That took longer than she’d expected. Her father wouldn’t bankroll her. He wanted her to go to college first so she would have something to fall back on if the singing career didn’t pan out. His lack of faith angered her. Every stubborn bone in her body rose up in defiance. She refused to go to college.
But he was right, and I was wrong,
she thought as she walked
toward the nearest store entrance. Most women her age had careers or families or both.
I have nothing
.
Roxy pulled open the tinted glass door and stepped into Burke’s vast shoe department. A smile crept onto her lips. She loved shoes. All kinds of shoes, but most of all boots with killer heels. At one time, the closet of her upscale Nashville apartment had been full of them. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth.
As she moved through the floor displays, she trailed her fin- gertips over shoes on the display tables, remembering better times, times when she bought whatever caught her fancy, times when
store clerks trailed in her wake like ducklings paddling behind their mama, eager to be of assistance.
“May I help you?”
Roxy stopped and looked at the pretty salesclerk, a girl of about twenty or so with silky blond hair and large blue eyes. Good grief. Had Roxy ever looked as fresh and innocent as the girl who stood before her? She thought not. “No, thanks. I’m just browsing.”
“Okay. Let me know if you want to try anything on.” “I will. Thanks.”
The blond walked away, in search of another customer. Some- one who looked like they had money to spend, no doubt.
=
Elena sat in the boarding area at the San Diego International Air- port, awaiting her flight. The latest issue of
People
lay open on her lap, unread. Weariness pressed down on her shoulders like a heavy coat.
Yesterday was as bad as she feared it would be. The store man- ager didn’t take his termination well. Elena thought for a while she might have to summon store security to evict him from the building.
However, it wasn’t the situation at the San Diego store that troubled her. It was thoughts of Roxy. Roxy and Wyatt. If Roxy hadn’t gone to Nashville in search of fame and fortune, Wyatt wouldn’t have seen Elena as anything more than a friend. He’d loved Roxy. It took several years for his heart to mend, but Elena was there, waiting, patient and understanding, loving him secretly in her heart, praying he would one day love her in return.
Now Roxy was home again. Was Wyatt glad?
With the pads of her index and middle fingers, she massaged her temples, willing the nagging headache to go away.
Her mobile phone rang, and she plucked it from the pocket on the side of her briefcase, flipping it open without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”
“How’s it going, honey?” Wyatt’s voice was deep and warm. Elena’s heart leapt.
“Are you at the airport yet?”
“Yes. I’m in the boarding area now.” She hadn’t expected to talk to him before she got home. “I thought you were in a deposi- tion all day.”
“I was supposed to be, but it got postponed until next week. So I thought I’d call my best girl.”
Am I your best girl, Wyatt? Will I always be?
“I’m missing you. I don’t like it when you’re gone.” She closed her eyes. “I miss you too.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up at the airport so we can drive to your dad’s together?”
“I’m sure. My car’s in the parking garage, and if you pick me up, we’d just have to go back for it later. There’s no sense in that.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“I know.” And she
did
know. Wyatt never minded doing for others. He had a servant’s heart. It was second nature to him. That was one reason he would make a wonderful pastor. “Thanks for offering, but I’ll meet you at Dad’s. If the flight’s on time, I should be at his house by six thirty.”
“Okay. I’ll be praying for a safe flight and luggage that arrives when you do.”
She smiled, feeling better. “Amen.” “Love you.”
“Love you back. See you at Dad’s.”
As Elena slipped the phone into its pocket, she said a silent prayer of thanksgiving and asked God to quiet the voices of doubt.
R
OXY
May 1984
Roxy sat under the school bleachers, hidden in shadows, hugging knees to chest, face pressed against her cotton skirt. The tears had long since dried on her cheeks, but every so often, a sob escaped her throat and her body shuddered.
Parents and children — along with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends — had dispersed from the gymnasium after the close of the annual elementary school program. It was during the chaos of departures that Roxy slipped away from her dad and Grandma Ruth to hide under the bleachers. She’d held back the tears the whole time they watched Elena and the other sixth grad- ers performing, but finally she had to cry, and this was where she came to do it.
“What’re you doing under there, Roxy?” Elena had found her. “Nothin’.”
“What’s wrong?”
Sob. Shudder. “Nothin’.” “Didn’t you like my piano solo?” “’Course I liked it.”
“That’s good.” She motioned for Roxy to come out. “Dad and Grandma are ready to go home.”
“Elena, are we orphans?”
Her sister sat on the gym floor and scooted toward her. “’Course not. We’ve got a dad. Orphans don’t have a mom
or
a dad.”
“Tiffany Smith says I’m gonna be an orphan next year when you go off to junior high.” Sob. Shudder.
“Tiffany Smith doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s stupid.”
Roxy swiped her forearm beneath her nose. “I know. That’s what I told her.”
“Well, you can tell her something else. You tell her that if she picks on you, I’ll come back and give her what for. Nobody picks on my little sister.” She put her arm around Roxy and in a teasing voice added, “Nobody except me, that is. Right?”
“Right.”
She leaned her head against Elena’s shoulder, listening as the two of them breathed in unison. Inhale . . . exhale. Inhale . . . exhale . . .
“Elena?”
“Hmm.”
“I miss Mama.” “Me too.”
“Do you remember how good she used to smell?” “Like sugar cookies baking in the oven.”
Roxy smiled. “Yeah. I miss that.” “Me too.”
“Why did God take her and the baby to heaven? Didn’t He know we needed her here?”
“I don’t know.”
“He shouldn’t have done that, Elena. It makes us sad, not hav- ing her with us. God didn’t need her in heaven.”
“Grandma Ruth says for everything there’s a purpose.”
Roxy didn’t understand what that meant. It didn’t matter any- way. It wasn’t gonna make her feel better, and it wasn’t gonna make her miss her mama any less.
And orphan or not, she
would
be alone when Elena went to a
different school. Roxy didn’t want to be alone. It scared her.
N ine
Roxy took extra care with her makeup and clothes that evening. She hoped concealer would disguise the circles that smudged the skin beneath her eyes. Thankfully, two nights of good sleep had minimized the effect.
There wasn’t much she could do about her weight, but another week or two of Fortuna’s cooking and being too thin would no longer be a concern. In fact, if she wasn’t careful about the way she ate, she might find herself on a diet in a month.
As she descended the stairs, she heard her father singing and followed the soft sound to the dining room. Jonathan Burke stood at the head of the table, surveying the place settings — fine china, crystal stemware, silver table service, candlesticks. The table was set for a party, a celebration of Roxy’s return.
Why did Dad and Fortuna make such a fuss? Didn’t they understand she came back out of desperation? Didn’t they know she had nowhere else to go? She didn’t deserve a party. What she deserved was disdain and rejection.
“There you are.” Her father grinned. “You look nice. Is the dress new?”
She nodded. “I bought it today.” She returned his smile. “At Burke’s, of course.”
He laughed. “Smart girl.” “Can I help with anything?”
“I think Fortuna has it under control. You know how she is. The kitchen is her domain. Enter at your own risk.” He chuckled.
Roxy nodded. She remembered well. Even Grandma Ruth had honored Fortuna’s proprietary grip on the Burke kitchen.
“As soon as Elena and Wyatt get here, we can sit down to din- ner.” Her father glanced at his watch. “They should arrive any minute.”
Elena and Wyatt. Not for the first time since hearing the news, Roxy wondered about their engagement. The two of them as a couple seemed . . . odd. Wyatt, the misfit, and Elena, the good girl. Roxy couldn’t imagine her old boyfriend being with her sister as he’d once been with her.
A flush rose in her cheeks. It would be better if she didn’t remember that part of her past. Much better. Wyatt would soon be her brother-in-law. How awkward would
that
be?
Bad. It’s going to be bad.
“Care for a soda, Roxy?”
“Sure. I’ll get it.” Glad for the distraction, she headed for the bar at the far end of the dining room. “What would you like, Dad?” Her father didn’t allow liquor in his house, but he had a nice setup for entertaining. The minifridge was kept well stocked with soft drinks and bottled water.
“A Diet Coke. Thanks, hon.”
Roxy plunked ice cubes into heavy tumblers, then popped open two cans of cola. The carbonated beverage fizzed and snapped as she poured it over the ice.
“Dad!” Elena’s voice carried to them from the front of the house. “We’re here.”
“We’re in the dining room. Come on back.” He looked toward Roxy, his eyes filled with pleasure. “They’re here.”
That her father loved both of his daughters was never a ques- tion in Roxy’s mind. Still, she had always been aware how easily her sister pleased him. Elena was the first to finish her homework and did her chores without coaxing. Elena “got saved” when she was
thirteen, bringing joy to their dad and grandmother. Elena never broke the rules, never pushed a boundary.
Roxy, on the other hand, was a screwup, a constant source of concern for her dad. School seemed a waste of time, something to get through so she could get on with her life. Church? Well, it had to be tolerated.
“Hey, Dad.” Elena appeared in the dining room doorway. Without looking toward the bar — although Roxy was sure her sister knew where she stood — Elena gave her father a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. Only after that did she look toward the opposite end of the room.
Roxy drew a shaky breath. “Hi, Elena.”
Her sister walked toward her, stopping on the other side of the bar, not saying a word.
After a lengthy silence, Roxy released a nervous laugh. “I prom- ise, it’s me. A little older, a little thinner, but it’s me.”
Elena offered a slight smile. “I’m glad you’re back.” She motioned behind her. “All of us are.”
Was that true? She didn’t sound glad. And to Roxy’s surprise, Elena’s cool tone and reserved smile hurt as much as a slap across the face.
She shifted her eyes beyond her sister and saw Wyatt walking toward them. When he arrived, he took Elena’s hand.
“You look a little more rested than you did when you got here.
And Elena’s right. We’re glad you’ve come home.”
“Thanks.” Roxy didn’t know what to do or say next. She felt like a stranger from another planet. She knew these two, and yet she didn’t know them. They looked the same, and yet they were different.
I don’t belong here. I’m an outsider.
She pointed at the tumblers of soda on the counter. “Can I get either of you something while I’m back here?”
“I’ll get it,” Wyatt answered. “You need to sit down with Elena and do some catching up.” He stepped around the end of the bar.
With him there, the area seemed crowded.
Roxy had forgotten how tall he was, how small she felt when standing next to him. If only she could forget the other things. Things that still came back to her, even after all these years.
Things far better forgotten now that he was to marry her sister.
=
Before Elena arrived at her father’s home, a hundred questions for Roxy had swirled in her head. But when she saw her sister, the ques- tions were silenced. She understood what Wyatt said two nights before:
I’m worried about Roxy . . . She looks lost, beaten . . .
Regret gripped Elena’s heart as she looked at her little sister. Regret that the funny, carefree girl had vanished. Regret that the friendship they once shared was gone. Regret that she’d failed to keep her promise to her mother.
She’d tried. She’d done her best. But her best was never good enough when it came to Roxy.
Elena remembered the summer night she caught seventeen- year-old Roxy crawling in through her bedroom window, reeking of cigarette smoke and whiskey.
“Are you
crazy?
What if something happened to you?”
“You worry too much, Elena. I’m okay. I was with Wyatt. We went to a bar to hear a new band.”
“How’d you get into a bar?”
Roxy rolled her eyes. “Duh! Didn’t you ever hear of fake IDs?”
Elena had wanted to throttle her at the same time she wanted to hug her.
Rather like tonight.
She looked at Roxy’s face. The shadows in her features made Elena’s heart ache. Her little sister had seen the dark side of humanity — seen it and been wounded by it. If only she could take Roxy in her arms and say, “It’ll be all right.” But she was afraid if she touched her sister, she’d push her away and say, “It serves you right.”
Wyatt broke the silence. “Roxy, what are you going to do with yourself now that you’re back?”
Elena set her fork on her plate, her appetite gone.
“I’m not sure. Dad said I could work at Burke’s corporate offices.”
“Really?” Elena glanced toward their dad. “Doing what?” “Whatever he wants me to do, I guess.”
How like Roxy to turn things to her benefit. “I didn’t think you were interested in working for the family firm.” She tried to make her voice light, but inside, she felt brittle.
“I wasn’t.” Roxy lowered her gaze to her plate. “But things’ve changed.”