“Portia, come here. There’s a cave,” his voice whispered inside of my head.
I smiled, got up from where I was resting and followed after him.
“Be careful,” he hollered to me when he saw I wasn’t going to pop over to his location. “The rocks are a slippery.”
I followed the path he made until I was able to slide my hand in his, and he pulled me up the rest of the way.
The cave was dark and shady, lit only with the light that made its way through the water. It was shaped like an egg, narrowing into the shadows until it came to a curved, blunt stop. Droplets of water trickled through crevices in the rock here and there. Surprisingly, there were also a few small ferns that had grown up through little nooks and crannies.
“This is beautiful,” I said, looking over at him.
“It is, isn’t it?” He flashed a boyish grin, and it warmed my heart.
“I love it. It’s so cozy and isolated. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could stay in here forever?”
“I have other plans in mind,” he said with a laugh, reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt, removing it.
“Really?” I asked, folding my arms and leaning against the wall as he reached for the buttons on his pants. I couldn’t imagine this place being too comfortable as a love nest. It was a little too rocky for my taste.
He quickly removed his shoes and stripped his pants the rest of the way off, so he was standing in front of me clad only in his cotton boxers.
“You coming? Or are you chicken?” he asked before he ran past me, cannon balling out into the waterfall and disappearing from sight.
“Vance!” I exclaimed in surprise by this turn of events. He had caught me totally off guard with his intent.
I heard his shout of glee from outside, and the laughter rang in my head as he spoke into my mind. “Come on in, baby. The water’s fine.”
I smiled and began to remove my clothing until I was standing in my underwear too. I stepped over to the ledge and threw myself out into the pounding water, falling until I hit the pool beneath. I was pushed under by the hard current until suddenly it shot me back up the other direction.
Vance was there laughing, treading water as he waited for me. He grabbed me and pulled me to him. We swam over to a shallow spot, where our feet could touch the bottom, though the water was still up to my chin. He pushed some of my disheveled hair away from my face, before wrapping his arms tightly around me, staring down. His gaze traveled tenderly over my features.
“You want to know who I am, Portia? I’m the guy who adores you, who has always adored you, and would do anything necessary to prove it. Who do I want to be? I want to be the man worthy of the love you give. How do you fit in? I want my life to revolve around you. I want to take care of you. I want to give you babies and have a normal, happy, family life. I want a job, vacations, parent teacher conferences, and a real place to call our own. I want to come home every night and make sweet, passionate love to my wife. I want the dream—the stability I’ve never had. I want to love and be loved in return.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” I asked, my heart overflowing with his declaration. He was still mine in every sense of the word.
“Are you kidding? I’m a blood sucking demon …,” his voice trailed off when I placed my fingers over his lips.
“That is not who you
are
. That is just something about you. You have a dream, Vance. What are you going to do to make that dream a reality?”
He held my gaze for several long moments. “I’m … I’m going to kiss you.” He dropped his lips to mine and kissed me slow and languidly, lightly exploring my mouth with his tongue. He tilted my head, tangling his fingers into my wet hair as he held me to him. His lips moved everywhere over my face, against every part of my exposed skin, before he lifted my off my feet and into his arms, making his way to the shore.
He laid me gently in the ferns at the water’s edge.
“I want to be with you as me—the man who loves you—not some raving, out of control demon.”
“Then do it,” I replied, my skin prickling with goose bumps.
“I don’t know if I can,” he said with a sigh, his eyes filling with streaks of red.
“Try,” I encouraged.
Later, when we left the pool side I knew I’d always remember this enchanted place forever. This was the place where my husband truly returned to me, beating down the demon desires coursing inside of him.
A new chapter in our relationship had begun.
What do you do to help someone who doesn’t like who they are, but is genetically unable to change their circumstances?
My mind was in total upheaval as I lay twisted in the covers with my sleeping husband.
Vance was exhausted—both physically and mentally. I had to give him kudos for never backing down from a daunting task he needed to tackle. When he made up his mind to do something it was difficult to make him see things otherwise, and he’d made up his mind to beat his demon tendencies.
While that sounded nice in theory, it was making his life a living hell.
In the days since we left the waterfall, he spent a lot of time testing his boundaries. He refused to drink my blood, which in turn caused him to be extremely irritated and angry. He spent hour after hour outside chopping wood, trying to burn off some of his physical aggression. When he was done splitting, he would stack all the pieces into perfectly organized rows in the three sided wood shed on the property. The structure was near to overflowing now, but he didn’t stop, continuing his self-imposed therapy.
I quietly observed him from my chair on the porch, watching him work until he was glistening with sweat from exertion. When he would near exhaustion he would drop the axe and make his way to the house, kiss me lightly on the cheek and would go to get cleaned up while I made him some dinner.
He didn’t like me to be far from him, I quickly discovered. I kept myself scarce during the first day he tried this, and he yelled at me for it.
“I need you next to me!” he shouted, pinning my shoulders roughly to the wall when he came into the kitchen. “It’s the only way I can get used to handling the temptation.”
“I’m sorry. I thought it would be easier for you if I kept my distance,” I tried to explain as I stared into his flaming eyes.
“I don’t want you to keep your distance,” he growled, crushing his lips to mine as he kissed me hard, choosing to ravish me right there where we stood.
Being together was a major release for his pent up emotions, but it also compounded his problem. His blood lust was so tied up to his physical reaction to me I would often stare up at him with worry, watching him while he moved. His face was a mask of determined control, breaking out in a beaded sweat, while his fangs would lengthen in anticipation of a drink he wouldn’t allow.
He would often collapse on top of me in a heap, burying his face in my neck to lick and suck where he wanted to bite so badly. His teeth would sometimes graze over my skin just enough to draw small droplets. He lapped those up quickly before the Awakening healed me again, his body shaking with violent tremors of longing.
Many times he fell asleep right there, and I didn’t move for fear of disturbing the only snatches of peace he could find lately.
I knew it was hard for him. It was hard for me too. I made the same vow to not drink any of his blood either. Though I didn’t suffer from withdrawal, I did miss the sweet taste of him inside me and the strength his power temporarily added to mine. But it was time to face the facts—Awakening or not—taking from him was leading me down a path I had always hoped to avoid. No, I wouldn’t make the change, but I could feel a wild restlessness in myself when I drank from him—something that wasn’t normally there otherwise.
Vance shifted, sliding off me slightly, but still keeping me pinned to him possessively under one arm and leg. “I’m so tired,” he whispered in a gravelly voice.
“I can only imagine,” I replied, turning to look at him and finding his eyes still closed. “You’ve been putting yourself through a rigorous test.”
“This is harder than I thought it would be. I think it’s making me sick.”
“How can I help?”
“Keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t give up on me. I know I’ve been a jerk, but I don’t want to be. I’m always wondering when you’ll reach your breaking point and finally leave me.”
I traced my finger over his eyebrow and down the side of his face. “I have no plans to ever do that. You should know that by now.”
“I do, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about it anyway.” He pulled me against him even tighter, and I felt him shudder. The points of his teeth peeked out from under his lips, and he growled slightly. “This is torture—sometimes exquisite torture, but torture all the same.”
He buried his face into my neck and inhaled deeply.
“Would it help you to have a bit of a break from me today? I can pop over to check on the coven, let them know how we’re doing and see how things are going with them. Maybe Shelly has had another vision.”
“No,” he said roughly, his arm tightening. “I want you here with me.”
“I won’t leave you, Vance. I would come back. I thought it would be nice of us to check up on them and make sure they’re all okay. I would take you with me, but under the current circumstances I doubt that would be very smart.”
He sighed against my skin, causing goose bumps to trail across my flesh before he rolled away.
“They’re fine, Portia.”
“And you know this how?”
“Because your precious Hex has been haunting this place, checking up on you. I guess I have to give him kudos for always being concerned about your safety, but man that guy gets under my skin.”
“Hex has been here? When?”
“I can’t tell you exactly when, but he’s been a frequent observer of my wood cutting sessions. He leans against that dang tree out there with his arms folded over his chest, watching me with that giant scowl of his plastered across his face. You have no idea how much I would love to rip into his throat. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even hesitate.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he was here?’
He shrugged. “I figured if he wanted you to know he would tell you. He’s probably just hanging around to antagonize me anyway.”
I sighed. “I don’t understand why you hate him so much.”
He opened his blazing red eye and stared hard at me. “Are you serious? Come on, Portia. The guy is constantly trying to get you to leave me. He has absolutely no respect that we’re bound by magic or marriage. What kind of guy doesn’t respect or honor vows like that? He complains about me being some awful demon, and yet he’s the one encouraging you to break what sacred bonds I do honor. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane at times, not to mention you’re one of the very few good things in my life right now.
“I understand he feels I’m being selfish for keeping you, and I am. But I love you—more than my own life. Surely that should count for something. I’m sitting here trying to overcome my bloodlust for that very reason. Isn’t that proof enough? What else do I have to do?”
I ran my hand through his hair and down the side of his face. “He’ll see eventually, Vance. I’d wager he is already, albeit he’s doing so begrudgingly. You have to realize his past with demons nearly destroyed him. He’s been raised with the belief most of us have … that demons are completely uncontrollable and untrustworthy. Even you felt that way at one point, and you would still feel that way if you hadn’t experienced this yourself.”
“I know, and I get where he’s coming from too. I witnessed the attempted change of a couple witches Mayla’s coven tried to turn. It was a massacre. Some people just can’t handle the change when it happens, and they have to be put down.”
“They destroyed people they changed?” I asked in horror, unable to believe what he was telling me.
“They were mad, Portia, completely mad—unable to exhibit any amount of control even when they were supplied with blood. They would’ve been killing machines with no sense of direction. Even demon covens need some sense of management.”
“I thought that was a natural tendency, I guess. I remember when I touched that book it revealed a lot of demon history, and they looked insane. I thought it was a normal part of the change.”
Vance shook his head. “No. There’s that kind of bloodlust when a demon is first made, but it should be able to be calmed when fed blood. It was that way for me. I woke up after the Awakening was removed, and all I could think of was how badly I needed a drink. I was coming for you, and I was going to tear into your throat and drink every drop of your blood I could squeeze out of you. After Hex took you, and I couldn’t find where you were, Mayla brought me back and gave me blood. I was still hungry and still craved you, but I was teachable and able to listen to what she had to say.” A shudder went through his body. “I would’ve killed you.” He ran his hands over my face, his fingers grazing lightly over my lips. “I would’ve killed you,” he whispered again, tracing on my skin reverently before he closed his eyes and sighed. “Maybe Hex isn’t such a bad guy after all.”
I watched him, unspeaking, as he struggled with himself. His eyes were sunken and bruised looking, and his features kept flickering in between his normal and demon appearance. He looked sick, and I wondered if he would be able to hang on to his control much longer.
I knew he needed to feed. I was proud of him for trying to make a change to better himself, but the fact remained he was a demon, and demons needed some amount of blood to survive. I was worried his little experiment was destroying him, and knowing Vance he would let it just to prove he could do it without giving in. I refused to let that happen.
I rolled, leaning over to kiss his lips. He responded, but it lacked his usual effort.
“Can I suggest something? I don’t want to upset you.”
“Of course. You can always tell me anything.” He brushed my tangled hair from my face.