Ready to Wed (28 page)

“Yes.” He told her about some mutual restaurant friends, which ones were still in San Francisco and which ones had moved on. “This is pretty countryside,” he said. “I can see why you like it here, Jane.”

“Yes.” She gazed absently out the window, wondering why this had to be so difficult. “I saw you in church this morning, Justin,” she began cautiously. “I tried to catch up with you, but you disappeared.”

“Yes … I don’t know what came over me. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. Did you enjoy the sermon?”

“Forgiveness?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Do you mind if I pull over up there?”

“Not at all.”

After stopping the car, he got out and put down the top.

“The fresh air is nice,” she told him when he got back in.

He turned in the driver’s seat, facing her. “Jane, I need to talk to you.”

She smiled. “Here I am.”

“Yes.” He took in a deep breath. “This isn’t easy.”

She wanted to appear calm, but on the inside she was in turmoil. She wished that whatever it was, he would get it over with.

“The reason I came to see you, Jane, is to tell you something.”

She nodded. “Yes?”

“I know you’ve moved on with your life, Jane.”

“Yes, I have.”

“And you might even be involved seriously with someone by now. I’ve noticed you seem to have some men in your life.”

“I wouldn’t say I was serious about anyone, Justin. I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that.”

“Right.”

“And just for the record, Justin …” She figured she might as well get this out into the open. “I have forgiven you for, well, everything. I thought I took care of forgiving you some time ago, but I was touched by today’s sermon, and I realized that I was still carrying some baggage. So, if it’s any comfort, you should know that I have forgiven you. And I hope that you’ve forgiven me.”

“You?” He looked confused. “Why would I need to forgive you, Jane?”

“Oh, it takes two to mess things up. I knew how competitive you were about cooking, and still I didn’t step back. I suppose I might have put my career second to yours. Our failed marriage was partially my fault too.”

Now he firmly shook his head. “No, Jane. And that is what I came to tell you.”

“What do you mean?” She studied his face, trying to understand what he was up to. Was this a trick? A way to get her to come back to him?

“I mean that I came to ask your forgiveness. It was my fault the marriage failed.”

“But why bring this up now?”

“Because I’ve been suffering from a guilty conscience, and it’s beginning to affect my health.”

“Are you ill?”

He waved his hand. “Not seriously. Just an ulcer. Still, I knew I needed to make things right between us. I’ve been going to a counselor, and he suggested that I speak to you.”

Jane simply nodded.

“Anyway, I know I made you believe that you were responsible for our marriage falling apart. I told you that you were competitive and that you made my life miserable.
I said all sorts of horrible things to you, Jane. But the truth is that I have always been a jealous person. I never could stand anyone besting me. When we married, I thought that I would be the one to shine and that you would be the ‘good cook’ while I’d be the ‘well-known chef.’ Instead, things turned out just the opposite. You got rave reviews and the Blue Fish was booked weeks in advance, while I was just plugging along as I always had. I couldn’t stand it. I did some terrible things …”

“You mean claiming my recipes were yours?”

He took in a quick breath. “Not just that. I hinted to reviewers that you got all your ideas from other people. That you couldn’t create, that you could only present the work of others as your own.”

Jane felt indignant. “I knew that you were trying to undermine me, but I never knew that you went so far.”

He nodded with a guilty expression. “After I did it I felt terrible. But the funny thing was the rumors never hurt you. I suspect no one believed me. The reviewers still raved about you, and the customers still called weeks in advance for reservations. I guess that made me even more determined to end our marriage. I just couldn’t stand your success. Recently, I’ve thought a lot about what I did, the harm I caused you, and, well, I knew I needed to clear the air. For both our sakes.”

So many emotions were rushing through her. She wasn’t sure how to react.

“Say something,” said Justin.

“I’m stunned.”

“I’m sorry, Jane. I know I hurt you.”

She sighed. “Yes, you did.” She slowly shook her head as she tried to make sense of this. “And here I thought I had completely forgiven you.”

“Now you’re not so sure? Are you taking it back?”

“No, I just need to forgive you all over again.”

“Can you?”

She hesitated, then said, “I don’t think I can afford
not
to forgive you, Justin. Not according to what Kenneth said in church, or what the Bible says.” She studied his sad face and felt a trace of sympathy for him. “You really have an ulcer?”

He nodded. “And high blood pressure too.”

“Justin?”

“Yes?”

“I do forgive you. Okay?”

He brightened. “Okay.”

“But I do think we’re over. Don’t you?”

His brow creased, and he nodded. “The fact is, I’m involved with someone else.”

“Really?” Jane felt hopeful … and curious … and a teeny, tiny bit jealous.

“Her name is Lenore. She’s a little older than me. She teaches accounting at a community college.”

“Well, you won’t have any professional jealousy between you then,” said Jane with a smile.

“The truth is, I began to question my relationship with Lenore when I saw you again, Jane.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “I know I must seem flaky.”

She didn’t say anything, just watched him, trying to read his expression. Mostly she thought he looked older.

“But yesterday, when I saw you, Jane, sitting outside with that guy, I felt so jealous.”

“That was our minister. The one who preached today. He’s simply a good friend, Justin.”

“The point is that I felt jealous of him.”

She didn’t know what to say.

“And then when I saw you with that other fellow today, the one that Belle said was some hotshot journalist from Philadelphia, well, I got even more jealous.”

“Oh, Justin.”

“I know, it’s crazy. I’m the one who let you go, and now I’m feeling like you’ve done me wrong.”

“Do you really feel that way?”

“No, I suppose not. But even seeing you now, Jane …”
He reached over and touched her cheek and, before she could stop herself, she jerked her head back, moving away from him. “I’m sorry,” he said as he put his hand down.

“I’m sorry too, Justin.” She felt confused. And, she hated to admit it, but she was inclined to agree with Justin. He was a little flaky.

“I asked Lenore to marry me, Jane. Right before I left on this trip.”

She felt an enormous sense of relief. But she also felt concerned. “Do you love her, Justin? I mean I hope you have found someone special. I’d hate to see you make a mistake.”

“I’m not sure if I really understand love,” he admitted. “As you know, I’m a pretty selfish guy. Maybe I’m incapable of loving someone.”

She couldn’t completely disagree with him on that account. Even his unnecessary confession seemed self-serving. He’d been having health problems. He thought a clear conscience might improve his ulcer problem, lower his blood pressure, improve his quality of life, perhaps even help with his next marriage. Well, for his sake, she hoped it would.

“I suppose you want to go home now?” he asked.

“Actually, I do. It’s been a long day.”

“Thanks for listening,” he said as he turned the car back toward town.

“You won’t believe this,” she said suddenly, hoping to
change to a more lighthearted subject, “but I actually thought maybe you and Belle were going to hit it off, Justin. She is looking for a marrying man, you know.”

He laughed. “I know. She told me all about her dream.”

“So, you’re not interested?”

“She’s very sweet and pretty, but she’s not my type.” He turned and gazed longingly at her. “Not like you at all, Jane.”

Finally, they were back at the inn. “Would you like to come in?” she asked in a way she knew must have sounded halfhearted.

“No, thanks. I think I’ll be on my way.”

“Back across the country?”

“Yes. This time I’ll take the northern route and see some new sights.”

“I wish you well, Justin.”

“Thanks. You too.” His eyes were sad, and she felt a lump in her throat as she told him, “Take care.”

When she reached the steps to the inn, he tooted his horn and she turned and waved. She stood there and watched as his little red car drove slowly away. There was a sense of finality in this good-bye. She felt certain that Justin would not be back.

Chapter Twenty-Four

T
he Memorial Day celebration went off without a hitch the following morning. Almost. The high school band played patriotic songs that were nearly on key. Calvin Horn raised the flag to the top of the pole, then slowly lowered it to half-staff in honor of those who had given their lives for their country. After that, Lloyd Tynan performed his mayoral role by giving a speech that was long-winded but heartfelt. Meanwhile, while no one was paying attention to her, Clara Horn’s pet pig Daisy had a free-for-all in the recently restored planters as she uprooted and ate dozens of petunias that Jane and Craig had just put in.

“Oh my goodness,” said Clara as they examined the destruction afterward. “I do hope poor Daisy doesn’t get sick from eating all those blooms.” She turned to Jane with concerned eyes. “Do you think the flowers are poisonous, dear?”

Jane reassured Clara that petunias were actually quite edible. “In moderation,” she added, “although Daisy did make a pig of herself.”

Alice giggled as she attempted to replant a ravaged petunia into one of the planters.

“We’ll have these planters back to normal in no time,” Craig told the flustered mayor as he winked at Jane.

“And the city will reimburse you for everything,” Lloyd said to Craig. “Such a shame.” He shook his finger at Daisy, who was now tied to the flagpole and looked a tiny bit guilty. “Bad girl!”

“Maybe we’ll plant something different this time,” Craig told Jane, assuming that she would be joining him. “As you know, I’m not a huge petunia fan anyway.”

“Don’t forget you all are invited to my house for a celebration barbecue,” said Clara Horn to the inn crowd as well as Craig and Lloyd. “It’s in honor of my greatnephew Calvin and his distinguished service to our country. I hope you’ll all come.”

“I know I’m going,” said Belle happily. She was standing right next to Calvin, who looked quite handsome in his uniform. Jane wondered if perhaps he was the one, but judging by his deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression, that was probably not the case.

“How about you, Jane?” asked Clive. “Are you going?”

She stepped over the mess Daisy had made all over the sidewalk. “I might go if I thought Clara was planning to barbecue a certain
porker.”

“Oh, Jane,” said Alice. “You like Daisy.”

“I think I’d like her even better with a nice sweet-and-sour sauce.”

Clive laughed loudly, but Louise gave Jane a warning glance suggesting that Clara might be in earshot.

“Just kidding,” said Jane quickly. Then she turned back to Clive. “How about you, are you going to go catch a little more local color?”

He grinned. “I am getting a lot of inspiration for my book,” he said quietly to her. “But I’m thinking I should get back to the city before the holiday traffic picks up. I have a column that’s due tomorrow morning. Besides, I can’t wait to see how my new terrace garden turns out.”

“Don’t forget that you promised to e-mail me photos,” said Jane.

“And you promised to let me take you to lunch next time you’re in town,” he reminded her. “As a thank-you.”

She shook his hand. “It’s a deal.”

“Then if you good ladies will accept my sincere gratitude for a lovely few days at your delightful inn, I think I will bid you all good-bye.” He shook hands with all of them, pausing longer with Jane. “And I plan to come back to Grace Chapel Inn again, perhaps next fall.”

Then Jane and her sisters walked over to Clara’s house, where not a speck of barbecued pork was to be found, though the burgers were tasty and abundant.

“Belle seems to have latched onto poor Calvin,” said Sylvia as she and Jane observed from the sidelines. “Do you think he’s the one?”

“I don’t know,” said Jane. “But you should see all the wedding goodies that Belle has collected for the big event. I was putting fresh linens in her room this morning, and it looked like a mini bridal boutique in there.”

“Oh my.” Sylvia sighed. “I hope she’s not too devastated next weekend.”

Then Jane told Sylvia about yesterday’s conversation with Justin. It was a relief to tell more of the details, and Sylvia, as usual, was an eager and sympathetic listener. Jane had told her sisters about how it had gone with Justin, but the inn was busy and then Clive requested some of her time. The plan was to fill them in more fully after things settled down.