Play the Game (15 page)

‘I can get this amazing stage make-up that will make you look all wrinkly. And we
can make your hair look grey. You’ll look awesome,’ she said enthusiastically.

‘I don’t think awesome is quite the right word.’

Jean shrugged. ‘You want to be an actor, right? So, you’ll be playing someone totally
different to you. Isn’t that kind of the point?’

‘Yeah, I suppose so,’ I said begrudgingly.

‘You see, I’m older than you. And wiser. So what I say always makes sense,’ she said.

As much as it had helped hearing Jean’s take on it, I wasn’t up to any more advice,
so I left her on the couch with her trashy TV and escaped upstairs to my room. I
slumped on my bed and started going through my script, marking all my lines. But
two pages in, I stopped. I kept getting distracted by Juliet’s lines, imagining how
I would deliver them. Okay, so the Nurse wasn’t a small part, and she was kind of
important to the story, but I still couldn’t get excited about playing her. Not yet.

I looked out at the faces of some of the cast members in the audience and suddenly
felt really shy. I had this huge speech to get out, but I couldn’t remember how it
started. I stared at the theatre lights, wishing they’d swallow me up. I’d never
felt like this before on stage, but then, I guess I’d never played such a meaty character
before. Some of the Nurse’s speeches were pretty huge, and I was still getting used
to the language.

I heard Belle cough, waiting for me to speak. She could have prompted me, instead
of making me feel awkward and shy, but it was Jackson who came to my rescue. I heard
him say the first three words of my speech really quietly behind me, and suddenly
I remembered it. Well, I thought I did. Halfway through I dried again. This time
Kerry called for a break and told me to get a drink of water and to try and relax.
Of course, that just made me feel worse.

As I went to find my drink bottle, hoping to avoid the rest of the cast, I found
Jackson backstage, sitting on the ground eating a bag of grapes.

‘You hiding?’

He shook his head, then stopped and nodded. I laughed. ‘I totally get it. Thanks for
before, by the way,’ I said.

Offering me a grape, he said,‘Happens to us all.’

‘I guess.’ I sighed. ‘This part is so hard. I thought I wanted a leading role but
then I keep getting all nervous whenever I have to give one of those long speeches.’

‘It’s probably just the language. It’s pretty hard to understand. It’s nothing like
the plays we usually do.’

I sat down next to him, realising how much I liked being back here, away from the
stage. It was dusty and quiet and all about the promise of a play, without the stress.
Maybe I should have gone for a backstage role like Mel. Jackson held out the grapes
again and I took a handful, just as Kerry called us back.

‘Already?’ I groaned.

‘You’ll be fine. Just imagine everyone else is nude.’

‘Ergh,’ I said, thinking about Belle. ‘Not helpful!’

Jackson laughed at the face I was pulling. ‘Just forget about them. That’s what I meant.
Just focus on you and your lines. Everything else will come.’

And he was right. As long as I didn’t look out at the audience, I was fine. I managed
a couple of big speeches, until Kerry cut me off.

‘You’re not projecting, Edie. You’re delivering your lines into the floor. We need
to hear you out here in the audience. Doesn’t matter if the lines aren’t perfect,
but you need to act them.’

I looked out into the audience. Even though the stage lights were shining in my eyes,
making it hard to see faces, I felt shy. I struggled through my speech and was totally
relieved when the scene ended and I could join the rest of the cast in the audience.

‘Okay, we’re going to run the death scene,’ said Kerry. Freddy, Belle, Jackson and
the rest of the cast in the scene made their way onto the stage. I felt torn. Part
of me wanted to run and the other part wanted to watch. So far I’d managed to avoid
watching Freddy and Belle together, but Jackson was on stage too, and I’d have felt
bad if I didn’t stay and support him. I just hoped Freddy and Belle wouldn’t kiss.

As the scene started, I couldn’t stop watching Freddy. He owned the part completely.
He already knew his lines and gave them such meaning and heart. I totally believed
he was in love with Juliet. He knelt next to Belle, who lay presumed dead on the
floor, held up the bottle of poison and whispered,

‘From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!

Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you

The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death!

Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!

Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on

The dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark!

Here’s to my love!’

As Freddy drank the bottle of poison, I realised I was sitting on the edge of my
seat, nervously waiting for the end of the scene.

‘O true apothecary!

Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’

Freddy bent down and kissed Belle, then pretended to die alongside her.

It’s only acting. That kiss meant nothing
, I told myself. So why did it seem so real?
Kerry’s loud applause broke the moment, and I watched as Belle sat up and Freddy
smiled tenderly at her.

‘That was great,’ said Kerry. ‘Fantastic. And enough for today!’

Freddy and Belle walked off stage together. I heard her laugh, and then saw him place
his hand on her back. I was beginning to doubt that it was
just
acting.

‘Wishing it was you playing Juliet?’ asked Jackson as he grabbed his bag from the
seat behind me.

His question made me realise he knew I liked Freddy – or maybe it was just the look
on my face, seeing them walk off together. ‘Actually, not really. I’m having enough
trouble nailing all the Nurse’s lines!’

He smiled. ‘Do you want to run lines now?’

I totally surprised myself by nodding. Here I was lusting after Freddy, while making
plans to run lines with Jackson. Talk about complicated!

I had a couple of huge speeches that were longer than anything I’d ever said on stage,
so we started with them. Jackson read the other parts and I said my lines. When he
read Juliet’s speeches, he’d put on this high-pitched voice, making me laugh so much
I struggled to get a word out.

‘You’re making it impossible!’

‘Sorry,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’ll be professional.’ But his eyes sparkled as he said
it.

‘I love the speech the Nurse gives when she thinks Juliet has died,’ I said.

Jackson nodded. ‘O woeful day?’

‘Yeah, that one. How good is it? It’s so beautiful. The rhythm. The words. The meaning.
I love it!’

Jackson immediately launched into the speech. ‘O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day!
Most lamentable day, most woeful day.’ He smiled. ‘I could definitely see myself
using that when I’d forgotten to hand in my maths assignment.’

I laughed. ‘Yeah, well, Mr Murphy is kind of scary when you hand things in late.’

‘I’ll say. He actually rang my mum the last time I was late with something. Even
she was terrified!’

I knew I should be heading home, but talking to Jackson was really great. I was missing
my best friend, and it was nice to be having fun again.

‘So if you love that speech so much, does that mean you like your role?’

I thought about it. A small part of me still wished I was playing Juliet, but I was
beginning to see that a smaller role could be fun, too. The Nurse was a key character,
and had some great speeches, but I didn’t have to be on stage the whole time. And
that was kind of a relief, especially after my weird stage fright during rehearsal.

‘Yeah, I think I do. You were right, she’s a good character.’

Jackson pretended to look shocked. ‘Never!’

My phone beeped and I pulled it out quickly, hoping for a message from Tess. But
it was just Jean, asking me what I wanted for dinner. I made a face.

‘Do you have to go?’ asked Jackson, sounding disappointed.

‘Yeah, I’d better. My sister’s cooking dinner. Well,
cooking
is probably a bit generous,
but still.’

We stood up at the same time and sort of crashed into each other. I’m not sure who
was more embarrassed, but we both jumped back at the same time, blushing.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said, rushing off.

‘Thanks for your help,’ I called after him.

Weird. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I kind of liked him. And that maybe he
liked me too. But then, if I liked Jackson, where would Freddy fit in?

Some days I ate lunch with the cast, but today I was going over my lines on my own.
Suddenly I heard a voice at my shoulder. ‘Aren’t you playing Juliet?’

I looked up, shocked. It was Tess. It took me a minute to realise I’d never told
her about the mix-up. We hadn’t spoken since I’d chosen to do the play.

I shook my head. ‘No, I’m the Nurse.’

She pulled a face. ‘You gave up netball to play a nurse?’

So she still didn’t understand. ‘Not
a
nurse.
The
Nurse. It’s a really great part.’
I realised I wasn’t just being defensive – I’d fallen in love with the part. I’d
also figured out that I wasn’t ready to play a major part like Juliet. My stage fright
was bad enough, even in a much smaller role.

‘Wow. So it wasn’t just about being Juliet – or getting closer to Freddy. You really
wanted to be in the play,’ Tess said quietly.

I nodded, even though it wasn’t strictly true. I wouldn’t have given up playing state
if I had known I was being cast as the Nurse, but once it was done, I didn’t really
feel like I had a choice.

‘How’s netball going?’ I asked, desperate for a normal conversation with my best
friend.

Tess was about to answer when Saskia appeared and grabbed her arm. ‘Come on Tess,
let’s go practice.’

I couldn’t believe Saskia was about to ruin it. I willed Tess to tell her to go practice
on her own, but instead she nodded and said,‘See you, Edie,’ with a sad look on her
face.

‘Bye,’ I said, watching them walk off. At least Tess had looked like she missed me,
and maybe wanted to talk more. That was something, wasn’t it?