I shake loose of him and scramble up the natural embankment. I look over my shoulder as I near the top and see Luke say something to Alex. I sigh in relief when he walks away, leaving Alex in one piece.
Brook prods me with a fingernail. “So what’s the story, honey-pie? You and he all made up?”
“No. He just showed up out of the blue and demanded to talk.”
“And what’s he got to say?”
“Don’t know. Haven’t really given him much of chance to say anything.”
She passes me a plate with a hot dog in a bun and some yellow potato chips. “Well I wouldn’t hang him out to dry for too long. The boys are on their second case of beer already. There’s no telling what they’ll get up to as the alcohol levels rises.”
I acknowledge her warning and move to the nearest table, sitting next to my father.
“Hi Daddy. You catch anything?”
He plays with a chip, his forehead creased in thought.
“Daddy?”
“What’re you doin’, Charlie?” He turns his eyes on me. I’ve seen my dad upset, sad, and annoyed on many occasions, but I’ve rarely seen him angry. It takes me a moment to register that his anger is directed at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean here you’ve got a man, a good man, interested in marrying you and you’re going to throw it all away for some hotshot who’s going to end up disappointing you.”
It’s like I’m fourteen again and he’s yelling at me about getting my schoolwork done on time. I flush, embarrassed and hurt.
“That
man
,” he spits the word out like it’s something he found at the bottom of the lake, “can’t make you happy. You’re not your sister. You don’t belong with
those people
.” He pulls a disgusted face.
“You don’t know him,” I say, softly.
He waves a hand in front of his face. “They’re all the same. Placing value on things rather than people.”
“But Ken’s not that way, he loves Paige and--”
“One in a million. I’ll admit, your sister got lucky. But you. You’re different, Charlie. You
want
to be here, with all of us. You understand the importance of family. Do you really think you could give us up, like your sister’s done?”
I place a hand against my mouth, pained by the way he’s talking about Paige.
“I love your sister to pieces. I’d do anything to make her happy.” His voice is gentler now. “She wanted to be free of Harlow, free of her loud family and her humble roots and I gave that to her. I let her move on without guilt or my own reservations about the life she’s chosen because I knew she’d never be happy here with us.”
My throat is dry and it hurts when I swallow. I look over and meet Alex’s dark eyes. He’s watching our little exchange from his spot on a downed tree trunk. He looks more scared now than when he saw me on the date with Luke. I guess he knows firsthand, the pull a parent can have on their child’s decision.
I look down at my plate. “I can’t be with Luke.”
My father exhales loudly. “I know. I can’t pretend like I’m not disappointed, but I understand that you can’t follow where your heart doesn’t lead. I just… I don’t want to see you unhappy. This guy--” He inclines his head toward Alex. “--he’s got you all twisted up inside. I don’t like it.”
“I know.”
“Find someone closer to home.”
“Like who? Cousin Barry?” I joke, referencing my first cousin’s very inappropriate infatuation with me.
My dad raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. “They should’ve sent that one to therapy at birth,” he says.
“It doesn’t matter anyway, Daddy,” I say, picking at my food. “Alex is…we’re not together anymore.”
My father visibly relaxes. For some reason the sight of his shoulders loosening makes me feel worse. It feels like everyone we know is determined to keep us apart. And they’ve succeeded.
“Just promise me,” my dad says, taking my hand, “that whoever you end up with, they’re going to share your values, and make you the most important thing in their life. Because that’s what my little girl deserves.”
He pauses, leaning in closer. “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, sweetheart, but I think it’s for the best. You’re going to find someone too, Charlie. You’ll see.”
I want to say I already have, but the words are muzzled when he leans forward and embraces me, placing a kiss on my cheek. His familiar stubble tickles me just the way it has all my life.
“I love you, Daddy,” I whisper in his ear, holding him tight.
He releases me, smiles, and stands to join the boys as they look happily on the rows of fish lying on ice in the largest cooler.
Alex is still sitting on his log. He looks comical in his dirty business attire. I don’t know why he can’t just leave me alone. His path was laid out long before we met and unless he’s willing to go off-road, there’s no point in either of us putting ourselves through another painful goodbye. I leave my uneaten food on the table and head in his direction.
“Ramirez,” I say, walking briskly to his right. “Follow me.”
The back end of the canoe bobs gently in the lapping waves. I motion for him to get in. “I’ll shove off.” I point at my cowboy boots. His dress shoes and the bottom three inches of his pants are pretty well caked in mud.
“Are you just going to stand there all day, or are you going to get in the damn boat?” I ask.
“Alright.” He steps gingerly into the small craft and turns, sitting down on the bow seat.
I dig my boots in the soft earth and push until the boat is fully in the water. Grabbing the hand hold and side panel, I jump inside and take the stern seat. Paddling is easy when the water's calm. I take us out fifty yards before pulling the oars inside. The mild current will float us downstream.
“Alright. Talk.”
Alex locks his fingers together, an amused smile on his face. “You know what I love about you?”
“Don’t.” I hold my hand before me. I can’t hear the word love come out of his mouth without risking my sanity.
He starts again, more humbly this time. “Do you know what I like about you?”
I stare back.
“I never know which Charlie I’m going to get.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heat creeps up my chest.
“Like right now, I’m getting aggressive, in control Charlie. Last time we met--”
I wince at the memory.
“--I got angry, riled up Charlie.”
“And which is your favorite?” I twist my mouth in a frown.
His grin evolves slowly and his dimples, which never fail to soften me, wink at me. “I think I prefer quiet Charlie.”
I slap my hands down on the wooden seat, outraged.
“Quiet Charlie lets me kiss her...undress her. She doesn’t fight or argue when I steal a taste of her mouth or when my fingers get caught in her hair.”
The pulse beneath my shirt accelerates. His words invade every part of me. Not just my ears but also my lips. They part without my permission as my eyes hold his gaze, mesmerized.
“These last few weeks…” His smile disappears and he searches the water outside the boat for the right words. “I feel empty without you. I go to work, go home, hang out with friends and every minute I feel like there’s this giant hole inside.” He splays his fingers across his chest. He looks down. “If I’m honest, I’ve felt like this since the morning I woke up in that hotel room, and saw you had disappeared. I laid in bed for five minutes, wondering if you’d been a dream.”
A wave of lust and longing courses through me.
“I need you, Charlie. I need you in my life.”
I push down the happiness building inside and ask the only question I need an answer to. “Are you going to marry her?”
His eyes meet mine, wide, serious, and unyielding.
I bend over and grasp an oar, ready to take us back to shore and put an end to these games.
“Wait.” He stands in a crouched position to maneuver himself closer to me. He steps over the yoke rod and, quite suddenly, I’m overcome with rage.
How dare he say these things when he knows what’s it’s doing to me.
I pick up the oar and swing it at him. It connects with his right side and he tumbles over, disappearing with a splash off the side of the boat. I look over the edge, searching for him. He doesn’t come up. No, no, no… this can’t be happening!
What have I done?
I move to the other side, rocking the small canoe as I scan the water frantically. What if he can’t swim? What if he’s down there, drowning right now? I don’t think, don’t hesitate further and leap into the freezing cold water. I dive in and open my eyes but the water’s too murky to see. I come up, gulping for air. “Alex!” I yell, spinning in the water.
“I can’t believe you tried to kill me.” The voice comes from behind, near the floating canoe. I turn and my eyes land on a mess of wet, black hair and a mischievous mouth set in a wide, playful smile.
I swim toward him and grab hold of the boat. “You were faking?” My heart pounds loudly in my ears. “I thought you were drowning!”
His laugh is full and rowdy, like he hasn’t done it in weeks. I shove his shoulder with my free hand, pissed he’s taking my near -homicidal antics so lightly.
“First, you knock me off the boat. Now you’re hitting me. I think unbalanced Charlie just joined the party.” He laughs.
The adrenalin surging through my system heightens my emotions and I find myself giggling hysterically with him. His eyes, which have been so drawn since he showed up at my dad’s house this morning, are crinkled with happiness. And it only took me almost killing him to like him again.
Alex adjusts the hand holding onto the canoe and comes within a few inches of me. My ears ring from the fright I felt when I thought I killed him. I’m not sure if it’s the lingering terror or his nearness, but my heart practically leaps out of my chest. His hand, cold and wet, cups the side of my face. “Your lips are turning blue.” He drags his thumb across my cheek.
I shiver and lean forward almost imperceptibly. He pulls himself close enough that each small wave causes our bodies to touch. I place the hand still in the water against his back, holding him to me. His breath warms my chilled skin as he moves forward, and claims my lips in a hesitant kiss. I pull back, a flood of emotions running through me. How can this possibly end well, for either of us?
“I love you.”
I’m so focused on his eyes it takes a moment to realize what he’s said.
“I love you,” he repeats.
I watch the words form on his lips and, because I can’t deny that I love him too, I kiss him. The kiss is more tender and more dangerous than any we’ve shared. I put every ounce of hope I possess behind it.
Too late, I remember Amber’s divine warning. I’ve gone and gotten my boots wet.
Chapter Eleven
Twenty Days Until Barry Punches the Band Leader in the Face
“You’re in luck,” I pull a pair of boxers out of my dresser drawer and toss them to Alex. “I knew you’d left a pair last time you…uh.” I blush at the memory of the last time he was in my apartment. He’d driven all the way to Harlow after a bad day in court and I let him prosecute me all over the couch.
He’s drenched, dirty, and smiling at me.
Lord, give me strength.
After our little dip in the lake, we were forced to leave the fishing expedition. Freezing cold and chilled to the bone is not how you want to spend a Sunday afternoon. Wade drove us back to the trailer park on the pretense that he’d left the third case of beer sitting on the front porch. As the designated driver he had the vital job of keeping his brothers shit-faced and happy.
When we pulled up to Alex’s car, Wade exclaimed he’d forgotten he’d stashed the case beneath a shady tree and hadn’t needed to return after all. When I hopped out of the cab, my boots squelching from the water inside them, he winked at me.
Now that we’re here…alone…in my bedroom, I’m wishing I had my own excuse for getting in the car and driving away. Kissing him in the lake after he said,
“I love you,”
twice, is one thing. Subjecting myself to his charms when he’s about to be nearly naked is another. He still hasn’t given me an answer about whether or not he’ll go through with marrying Cadence.
“I need to change.” I back away from him. “There’re towels in the bathroom,” I say, pointing toward the closed door.
Alex moves reluctantly to the bathroom and pulls the door open. It clicks shut behind him and I let out a small sigh of relief. I work my soggy t-shirt over my head. The long-sleeved shirt beneath it comes off as well and I throw both into the hamper. Alex’s dull dress shoes sit beside my sodden cowboy boots on the floor. A swell of panic starts in my belly at the thought of Amber’s warning.
My wet jeans prove difficult to remove. Eventually I work my legs free and my socks, underwear and bra follow the jeans into the dirty laundry. Gooseflesh covers my body head to toe as I tiptoe to the door leading to the bathroom and pull my thin cotton dressing-robe from the hook there. I hear Alex on the other side, changing into the only clean, dry clothes I have that will fit him. A pair of blue plaid boxer shorts.
I wrap the robe around me just in time. The door swings open revealing Alex, his hands full of wet clothes. “Sorry,” he says, grinning.
He probably thinks I’ve been peeping at him through the keyhole.
“I-I was just getting my robe from the back of the door.”
His eyes travel down my body. I know my nipples, hard from the cold, are standing firm beneath the soft fabric. His gaze settles on them briefly.
“Here.” I reach for his clothes. “Give those to me.” I throw them on top of mine and look at him over my shoulder.
There’s a dangerous amount of caramel-colored skin displayed, complete with manly black, neat chest hair. His broad, muscular shoulders are taut with anticipation. I don’t even bother trying to hide the fact that I’m staring at him like a piece of meat. The moment goes on too long.
He places both hands on his tapered hips and his abs and pectorals contract. One big foot moves toward me and I jump, needing to get out of here immediately or risk finding myself underneath him, rather than closer to the answer I so desperately need.