PsyCop 5: Camp Hell (23 page)

 “Just driving” would have been a heck of a lot nicer in Jacob’s roomy Crown Victoria. But he’d taken a cab downtown, so he tilted up my steering wheel, pushed my seat back as far as it would go, and made do. We hopped on the expressway and drove. Jacob was at the wheel. I stared out the passenger window.

We headed south, through good neighborhoods and bad ones, then good ones again. In about an hour, we crossed the border to Indiana, where the gas prices dropped by a dime, and old signs for fireworks, half-covered by snow, periodically appeared alongside the road.

Jacob chose a small motel at random and paid for a room with cash. The desk clerk and the other clientele were all black, but although they took a good long look at us, a couple of gay white guys clearly out of their element, they didn’t seem inclined to give us any hassle.

I peeled off my overcoat, jacket and holster, and threw them on the bed. “I’m remembering so much, but I can’t make sense out of it. It’s too much. All at the same time. All jumbled up. And what sucks is that I’m not even so sure what I’m freaking out about anymore.”

“Seeing you like this? It kills me. I swear, it’s like somebody sticks a knife in my gut and gives it a good, hard twist.”

“Seeing me like what?”

“Is it possible for you to remember these things without completely reliving them? It seems like you’re doing everything the hard way. I wish you could go easy on yourself, just for once.”

I stripped off my shirt. It was rank. I threw it on the floor, went into the bathroom, and ran the water. I unwrapped one of those little bars of soap. My skin was blotchy across the stomach, where I hadn’t rinsed off the High John the Conqueror well enough and my skin had reacted poorly to it.

Jacob came over and leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. He had done that the day I met him in Maurice’s basement, while I was trying to swallow a pill that was struck on my tongue. See, I was able to have a pleasant memory. And maybe not everything that happened in a basement was traumatic. Not always.

I wasn’t eager to put my clothes back on until they’d had a trip to the cleaners, so while I took a shower, Jacob ran out and got me some sweats from one of the half-dozen strip malls we’d passed. I noted a smaller shopping bag inside the large one that held a new bottle of lube, too. It was reassuring to know that Jacob thought lube might come into play that night, given the roller coaster ride that our life had turned into.

We stretched out side by side in the strange bed with sheets that smelled like bleach, and we stared at each other in the dim, yellow light of the bedside lamp.

“Don’t be mad at me for protecting our house.” Jacob brushed a strand of hair off my forehead. “I just want us to be safe. I want us to be happy.”

“I’m not mad.” He did make me feel safe. And happy. Just looking at him made me feel like my heart was so big that my body couldn’t contain it. He was decisive, and Type A, and I had known that from the beginning. That was what I liked about him.

I covered his hand with mine, and he leaned in for a slow, easy kiss. When I opened my eyes afterward, he was watching me. “You need to know who’s sending those faxes. And I think Doctor Chance is the one who can tell you.”

I thought about spotting Sanchez, dead, in the corner of his office. And how Krimski knew that I’d spotted him. “Yeah? What if the whole reason they brought me in was because they were testing me to see if I could find her?”

“What if it was? They probably think she’s gone now, because Richie performed the ceremony on that repeater.”

Maybe so. He’d said it was sudden, violent. A gunshot—I remembered he’d said gunshot, not suicide, and he didn’t name a gender. They could’ve thought he meant Chance.

Jacob rolled me onto my back and straddled my hips. He sank his elbows into the hard, unfamiliar mattress on either side of my head, cupped his chin in hands, and stared down at me. Breathing was a challenge, with all his weight on me like that. And I felt good. Safe.

“Do you want to keep going?” I asked him. “Just drive—anywhere? I’ve got money.”

His dark eyes softened, and a wistful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I would, if I thought it would work. I like hearing you say it, though.”

“Like” being Jacob’s shorthand for the growing bulge pressing into my hipbone. “So if you won’t let me run away with you…why are we here?”

Jacob brushed my hair back again, then kissed my temple, my eyebrow. “Everything in our house reminds me of the FPMP. All of our stuff is a potential hiding place for a bug. I just wanted to be alone with you, only you, even if it was for a single night.”

I slipped my arms around his back and pressed him against me tighter. He felt even bigger than usual, as if he’d been working out his frustration about the unrelenting surveillance with extra bench presses. “Then we’ll have to make a choice.” I really never expected me to be the one to say it. “Whether we live with the FPMP watching us and accept that there isn’t shit we can do about it, or we cut the cords, and we go.”

Jacob traced his finger along the top of my ear, and I shivered. “Where would we go?” he asked.

I drew a blank. Because mostly I was thinking that I could totally feel the shape of his cock. And I wondered if I should grind myself against it. “France?”

Jacob’s mouth brushed mine. His goatee tickled my chin. “I don’t speak French.”

Neither did I. “Mexico?”

“I doubt we’d be any better off. They have their own brand of corruption in Mexico.”

Jacob shifted, and grunted when my stiffening cock slid into place beside his, bulge against bulge. I gave in to my urge to hump him, and his breath hissed in.

“I’ve been thinking about Crash,” I said. Actually, I’d been thinking of something Stefan said, but it was all connected.

Jacob rolled off me and pulled me against him, chest to chest, with my leg locked between his. “Okay.”

“Now that you’re not mad at each other anymore, it’s obvious that you’re close. Good friends. And even though I want to smack him sometimes—really hard—I think I can say the same for him and me. And I’m sure we’d have a blast if we took him to bed with us.”

I trailed off to gather my thoughts, lapsing into silence long enough that Jacob had to prompt me. “But…?”

But I wasn’t in it for the “fun.” At least not the way Stefan had talked about it, him and Fernando. “Having a three-way with Crash is something I would’ve done in a heartbeat when I was younger. And I’m figuring out that I don’t really like myself, not the way I was back then. Especially seeing it through my eyes…now. I’m not that guy anymore. And I don’t want to act like him.”

“I’m sure Crash will be devastated. And then he’ll find a dozen other men who’ll be more than happy to take his mind off us.”

“A dozen? Seriously?” I twitched my hips, and our hard-ons rubbed. “You think they’ll be hot?”

Jacob’s mouth covered mine, and I felt him smile. “There’s hot, and then there’s hot.”

I turned my head aside so I didn’t laugh directly into his mouth. “Yeah, right.”

He trailed his fingertip over my lower lip, down my chin. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for blue eyes.”

Jacob took advantage of the moment I was completely blown away by the notion that he was after anything other than my Psych talents. He snuck a hand down the front of my sweatpants, and then the waistband of my new boxers, which were still sharply creased from the package. It seemed like everything here was squeaky clean and new, or at least freshly-scrubbed. What a nice change.

Jacob gripped my cock loosely, and stroked the underside of the head with his thumb. My cock swelled until it was good and stiff. He nuzzled my wet hair out of my ear, then teased me with his tongue, in and out, like a preview of what my ass could expect.

I arched into his touch. I realized I’d been holding my breath, and sucked in air in one big, loud gasp. He moaned in my ear, and pressed his stiffening cock against my hipbone. I wedged my hand in between us and grabbed his balls, right through his jeans. I caressed them and he flexed into my hand.

“I noticed you bought something besides the clothes,” I said.

“It’s amazing what you can find at SaverPlus these days.” He gripped me harder and started stroking. I used to think Jacob squeezed just a little too much when he handled my cock. But now my inner masochist was totally into it.

“So are you gonna just beat me off, or do you plan to break in the new lube?”

“That’s what you want?” he said, in his low, hot porno-voice. His nuts shifted in my hand. I traced my thumb over the root of his shaft. He felt ready to bust out of his jeans.

“Yeah.”

He tongued my ear again, hot and wet. “Tell me.”

Damn it all, did I have to? I sounded like a moron in bed. But I was still loopy from the blue-eyed comment, so I gave it a shot. “Grease up that thick, hard meat of yours and fuck me with it.”

Jacob’s breath caught. “Suck it first,” he whispered. Needy. Hot.

I undid his jeans and peeled them open. His cock was ruddy and hard, thick with veins. I did my first slow lick right up the middle with the flat of my tongue. My mouth filled with salty cock-taste. I curled my tongue over the head and wet it with my spit, letting Jacob feel the heat and wetness, but not sucking, not yet.

Jacob held onto my head two-handed, fingers in my hair, pressed against my scalp. I let my lips drag against the head while I licked it all over, down one side, back up, and down the other. I eased up to the slit, and stroked the saltiness out with the very tip of my tongue. Jacob’s fingers tightened on my scalp, and he shuddered.

I wrapped my lips around the head, and Jacob groaned. He wanted to thrust, I could tell, but instead he held himself still. He probably wanted to jam my face down over the whole massive girth of it. I reached into my new sweats and gave myself a few quick pulls at the thought of it.

One inch, then another. I worked my way down slowly, until my jaw was stretched to capacity, and I felt the tickle of his pubes on my lips. And then I started to suck.

Jacob gave a moan that probably carried back to the motel office, and his fingers clenched in my hair. “So good,” he said, the words nearly lost in all the sexy noises.

I started to move my head, up and down, really deliberate, while I kept up the suction. I set a rhythm that made my jaw ache. I ignored the pain and focused on Jacob’s breathing.

“Maybe we should go away.” Jacob’s grip had loosened, and he stroked my hair while I blew him. “Canada. Buy a little place out in the middle of nowhere and hide out.”

Canada, huh? They spoke English there, mostly. And we could gay-marry and everything.

Holy crap, had I actually thought that? I pulled off of Jacob’s cock with a big, wet smack. He stroked my cheek with his knuckles, and stared down at me with an expression so comically tender that I could swear he’d just read my mind.

“Straddle me,” he said. “I want you on top. I want to watch you ride my dick.”

Well, maybe he hadn’t. Not exactly.

I pushed out of my sweatpants, opened up the squirt-top of the lube and punctured the foil safety barrier with my car keys. Jacob’s clothes were all out of place—shirt hitched up under his arms and pants bunched down around his thighs—and he’d swung his feet over the side of the bed to take off his socks. I gave the lube a sniff while he finished stripping, since it wasn’t our usual type. No odor. I worked a drop between my thumb and forefinger, and admired the chiseled lines of his abs as he pulled his shirt over his head. He was more pumped up. I’d never expected muscles to do much for me; after all, his gym-buddies had left me flat. But more of Jacob to love? I could get into that.

He stretched out on the bed and tucked an arm under his head, and his biceps bulged so big that I wondered if he could even bend his arm comfortably. “You’re looking…ripped.”

He glanced down at his insanely cut body and then back up at me. He grinned. “I didn’t think you noticed things like that.”

“I might be a head-case, but I’m not blind.” I climbed onto his legs, low on his thighs, and jerked off his veiny cock while he and I both watched the shiny purple head appear and disappear from the tunnel of my fingers. My saliva on it grew sticky, so I squeezed some lube over Jacob’s cockhead and smoothed it around with my palm. Instant glide. Jacob’s breath caught.

“You’re not a head-case.” He was struggling to sound normal, but he’d said it between clenched teeth. I squeezed harder, and the sides of his ass dimpled as his body reacted. His breath huffed out.

I wasn’t going to argue about it, not now. I knew I wasn’t schizophrenic, but all my time in institutions had left a mark on me, no two ways about it. I let go of Jacob’s cock and climbed him. His thighs were bigger now, too. There was less space between us when I straddled him.

I crooked a leg to line him up, and then I settled back down with the tip of his cock pressing at me just so. A push, even a shallow one, and he’d be inside me. I always dug that moment. Almost there. But not yet.

Jacob stared up at me like I had a riddle in my face that he hadn’t quite pieced together. “What?” I said.

He shook his head.

“You feel amazing,” I told him. I bore down, almost imperceptibly, and Jacob and I both held our breath. He reached up and put his hands on my shoulders. He wanted to press—oh yes—and impale me on his cock. But he didn’t. He just rested them there. And I closed my eyes and enjoyed the just-about-to-be-fucked sensation for one more selfish moment before I eased down and buried him inside me.

His hands roamed down my chest. He slipped them around my waist and encouraged me to fuck myself on him. I flexed, and we both gasped again at the feel of him inside me. I put my palms flat on his chest and pushed myself up straighter, figuring I could force myself to let him watch me, since he’d asked for it and all. His eyes lingered somewhere around my collarbone. Hickeys. Or bite marks. Both, probably.

I sat up tall, held on to his hips, and felt the length of him right up my ass, so stiff, so good. I moved faster, and my cock slapped down against the rock-hard curve of his abs. I left it to beat itself against him for now, and just focused on the thickness of him stretching my hole.