Reflection (10 page)

Chapter 24

I spend the next couple of days, gardening with my iPod in, learning the words to the two songs. I’m sat on my stump when I see Mrs Baker walking towards me. I stand and meet her “Hi, I didn’t hear your car?”

“I walked, after driving over the other day I had forgotten how beautiful it was, so I decide to walk so I could look at it all better, how are the songs going?”

“Good I think but I’m not sure I can do this”

“Of course you can Cody and you were my best two singers ever”

“Thank you, shall we go to the house?”

“I think you should sing them to me now, out here, you put your headphones in and sing, I will sit and listen”

I do as she says, the first song, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams starts and I start to sing, I watch her watching me sing, halfway through I gain a bit of confidence and really start singing, I feel really comfortable just as the song ends, I pull the plugs out of my ears and wait for Mrs Baker to say something, after standing there for what seems like ages waiting she eventually says something

“Well Olivia, I can quiet honestly say if you sang that for me you would win me back, that was absolutely lovely, how do you feel about singing it with just a guitar playing?”

“I haven’t played for a long time” I don’t even know where my guitar is

“No, I need you to just sing, we can get a guitar player. I think that’s the one”

“Shall I sing the other one?”

“No, that one was perfect, keep practicing I will be back Saturday with a few people for you to sing it too”

“Oh I’m not sure” shit I really am not sure I can do this

“Of course you can you used to do it before, anyway you sound like an angel”

I watch as she leaves and I carry on with my gardening trying to forget. My phone rings it’s my Mum

“Hello Princess, I have spoken with Mrs Baker and I have asked everyone to yours on Saturday, I’ve told them it’s a house warming party, don’t worry about the food I will do that, oh I invited Charlie, Geoff and the men who helped him and Joe, anyone else you would like to invite?”

“No Mum I think you have covered it.”

Saturday comes round really quickly, Charlie arrived early this morning, I was still in bed. We sat at the table and caught up on each other lives, not really that much to tell her about mine these days. We start getting the house ready at lunchtime, we have put bunting up in the trees and lanterns to light later, Mum arrives with the food and there is enough to feed an army, Dad is busy setting up the BBQ. I hear Mum shout with joy when she sees the farmer coming in his tractor with about twenty bales of hay on his trailer. After we have put the bales where she tells us we stand back and admire what we have done, Charlie hands me a glass of wine and asks if I’m nervous about singing later, I shake my head I am actually quite looking forward to it, I ask if she is nervous about meeting Joe, she replies by holding her hands out in front of her and showing me how shaky they are, we laugh and have a hug, it’s great having her around I have really missed her.

Everyone leaves to get ready apart from Dad he is staying to keep an eye on his BBQ and to show people where to park. Charlie and I get ready in different bedrooms and when she knocks at my door to see if I’m ready and walks in we have both opted for Jeans and t shirts although we have both put a lot of effort into our hair and make-up, I wear my nice red high heels and hers are black. We whistle at each other and go to get a glass of wine.  I take Dad a beer as he has just lit the BBQ and I know that once its lit he won’t move from it in case someone else steps in, I hand him his beer and he turns and looks at me “Wow Olivia you look beautiful”

I thank him and wander off to meet some of the people who have already arrived, I walk to a group where my Mum is chatting, she turns and smiles at me “Everyone this is Olivia my beautiful daughter” I smile and greet them as I spot Joe arriving, I excuse myself and walk over to meet him “Hi Joe, how are you?”

“Olivia, this place looks great but not nearly as good as you”

“Why thank you, can I take you to meet Charlie?”

“Yes please” he says rubbing his hands together and we both laugh “I have iron strength tonight, no sex for me” we laugh again as Charlie steps out from a crowd, I watch her eyes as she does a full body scan of Joe, the smile comes to her lips as she steps forward towards us

”Fucking hell Olivia” Joe whispers

I laugh and look at him “Iron will remember, Charlie this is Joe, Joe Charlie” I take a step back as Joe put his hand out for Charlie to Shake

”Delighted to meet you, Charlie” I watch as their hands touch, I almost see the electric that passes between them “Hi Joe” I laugh inside, is Charlie actually lost for words. I turn and walk towards Dad to check how the burgers are cooking. I glance back at the two of them, it makes me miss Adam even more, I excuse myself and run off to my bathroom, I lock myself in and cry, in my moment of sadness I decide to text him again

Sat here by myself missing you like crazy - Liv

As soon as I hit send I regret doing it, he hasn’t replied to my other texts, shit that should tell me something and now I’ve sent another. I clean my face up and leave the bathroom I meet my Mum on the stairs “There you are Darling, are you ready to sing?” I really to want to say no and just go to bed but all these people are here for me “Yes” she takes my hand and we walk outside, on the far side of the drive I spot a man sat on a hay bale stage with his guitar, my mum points to him and nudges me forward, I walk slowly through the large amount of people, I probably know a quarter of them, as I near the stage Charlie and Joe step up to me

“Blow them away Boo” I smile and notice that they are already close, I walk up to the man and say hi, he tells me his name is Pete and that he’s ready when I am, I put the microphone to the right level and look at Pete and nod, Shit here goes everything. Pete says one, two, three and starts playing, I come in where I am supposed to, so that’s a good start, once I get to the chorus I’m brave enough to look up, some people are dancing with their partners and others are swaying and singing along, I glance at my Mum, she is smiling and then to Charlie who gives me the thumbs up, as I sing the last note everybody is clapping, I guess they liked it, I turn and thank Pete who says I was really good. I smile and walk to Charlie “What did you think?”

“You will have him crying into his drink won’t she Joe?” I turn to Joe and he is smiling “Olivia that was so cool” I thank them and go in search of wine, I need a large glass and I need it now, my mouth is so dry.  I spend the rest of the night in the kitchen talking to people, everybody seemed to like my singing so that has given me a boost. As everyone starts to leave I notice Charlie and Joe and I wonder how his iron will is, he leans in and kisses her and then pulls back, he gives me a wave and walks off to his car, my phone pings in my pocket, I quickly pull it out thinking it might be Adam, the excitement leaves me when I see it’s a text from Joe

Iron will only just held out, sorry I had to rush away, I had a bit of a proble
m
I will call you tomorrow, you did really well tonight

I smile as Charlie walks toward me “Boo would you believe it? We had an amazing night together then he gives me a scorching kiss and says he will call me”

I just smile at her. Once everyone has gone we share a bottle of wine and I listen to her tell me all about Joe. When see eventually runs out of things to say we talk about the following weekend. We decide I will go to hers on Friday, get my hair done and buy a new dress, have dinner together and then get ready for Saturday.

Sunday is spent clearing away and tiding up, Mum and Dad helped and Charlie stayed until the afternoon, I think she was hoping to see Joe.

I sit with Dill Sunday night and watch the TV, realising how lonely I am and thankful that I have Dill, I decide that tomorrow I will call into the nursing home and see if I can do some voluntary work, I need something to occupy my mind until I decide what to do.

Chapter 25

I have spent the week gardening and doing several shifts at the nursing home, I take Dill with me and he goes and says hello to everybody, I’m driving to Charlie’s with excitement buzzing through me, tomorrow I get to see him.

I knock on Charlie’s door as she is about to open it, I shout “Boo” she jumps then laughs, gives me a hug and tells me she has made me a hair appointment at 10.30 and that she will meet me there after and we can go shopping.  I give her a hug and wander into her home, I make a coffee and decide to shower and wash my hair, I know they will do it again but I can’t go there looking greasy, I’m ready to go at 9.30 so I decide to walk, it’s not until I’m halfway there that I realise I have to walk past my old office and the building where Adam works. I arrive at the courtyard on the opposite side of the building and look at my watch its only 10 o’clock and the hairdressers is just round the corner, I stop at the café and buy a coffee and a croissant, and find a free table outside, I sit in the seat where I can people watch, it’s almost like the view from my old office window, it’s the one where I saw Adam and Lara, I shiver runs over me thinking about what happened next, I mentally file it all back in its box in my head and think of something else, I watch a Mother and her child playing by the water fountain and a girl and her boyfriend kissing sat on the grass, its then I feel the goosebumps and turn, there he is, Adam, he is walking with purpose, I wonder where he is going. I take in the way he looks, he’s wearing a dark suit and white shirt with a dark tie, his hair is a bit longer and he has a light beard but he looks like a model walking a runway, I quickly jump up from my chair and walk after him, I don’t want to talk to him I just want to look at him and find out where his is going, we leave the courtyard and he strides on towards the water, I know the view from there across the city is amazing, he walks to the rails and he holds the top rail tightly with both hands, his head is thrown back, slowly his head comes forward again and just he stands there looking out at the view, I quickly grab my phone from my pocket and take a photo of him, I notice the time as I snap the picture shit I need to go, with one last long look at him I turn and walk away.

It’s hard to say how I feel, excited to see him and sad because he’s not mine, I couldn’t walk over and wrap my arms around him, it’s funny now I think about it, after our time apart I think I love him more now.

It’s nearly two and half hours later when Charlie enters the hairdressers, I’m just paying as she comes up to me

“Wow Boo, that looks amazing”

“I know they did a great job, now I just need to find a dress”

We walk out and to her car, as she pulls away I tell her about seeing Adam, she can’t believe I didn’t go over, I try to explain that it just didn’t feel right.

After three hours of shopping my feet feel like that are about to fall off but we both found dresses, we pop into a wine bar for something to eat and a glass of wine. Charlie looks at me

“Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“No, go for it”

“Why did you finish things with Adam?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to me either, I think I needed time to get over what had happened and to find out who I was and what I wanted to do, at the time I didn’t think Adam fitted in but know I know it’s all not worth it without him”

“Wow, you love him that much?”

“Yes I do”

“Ok, best we show him tomorrow then?” I nod my head

“What time is Joe coming?” I ask and watch her face as I say his name

“He said he would be here at lunch and would take us both out for something to eat before we get ready”

As I watch her, her face almost lights up as she talks about him, I hope he can keep his iron will a bit longer and make her really fall for him, she needs a good man in her life.

We get back to Charlie’s just after seven, I decide to have a soak in the bath to relax my muscles after my marathon day, I shave my legs and arm pits then get out, I moisturise everywhere as the dress I bought shows a lot of skin, it’s not too skimpy but it is very sexy, I leave my hair I will wait and see what it’s like tomorrow. I dress in some cotton shorts and a t shirt and walk back to find Charlie sat in front of the TV with more wine, I take the seat next to her and she passes me a glass, we sit in silence while we watch the film, once it’s finished I ring my Mum to check Dill is ok, she says that he is following Dad around, she wishes me luck for tomorrow and I promise to let her know how it goes.

“I think I need to go to bed, I am so tired” Charlie nods her head I give her a hug and wish her goodnight. I lie in bed playing with my phone when I remember the photo I took earlier, I bring it up and study it for ages, I wonder why he goes there every day and what is he thinking about. I fall to sleep dreaming of a sexy man in a black suit.

Chapter 26

I wake up Saturday morning with my stomach doing somersaults, I decide to try and go back to sleep to make the day go quicker but no luck so I get up and have a shower and I think my hair will be ok, I will just need to style it later, when I walk out into the lounge Charlie is racing around tidying up, I stand and watch her I’m trying to hold back my laughter, I notice she is dressed nicely and that she has done her hair and make-up “Morning” I say making her jump

“Fuck Boo you scared me”

“Sorry, what time is Joe coming?”

“He rang twenty minutes ago to say half an hour”

I walk off to make a coffee, when she comes rushing into the kitchen “Make sure you leave it tidy”

“Christ Charlie you need to calm down, I haven’t seen you worked up like this over a man since” I try to think of the last time I saw her like it “Never” I finish

“He’s different, I really like him”

“Good, he’s a great guy”

She smiles at me just as there is a knock at the door, she stands up straight with a look of panic on her face “Do you want me to get it?”

“NO”

I watch and as leaves the room and I can’t help it but I follow, she stops just before the door and takes a deep breath then opens the door, Joe is stood there looking very handsome in jeans and a t shirt, he has his suit bag over one shoulder and a bunch of flowers in his other hand, I smile and walk back into the kitchen and take a seat. I wait for about five minutes before they join me, I stand and give Joe a hug, he asks how I am and he says he likes my hair, Charlie just stands there looking at him, I know that look he will need something extra to not have sex with her tonight.

We have a lovely lunch but I do feel like the third wheel, Charlie is all over him, occasionally he looks my way and smiles. It makes me feel even lonelier than I did before.

We arrive back at Charlie’s with a couple of hours to get ready. I dash into the bathroom first and shower, re-shave and moisturise again. I wrap a towel round me and race out of the bathroom and into the guest room. I take my time doing my makeup and then start on my hair, I decide to put some waves it, and leave it down. With half an hour to spare I’m in my dress and ready. I walk out of the room both Charlie and Joe whistle at me, I smile “Is it enough?” I ask, they both nod their heads then Joe comes over

“You look stunning Olivia, he would be a mad man not to want you”

I thank him and then look at Charlie then back to Joe “You two look amazing”

We have a quick glass of wine for courage then head down when we hear the taxi blast it’s horn.

The nerves are really starting to kick in; I know I will need another wine before stepping out on that stage.

We pull up at the venue and I’m surprised to see a red carpet and photographers outside, I let Charlie and Joe get out first and then follow them, the sound of the cameras going off is a sound I have never heard before and I can’t see a thing as I try to keep my eyes open, we eventually make it inside and a handsome older man approaches us

“Charlie, lovely to see you” Oh he has a very deep sexy voice

“Hello David, this is Joe and I would like to introduce Olivia” she turns to me and smiles

“Hello” I say as I take his hand, he holds my hand firm and strong “It’s lovely to meet you Olivia”

He gives me a quick run through on how the night will run, luckily I’m on in just over an hour. He takes me off to the back stage area I give Charlie and Joe a last look before I disappear, she holds up her hand with her fingers crossed.

We get back stage and I find Pete there, I smile and tell him I’m glad he’s here, David gets me a glass of wine and tells me to relax and that Sophie will be around and she will tell me when it’s time to take my place.

It must be the longest hour of my life.