Read Questing Sucks (Book 1) Online

Authors: Kevin Weinberg

Tags: #Fantasy

Questing Sucks (Book 1) (14 page)

The Drashian Overseer paused a moment before looking down at his wound. His eyes lit up in surprise. Sehn couldn’t believe the man’s reaction. He actually looked as if he had no idea he’d been injured.

The overseer spat on the ground then dropped his weapon. “Make it quick, Elf. You have beaten me in honorable combat, it seems. I fought you with honor, and you have done the same.”

Sehn had no idea what this idiot was talking about. “Make what quick?”

“Do you always tease your victims, Elf?” he asked. “Very well, I have been shamed. If you wish to taunt me before executing me then that is your choice.”

Sehn couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did Humans normally slay each other after surrendering from a fight? Was that their custom? Either way, Sehn knew what course he wanted to take. He theatrically cleared his throat.

“I have decided to spare your life, mortal. Now, you shall release that slave girl to my custody, and you shall then write four poems, no less than six paragraphs each, about how cool I am.”

The Drashian’s lips spread wider. “I don’t know if I heard you properly, Elf, maybe it be the blood loss. But I’ll do as you have asked.”

“Also, make sure it rhymes,” Sehn demanded. “The great Sehn shall not have any poetry created about him that does not rhyme.”

The sound of approaching horses caused Sehn to look over his shoulder; Patrick, Daniel, and Rillith approached with at least thirty other armored riders trailing behind.

“Sehn!” Daniel called.

“Are you all right?” Patrick asked, ordering his mount to a halt. He glanced around at the chaos Sehn had caused. Things were beginning to calm down.

Cah’lia was getting back to her feet, and Nero ran in to hug Sehn. This time, Sehn was prepared. He easily dodged the little Elf.

Rillith walked over to the bleeding man, with five soldiers lined up behind him. “Shall I end him here, or would you like a public execution at the gallows, Patrick?”

Patrick frowned at the dying man. “This man was practicing slavery uninhibited in one of my cities. For too long has the Kingdom’s presence been absent in Koringrath. He shall be hung along with the mayor tomorrow at noon. Hold it in the city’s square, for I want every citizen to witness it.”

Sehn had no idea what Patrick was talking about.
Did Patrick just call this place his city?
It seems he’s trying to betray me.

“Patrick!” Sehn shouted. “You dare challenge the Great Sehn to a City-War? Have you forgotten our agreement? Back in Elvar, we all agreed that I am the only one permitted to conquer cities. How dare you conquer this city without first asking my permission? Hah! I shall slap you in front of all your girly friends. When did you even find the time to conquer this place? And I see you have already converted the soldiers to your cause. Why else would they be following you around like you were some kind of prince?”

The fifteen soldiers all spun their horses to face Sehn, outrage on their faces as they removed swords from their scabbards. Patrick held up his hand and gave them a reassuring smile. The soldiers stood down.

“Very well, Sehn. Koringrath is yours. I shall personally sign one of your Sehn-seals transferring it to you on the way home after we find the treasure. Will that be okay?”

Sehn laughed. “Bah! It’s too much effort. Let them have their foolish city. I have too much preparing to do before I’m ready to rule. Release whatever noble you kidnapped and return this city to him. Not because I’m a good guy, or anything. I’d love nothing more than to loot and pillage this city. We just don’t have the time.”

Patrick smiled for some reason. He wondered how Patrick had managed to conquer an entire city singlehandedly. Every soldier, guard, and citizen seemed to obey him and stand aside when he passed.

Hmm,
if Patrick can conquer an entire city by himself, then I should be able to conquer an entire city with one arm behind my back.

“Anyway,” Sehn continued. He pointed to the wounded overseer. “I’ve already decided to spare this one’s life. Have him treated for injury then ensure he composes my poems. If they don’t rhyme, execute him.”

“Very well,” Rillith said as he lifted up the man. For some reason, Patrick ran a finger across his neck, and Rillith nodded. Cah’lia seemed to notice this odd behavior too, because she frowned, though it was probably because she was ashamed of losing the battle. Sehn chuckled. Cah’lia would receive zero poems for her pathetic display.

Cah’lia walked over to him. “Sehn, let’s spend the day indoors tomorrow. There are a lot of games of chance here, and from what Nero has told me, you’re quite skilled at gambling.” Again, Patrick nodded for some reason at her suggestion. Ah well, what did it matter?

Sehn flexed. “Of course, Cah’lia. Perhaps you and I can team up and rob some of these lousy Koringrathians of their hard-earned coin.”

“You bet. Hey, Sehn, what are you doing? Oh…”

Sehn walked over to the frightened little girl, still inside the cage.

“Are…Are you my new master now?” she whispered. She was a small girl, with short golden hair and hazel eyes. Her tiny cheekbones and small nose made her look even younger than Nero. She shook as Sehn approached.

“I am everyone’s master!”
Sehn announced.

“I am ready for my beating now, master,” she said, her eyes moistening.

Sehn didn’t know why, but for a reason he couldn’t explain, a deep and terrible anger bubbled inside of him. Using more strength than he knew he possessed, he grasped the bars of the small metal cage between his fingers. Then there was a loud screech as he tore the thing off its hinges.

“Get this
fucking
cage out of here!” he called to Patrick. He reached inside and gently took the girl’s hand, guiding her outside of her confinement.

What the hell am I doing
? Sehn wondered. He couldn’t control himself. His emotions were running wildly out of control.

The girl was an inch or two shorter than Nero, and she looked up into Sehn’s eyes with wonder. Her face was bruised and swollen, and where Nero’s eyes always held a bold, adventurous glint, hers looked dead inside.

“Does Master wish Rina to harm herself instead?”

Sehn trembled, gripping his hands into fists and struggling not to grind his teeth. “Patrick!”

“Yes, Sehn?” Patrick answered.

Sehn struggled for a moment to speak. When he was able to form words, they poured out of his mouth in one quick command.

“Forgo my previous orders, Patrick. Have the Drashian hung along with the mayor. The Great Sehn has decided to show no mercy after all.”

Patrick nodded. His voice was soothing, but filled with approval. “As you command, Sehn.”

Cah’lia rushed to Sehn’s side, a look of both amazement and sadness in her eyes. “You did the right thing.”

“Of course I did, Cah’lia.”

 

 
Chapter 13: Children Are Annoying!

 

“Please, Master, let Rina hold,” the former slave girl begged, for what seemed like the twentieth time.

Sehn grumbled. Since freeing Rina a few hours earlier, she had not left his side for a single moment. The small girl would tug on his legs, grabbing his thigh and occasionally being dragged along the floor as she clung to him. It reminded Sehn of when he’d first met Nero. Just great. Now he was going to have to go through that nonsense all over again.

Why me?

The situation was difficult because Rina insisted that she be helpful in some way; she offered to carry Sehn’s sword and dagger. But this, of course, was a problem. Why? Because the Great Sehn required help from no one! It was true that someday he planned to have thousands of servants for every possible task, but he wasn’t ready for them yet.

Sehn traveled with the two children through the area outside the inn they were staying. He noticed the entrance to another merchant’s district across the street. He planned to finish the shopping expedition he’d been on shortly before he was forced to stop and defeat the overseer (who was in no way a challenge).

“Be gone, Human child!” Sehn shouted down at her. “Go home, or wherever it is you came from.”

“Rina has no home, Master,” she said, tugging on his leg. Sehn had to come to a complete halt. He looked ridiculous dragging the small girl across the floor with him. At least if it had just been her, he’d still be able to walk with his free leg. Now, a similar, yet different annoyance seized his other leg.

“Sehn, I wanna play with the catchy-thing you bought me!” Nero moaned.

How in the fuck did this happen to me?
Sehn wondered, crying a little on the inside.
How do I get these two away from me?

“Then why don’t you two play together?” Sehn asked.

“No, Rina wants to play with Master,” Rina insisted.

“But, Sehn, as your disciple you have a responsibility to me!” Nero added.

Sehn clenched his teeth and gave up on trying to walk. They were in a wide area between two commercial streets only a few blocks from their inn. In Koringrath, a street filled with smaller eateries and inns separated every merchant area. Here the crowds were smaller and one could take a breather from the densely populated shopping plazas.

Sehn had no idea how to handle a single child, and now he was stuck lugging around two. The Almighty Sehn was not a babysitter! Cah’lia had left him alone with them for a few minutes while she went back to the inn to wash up. Realizing they wouldn’t stop until they got their way, Sehn breathed a sigh.

“Very well,” he said. “I’ll play catch with one of you, and then I expect you two to leave me alone and go bother Cah’lia. Since we only have the equipment for two, which one of you is playing?”

“Rina will, Master!”

“Forget her, Sehn! Your disciple comes first.”

Sehn scratched his head. He probably should’ve seen this coming. If they weren’t going to reach an agreement among themselves, Sehn would have to pick for them. Well, that should be easy enough. After all, when the Great Sehn conquered the world, he would have to make many decisions that required choosing one person over another.

“I can only play with one of you brats. Okay, in that case, it’s going to be—”

Sehn felt a dull pain as an object collided with the back of his head, interrupting him. He turned around to see what fool had dared throw something his way. Sure enough, Cah’lia stood behind him.

“Cah’lia, what in the Gods was that for? Do you challenge the great Sehn to a throwing-war? I shall pick up a boulder and smash you with it.”

“Relax, Sehn.” She pointed to the ground where whatever hit Sehn had fallen. “It’s another set of Dwarven throw and catch equipment.”

Sehn looked down at the equipment resting on the ground. It was exactly the same as the one he had purchased for Nero, only a different color. But why would Cah’lia have bought one too? Sehn growled and looked over his shoulder at the little grinning Elf, who was rubbing his head and shrugging.

“Nero! After I spent all those Elvens on this ridiculous thing, you asked Cah’lia for one too? I demand you play only with mine, and use Cah’lia’s for wiping paper.”

Cah’lia rolled her eyes as she approached Sehn. She bent down and picked up the Dwarven-made toy. “Calm down, Sehn. This one is for little Rina here.”

Now Nero looked angry. “Sister, how dare you? You bought that for me. You can’t give my stuff away to someone else.”

“You don’t need two of them, Nero. And besides, you have so much stuff already. Why can’t Rina have something?”

Nero frowned at his sister then gave a pleading look to Sehn. “My sister has just revoked an item possessed by the disciple of the Great Sehn. Are you really gonna stand for this?”

Sehn let out a sigh. He wasn’t in the mood to be starting another war with Cah’lia, but Nero did make a good point.

“Cah’lia,” he began, “you cannot revoke an item given to my disciple, but I’m really not in the mood to start a fight here, so, here’s what we’ll do. Just pay Nero the thirty-thousand Elvens in apology fines—of which ninety-eight percent is mine—and I will sign a document pardoning you for your crimes and halting your execution. Let’s just make this quick.”

Cah’lia ignored every word, which fueled Sehn’s temper. Instead, she walked up to Rina and placed the device in her small hands.

“Do you know how to play, sweetheart?” she asked.

“No, miss Cah’lia. Rina does not know any games. Rina is very sorry. Please do not hit her.”

 
Dark anger crept into Sehn at Rina’s words. It took him a moment to realize his mouth was open and he was growling like a wolf. He caught himself and was quick to regain his composure.

“Sehn, a word with you for a second, please?” Cah’lia said. She shot a stern look at the children. “You two don’t even think of leaving my sight. I’ll be right over there.” She pointed to a small clearing with a brick statue of the God Raurum beside a sitting area with benches and tables.

Sehn followed Cah’lia to the statue, which was still well within sight of the two children, who Sehn noticed began bickering about something the moment they were out of earshot. He didn’t give it much thought; nothing a child said was ever important.

“What is it now, Cah’lia?” he asked.

“Sehn, we need to do something about Rina. We can’t take her with us because it’s far too dangerous, but we also can’t leave her behind. I was wondering if you had any ideas.”

Sehn shrugged. “We could always sacrifice her to one of the Gods. Perhaps they would bless us with—ouch, Cah’lia! I was only joking! Stop hitting me.”

Cah’lia gave him a reproachful look. “Truth be told, Nero doesn’t belong with us either. And no matter what you say, I know you feel that way, too. I was thinking of hiring an armored convoy to send them back to Elvar. They’ll be safe there.”

Sehn nodded. “Good, I don’t want these brats coming along with us anymore than you do. And not ‘cause I’m worried about them, because I’m not! For all I care they could get eaten by a bear. But,” he continued with a sigh, “it would make my life much easier if I didn’t have to constantly keep an eye on them. When you get back to Elvar, make sure Nero stays away from my document drawer.”

Cah’lia punched Sehn in the shoulder, causing him to flinch. “I’m staying, you dolt.”

Her reaction confused Sehn. “Why would you be staying, Cah’lia? If you can manage to get Nero back to Elvar then you no longer have any reason to journey with us.”

Worry spread over Cah’lia’s face. She turned her head away from Sehn, almost as if she wished to shed a tear without having to meet his gaze. Something was really up with her today.

Of course,
Sehn thought while nodding.
She finally realizes how much she’s been disrespecting her God-King, Sehn, as of late, and now she is showing remorse.

Sehn winced as she punched his shoulder a second time. “Ouch! Gods, Cah’lia, what was
that
one for?”

She looked at him, her eyes slightly red, as if she had shed fleeting tear. “Because I know what you were just thinking. Look, Sehn, I’m going with you until we get the treasure and that’s that. But you can try and convince yourself of whatever ridiculous lie you want, because you and I both know you don’t want to see those two little ones get hurt along the way.”

Sehn tensed and curled his lips at Cah’lia. But he remained silent.

Hah!
Stupid Cah’lia knows nothing. The Great Sehn does not care one bit about the well-being of foolish children.

“From the start,” Cah’lia said, “I never intended to let Nero go any farther than Koringrath. I figured that, deep down inside, all he really wanted was to see a new place, go somewhere he’s never been before. It’s been an adventure for him, but these are dangerous times, Sehn. We’ve only journeyed a few days from Elvar and look at the things we have already seen. Nero has had his fun, and it’s time for him to go home.”

Sehn tried to force the thoughts from his head, but damn her, she was right. Against his own volition, the picture kept returning to his mind, as vivid and clear as it had been then: Nero, lying in a pool of his own blood, still as a statue. But that wasn’t what made Sehn tremble—no, that wasn’t it at all. It was Nero’s eyes; those wonder-filled eyes that were void of any signs of life: empty, dark, and unknowing.

Before Sehn could stop himself, he swung his fist into the statue behind him, slamming his knuckles against its rocky surface. He ignored the scrapes it caused his knuckles. “If I see that one more time, I’m going to lose my mind.”

“Sehn, what in the Gods is wrong with you?”

Sehn didn’t know why, but he told her, ever knowing how it would be a bad idea. He explained to her how he’d known Nero was in trouble—the picture of him he’d seen in his mind. As Sehn spoke, Cah’lia covered her mouth with her trembling palm. She said nothing while Sehn recalled his experience, but she did weep.

“I see,” she whispered, after Sehn had finished. She looked away and Sehn followed the movement of her eyes as she stared at Nero and Rina across the street.

The two were now playing a game of Dwarven throw and catch. Sehn hadn’t told them the game’s instructions, but he was glad to see the two figuring it out for themselves as they threw the shiny ball at one another. They laughed with glee each time it stuck to the catcher.

The children were close enough that Sehn could hear them shouting to each other while they ran around the open street and laughed. Rina, who Sehn expected had no experience playing games of any kind, was unskilled at throwing. She drew back her arm and tossed the ball to Nero, but she put too much force into the throw and it sent the ball far too high. Nero leaped in the air and was able to catch it in what looked to be even to his own surprise. After landing, he stared down at the catcher and his mouth fell open. Rina clapped.

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