Resisting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (11 page)

“Are you happy?” Decker asks as I walk back into main room.

“I don’t want to hear it, Decker.”

“You know we wouldn’t do that to you, Fent. As much as you want to deny it, you are one of us and we protect what’s ours.”

“I am not one of you! I have never been one of you! I was a kid and you damn well know it! I didn’t want to do any of that shit. I was lured here with the promise of a better life. When you’re a broken kid, those are words you need to hear. It doesn’t matter who they’re from. Then I was given the ultimatum to kill or be killed, what was I supposed to do?” Heat rises through me and my heart is pounding in my temples. It’s been a long time since I had this murderous feeling. I fucking hate it. It makes me sick to know these feelings can still consume me.

“But you were so good at it. The passion in your eyes, the electricity that literally radiated from you was real, Fent. I know that feeling well and the pride that surged through me was momentous. You and I are a lot alike, you were like my younger brother and you made me so proud.”

“I don’t give a shit how good I was because that part of my life is over. I have something to live for and I will make sure she stays safe.”

Shit, I shouldn’t have admitted that.

“Rule number one brother…”

“I know the rules. Listen, I’m only going to tell you one time,” I say, standing as tall as him. “I’m sure you already have her on your radar but if you so much as hurt a hair on her head, I will not think twice about putting a bullet through your skull. And I will make sure you are full of agony and regret before that happens.”

“I would expect nothing less of you brother,” he counters, nonchalantly. “I have to say, I have missed your feisty ass. Geno hasn’t given me a competent partner since you left.”

“Just remember what I said.” He smirks and gives me a two finger salute.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Chapter Seven

Piper

It’s strange how your sub-conscious reminds you of things you weren’t supposed to forget. As I’m pumping gas, I remember I’m supposed to meet Fenton at seven tonight. Although he didn’t say a word about it earlier, I bet it’s for the same reasons he already explained. I need to send him a quick text just in case he is expecting me.

Piper: I know you only want me for my body but I need to take a few days off. I’m heading to my dad’s for some time to think, so I won’t be able to meet you tonight. I will call you when I return.

I throw the phone back in my purse and pull out of the gas station, effectively leaving my problems behind. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home. Just the thought of being there without my mother there breaks my heart. I know it is completely selfish that I haven’t been to visit my father but it’s the same with him. I dread seeing him without my mother. Even though he seems to be handling it well now, he didn’t when she first passed. He threw himself in his work, not looking back or remembering he had two daughters.

He and my mother were high school sweethearts and more than that, my father never even had a girlfriend before my mother. She is all he knew, all he ever loved and when she was stolen from him, he was devastated. He wouldn’t talk about her and he removed all of her photos from the walls. He wouldn’t even go to the cemetery on her birthday with Phoebe and me. He tried to make us believe he was ok but I watched the bags form under his eyes from lack of sleep. I watched him slim down because he couldn’t eat. He thought we wouldn’t notice and maybe Phoebe didn’t, but I did.

My dad has been my hero my whole life, I notice when things like that happen to him. That is a main reason I couldn’t go home for a long time. I didn’t have to hurt for him physically if I was only hearing his voice. It was easier to believe he was getting over it when I didn’t have to watch him going down-hill.

Before my graduation, I hadn’t seen him in two years. But I’ll admit, the last couple times he’s been here, he looked great. I know he hasn’t forgot about my mother but I believe he’s finally told himself it’s ok to live his life, that he doesn’t have to feel guilty for still being here without her.

I decide to pull off the interstate when my bladder begins screaming at me. I step out of the car and stretch, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I’m only about half way and I’m beginning to regret not leaving this morning. I’m driving right into the night and since it’s been so long since I have been here, it would have been nice to have daylight to guide my way. Oh well, I’m going to have to put on my big girls panties and figure it out.

After grabbing a drink and the bathroom, I grab my phone to check for any messages and am surprised to find it full from Fenton; tons of texts and missed calls. Rather than go through all of them and waste time, I call him.

“Piper, where are you?” he says as soon as he answers.

“Hello to you to,” I chuckle.

“Are you ok?”

He sounds awful worried. Entertaining the idea of playing on his emotions, I decide this isn’t the time.

“Yes, are you?” I’m confused at his worry. I sent him a message so this wouldn’t happen.

“You said you couldn’t meet with me tonight, what were you talking about?” Ok, is he serious?

“What? Don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.”

“I don’t, please enlighten me.” He’s just being aggravating now.

“You left me a note on my car this morning asking me to meet you at the dock tonight at seven.” I wait for him to respond and am confused when he doesn’t. “What’s going on, Fent?”

“I didn’t leave you a note, Piper,” his voice is low, I almost can’t hear him.

“Quit playing, of course you did.”

“Where are you?”

“I…uh…I’m not sure exactly. I’m in Ohio just after the big blue arch, so somewhere around Greenville, maybe?”

“Have you stopped anywhere?”

“Yes, twice. What are you getting at?” I am beginning to worry.

“I don’t want to alarm you but have you noticed anyone following you?”

“No, but I haven’t been watching for anyone, either. Damn it, Fenton, you’re scaring me.”

“I don’t want to scare you, baby, but I need you to be aware of your surroundings. If anything looks out of place or if it just makes you leery, you call the police and then you call me. Can you do that?”

“Of course, Fenton, but is this situation that dire? That someone would follow me to my father’s home, a state away?”

“Yes,” he states, without hesitation.

Curiosity gets the best of me and my eyes travel to the rearview. The reflection shows a couple of cars behind me; how long they have been behind me, I have no idea.

“I will keep my eyes open but what about you? How much danger are you in? Maybe I should turn around and come home.” The pounding in my chest grows faster as I think of what could happen to him. The danger seems to be growing day by day. “Fenton, I know you said we are safer apart but I want to be next you helping in the hunt.”

“There is nothing I want more than for you to be here with me, Sweet Piper. I crave your soft skin and those beautiful eyes. I go to sleep every night and wake up every morning thinking about you but I believe that your decision to leave is for the best right now. You don’t necessarily have to stay in the house but I want you to be aware of your surroundings and please don’t go anywhere by yourself. That is non-negotiable, Piper. I mean it!”

“I understand, Fenton. I hadn’t planned to do much of anything except relax. Although, I don’t know how much relaxing I will be able to do now that I have to worry about you.”

“I’m sorry, Piper. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“I know, Fent. I’m not blaming you. I just want all of this to be over so we can get back to normal.”

“What is normal for us, Piper?”

The question lingers between us and I realize I’m not sure how to answer. Of course I want us to be together but it’s just something we’ll have to work on.

“How about we take one step at a time? Let’s find who is making all of our lives hell then we will figure that out.”

“We’ll go with that for now. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Even though his voice is steady, the nervousness I feel in anticipation is killing me.

“Are you ok? At first, your message was upbeat then it turned somber. I’m not really sure how you’re feeling.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel either. The whole reason for my trip is to find myself. The situation with you and now Shane, I just don’t think I can be rational at home.”

“Wait, what do you mean Shane? Isn’t he in jail?” Damn it! I probably should have left Shane’s name out of it. Fent’s raising octave level tells me he isn’t very happy with that information.

“Well, apparently he got out yesterday. Or a few days ago, I’m not really sure. Listen, he isn’t going to be an issue. I warned him he has to straighten himself up before we can be on the level we used to be. But Fent, while I was speaking to him about it, it got me wondering about our relationship. If I am not going to allow myself to be around Shane for his unreasonable behavior, why do I allow myself to be around you when you are doing some of the same things he is? Before you are defensive, I know you have never been physical with me…wait, I mean…you know what I mean. What I am trying to say is I am confused, Fenton. You and I have a completely different relationship than Shane and I and I need to figure out how I can balance both of you. Fenton, I have never had a relationship like the one that you and I share.” I have to take a deep breath before I add the next part because I am absolutely certain he won’t let me forget it. “There isn’t a minute in the day I don’t crave your touch. The way you make me feel, the way you make my body react, I don’t know how to handle it. I only know I need you like I have never needed anyone before and it scares the hell out of me.” I’m utterly scared at what his reaction may be that when he doesn’t react, I am a little confused. “Are you there?” I ask, pulling the phone away to make sure we are still connected.

“I’m here, Piper. I can’t say I’m not a little upset you’re telling me this while you’re heading away from me and I can’t show you how I feel about what you just said.”

“Fent, I’m…”

“It’s ok,” he interrupts before adding, “find yourself. Take as much time as you need. I’m actually glad you’re going to be with your father since I can’t give you my full attention with all this bullshit going on. Just know when you get back, you’re mine.”

“Promise?” I ask, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Babe, I have never been so sure about anything else in my life. We are going to handle things a little differently this time around, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just take your time and we will talk about it when you bring that sexy ass back home.”

As much as I want to make him talk to me, I know he is probably right. We both need time to figure out what we have and we won’t be able to do that with the situation growing more dangerous by the day.

“Ok, fair enough. Just know I’m holding you to that and if you decide to back out on me when I get back, I’m going to be pissed and I can’t be held accountable for my actions!” I am only slightly joking.

“You got it, darlin’. Listen, I have to go, are you ok?” Will you promise to text me when you make it safely?”

“I promise, Fent. Promise me you’ll keep yourself safe and out of trouble.”

“I can’t promise I will stay out of trouble but I do promise to stay safe.” The asshole actually laughs at that.

“Really, Fent? That isn’t funny.”

“Sorry. If you’re ok then I am going to take off. Please keep aware of your surroundings, PLEASE! Talk to you later, babe!”

“Bye, Fent!”

Sorrow fills my soul as soon as the line goes dead. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself without him lingering just a few minutes away. Even though I will be with my father, I know I’m going to be lonely. He’s infiltrated my mind, body and soul for the last few weeks and now I am going to try to wean myself off his soft touch and soothing voice and it is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.

Maybe I should call Daddy and let him know I’m on my way. Maybe that will take my mind off Fent. As much as I need to talk to someone at the moment, I think I’ll wait. It will be fun to see the surprise on Daddy’s face.

Fenton

I stare at the phone a good five minutes after she’s gone. I have to physically make myself get out of the car and walk in the house, hoping Camille doesn’t catch the disappointment in my demeanor.

“I’m glad you’re finally back, I have been worried all day. Fenton, what are you going to do with the bar?”

Her questions make the thumping in my head exponentially worse. I sit in the middle of the floor and am happy to see Andy is back to his old self. He’s moving a little slower but moving nonetheless.

“I’m working on it, Camille. I had to be at the police station most of the afternoon and then I had to go and visit Geno.”

“Geno? Why the hell did you go to the house?” I sit at the table and she sits a plate of grilled cheese and fries in front of me before taking the seat across from me, looking as though she’s just seen a ghost. I don’t know if I can eat and talk about that time in our lives at the same time.

“I haven’t heard that name in a long time. I don’t know if I can even eat now.” She echoes my thoughts, crossing her arms over her stomach as if she is about to get sick.

“I thought he might have known what happened to Gibson. He and Decker assure me it wasn’t them. But I trust them about as far as I can throw them.”

“Decker’s crazy ass is still working for Geno? I guess I’m not surprised; he’ll probably die with a gun in his hand.”

“You’re right about that.”

“How…was it?”

“Do you really want to talk about them? I think we’ve both moved past that time in our life.” She nods without saying a word.

“Do you remember the first time we met, Fent?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. It was such a long time ago and…well…we have both been through so much and we both have…”

“…consumed a lot of drugs? Yes, I’m well aware of the past we share.” I stop to embrace the memories that are bombarding me. “You were smoking a cigarette, sitting outside the pool hall. I should have been turned off by that nasty habit but I wasn’t. I was interested in what you had to say. The more we talked, the more we found we had in common. I didn’t have a lot of people around me at that time that I could say that about. Not a lot of my friends had experienced even one death but I had to endure two and I was not handling it very well. I remember being in awe of your carefree spirit. I wanted to be just like you, just roll with the punches but I couldn’t. I was too much of a coward and took the easy road: numbing the pain.”

“My mother made me work the streets for rent money, Fent. I was forced to live the carefree life, I didn’t really enjoy it.”

“I know but no one would ever know that. You took life and made it what it needed to be with the circumstances you were given. You are one of the strongest women I know, Cam. To this day I am not sure I could have survived what you went through.”

“Did you forget I was numbing right along with you? I don’t feel very strong, Fent. I never have and I’m completely ashamed of my past and don’t ever want to relive it.”

“You were forced to do those things, Cam. You can’t be ashamed of that. You know what happened when I went home today? Every bit of blow I had in the house went down the drain. I’m so tired of it, Cam. I’m not sure how you kicked the habit so easily. I’ve been breaking out in sweats all day and have been physically sick. I didn’t think I was going to make it out of that police station alive, I was hurting so badly. But I remember when you quit. You never complained one time and I thought to myself, if Cam can do it, so can I. I can’t form a coherent thought anymore. I can’t have a normal relationship. It’s just time.”

“You mean you can’t have a relationship with Piper? You know I would never ask you to change, Fent.” The hurt in her eyes makes me sick.

“Cam, we’ve had this discussion. We can only be friends and you know that.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She stands to take our plates and cries out just before doubling over in pain. Within seconds I am out of my seat and at her side.

“What the hell, Cam? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just getting the flu or something. I’m going to bed in a few minutes. I probably just need to sleep it off.”

“You go on to bed. I will take care of cleaning the dishes. Do you need anything?”

“Thank you. I think sleep is all I need but thank you.”

After filling a glass with water, I follow her to her room. I sit the water on her nightstand and feel her head, checking for a temperature.

“You don’t have a fever, so that is a good sign.”

“I’m sure I’ll be ok in the morning. Thanks for your concern.”

“Of course, Cam,” I say, kissing her on the forehead and pulling the comforter up over her chest. “You have been my rock for so many years the least I can do is take care of you when you’re sick.” She tears up a little which confuses me. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”

She turns so she is lying on her side and pats the bed next to her, signaling me to sit. Sadness has blanketed her face and I’m not sure why. She is usually so upbeat and happy all the time but just as the rest of us, she must be tired of everything that is happening, in which case, I can’t blame her.

As soon as I am on the bed, she rests her hand on my thigh. There was a time when her touch sparked something in me I couldn’t explain. We had something deep, something that took both of us by surprise. What started out as a friendship turned to something neither of us imagined.

“When we met thirteen years ago I never imagined we would still be so close this many years later. You were THAT guy. The one that was fun and I could get in trouble with without any judgment from you.”

“We were that for each other, Cam.”

“Yeah, but you knew my secrets. You knew what my mother would make me do with all those men but you never made feel like less of a person for it. I was afraid when you found out you wouldn’t want anything more to do with me. Fent, what happened to us?”

“We’re still friends, Cam.”

“Yeah, but you know we were more than that. What happened to you coming over every night for dinner or you inviting me over for a swim? It seems like over the last year you have been slipping away from me, only coming around for one reason. I miss us, Fenton James.” She sits up slowly and presses her lips to mine. Before I realize what’s happening, she straddles my lap, wrapping her legs around my back.

“I need you, Fent,” she says between breaths. It isn’t until she begins taking her shirt off that my sense returns and I slowly pick her up so I can move from beneath her and gently sit her back on the bed.

“What the hell, Cam? I said we were friends. That’s it, that’s all we can be.”

“Because of her, right? She has replaced me?”

“Cam, we haven’t been together for a long time and you know it.”

“I know it was only before you met Piper that we were together and you fucking loved it. What happened, Fent? Huh? Why am I not good enough for you?” she screams between sobs and it makes me feel like the jackass of the century.

“Camille, listen to me. You and I will be friends for the rest of our lives. We just weren’t meant to be in a relationship. We tried, it just didn’t work. I’m sorry.”

“You mean, it didn’t work for you? I love you Fenton. I’ve never loved another person in my life. You came into my life like a breath of fresh air. You were the only person who could relate to what I was going through. I knew we were growing apart but I thought that was because I stopped using and you didn’t but I knew the day would come when you would stop and when that happened, I knew we would be back together. I thought Piper was just going to be a fling. She was going to be another girl you kept around for a piece of ass when you needed it. I was wrong. I think you have feelings for her and it breaks my heart.”

“What do you want me to say, Cam? I never meant to hurt you, you have to know that.”

“I don’t think you planned it but it happened, nonetheless,” she says while looking down at her fingers to hide the tears that are falling. “Is there any hope left for us, Fent?” she whispers.

“Camille, I’m sorry but even if I weren’t with Piper, I just don’t think we can have that type of relation…”

“I’m pregnant, Fent,” she blurts.

“Come again?”

“I’m pregnant,” she says again, this time looking me straight in the eyes.

“I…Um…”

“I’m three months, which makes the conception date around the last time your drunk ass stumbled in here and I gave in to you yet again.” She reaches under her pillow and pulls out papers, throws it in my face, then gets up and walks out of the room. I watch the door slam behind her trying to digest what she just told me. I can’t move, I can’t think and the warmth instantly begins sliding down my cheeks. I reach down and pick up the photos and am in complete shock when I see the black and white ultra sound photos.