Power Play: A Novel (18 page)

“He was an outstanding chairman.” Her voice was smooth as glass.

“I’m not going to get anything out of you on this, am I?” he said, sounding frustrated.

“Are you calling me for a story? Or as a friend?” She sounded sad as she asked. She didn’t want to be used, by anyone.

“A little of both,” he said honestly. “You’re the best source I’ve got on this one, and something tells me there’s more to the story. It was very sudden. You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to, but don’t lie to me at least.”

“Then don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.” She sounded tired as she said it. It had been a long few days since she’d had lunch with him.

“I’m not going to push you on this,” he said quietly. He respected her integrity, and knew how hard her job was. And she did it well. She wasn’t the kind of woman who would have told him if Harding was the leak, and he knew it. He was wasting his time asking. “I was actually calling about something else,” he said, changing the subject. “I have to do another interview in your neck of the woods tomorrow. I was wondering if you’d have dinner with me. I had a good time with you at lunch. I was going to suggest a bar I go to when I’m in Palo Alto. They serve beer and great burgers. Nothing fancy. And I promise I won’t ask you about Harding Williams. You have my word. Just two pals for dinner and beer.” She laughed at what he said. She hadn’t had an invitation like that in years.

“In that case,” she said, then hesitated for an instant. She’d been about to decline, but it sounded like fun, and she had no plans. And she was lonely at night after the vacation with her kids. “I’d like that. Can we make it early? I’ve had a long week.”

“I’ll bet you have,” he sounded sympathetic. And he was sure that whatever had caused Harding Williams to resign hadn’t been easy for her either. In the end, all the tough decisions rested on her, and were in her hands. “Actually, so have I. Is six o’clock too early?”

“That would be perfect.” She could get home at a decent hour after dinner. It had been ages since she’d gone out for beer and burgers at a bar with a friend, but he was good to talk to. And she still wanted to get him together with her sister. He was perfect for her, even if he was ten years younger. She had a feeling that neither of them would care about the difference in their age.

He gave her the name and address of the bar, and told her he’d meet her at six o’clock the next day. And Fiona was pleased to see that any mention of Harding’s resignation from the board, due to ill health, had been handled by the press in print and on the Internet as a nonevent. There was some mild speculation, but no one could prove the link with their leak two months before. And they all emphasized that he’d been due to retire in a few months anyway. They were off the hook. She spent the rest of the day in meetings, dealing with the complicated business of running NTA.

And that night when she got home, she swam in the pool, which invigorated and revived her after a long day. And afterward she called Alyssa in Tahoe, where she was staying at the Westons’. Alyssa told her what they’d been doing and after a few minutes they hung up. Fiona was exhausted and wanted to go to bed.

But what Alyssa hadn’t told her mother was that the atmosphere at John’s parents’ summer home was more stressful than she’d expected. They were very pleasant and polite, but there was a palpable tension between his parents that made everyone ill at ease. John admitted to her as they sat on the dock alone at the end of the day that it had been that way since his father was accused of sexual harassment, even though the woman who had done so had admitted that her claims were false. It didn’t seem to make a difference, John told her. His parents had been upset anyway, ever since.

“The woman who accused him of it admitted she was lying, and my mom believed he was innocent all along,” John explained to Alyssa, “but I think it freaked her out that anyone could make a claim like that. She’s been really nervous since it happened. And my sister drives him insane. She’s always looking for something to fight with them about. She told my dad she thinks he was cheating on my
mom. And she still doesn’t believe he didn’t. So my dad is pissed at her, and my parents fight about that too. I guess it’ll blow over eventually. But they haven’t been the same in two months.” And then he admitted his worst fear to her. “Most of the time they get along really well. But my dad is under a lot of pressure at work. Your mother must be too. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I worry that they’ll get divorced. None of my friends’ parents are still together. Look at you,” he pointed out. But Alyssa’s parents had been divorced since she was thirteen. She was used to it by now, and Alyssa felt sorry for him. John said he couldn’t wait to leave and go back to school. It was worse when his older brother was around. Tom and their father fought about everything, and he thought their father was a liar and a jerk, and he had pounced on the sexual harassment issue, and he believed his father was guilty of it too. John said that Tom never cut their father any slack.

“The perfect family, huh?” he said, looking like a little kid, as they sat on the dock and swung their feet in the icy water. Alyssa loved him and wanted to be there for him. He was very sweet to her.

“There are no perfect families,” Alyssa said, leaning against him as he put an arm around her. “My parents used to fight all the time. My dad hated my mom’s work. He thought she should stay home with us. I think that’s why my mom doesn’t even date anymore. All she wants now is peace. I worry about her being alone sometimes. It’s lonely for her now that we’re gone. But I think my father turned her off marriage and men forever. He picked on her about everything. He still does whenever he sees us. He always has something mean to say about her.” Alyssa looked sad when she said it. Her parents’ bad relationship had been painful for her all her life.

“Mine don’t fight that much. But my mom’s been really nervous
since the harassment suit. She always wants everything to be perfect for all of us, and especially for him, and sometimes it just isn’t. She wanted my dad to take a month off and stay up here with us, and he wouldn’t. He’s not even taking a vacation this year, just weekends. And he goes to L.A. every week. It’s not easy being a CEO. I think I’d rather run my own business than a huge corporation, like your mom and my dad.” He was becoming increasingly aware of the toll it took on everyone, not just his parents, but Alyssa disagreed.

“I’d love it,” she said, smiling at him. “It’s really exciting. My mom loves what she does. I want to run a big corporation someday too.” The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. And her mother was her role model for everything in life. She admired what Fiona did.

“Yeah, but if she winds up alone because of it, what good is that? I’d rather have a solid marriage and a house full of kids,” he said with a grin.

“I’d be happy with two, like my brother and me,” Alyssa said demurely.

“I was thinking more like five or six,” he teased her. “And imagine if all six of them were like my sister—I’d kill myself. I swear, she must spend all her spare time figuring out ways to piss them off. She told my father she’s going to get a tattoo when she turns eighteen.”

“I’ll bet he loved that.” Alyssa laughed. She thought Lindsay was funny, although a rebel to the core, but she was just a kid, and would probably outgrow it in a few years.

“My mom said she doesn’t really mean it, but watch her get some ugly tattoo on her eighteenth birthday,” John said with a rueful grin. And Lindsay had gotten considerably worse, and ruder to their father since the threatened harassment suit. John had been relieved to get away from all of them and visit the Carsons in Malibu. Alyssa’s
family seemed like much happier people, and in spite of her job, he thought her mother was more relaxed than his father, and she obviously loved being with her kids. His own mother was more uptight and under pressure to do everything right and be perfect, and she worried about everything, particularly lately. It just wasn’t fun at their house anymore, although it was better when his father came up to the lake for the weekend. He had bought them a Jet Ski, which made his mother nervous. She was afraid he’d have an accident on the lake. Once his father arrived that weekend, Marshall let John take Alyssa out on their boat, and they sped around and went fishing and enjoyed it. But the boat was a source of arguments between his parents too. The end result was that they weren’t having much fun, and they’d been much more relaxed in Malibu. And the lake was as cold as the atmosphere in the house at times. That night Alyssa overheard John’s parents arguing about letting John take her out in the boat.

“It’s too dangerous. There are accidents on the lake every day. People get killed. What if she gets hurt while she’s here?” Liz worried about everything these days.

“Oh, for chrissake, Liz. He’s perfectly responsible. You can’t treat him like a five-year-old. He plays football. That’s a lot more dangerous than driving a boat around the lake.”

“That’s different.” Liz tried to explain, but Marshall wouldn’t listen, and when they went to bed that night, he turned to her and asked her what was wrong. As soon as he said it, she started to cry. She seemed to cry constantly now, and had for the past two months. It was like an aftershock of everything that had happened. She had been so solid and strong when he needed her to be, and now she was falling apart.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” he asked her gently as she clung to him and cried. She hated it when he went anywhere these days.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I’m scared all the time that something bad will happen, to you, or the boys, or Lindsay.” The accusation of harassment had rocked her world, and even though she believed him, the idea that he might have an affair was haunting her now. She had never believed he cheated on her, but suddenly she was worried that he would. She felt ugly and old. And the malice in the world, embodied by a woman like Megan Wheeler, had come too close to their peaceful life, and it had shaken Liz badly. Nothing felt safe to her anymore. She even worried that something would happen to him in L.A., or that the company jet would crash with him on it. She was suffering from a kind of nonspecific acute malaise.

“Maybe you should see a doctor,” Marshall said, looking worried, and Liz nestled into his arms. He felt that she was upset all the time now, and he was helpless to calm her down. He wondered if she was sick.

“I’ll see how I feel when we go home,” she said quietly. He was worried about her, he didn’t understand what had happened to her. She had always been his rock, and he could count on her, and suddenly she had gone weak at the knees. It was a relief for him every week when he went back to the city, and got away from her for a few days.

And things in Malibu were no better. Ashley was depressed too. The whole incident with Megan Wheeler had made her realize that Marshall might cheat on her again, even for a one-night stand. And she had become increasingly obsessed about Liz, ever since she’d seen them together on TV. She was fed up with his double life, between the two households, and she no longer wanted to wait for
Lindsay to finish senior year. She wanted him to leave Liz now and move to Malibu to live with her and the girls. She harped on him about it every chance she got.

“I can’t wait another year,” she said, sobbing at breakfast, and Marshall felt like a Ping-Pong ball being batted back and forth between two crying women, both of whom were driving him insane. He tried to be patient with Liz, but Ashley was putting so much pressure on him that he expressed his anger more frequently with her, which only made things worse for them.

“I can’t live like this!” he shouted at her one morning after the girls left for camp. He tried not to lose his temper around them, but he needed Ashley to be more understanding than she was being at the moment. Marshall pointed out that she was a grown woman, and his situation was not new to her. “I think Liz is having some sort of nervous breakdown, and I can’t deal with you falling apart too.” He ran his hands through his hair in desperation, and Ashley burst into tears and ran upstairs to their bedroom. She was sick and tired of hearing about Liz. He found Ashley sobbing in their bed half an hour later, and he didn’t know what to do. Both women were driving him crazy. Neither of them felt sure of him anymore, and both of them were insecure. Their peaceful lives had been shattered, and whichever city he was in now, it felt like the wrong one to him. He was going from one unhappy woman to another. And Lindsay only made it worse when he was with Liz. She had barely spoken to her father since May. At least the twins still thought he was a hero, but no one else did. Ashley was accusing him of cheating on her, and Liz was afraid he would. He had no one to talk to about it, and he was barking at everyone wherever he went. He could hardly concentrate on his work, but at least going to the office was a relief.

“Ashley, you have to calm down,” Marshall begged her. He wanted things to be better with her again, even more so than with Liz. Liz was his duty. Ashley was his dream. “You have to trust me. I swear to you, everything will be fine in a year. You’ll have everything you want. But if I walk out on Liz now, my kids will never forgive me. Just let me get Lindsay through high school, and all your dreams will come true.” But he knew she no longer believed him, and that everything Bonnie said to her when he wasn’t around just made it worse. They were hardly making love. He could barely think straight anymore. All he wanted was for everything to be the way it had been for the past eight years. Ashley wanted more. She wanted everything, and a full life with him.

When he got back to Lake Tahoe on Friday, Lindsay had had a fight with her mother, and they weren’t talking to each other. He poured himself a stiff drink and went out to sit on the dock, and a lone tear slid down his cheek. His life was a mess, and there was nothing he could do about it, and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to rock Liz’s world any more than it already had been. Megan Wheeler’s claims had turned Liz’s life upside down, worse after it was resolved than when it was happening, or so it seemed. And his admission of guilt to Ashley, even minimally for the sake of honesty with her, hadn’t served him well. He was sorry he had told her what he did. He needed both of them to calm down so they could regain some kind of normalcy. And in a year, when Lindsay graduated, he could see where things were with Liz. But whichever way he turned, he knew he would destroy someone’s life, or his own. That was the last thing he wanted. All he needed from both of them was peace, and their support, not their demands. He felt as though he had two
boa constrictors around his neck, and they were squeezing him as hard as they could. It even made him nervous now when he went to L.A. Instead of being welcomed with open arms and jumping into bed with him, he had no idea what condition Ashley would be in, what she would accuse him of this time, and her demands had been strident ever since she’d seen him on TV with Liz.