Protecting My Hart (Protectors Series Book 1) (13 page)

“Oh my god.” I’m not sure if I spoke that out loud or even if I did, I doubt anyone heard me.
This man who I thought I knew isn’t what I thought at all. He’s had this whole other life, still might. He could have a family somewhere, and I wouldn’t have a clue. I don’t know this man at all.
I feel the panic taking over my system.
I have to leave.

“Tesoro, look at me. Take a deep breath for me, Hart.” His hand holds my chin in place, and he kneels before me so that his face is all I can see. “Hartley, listen to me. I can see you panicking, and I know your natural reaction to panic is to run, but I promise you, if you do, you won’t get far. I am the same exact man you knew five years ago. The same one. Everything you knew about me has stayed the same. I couldn’t tell you before because it was too dangerous for you to know. If JD had somehow suspected, well, he knew that we talked, and if he thought I had confided in you… makes me sick to think what he might have done to try and get information from you. I know that you trusted me then, and you can trust me now. The only difference is, now you know my secret.” His eyes never leave mine, and I can see it, hear it, and feel it. The sincerity and truth. Closing my eyes, I take a deep, calming breath and let the panic and fear fade away. My body falls forward, sagging into him, his arms wrap softly around me.

“I do, Slyde, I trust you. I’m just scared.”

“I know you are, Tesoro, and I’m going to do everything I can to take away the fear.” His statement is so honest, I believe him and nod against his chest.

“Momma?” my son’s voice filled with unease and tension hits my ears. I sit up breaking free of Slyde’s embrace and see my son standing in the hallway with a tight grip on his bear, and he’s staring at the three big men.

“Good morning, baby. Come here.” I smile and he does, watching Mack and Kash closely. He crawls into my lap, and I hug him tightly, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

“Good morning, little man,” Slyde greets him softly.

“Hi.” He answers Slyde, before turning to me, “Momma, who are they?”

“Hey, buddy, you remember me?”

“Yeah, you are Beamer, but who are they?” His eyes fall back to Mack and Kash before he asks them directly. “Are you more good guys to help Slyde catch the bad guys who are chasing us?” My eyes meet Slyde’s, and he smiles. I see Kash out of the corner of my eye—he’s crouched down and is smiling at Ethan.

“Hi, my name is Kash. Slyde and Beamer are my friends, and yeah, I’m one of the good guys.”

“Hi, my name is Ethan!” I can both see and hear the smile in his voice.

This little guy is one tough kid. Yeah, he gets nervous, but he’s not afraid to ask questions to find out what he wants. I like the fact that he believes in good guys. I truly believe he can tell; he becomes comfortable around the guys almost immediately. His gaze looks back to Mack and he watches him almost as if he is studying him and maybe he is. Just another thing to convince me he’s my kid.

“Who are you?” Ethan finally asks.

“I’m Mack.”

“Are you a good guy?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Momma, there’s lots of good guys now. We don’t have to hide no more, and you can sleep and not cry, ‘cause the good guys are going to catch the bad guys,” he smiles and explains to Hart. The innocence he still has is amazing. Hartley smiles at him, but I can see the war in her eyes that her son even has the knowledge of bad guys and that he has to worry about them.

“I guess we are pretty lucky then, to have so many good guys helping to keep us safe, huh?”

“Yep, it’s ‘cause Slyde promised, and they are his friends so they want to help. Right, Slyde?”

“That’s right buddy,” Kash states. “We are gonna keep you and your mom safe from the bad guys.”

“OK. Momma, I am hungry. Can we have pancakes again?”

“Um, I don’t know if we have stuff to make pancakes sweetie.”

“Actually, little man, I was thinking I would take you and Momma to a place where you can have any kind of pancakes you want.”

“Any kind?”

“Yeah, they have some with banana, or chocolate chips, or blueberries, or peanut butter.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really, how does that sound? Then after we have breakfast, we can go play at that park I showed you.”

“Cool!
I’ll go get dressed!” He jumps off of Hartley’s lap and starts to run down the hall when he stops then comes running back to me and slams into me, giving me a big hug. My heart swells and melts all at once. I kiss the top of his head, and I hear sniffles. Looking up, I see Hart crying with a soft smile on her lips.

“C’mon, baby boy, let’s go get ready. You need a bath; go pick out your clothes.”

“OK.” Ethan takes off again.

“Can I…?

“Of course, Tesoro, there are towels in the hall closet, use either bathroom.”

Hartley stands, and I with her. She nods, gives me a quick hug, and then follows her son down the hallway. When I turn around, three pairs of eyes are on me. I motion for them to follow me out front.

“Fuck, man. I can’t believe you found her and that little guy. What the hell, is he yours?” Kash fires out seconds after the front door closes.

“Don’t know for sure, but I think he is. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her about that yet.”

“Well, either he’s yours or you have a fuckin’ twin. I’m in, man. Whatever you need, that little guy is talkin’ about bad guys chasin’ them and his mom cryin’ and not sleepin’. Little man shouldn’t be worried about shit like that. She’s your girl, he’s your kid. I got your back no matter what. We’ll keep them safe, and I don’t give a flying shit what the higher-ups have to say about it. Mack, we’re doing this. Slyde ain’t here, one of us will be here, don’t really care if it’s just me and Beamer doin’ it. It’s happening.”

Mack gives a slight nod.

“Thanks, brother, I appreciate that. I won’t be staying at the house long anymore. I’ve been putting some distance for a while now, nothing suspicious about me not staying there all the time.”

“You’re due back in what two days?” Mack asks.

“Yeah, we got Tommy G, Ice, and Rex comin’ in to meet. We’ll also be setting up another meet with Yang and a potential new buyer outta Texas. You’ll have all that info in a few days.

“OK, then we will have someone here at all times when you’re not. They won’t leave the house unless one of the team is with them. Does she have a job, he in daycare?”

“Yeah, she does, but I’m going to talk to her about that. She said she needs to work. Honestly she doesn’t, but if she wants to I want her doing it here, not back in Atlanta. As far as I know, whoever was watching her there doesn’t know she’s here, and I’d like to keep it that way. I also don’t want her to feel like a prisoner like she was with JD. She won’t become one here unless it becomes absolutely fuckin’ necessary.”

“I’ll set it all up and let you know. The guys are right, we protect our own. They’re your family, we got them.”

“Thanks, Mack.”

“All right, bro, enjoy pancakes and the park. We’re out!” Beamer states. We slap hands before we give each other a bro hug—same with Kash—while Mack and I just shake. He tries to keep a line of professionalism drawn, but he’s still one of the guys, and I trust him immensely. The guys leave and I head back into the house with a huge smile as Mack’s words fully penetrate my brain:
My Family. Fuck, I really like that thought.

I’m sitting here at the table with Hartley and Ethan. He is a very well-behaved little boy. Hart has done such a great job teaching him manners, how to be polite and respectful. He certainly knows how to act in public, unlike some of the other children I see out and about. We talk about movies and stories, what he is learning in school. Hartley is so proud of him it’s easy to see he is her world. Everything she does is for this little boy, and that warms my heart. I really want to ask her about Ethan, but I don’t want to overwhelm her. All of this shit going on has got to be taking a toll on her, and I really don’t know how much more she can handle. She’s strong no doubt, but even then she can only handle so much. After paying the bill, which Hartley tries to repay me, but I won’t let her, we are back in the car and it dawns on me that I have no food in my house, and we need to make a detour.

“Hey, buddy, are you OK if we make a stop first before we go home and play at the park?”

“Can my bear come with me?”

“Sure, little man.”

“OK.”

“Where are we going?” Hart asks.

“Grocery store. I don’t keep much at the house ‘cause I’m never there. So, I figured since you and Ethan will be there. I probably should have food for you to eat.”

She remains silent while I pull into the store parking lot.

Hart grabs a cart and Ethan and I follow, not really paying attention to what she’s grabbing, mostly just the two of us goofing off. I think it’s been like twenty minutes when she states she’s ready. Looking at the cart, she hasn’t grabbed much. There’s a box of cereal, milk, a few boxes of mac and cheese, a box of crackers, bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly, and finally a five pack of Raman Noodles
. This isn’t food.

“Hart, what’s this?”

“What?” she asks quietly.

“There’s hardly anything in this cart.

“It’s what I can afford right now. I haven’t worked in two days now, and besides, this is plenty.”

“What do you eat?”

“What do you mean?”

“This stuff is for Ethan, the only thing I see for you is this noodle shit!”

“I eat sandwiches too.”

“Fill this cart up with real food,” I demand. I get it, I do. She buys for Ethan and goes without if she has to. She eats cheap crap so that her son gets what he needs, and that’s how it should be, but fuck, I hate that she even has to do this. She should be able to go to the store and buy whatever she wants and needs without having to worry about it. She shouldn’t have to go hungry ever and she should be eating real food, not this shit. It hurts and makes me angry that I haven’t been there to take care of her. If she’d just told me I could have made her life so much easier.

“Slyde, I can’t afford—” she begins to argue again.

Stepping to her, the cart no longer between us, I gently cup her face and raise it to fuse our gazes.

“Hartley, I get it. In your world, Ethan comes first; you make sure he has everything he needs. You do whatever it takes to make sure that he is taken care of, and that is exactly how it should be, a mother putting her child first. But see, in my world, I get to put you
and
Ethan first. I’m thinkin’ you didn’t understand what I meant when I said we were getting food. I want you to fill this shopping cart up with whatever you want, chips, soda, fruits, pasta, baking shit. Whatever. You. Want. Then, we are going to walk to the front, they are going to ring it all up, and I am going to hand them my card to pay for it. I don’t want protests from you, and I don’t want you shopping on a budget. I promised I would take care of you and that’s what I’m doing. I know you are going to fight me on it, but I don’t care cause, it’s going to happen anyway.”

“But…” her lips tremble softly. “Are you sure? This really is fine. We will be just fine with this.”

“Yeah Hart, I’m sure. I want my fridge and cupboards overflowing with stuff.”

“Are you going to tell me what you like to eat too? That way when you are home I can make things you like to eat.”

“Hart, I’m a guy. Not much I don’t like. Besides, if you’re makin’ it, pretty sure I’ll be eatin’ it.”

“OK,” she whispers and her lips form a soft smile. It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to kiss them, so instead I drop a kiss on her forehead and smile at her. I feel an arm go around my leg, and when I look down I see Ethan smiling up at me. I swing him up giving him a hug and rest him on my hip.

“OK, now let’s try this again, and we can start by putting this crap away,” I state grabbing the Ramen noodles and putting them back in the shelf. We spend the next hour or so walking through the store and this time when we are done, the cart is overflowing with food. I can still see Hartley struggling with this, and I know it’s hard for her, but she needs to get used to this, because she’s not going anywhere.