Raising Cubby (48 page)

Little Bear is now a regular too; she and Maripat have become best friends. I watched their relationship develop with a combination of wonder and unease, but it’s turned out very well for all of us. Little Bear and I had our differences that led us to divorce, but we also have much in common; and I suppose I should not be surprised that Maripat shares many interests with her too—like target shooting and edgy television shows.

My mother was next on the list. I had become estranged from her in recent years, so we didn’t have much to do with her at first. However, Maripat pushed me to be involved with her, and we tried inviting her to Sunday dinner. To my surprise, she came, and all of us had a good time. A few months later, we had dinner at a local restaurant. Strained as my relationship with her was, I could see everyone else was very happy at the new turn of events. Then my mother got sick and ended up in the hospital. Maripat went with me to see her and continued visiting on her own. As they got to know each other, they
realized they shared interests in spirituality, poetry, and many other things. Little Bear also stood by my mother, and when my mother was recovering in a nursing home, she and Maripat cared for her together. It was as if they were meant to be friends, or perhaps Maripat and Little Bear are both the daughters my mother never had.

Maripat showed a tenderness and warmth while looking after my mother, something I have had a hard time doing because I’d become so alienated over the years. By her behavior she has reconnected my mother and me; that’s a wonderful thing.

She’s shown my son caring behaviors too, and I hope they help him in his life going forward.

Then there is my mother and Cubby. In the beginning chapters of this book I wrote about my mother and my son growing together twenty-some years ago. He was a toddler, learning to walk, and she was beginning to recover from her stroke. Afterward, when Cubby was self-propelled, he spent many enjoyable days helping GrandMargaret at her house, next to the Bridge of Flowers in Shelburne Falls. Little Bear would leave him with her all day while she was at school. Like all things, that came to an end. Cubby started school. His mom and I got divorced. I moved. Cubby stopped seeing GrandMargaret except on special occasions.

Then Cubby grew up, and something changed. He missed his grandmother. At the same time, she became more disabled as she got older. Now she needs help around the house every day, and Cubby answered the call. He began going there once a week, then twice, and finally three days a week.

Over the past year Cubby got to know his grandmother as an adult. It’s been a good experience for both of them, especially my son. With her, he shows a kindness and consideration I’ve not seen him display with others. It’s the first time he’s had to take care of someone else. I guess that’s one of those key transitions: When we’re small, people take care of us, and when we get older, we take care of others.

With all the people Maripat has woven into the rich tapestry of our lives, it looks like all our kids will be there for us when we are old, but more important, we are here for one another now. That is a very special feeling that I’ve never known before.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

John Elder Robison lives with his family in western Massachusetts. His business, J E Robison Service, restores and services European motor vehicles. He has an active international speaking schedule and serves on many boards and committees, including the International Society for Autism Research, the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee of the Department of Health and Human Services, and the science board of Autism Speaks. John is the author of two previous books,
Look Me in the Eye
and
Be Different
, which have been translated into many languages and are sold around the world. Find him online on Facebook, Twitter, and at
www.johnrobison.com
.

Find Jack Robison (Cubby) on Facebook or on the web at
www.robison-industries.com
.