Playing Patience (27 page)

I set the beer on the counter and cautiously walked to the couch. I stood above the guitar, finding it hard to open the case and look inside. I think part of me knew that inside was something that would be the equivalent of a kick in the balls. Leaning over, I ran my hand over the letter Z embroidered into the top of the case in bright red. I popped the locks on the side and flipped the lid open.

Inside was a black, 1967 Fender, and while that was enough to make me drop to my knees in front of my couch, it was the bits and pieces of my old guitar that did the trick. The minute I saw the piece with my mother’s signature, tears filled my eyes and for the first time in a very long time, I let them fall.

I swiped angrily at my eyes and shut the case. Snatching it up, I took it and the rest of my stuff to my car, setting the case up front with me. Bits of rock and dust flew from my back tires as I peeled out of my dad’s yard. I texted her two times on the way to her house, but she never responded.

I didn’t remember the ride across town. It was as if I’d driven to the ritzy side on auto pilot. I was stuck inside my head and in a rush to get to Patience—to tell her I was sorry and beg for her forgiveness. I wasn’t good enough for her and I still wouldn’t drag her down to my level, but knowing she was walking around with a broken heart because of me didn’t sit well. Especially considering what she’d given me.

Other than my guitar, she’d given me hope in a hopeless place. She’d given me light when I’d been stuck in the dark so long. She’d done so much for me, and how did I repay her? By hurting her, ripping her heart out and taking a bite out of it. I was the lowest of low.

When I got to her driveway, I cut my loud engine. I climbed out of my car and made my way across the freshly manicured lawn to the front door. Standing at the front door of the governor’s mansion felt wrong, but at that point I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of running into him. Not until he opened the door and peered at me with those familiar hateful stare did I even think about him at all. He leaned his body against the doorframe and crossed his arms.

“Ah, my friend, Zeke. What can I do for you, young man?” His smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I need to talk to Patience,” I said with some force.

He needed to know I was serious.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I asked Patience to stay away from you and I’d appreciate it if you stayed away from her. Plus, she’s not here.”

His eyes remained on mine while he shut the door in my face.

Two weeks later, I still hadn’t heard from Patience. She wouldn’t return any of my phone calls and she never texted me back. Megan wouldn’t even tell me anything about her. It was the worse two weeks of my life, and no amount of beer or drugs would make it better.

Twenty-Two

Patience

It had been two weeks since I last saw Zeke and I was miserable. The sick part was I honestly had nothing to be upset with him about. Technically, he hadn’t done anything wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. I was hurt and my world was slowly crumbling in on me.

My mom was dying, my father wasn’t my father, and the one person in the world that made everything feel better had hurt me worse than I’d ever been hurt. Life was looking pretty bleak, but instead of falling apart, I kept myself together, smiled on the outside, and went through my days like I had before. School, practice, and games—they’re what got me through. I played harder than I ever had before and kicked so much ass on the field that my teammates were starting to call me the beast.

I quit reading his text messages and even started ignoring Megan. I was in a bad place and had no one to help me out.

When I wasn’t at school or doing soccer stuff, I was with Mom. She was still occasionally having a good day here or there, but it wasn’t looking good.

Finally, after weeks of lying low, Megan showed up at my house.

“What the hell is up with you? I haven’t heard from you much in weeks and Zeke won’t leave me the hell alone,” she said as she flopped on my bed.

“Nothing. I’ve just been busy with school and stuff. Plus, my mom’s not doing very well.”

She changed her attitude quickly and just like that she got over me being absent from her life. I loved that about Megan. She was so forgiving and understanding.

“So what’s the deal with you and Zeke?” She grabbed a bottle of my fingernail polish from my dresser and started painting her nails.

“Nothing. We were friends and now we’re not.”

I didn’t want to talk about it and I was hoping she’d drop it. Yeah right.

“He’s a mess, Pay. You should talk to him. He says you won’t answer his texts or phone calls. What did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything. I just have too much going on in my life right now to worry about guys. Especially one like Zeke.”

She left an hour later with a promise that I’d go to The Pit with her the following Saturday night. When Saturday finally came, I went to her house and got dressed. My dad had still been lying low, but I didn’t want to walk out of the house with tight clothes and makeup on, just in case he changed his mind about not messing with me.

“Make me as sexy as you possibly can,” I said as Megan did my hair.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Absolutely.”

I left Megan’s house in a tight denim miniskirt, six-inch heels, and a halter-top that left nothing to the imagination. I felt like a naughty sex kitten and I meant to play the part right in Zeke’s face for the entire night. I wasn’t usually a revengeful person, but I wanted him to feel what I felt when I walked in his room and found him with her.

When we finally made it to The Pit, I didn’t feel my usual discomfort, which was weird considering what I was wearing. I’d gotten used to the place and the people. We went straight to the bar and ordered drinks and then we made our way to the stage.

Finn was belting out a Three Days Grace song and the crowd was eating it up. The minute my eyes landed on Zeke, I felt warm all over. Seeing him so close made me realize how much I missed him. I watched his fingers move across his guitar and I felt joy when I saw he was playing the guitar I’d given him.

He looked up from playing and scanned the crowd with the angry glare I’d come to love. At first, his eyes scanned right over me, but I knew the moment he realized I was in the crowd. Zeke never gave anything away, but I knew he’d seen me.

I drank, danced, and had a blast with Megan. The entire time, I could feel his eyes on me and I loved it. I could feel his gaze crawl across my flesh and it was turning me on. It was the weirdest thing, but I was definitely getting turned on.

I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or if I was really losing myself after being torn apart the last few weeks, but something gave me a brave streak. A guy I didn’t know came up to me and started dancing behind me and I let him. I was a little disgusted by him, but I knew Zeke was watching so I got into it like I was really enjoying myself.

After that, I flirted openly with three different guys. I was totally bored with it, but there was a lot of smiling and looking up through my lashes. I pretty much just mimicked every girl in the room. I knew my cleavage was out too much and I was aware that every time I lifted my arms most of my stomach was exposed, but I didn’t care. I made sure all those parts were available for his eyes. I brought my arms over my head and then ran them down over my breasts and abs.

I looked up at him and he glared down at me. I couldn’t tell if I was pissing him off or turning him on. I was fine with either. I picked up my bottle, looked up at him, and licked my lips before placing the bottle against my mouth. Still, his expression didn’t change.

“Girl! You are so bad!” Megan shouted next to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I grinned.

“Oh, you know what you’re doing. I just hope you can handle the wrath of Zeke when he lets loose on your ass.” She laughed.

“Please, he better hope he can handle me.”

I was definitely drunk. There was no doubt about that.

The after party was at Finn’s house and I went along with Megan. Once I was there, someone handed me a red cup of beer. Instead of going to the corner and sipping my drink like I usually would, I was in the middle of everything. I talked to people and flirted with guys. I could feel someone watching me the entire time and I knew it was him.

A guy I’d never seen before started talking to me and I was sure to smile back at him and flirt with my eyes. He was shorter than Zeke and much smaller. With light hair and light eyes, he openly checked me out and licked his lips
,
and I played right along.

“What’s your name?” he asked as he looked down my shirt.

“Patience.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He grinned.

“Thank you.”

It wasn’t long until I’d moved on and was talking to someone else. Originally, it started out as a way to get under Zeke’s skin the way he’d gotten under mine, but after getting a lot of attention, I was starting to enjoy it.

I looked around the room for Megan, and she was nowhere to be found. I walked through the garage, checking every corner and still she was nowhere. I walked inside and headed toward the bathroom. When a girl goes missing, that’s usually the best place to look. I was halfway down the hallway when I felt someone against my back. I turned around and Zeke was there looking down at me with an angry red face and pinched lips.

“Come with me,” he said as he opened a door and pulled me inside.

It was a simple guy’s room, but the décor let me know I was standing in Finn’s bedroom. A queen-sized bed covered in red bedding was in the middle of the room. A single dresser with a mirror was pushed up against the wall and covered in junk. There were clothes everywhere; the floor was barely visible.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked as he stalked closer to me.

I could hear the anger in his voice.

I liked that he was pissed off. That’s no less than what he deserved. Maybe it was because I was drunk or maybe it was because I was beyond repair and as sick and twisted as the man who raised me, but I relished in his anger. If he hated me flirting with other men, then he was getting just a taste of what I’d felt when I walked in on him and his redhead. We weren’t together, so technically he hadn’t done anything wrong, but damn, it hurt like a bitch. I wasn’t usually a revengeful person, but I wanted him to understand my pain.

“Very much,” I slurred.

“Are you getting off on making me jealous, snowflake?”

“What if I am?” I matched his stare.

“You’re playing with fire. You do realize that, right?” He moved closer.

He towered over me and I had to arch my neck to continue to look him in the eye.

“Oh, boy. I better be careful or I might get burned,” I said sarcastically.

He was backing me up and I hadn’t even realized it. When I felt the edge of Finn’s dresser against my lower back, I put my palms out and pressed against his chest. He pressed harder. Cologne bottles shook and made clinking noises as the dresser shifted.

“If I see one more fucker touch you, I’m going to lose it. You want me to go to jail again?”

He leaned over me and put his hands on the dresser on either side of me, caging me in.

“I have no control over what you do. Just like you have no control over what I do,” I said as I pressed against him and tried to move him out of my way.

He didn’t budge.

“I can’t stand seeing you with them.” The muscles in his jaw popped as he gritted his teeth. “It makes me feel like my skin is on fire.”

“I know the feeling.”

I pulled my eyes away from his and disregarded him. I acted as if I were annoyed and bored, but really, every time he pressed his body into mine I wanted to throw him on Finn’s bed and attack him.

“You’re mine,” he said with so much force that my eyes darted back to his and I looked him up and down like I was about to fight him.

“Excuse me? I belong to no one. Let me go.” I pushed again at his chest, but he was like a brick wall.

I really did want to be away from him after that. How dare he throw a claim on me while he was busy screwing anything with a wet hole? Oh hell no! That wasn’t happening.

“No,” he snapped. His eyes dug into me. “Quit flirting with those guys. You’re making promises with your eyes that you can’t keep.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed sarcastically to myself.

“They’ll live.” I turned my face away and looked to the side of me when I felt his hot breath warm my cheek. He was so close his breath shifted my hair.

“You look so fucking hot tonight,” he said.

He reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear and I pulled my head away from his hand.

“Do I?”

“Hell yeah, you do.”

The side of his mouth lifted and his eyes moved down my body and back up.

“I’m getting hard just looking at you.” He pressed his hips into me and my insides tightened.

“Then I guess you better find your redhead.”

Being a smartass felt good. No wonder he was an asshole all the time.

“Maybe I should.” He lifted a sarcastic brow.

And just like that, I went from being a smartass to being pissed off. I pushed at his chest hard with my palms. When he didn’t budge, I kept pushing.

“You’re such an asshole.” I was heated and my breath was coming out in hard, pissed-off puffs.

“Well, you’re being a bitch right now so I guess that makes us even,” he snapped.

Out of nowhere I reared my hand back and slapped him across the face. It felt good to let my anger out. Had I known it would feel that good to hit someone, I would’ve gone around beating the crap out of everyone.

His nostrils flared as he glared down at me. A tiny red handprint began to form on his cheek. Maybe I’d gone too far this time. Maybe Zeke wasn’t against hitting a girl and he’d hit me back. Instead, he grabbed my cheeks and pulled me into a rough kiss.

At first, I was shocked, but in seconds I forgot what we were doing and I started kissing him back. The dresser shifted and bottles clinked as he pushed me harder up against it. I pushed back against him.