Punished (15 page)

A warm breeze blew through my hair, and I knew Bade was near.

“Bade?” I asked cautiously. “Are you there? Remember when you said that spirits like to talk too? Well, I feel like talking right now, do you?”

“Why is your voice quivering Arelia?” hissed Bade. “Are you sad?”

“Yes,” I replied, as I tried to force back the tears that were rapidly racing down my face.

“Being sad is natural you know. Why are you sad?”

“You know why, spirits see everything and hear everything. You saw what happened.”

He laughed his eerie laugh. “Yes, I saw, but do you know why you’re crying?”

“God! Why do you always have to speak in riddles, why can’t you just say something wise and make me feel better?” I cried.

“I am saying something wise, you’re not listening. You still haven’t learned how to listen. Now, tell me exactly why you are crying, say the words.”

“Fine!” I shouted. “I’m crying because I loved Tony, but he never loved me. He never stood up for me. His stupid parents don’t think I’m good enough for him just because I’m not rich or whatever.”

“What do you think?” asked Bade. “What do you think of yourself?”

“I…”

“Say it Arelia,” he urged. “What do you think of yourself? Do you think you’re good enough?”

“Arelia?” Tony’s dry voice interrupted my thoughts.

Why the hell had he followed me? I wiped my tears and prayed that he hadn’t heard me talking to Bade. “What do you want?”

He sat down beside me. His eyes were filled with remorse. It was the first time I ever saw him look utterly uncomfortable. He tugged down his tie and toyed with his ear. He did that whenever he was nervous. The sunset bathed him in a soft yellow glow, and I cursed myself for not finding him hideous.

 
“Please don’t cry.” He reached out and attempted to wipe away a stray tear.

I pushed his hand away. “Don’t touch me! Go back to mommy. Why are you even at Darkwood?”

“My mother wanted to come,” he said quietly, as he studied me with his cold eyes. “She wanted to see how large the LaPlante estate was if the rumors of their wealth were true.”

“Of course she did.” Grand-mere had warned me never to mess with random spirits, but she had never preached against the dangers of messing with the wrong guy. She assumed that I knew that already given my mom’s history and all. Besides, I never told her about Tony either.

After a long pause, he said, “Arelia, I’ve missed you.”

“Well, I haven’t missed you.” I lied. At that second, the very sight of him infuriated me, and I wanted nothing more to hurt him like he had hurt me. I wanted to pluck out his hair and make a Tony voodoo doll; it would be a perfect test spell.

“I know you’re angry at me, but the only thing I can say is, I’m sorry,” he pleaded.

 
“You don’t even know the meaning of that word. I don’t need your ‘sorry’. I trusted you. I loved you, but you never cared. Well, you pretended to care because that’s what you do. You get a sick thrill out of making people believe you love them only to hurt them!”

“I did care about you.” His voice was barely audible.

“Then why didn’t you ever stand up for me?” I asked the one question that had tormented me for the past year. My voice was cold and detached. “Wasn’t I worth it? Why did you pretend that we were nothing?”

He shrugged and scratched his nose. “I don’t know. I was afraid, but I’ve changed,” he swore.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I turned to look at him, furious. “Are you kidding me? Changed? Really? You’re eighteen, but you’re still your mom’s puppet, and that will you never change.”

“That’s not true, Arelia. You loved me. It was frightening because you didn’t give a crap about my family’s name or status. My money didn’t impress you. You’re the only person who’s ever had the guts to look my mom in the eye. I didn’t know what to make of that. I didn’t know how to handle someone like you, someone…”

“Someone not safe,” I cut him off. “Someone from the wrong family? Someone with definitely the wrong amount of money?”
 

I got up to leave, but Tony stood up and pulled me close to him. He tenderly nuzzled my moist neck. “I miss you, the way you smell, your smile, the way you always put me in my place, I miss us. I’m an idiot for letting you go. Melissa was so dull, and the whole time I was with her, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I shouldn’t have kept you a secret.
 
I was terrified of my parents, but I’m learning how not to be. I promise I won’t let them get in the way of us ever again,” he promised. “I never stopped loving you. I love you, Arelia.”

To my horror, I trembled in his steady arms; the smell of his overpriced musky cologne was familiar and had once been so reassuring.

I tried to pull away. Don’t let creepy people near you, don’t let creepy people kiss you, but my heart pounded and my eyes closed, as his silky lips pressed against mine. I gave into the slow, gentle, Sazerac infused kiss. Eventually, I gathered enough force to pull away.

“This changes nothing,” I snapped. “I don’t feel like being masochistic anymore. This is the last time you’ll ever see me cry.” I left a confused Tony standing under a splendid oak with the sun descending behind him. If this was a year ago, I would have liquefied at the mere sight of him. He was a perfectly dull but strangely beautiful creature.

I hated to admit that when he kissed me, I had felt something, even though I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was nostalgia or resolution. The last thing I wanted it to be was anything that remotely resembled love. Suddenly, I realized that dealing with people was just as complicated as dealing with powerful spirits. The difference was humans had the power to break your heart.
 
Spirits didn’t.
 

Chapter 16

What will happen to me?

 
As I approached the porch, I saw Lucus pacing back and forth. He slowly sipped a drink from a crystal glass and stared at something in his hand. I stopped for a moment and admired the breathtaking sight of his broad shoulders and lustrous hair against the colorful fading sky. He was bathed in an eerie glow and even from where I was standing; I could see his face was uneasy, as if he were struggling with a decision. My shoulders tensed and I stood frozen on the freshly cut lawn. I didn’t want him to see my tear-streaked face. The last thing I felt like doing was answering questions.
 

“He saw you Arelia,” whispered Bade.

“Saw me what?” I asked, even though I kind of already knew the answer.

“You know.”

“So what if he saw me kiss Tony? Lucus and I are just friends. I’m only helping him. There’s nothing more to it.”

“You’re so silly Arelia, you’re still running.” Obviously Bade thought he knew more about me than I did.

“Thanks for the info, Bade.” Shoes in hand, I took a deep breath and walked up the humid steps. I tried to be totally calm and composed, but without the heels, the dress was too long and I almost tripped over the stupid thing.
 

Luckily, Lucus secured me before I fell flat on my face. “You disappeared,” he said, as he slowly released me.

I let out a nervous laugh. “Why, did you miss me?” I teased, not wanting him to know that I was secretly flattered.

“Perhaps, just a little,” he confessed, as he put his glass down and reached out to wipe the mascara streaks that had accumulated under my eyes and down my sweaty cheeks. His touch was cool and inviting from the icy drink that had been in his hand. It was a welcome release from all the craziness that was going on around me. I allowed him to wipe away the stains and ugliness that marked my face.

“How did you even notice? You were too busy being harassed by Mrs. Dumpty.” I raised a suspicious eyebrow.

His eyes danced as the vanishing light hit them. “I notice when you’re not in a room,” he said simply. “How can I not?”

“So you are my stalker, aren’t you?” I joked, but in reality, those words filled me with unexpected elation. I kind of wanted him to stalk me, as twisted as that sounded.

He let out a small laugh, as he gaze held mine. “I’m not admitting to anything.”

“Where’s Sabrina?” I asked. I hoped she was still dancing with Mr. Dumpty or arguing with Ivan. I wanted to stand on the marble porch with Lucus for just a while longer.

 
“I believe she’s dancing with Mr. Dumpty.” He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. “I wanted to give you something.”

Curiosity got the best of me, as I eyed the object in his hand. “What?”

He demonstrated a delicate silver necklace adorned with a small dagger charm.

“This necklace was given to my mother by your great great-great grand-mere. After we found out about the curse, my mother went somewhat mad. She questioned the meaning of her devotion to God and the church, the significance of heaven and hell. She prayed infinitely for my soul, but her beloved Father Rodrigo couldn’t provide her with any answers. By some miraculous force, your grand-mere was the one who gave her comfort by telling her that each and every soul had a purpose, and nature would not let anyone suffer unnecessarily. She told her that this necklace was a representation of Erzulie’s strength and that my mother needed to be strong for my sake. For some reason, those words were the ones that she needed to hear, wanted to hear. She put aside her own prejudices and finally understood that nature wasn’t confined to one church or belief. After that she never took this off.
 
It hung alongside extravagant pearls, jewels, and crosses, but it never once left her neck. After she died, I took it from her. I never could bring myself to look at it until now. Now, I think it belongs to you, as a reminder that whatever happens, you need to believe in your own strength.” He examined me for a reaction.

“Why do you have so much faith in me? How can you believe something that can’t be proven by logic?” I asked. “You believe in my strength even after what happened last night. Don’t you have any uncertainty that maybe I’ll turn out to be useless?”

“When I choose to believe something, I never believe with half my heart. What’s the purpose in that?”

Lucus’ belief in me was unwavering even after I had let him get sucked dry by Sousson Pannan. His faith was strong; he didn’t need proof or logic. Maybe I could learn something from that. I reached out and took the necklace from him; it was much heavier than it looked. In the middle of the dagger, there was a small ruby.

“Seven stabs of the dagger,” Lucus whispered, as he watched me pass my fingers against the shiny surface of the jewel. “My blood is pouring down.”

I looked up at him in surprise. “You know that chant?”

He nodded. “It was the chant you used to ward off that spirit.”

Oh God, he had heard that. Did he also hear me sing to him while he slept? I was mortified. If he had, he didn’t say anything. “I can’t take it, it’s yours.” I handed it back to him.

“It’s yours now.” He gently spun me around. His fingertips on the nape of my neck sent vibrant chills through my body despite the heat.

“What was my great great-great grand-mere like?” I asked suddenly curious to know where I came from.

“She was like you, stubborn, moody, determined, but kind,” he said, as he clasped the necklace around me.

I turned my head to face him. “I’m not stubborn.”

“I’m the pathetic one?” Tony’s voice alarmed me. He stood on the porch with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed.

I pulled away from Lucus and stood to face him. “What do you want Tony?”

“We just kissed, and now you’re with this guy? I know you felt something Arelia. You and I aren’t over.” His expression was hard, as he eyed Lucus with contempt.