Realm Wraith (22 page)

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’m close enough to my body now, there’s no danger.” He was right, as nothing happened the moment he let go. He paced along the rooftop, watching the afternoon sun as it hung above the city. “Now, talk.”

He wasn’t so certain it was wise to make demands of a reaper, right now Rayne wanted answers, not vague platitudes.

“When you were a child, only ten, I reckon, I came to your small village,” Darrigan said. “Someone had died. So, I came to do what I always do.”

“Did I know this person?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Oh.”

“You had nothing to do with this death. At least, I can’t see how you possibly could have, as you were busy when it happened. It was an accident. The house down the street caught fire, and it killed everybody inside. Most of them were good people, and passed on as they should. But one man was quite the bastard. Abusive, controlling, you know how it is. Not a good man, and when he died, he refused to move on. So I came to claim him.”

The demon spoke of memories from long ago. He sounded almost nostalgic. Could a demon have nostalgia, Rayne wondered?

“It was evening, I remember,” Darrigan continued. “I passed by your house and took the man’s soul, and you were out there, in the yard, all by yourself. You saw me, and you stared at me. I didn’t think much of it at first. Some people can see me, but their minds rationalize what they’ve seen. To me, you were just another one of those people. But then you called to me. You called me ‘smoke man,’ and I realized, you not only saw me, you saw me as I was. I went on my way, and took the sinner’s soul back with me to the Abyss. But you had interested me. I felt it was best you not see me again, so I kept myself hidden. And I returned every so often to watch you.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say. “So then, you probably know more about my childhood than I do now. Assuming you’re telling the truth.”

“Awful skeptical for a man talking to a reaper, aren’t you?”

Rayne gave him a tight smile. “You didn’t really explain anything. I don’t understand how I could see you before becoming a Realm Wraith. And if you knew so much about my life, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I assumed you’d react badly.”

“I’m not happy about it. I still can’t quite grasp why you’d be so fascinated. But still, assuming you are telling the truth, maybe you can answer some questions about me that I can’t?”

“Such as?”

“Why I’m in Hell. Whatever it is I did that I can’t remember, you must have seen it, right? You must know what happened.”

“I have no recollection of anything like that.”

“What?”

“It’s not like I followed you every moment of your life. I ask you, Rayne, don’t you think I’d tell you if you did something so specific to bring about your fate?”

Rayne still didn’t completely trust him. Something about this story didn’t quite fit to him; it sounded more like a convenient excuse for Darrigan’s fascination. The demon was still hiding something. Rayne tried to think of another approach.

“Then if you can’t tell me that, can you tell me about some other things? Like, when you met me, out in the yard. Was my dog with me as well?”

“Your dog?”

“Yes, my dog. I can’t quite recall his name. Or what he looked like. But I remember spending a great deal of time with him.”

“Do you remember when this was?”

“Not particularly, why?”

“Well, as long as I’ve known you, I’d never seen you with a pet. Unless you had this dog before I found you.”

This confused Rayne. In his memory, he’d been with the dog a very long time. Or was he misremembering? Did he ever have a dog at all? Shadows of doubt crept into his mind, making him question his thoughts more and more, wondering if they even were his own thoughts. He sorted through his broken memories, mere flashes with no rhyme or reason. Himself on a large ship, sailing into fog. Did he ever take a long boat trip? He remembered running through a dense wood, chasing after an animal, a deer. There were faceless memories, anger at a shadow, someone who would not leave him alone.

“Listen, you said there was no dog, but do you recall a lad my age? Something of a brute, perhaps fond of picking fights?”

“There were many boys in your neighborhood. Was this one important to you?”

“I don’t know. He did something, I think. I can’t remember what it was, or why it was so terrible, but have a strong feeling that—it’s as if he’s what I need to remember. Like that one fragment of my past that’s really important. I need to understand it.”

“I’m sorry, Rayne, but I really never saw you dealing with any neighborhood bullies, or of any real traumatic childhood incidents that would be so important like that.”

“Oh.” Rayne didn’t know what he expected the reaper to tell him. An easy answer, probably. Something that would make sense of all his memories. The feeling remained, that if he could understand something clearly, everything would go back to normal, and his mind wouldn’t be such a frightful mess anymore. Of course, even if Darrigan told him something useful, he could still be lying. Rayne would have to find the truth on his own.

“Listen, Darrigan,” he said, staring down over the edge of the roof at all the tiny people milling around on the streets. “I’ve a favor to ask.”

“You owe me several favors already, don’t you, boy?”

“Perhaps,” he said. “But given you’ve kept so many secrets from me, and you bother me as you please, I think that makes us even, don’t you?”

“Nope. But, I’ll hear you out. And you can just owe me a larger favor when the time comes.”

“Fine. Look, I’d like to be left alone, just for a little while. A few days at most.”

“I get it. You want to spend your waking hours not being reminded, is that it?”

“No, it’s not just that. I mean here, and in the Abyss. I need to—I just want a little solitude, all right?”

Darrigan raised his brow. “Do you realize what you’re asking me? You’re planning to fend for yourself in Hell.”

“I know it sounds mad, but there’s something I want to do. But I can’t do it if it means leaving Gabriel, and Apolleta, and that other woman, to survive on their own. So that’s why I was hoping—”

“You want me to play the babysitter.”

“Something like that.”

“I see,” Darrigan laughed. “And what is it you plan to do? Are you going to seek an alliance with an Abyss Lord?”

“Oh God, no.”

“I see. I think I understand.”

“You do?”

Darrigan smirked. “You think you can learn to do that at will don’t you? Shifting between the realms like we do? You did it when you sought that woman. You’ve done it other times by accident.”

“You’ve found me out. I want to get better at that, but I can’t if it means staying with the group.”

“Isn’t that a little selfish? Even if you do master it, all it’ll let you do is run away when danger presents itself. You’d be abandoning the others to save yourself.”

“No! It’s not like that. It’s hard to explain. I can’t walk anymore, you’ve seen that. But I can walk in Hell. I can run in Hell. Yet I still feel trapped. Knowing I can just whim myself anywhere is amazing, and I want to learn to do it when I please. I think maybe if I do, I can understand that world better.”

“That’s a foolish ambition. The Abyss can’t be known, not by a human.”

“I suppose not. But I still want to try.”

“All right, I’ll humor you. I’ll watch the others, and I’ll leave you alone when you’re awake. But, you will owe me. And there is one important thing I must stress.”

“Which is?”

He felt Darrigan’s clawed hand grasping his chin, forcing him to make eye contact. The burning white orbs before glowed, reminding Rayne once more of his companion’s otherworldly nature, sending a slight chill through him.

“Whatever you do,” the reaper warned, “do not go to Tomordred’s realm. You like swimming, I noticed that. But if you go there, your existence is forfeit. In the same manner, if you should find yourself in Azaznir’s domain, I want you to get out of there, as fast as you can.”

“I understand Tomordred, but why Azaznir?”

“Do I really have to spell it out? I’m sure you felt it while you were there. The heat and flames caused you intense suffering. And you don’t want to know what would happen if Azaznir himself should find you.”

“So avoid those two places, got it.”

“There is no safe place for you within the Abyss. They are all equally dangerous, but I feel those two places are the worst for a Realm Wraith like yourself. You must avoid them at all costs. Promise me this.”

“All right, I promise.”

Darrigan dug his bony fingertips deeper into Rayne’s chin. “This isn’t just a flippant agreement. Swear to me you will avoid those places!”

Rayne’s eyes continued to meet his. “Fine. I swear I will not actively seek out Tomordred and Azaznir’s domains.”

“Very good. Then I shall play the part of babysitter while you come to learn you cannot understand the Abyss.”

“Brilliant. Now how about you put me back in my body?”

Darrigan forced his hand down, still holding on to Rayne’s face, and shoved him straight through the roof. He fell through the roof and several floors until he found himself in his own flat. What followed was brief, yet still terrifying, his own body reaching out and sucking him in, that feeling of being trapped, struggling to escape in vain, before snapping back to reality as he woke up on his sofa.

There was no sign of Darrigan. He had probably returned to the Abyss, keeping his promise to leave him alone. Rayne felt a weight lifted off his back. It wasn’t that his presence was a horrible reminder of the life he was leading now, as much as he was beginning to feel smothered by the reaper’s persistence.

He could hear David walking around in another room, and glanced at a nearby clock. It was getting late; his little adventure had taken most of the day. He wondered if the passage of time was more disjointed in the Abyss. He had no way of gauging how much time passed while he was there, but it had still been morning when Darrigan brought him to that house, and he had only slipped into the Abyss for a matter of seconds, yet when the demon had rescued him, it was late afternoon, and they had been so far away from where they started. He mused over this, thinking about how he traveled within that world. Time and space did not follow normal laws. He knew he had to be aware of this if he really wanted to move freely.

“Oh, you’re awake,” David had come out from the study into the kitchen, noticing Rayne sitting there on the sofa. “You were sleeping so peacefully earlier, I was afraid to wake you. Did you have a nice nap?”

“I really looked that peaceful?”

“Yes, very serene. Like you didn’t have a care in the world.”

“Wish I’d been here to see it.”

“It’s good that you’re getting your rest. I was starting to worry; you only go to bed when I make you, and now’s not the best time for you to be losing sleep.”

“Since I had a nap now, are you still going to make me go to bed tonight?”

“You’re damn right I am.”

Chapter 8

When night fell, and Rayne fell asleep once more, he found himself again on a neutral wasteland, barren, empty save for rocks and piles of bones. Nobody else walked these plains, only himself. He hoped Darrigan had kept his promise to watch over the others in his absence. Gabriel would be unhappy. Apolleta would probably be frightened, but she seemed very willful, and wouldn’t overreact. As for that other woman, he wondered about her, if she’d be with the group, or if she’d be lost again.

He found the neutral zones quite bland. Less chaotic and confusing, certainly, but it didn’t make them a better alternative. He decided now was as good a time as any to initiate his plans.

He remembered Darrigan’s words about each of the seven realms. They all sounded thoroughly unpleasant, and of course he’d promised to avoid two of them completely. Of those that remained, he felt the forest the demon had described seemed the least awful, ruled by a god who didn’t give a rot if people encroached her lands. He closed his eyes, feeling the stillness in the black air around him. He tried to picture in his mind a forest, the sort of forest one would expect in the Abyss. Something dead, with leafless trees. A dark haunted wood written out of a horror story. But he felt nothing, no numb feeling, no sense of passing. When he opened his eyes, he was still on the empty plain.

Maybe it only works if I’ve been there before?
he wondered. But in the past, he’d never been to any of the places before warping himself there.
Maybe I need to connect with someone.
He realized now, both times he had been taken to Azaznir’s realm, and both times he’d been drawn to Apolleta. It dawned on him how foolish he was to think this would be simple. He couldn’t just leap between worlds; it took other Realm Wraiths like himself to draw his presence to them.

Sitting down on the rocky dry earth, he tried to make himself more comfortable, crossing his legs and gazing up at the blackness above him. He closed his eyes, though it made no difference visually, staring at the sky or not seeing anything at all. He tried again to picture the forest, imagining what sort of creatures could dwell in such a place. He felt a little morbid, trying to imagine the most horrible things he could think of, and he had to tell himself it was necessary. But the harder he tried to think, the harder it became to picture anything.