of gray.

Tallah turns to me in full leader mode. “You can’t find him?”

I shake my head, lower lip trembling despite my attempt to control my emotions. “He’s nowhere,” I say, my voice cracking with strain.

Tallah hugs me with one arm, her energy joining mine, lending me strength. “We’ll find him.”

“We have to,” I say. “He could change at any moment and without me there…” He could turn into a monster after all. Though I don’t believe that of him anymore, who knows what he’s becoming?

“The entire coven is out looking for him,” she says, nodding to Piers who steps out of a black tunnel, concern on his face. “Time you two joined them.”

I hug her and run after my sorcerer friend who has just dropped off some witches in the search grid Tallah has designed. He pauses on the deck, offering his hand, opening a new dark way. “I haven’t felt a trace of other sorcery,” he says. “So I don’t think he’s been taken, at least not through power.”

“That means he left on his own.” I want to sob. What have I done to him? I broke his heart, and without exploring all avenues. I’m as bad as my grandfather.

“Maybe.” Piers gestures at the opening. “Or they took him through physical means. No matter the reason, we’ll find him. After you.”

The darkness embraces me, and I hug it back for once. It draws out my emotions as well as pulling at my power and by the time Piers and I emerge into a small alley off a Los Angeles street, I’m feeling more calm, level.

It’s almost dark again. Last day. Sage could shift at any moment. The sun sets over the ocean as Piers and I gain our bearings. I reach for Sage’s mind again. If he’s in the city, if he’s made it this far, I might be able to locate him just by proximity.

My mind reaches—and encounters darkness.

Piers spins at the same moment, turning me with him, his power roaring out below us in black flames. I feel my body tighten in response, the wolf in me wanting to surface, but I hold her back at the sight of the two young people watching us.

The guy is tall, almost as tall as Piers, with close-cropped, dirty blond hair and tanned skin. He glares like we’re the enemy, though he doesn’t move to attack. The girl, on the other hand, gapes at us, a silver lighter raised before her in one slim hand, her huge amber eyes, reminding me of a demon, staring like she’s seen a ghost.

“Piers Southway,” my sorcerer friend introduces himself. “Charlotte Girard. You’re Steam Union?”

The guy flinches, nudges the girl. “Not a chance,” he snarls. “Get us out of here.”

She twitches, looks up at him, as though only then noticing he’s there. “Kayden?”

He pushes her firmly, her hand convulsing around the lighter even as black flames of his own lick across the ground toward us. But I can see and feel he’s no match for Piers, not by a long shot, and the girl is still too rattled to be of help.

“We won’t hurt you,” I say. “We’re looking for someone. A friend. He’s in danger and we need to find him.”

The girl is still shaken, but she seems to be coming back to herself. “What friend?”

I open my mouth to speak but the guy next to her, Kayden, reaches out and tries to take her lighter. “Now, Zoe!”