Authors: Chrissie Buhr
“What did Richard say about being late for work?” I had to know.
She rolled a shoulder suggestively, smirking at the memory. “I walked into his office and apologized for being late. As soon as he knew the reason, he said, and I quote, ‘Good sex should never be apologized for.’”
“He actually said that?” I laughed, embarrassed.
“Exact quote.” Billie threw me a grin as she grabbed a pan. “He’s eager to meet you on Friday.”
“I can’t wait. What should I wear?” I’d asked that before, and she’d said casual, but I didn’t know what that meant when a lawyer came for dinner, even one who was a friend.
She reiterated what she’d said before. “It’s not a big deal. Richard and Kathryn won’t care.”
My eyebrows shot up. “A lawyer who’s not interested in the clothes a person wears? Does that exist?” That was hard to believe.
“On the job he cares. Among friends and family he doesn’t.”
“What did you tell him about me?” I wondered nervously if she’d told him I was a Sensitive. The name was still new to me.
Her wicked grin told the truth. “Almost nothing, which is driving him nuts already. I’m going to enjoy watching him figure you out.”
“Great. A lamb thrown to the wolves.”
That amused her immensely, though I didn’t understand why. She approached me, pulling me towards her, and bent her head to my neck. Breathing on it, not quite touching it with her lips, I could feel the skin prickle. My eyes closed and head leaned back under her breath. Anticipation and desire filled me, and she murmured softly. “I would hardly call you a lamb. You smell so much better.” Between the laughter in her mind and the seriousness of her voice, I laughed.
The chicken in the oven and everything else ready to go, we made ourselves at home on the couch. With her legs wrapped around mine, she nibbled my neck from behind. Even though I enjoyed it, I couldn’t keep my mind away from the night before. “What’s bothering you?” She wanted to know.
“We should have called the police last night.” It had been bugging me off and on all day.
She invited me closer, and I rested my head on her shoulder, the foreplay delayed for a moment. “I know. But I couldn’t.”
“Are you in trouble?” That didn’t feel right, but I needed her to voice it for once.
“No. It’s just that my family’s legal matters get complicated when the police are called in. Not a single one of us has a warrant or is under investigation or is illegal. However, we have to be very careful about when we call law enforcement.” Once again I felt her holding something back, and for the first time it bothered me.
“But they’ll do it again.” I shuddered, unable to help imagining them attacking another woman.
She sighed, rubbing my arms in apology. “I know. And I hate it too, but I promised my family.” She truly did detest letting those boys get away, but she felt trapped so I didn’t push her.
Guilt pervaded my emotions, and Billie knew it instantly. “He got away with it, didn’t he?”
I couldn’t answer right away, and she gave me the time I needed. “I never called the police.”
“And that haunts you.” She’d hit the nail on the head.
Remorse that I hadn’t realized I’d pent up hit me hard, and my voice shook. “I know I condemned someone else to the same thing.” I’d never voiced any of this before, and I wasn’t sure how I was doing it.
Her arms embraced me, and I felt protected. “No. He’s the rapist. Put the blame where it should be – on him. You did nothing wrong.” Her tone was gentle, her mind insistent. A low pulse of anger rose within her, and I could tell she went to great lengths to control it. I also knew her anger was for my sake, which reassured me a bit.
“If I’d turned him in, he’d be in jail now.”
“Why didn’t you?” Her mind held me in a comfortable embrace. Her question came with no recriminations, only genuine interest.
Snuggling my head even further into her shoulder, I nevertheless turned my gaze away from her. Away from this woman who was strength incarnate – everything I wasn’t. I didn’t want to admit my weakness to her, but it was important, and I knew it. “I was alone. I had no one.”
“You are so strong.” I didn’t understand or believe, and she felt that. “There are many types of strength. To survive something like that alone shows incredible inner strength. Believe it.”
“How?” I knew she didn’t mean it, but I felt minimized by her words. They simply weren’t true. I was weak, and I’d always been weak. I felt the tears on my cheeks and realized they’d been flowing for a while. “I ran away, and he walked free to attack someone else.” My voice came out harsher than I intended, but she didn’t take offense.
“Growing up I had my parents and sister, and now I have my family too. Much of my strength comes from them, because no matter what happens I can turn to them. It’s easy to be strong. But you. You’ve had to find all of your strength from within you, without family or support. It’s always been that way, hasn’t it? To be the person you are today without help through the shadows … that takes more strength than I will ever have.”
She believed it wholeheartedly, but I wasn’t sure I did. It was nice to hear – and confusing – and I knew internalizing it would take time even if it were true. I still doubted that last part. “I thought I was supposed to be the expert on human behavior.”
“Not when it comes to you. You see everyone around you so clearly, but you are a stranger to yourself.”
I thought about that, and knew she was right. “Other people I don’t have to figure out. I just know.”
She knew where my thoughts were going. “But you struggle to figure out your own feelings.”
“I do. I always have. It’s so frustrating!”
“That’s normal.” We both laughed a little.
Laying in silence for a time, she gently stroked my arm. It didn’t even feel sexual at that moment, simply comforting. My libido had been drenched in ice water as soon as the conversation started, and I couldn’t even think about sex. But with her arms around me and her mind embracing me, I felt like I might actually be okay. Someday.
At that moment, the pain felt survivable. I’d pushed it down into the depths of my thoughts for so long, and with her presence I almost felt like I could allow it to surface without killing me. Almost, but not quite.
As submerged as I was in my thoughts, I didn’t hear the persistent beep of the kitchen timer. I felt her stir and whisper, “The chicken’s done,” before I heard it. Still, it took me a moment to sit up, unwilling at first to remove myself from her embrace.
Tired of ruminating on the past, I switched mental gears and followed her to the kitchen.
Chapter 6
Hesitating in front of Billie’s house, I tried to contain my nervousness. The week with Billie had been extraordinary. The sex was phenomenal, of course. But the day-to-day stuff – cuddling and talking about anything and everything, grocery shopping, morning jogs – felt comfortable and exciting all at once. The world, seen through her eyes, was stimulating and beautiful. Billie lived for every moment and enjoyed life. On the occasions that some darkness haunted her, she didn’t dwell in it. She shifted back quickly.
She talked about her family often, and I was anxious to meet them. They were a central part of her life, and I wanted to make a good impression.
Breathing in deeply twice, I tried to calm my nervousness. Opening the car door, I walked towards Billie’s front porch. It was my first time visiting her home, and I took it all in. Her lawn was well kept but not manicured like those around it. Trees and bushes sprawled the grounds randomly, and wild patches of flowers speckled the lawn.
Wild and beautiful, like Billie.
I thought with pleasure.
At the front steps, I turned and took it all in again, wondering what it would feel like here at dusk or dawn. Behind me the door opened, and I turned to see Billie’s smile. “Would you like to come in? Or would you rather wait outside a little longer?”
“I should have known you’d know I was here. Can’t a girl get a little privacy?” I gave her a hard time.
“Look who’s talking.” We greeted with a light but lingering kiss, and I ran my fingers through her fiery hair. She hadn’t even tried to subdue it. Curls poured around her face and down her back completely untamed. My favorite style. She wore a simple silk spaghetti strap top. It hung loosely against her body while showing off her curves with every movement. Black slacks hugged low at her hips, and when she raised her hand to touch my face, I could see skin at her waistline. For her this was simple and comfortable.
“You look beautiful.” She beat me to the compliment. I’d pulled a violet halter top out of the back of the closet where I hadn’t even looked in a while. It tied around my neck and hung low in the front and back, showing off a fair amount of skin. My jeans were snug but not tight and flared a bit over heeled boots.
“Thank you. So do you.” She took my hand and drew me inside. A mouthwatering aroma penetrated the air as I stepped into her entryway. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her home, but I took it all in and loved it. Classy but comfortable. Deep greens and rich browns dominated her décor. A few pieces of modern impressionistic paintings hung strategically on the wall, and I looked upon creatively captured nude women whose bodies blended into mountain landscapes and oak trees. The spacious living room was packed with gently worn couches and functional tables. It stretched into an open dining area with a large table, beyond which I could see a view of the desert foothills, untainted by a single building.
“It’s so big.” I murmured my appreciation.
“Anyone in the family can come by at any time. My home is theirs. That includes you, Sadie.” She led me by the hand through the dining room into an enormous kitchen. Billie stirred a simmering pan of vegetables and beef, inspecting it closely before removing it from the heat and covering it with a lid. Two refrigerators, a six-burner stove and a double-stacked oven only began to show how much effort she put into the room. The kitchen was meticulously clean, but cooking implements overflowed in a haphazard clutter.
“Juice? Pepsi?” She asked, snatching a glass from a cupboard.
“Juice, please. This is definitely your kitchen.” I took it all in appreciatively, running my fingers across the counters as I admired her home. She poured a glass of orange juice for me and I sipped gratefully. It had been a warm day and the cold drink was refreshing.
“I’ll show you the rest of the house later.” She grinned. “If we get distracted and burn dinner, Richard will never let me forget it.”
“When are they coming?” I tried not to show my nervousness, but of course she could see right through my façade.
“Soon. Any time, actually. Quit worrying. They’re going to love you.”
I sighed. “You keep saying that. I can’t help it.” She grabbed me from behind and buried her face in my neck, pressing her teeth below my ear.
“Maybe I should bite you where everyone can see. Mark you so they don’t have any choice but to accept you into the family.” Her amusement made me chuckle, and I pretended to fight her.
“So long as it heals by Monday.”
“Deal.” She bit my ear and inspected it with mock seriousness. “The mark will be gone by tomorrow night.”
“You didn’t just do that!” I laughed out loud. “They’re going to think we’re total pervs.” Checking my reflection in the oven door, I could see delicate teeth marks along my ear.
“Nah. They’ll think I like you.” She admired the mark, very satisfied with it. Feeling devilish, I spun and pressed her against the counter. Her body went taught with anticipation, and her mouth parted in desire. Kissing her lips, she softened under me. My hands covered hers on the countertop, arms held back so that her breasts arched out for me. I traveled down the length of her neck, caressing her with my lips, until I reached the curve of her breasts. She dropped her head backwards under my touch. Breathing in her earthy scent, I enjoyed the way her panting made her chest rise and fall for me.
Without warning, I bit her quick and hard between the curves of her breasts. Though I’d only intended to playfully get back at her for biting my ear, she erupted in orgasm under my bite. Feeding off of her response, I let go of her hands so that I could reach her breasts, brushing the nipples through her thin shirt. She cried out softly, her dilated eyes meeting mine. “Damn. I’m good.” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Hell, yeah.” She replied shakily. “I knew that from day one.”
“Oh, and that mark won’t be gone by Monday.” I fingered the deep teeth marks visible just above her shirt line. I’d broken the skin, unintentionally, but I was too satisfied by her response to be sorry. A bruise spread quickly outward from the mark, and somehow it was beautiful.
“Sadie.” Billie whispered as she touched the mark lovingly. There was something she wanted to say, but instead she touched my face and brushed her lips softly against mine. We stood there for a few moments, barely touching and loving every minute. “I love you, Sadie.”
“I love you too.”
She sighed, breaking the moment. “Come on in.” She spoke towards the door, raising her voice only a bit. “They’ve been waiting patiently for a bit.” I coughed, choking at her words in embarrassment. How could they know?
A middle-aged couple walked through the front door, exchanging knowing looks and smiling broadly at us. My face flushed in embarrassment and I could barely meet their eyes. A woman stepped forward and took my hand in greeting. “I’m so happy to meet you, Sadie. Billie has told us nothing about you. She’s been happier than I’ve ever seen her and the evil girl made us wait to get to know you in person.”
“You must be Kathryn. It’s good to meet you.” I said awkwardly, my cheeks still flaming. Kathryn held herself like one born with the proverbial silver spoon but without any disdain. A genuinely warm person, she exuded tranquility like chamomile seeping from her skin. I relaxed quickly in her presence. She was fit and carried her age well. I couldn’t actually tell her age, but I sensed she was older than she appeared. Her light brown hair held no hint of grey, and only slight lines showed around her eyes.