The first regular season game was the following week and it was at home. There was a completely different vibe of excitement in the air and Killian’s intensity doubled. I somehow resisted the urge to throttle him the day of the game. I tried to understand, but couldn’t help feeling I would be better off at my apartment while he did his intense indifference to me being with him thing. The Scorpions won, and Killian’s after-game sex almost made up for my trampled feelings.
During the week, I immersed myself in classes, homework, and Wednesday night waitressing. Somehow, the media got wind that I worked at Tillomans and my boring weekday life became social media fodder. My manager didn’t mind, but I found it difficult to field questions from sports reporters and do my job.
Campus life wasn’t much better. Students pointed me out and brave ones asked me about my relationship with Killian.
“Is it true?”
“What’s he like in bed?”
“What did you do to rope him in?”
Were only a few of the questions I dodged. The guys didn’t approach me, but their assessing gazes made every step I took a challenge. Falling on my face was a real possibility because of the stress I felt.
“Sorry, babe, it goes hand in hand with my life. Quit your job and stay here Wednesday nights,” Killian said when I told him about work.
“I need the money, Killian.” I rolled over and placed my finger against his lips. “Don’t say it.”
He bit my finger and didn’t let it go.
“No, Killian.”
He rolled and had me beneath him, raising my hands above my head. “I hate when you tell me no.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “You hate for anyone to tell you no.”
“It’s not something I hear often, but with you it’s especially irritating.”
“Get used to it.”
“Hmm.” He tickled me until I begged him to stop.
I didn’t quit my job.
The second week of regular season was another home game, which they won. The Scorpions hit the road for their next game. I couldn’t go because I needed to complete a research project. Killian gave in grudgingly. We’d never discussed him hooking up with another woman after an away game and it ate at me during the weekend. He called Saturday night, sounding lonely, which made me feel better.
I didn’t hear from him again until Sunday after his game. We talked for more than an hour. I slept that night knowing Killian missed me and was flying in late to sleep alone in his bed that night. I didn’t discuss my insecurities with him. I knew he wouldn’t like my thinking.
The following week the team had a Monday night game, and then the Scorpions had a bye week. If I thought the excitement in the stadium amped up when regular season started, it was nothing compared to Monday night. By now, I’d ordered and read a copy of
Football for Dummies
, and didn’t need Malory to give me a play-by-play anymore. When Killian’s teammates came over to his house, I kept up with conversations, though I didn’t impart any wisdom on the subject.
I still wasn’t accustomed to the minor injuries Killian suffered, but I learned to keep my feelings to myself and kiss him all better.
The Monday night game started well, but progressively turned sour. By the end of the first half, the Scorpions were down by a touchdown, and I was getting nervous. Fights broke out in the second half and the Scorps lost by ten. To top it off, Killian threw two interceptions.
“Good luck,” Malory whispered to me before we went to the locker room.
Killian had promised to get me home before my Tuesday morning class, and without a word, he drove me to my apartment. I knew he was disappointed and angry, but his refusal to verbalize his feelings pissed me off. I didn’t wait for him to come around and open my door. I heard him following me to my door. He took the key out of my hand and opened it, still without a word.
“Killian, just go home,” I said when he closed the door behind us.
His fingers sank into my hair and his lips came down. If he wanted to punish me for his loss, the kiss did just that. Without really knowing what happened, I was on my knees while Killian unzipped his pants. He fucked my mouth, carried me to my bed, kissed my cheek and left.
I cried for an hour.
He didn’t call Tuesday night, and I fell asleep against my wet pillow. Killian MacGregor was an ass.
Wednesday I arrived at work and started my shift with a heavy heart.
Sabrina walked up to me, “Sorry, honey, but it looks like your ex-boyfriend is here.”
My ex? What the hell? Why would she think that?
I turned and Killian was holding out a chair for a woman; all I could see was the back of her long brown hair.
Sabrina continued, “He specifically asked for one of your tables and there was nothing I could do. In my opinion, the woman is too old for him, but not my problem.”
My heart was lost somewhere in my lower stomach. I really thought I was going to be sick. I squared my back, didn’t say a word to Sabrina, and walked over to confront Killian. I would probably lose my job, but I was past caring. The son of a bitch didn’t speak to me for two days after a blow job, and then showed up with another woman where I worked. I planned to leave his body with more than a few bruises.
Killian saw me walking toward him and stood. His lip quirked slightly, but his dimples barely showed. He was nervous. He damn well should be. His hand came out, but I ignored it. I only needed to be close enough to damage his face, and then I was leaving.
“Mom, I’d like you to meet Rebecca.”
Startled, I turned to Killian’s…date. Her smile was her son’s smile, though other than her lips and dimples, they looked nothing alike. She was beautiful, appeared years younger than she had to be, and I was going to murder Killian MacGregor.
“Hi, dear. Please call me Beth. Killian has told me so much about you.”
I shook her hand, turned slightly, and gave Killian my best killing glare and calmly asked if I could get them an appetizer.
Confusion showed clearly on Beth’s face.
“Sorry, Mom, but Rebecca just survived her first losing game and I owe her an apology.”
“Oh, well then, I understand. I need to find the ladies’ room and that will give the two of you a chance to talk.” She gave me a hesitant smile and walked away.
The tables near us were not occupied, though it wouldn’t have mattered. I turned the full force of my anger on my…ex-boyfriend.
“What the fuck are you doing, Killian?”
“My mother wanted to meet you.”
I took a slow, calming breath hoping I wouldn’t start crying. “And I wanted to hear your voice, talk to you, make sure you were okay. But no, you got your suck off and gave me the fuck off. How dare you show up here tonight with your mother.”
I was impressed that I managed to keep my voice relatively low.
I saw a touch of anger spark in Killian’s eyes. “I told you what being with me was like during season, Rebecca. I don’t like to lose.”
“You know what, Killian, that’s just too damn bad. I’m sorry your tricycle got mangled and messed up the shiny red paint. I’m an adult. I don’t like to lose either, but I would never do what you did.”
Killian’s eyes went over my shoulder and I knew his mother was standing behind us.
I moved slightly so she could sit down in her chair.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. MacGregor, but my break is starting and I won’t be available to serve your meal.”
I walked away and didn’t look back. I made it past the kitchen into the back storage room before I started crying. Jim, my manager, came in. He was obviously at a loss, but agreed to have another waitress cover my tables. I slipped out the back door and made it home to my apartment in one piece.
I couldn’t stop the flow of tears and had no idea what time it was when someone pounded on my door. It didn’t take much imagination to figure out it was Killian. I walked to the door, refusing to open it, and childishly told him to go home.
“I’m not going home, Rebecca. Open the damn door.”
Maybe, I thought, we needed to end this here and now. I opened the door and stepped back.
Killian walked in and turned to face me. I closed the door behind him with a resounding thud.
“I’m sorry.” His eyes showed so much hurt.
I hated myself for wanting to give in and melt against him so badly—take him in my arms and kiss him until sometime tomorrow. But I knew our relationship wasn’t going to work.
“I know you’re sorry Killian and I’m sure you’ll be sorry the next time and the next. I can’t deal with your single-minded intensity for the game. I’ve thought about it. You make me feel beautiful and I have more confidence in myself than I have since I was twelve years old.” I took a calming breath before continuing. “But, Killian, you’ve hurt me more than anyone ever has. I’m not pro-sport girlfriend material. I’m middle of the pack and happy to be there. Go home, Killian, and thank you for everything.”
He just stared at me and I could feel my eyes welling over. I didn’t want to cry in front of him, but I knew it was pointless to think I could hold them back. I moved away from the door hoping he would leave.
He took a step closer, but didn’t touch me. “I love you, Rebecca.”
I closed my eyes.
“Please don’t cry.” Fingers brushed the side of my face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I shut down. I was just going to drop you off at your house, not touch you, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m a fucking bastard, but, baby, I love you.”
I leaned forward just a bit and I was in his arms. God, I loved him, and at the same time felt a crushing pressure inside my chest. Killian picked me up and carried me to the couch.
“I love you,” he said over and over, smoothing my hair away from my face, making me cry harder.
His lips finally rested against my forehead for a moment before sitting me against the couch cushions and walking away. He came back with a box of tissues. When he tried to blow my nose, I grabbed the tissue out of his hand and did it myself.
I managed to gain control, but I needed him to know how I felt. “I can’t do this again, Killian.” I looked up at him and saw the hurt I felt reflected in his eyes. “I love you, too, and that made this so much worse.”
He kissed me. It was soft and sweet and full of promise. His arms went around me and he pulled me tight against his chest. “My mother wants you to come over for dinner this Sunday.”
“Your mother hates me.”
His chest rumbled and I clenched his shirt.
“She doesn’t hate you. The woman won’t come to any of my games. She doesn’t put up with me after losing or even before a game when I won’t talk. She told me years ago she’d knock my head into the nearest wall for my attitude. When I was in high school, she made me clean our apartment on game days. I’d scrub the bathroom floor on my hands and knees and she’d point out every spot I missed.”
I was laughing now. “I don’t think your sports psychologist is working very well, Killian.”
His hand tightened in my hair. “He is. You have no idea how bad things used to be.”
I pulled away and looked into his eyes. “Make love to me. Please don’t fuck me.”
I didn’t need to say anything else. Killian carried me to my bed and slowly took my nightshirt and panties off. He stood and removed his clothes. When he leaned down on the bed, his hands and lips worshipped my body. I kissed him whenever I could reach skin.
The slow build of my orgasm made me gasp for air. Liquid heat pooled between my legs as his fingers worked their magic. I burned until the spasms overflowed. Killian’s eyes found mine and his cock met the entrance to my still-quivering pussy.
“I love you, Rebecca.” He slid inside.
I watched him move; his hair partially covered his eyes and his lips drew into a firm line. He moved in and out with slow, measured strokes. The heat built again, or maybe it had never stopped. Killian gritted his teeth when my next orgasm shook throughout my body, but he didn’t stop.
“Please, Killian.”
“I love you, Rebecca.” His thrusts became harder, his breath more ragged.
I cried out when my body tightened again and this time he groaned loudly. Killian succeeded in making me feel loved.
But I still knew it wouldn’t last.
I woke up early with small kisses to my shoulder.
“Mmm.” It felt too good to articulate more.
“Can I fuck you now, Rebecca?” Killian’s warm breath brushed across my ear.
“Yes, please.”
And he did.
Twice.
I came out of the bathroom knowing we needed to begin our day, but his open arms were too inviting, so I crawled back in bed.
“Can we talk about what happened after my game?” Killian asked after he tucked me in close.
My body immediately stiffened. His fingers slowly smoothed over my skin until I relaxed.
“Something comes over me when things don’t go right on the field. I know you don’t want to hear excuses, but please listen?” He gave me time to object, but I didn’t say anything. “Most of the women I’m with are only around for a few weeks at most. I’ve always just wanted someone to fuck with no emotional commitment. I’ve fucked women in the locker room after a loss. I’ve never driven them home or brought one back to my house. They meant very little to me, and as you know I’m not easy to be around when I fuck up in a game.”
I controlled my breathing. He was right, I didn’t want to hear this. “I don’t want to feel the way I have the last few days. I would rather not see you on game day or after a loss.”
“Come to my mother’s house for dinner next Sunday, please?”
He wasn’t giving me answers, but I had no fight left in me. He’d loved most of it out the night before and managed to fuck away all but a few lingering doubts this morning.
I didn’t want to face his mother, but what could I do? “I’ll come to dinner.”
“And spend the weekend with me?”
“Yes, and spend the weekend with you.”
Killian let out a long breath. “I need to get home and grab my stuff for practice.”
“Okay.” I tried to keep the sadness out of my voice, but it didn’t fool him.
“May I spend the night tonight?”
“Yes.” I gave him a sweet smile.
I watched him dress. His kiss before he walked out the door was much too brief. Sexually frustrated, I lay in bed for another ten minutes before I went for my run. It was later than I liked and heat rolled off the cement, but I needed my running high.
Killian spent the night Thursday then picked me up on Friday. It was his bye week and he acted more relaxed than he had since the season started.
“I want to take you out to dinner.” His eyes traveled over my body like he hadn’t seen it in weeks instead of hours.
My inner thighs ached and I clenched them tightly, noticing Killian’s smile when I did it.
“Someday I’ll cook for you, but yes, I’d love to go out.”
We stopped at his house so he could change into something more formal and I could put on the other dress he bought me in Seattle. I looked in his closet and saw more than the dry-cleaned dress I already wore and the one I planned to wear tonight. All of them were there. Each dress I had tried on in Seattle.
“Killian.”
His arms closed around me, his lips feathering kisses across my neck. “I love you and that means I can buy you things. Wear the one with the high slit on the side.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you love me.”
“You cannot buy me things.”
He turned me and tipped my chin up. His sexy dimpled grin made me dizzy. “Can too.” The childish words were incredibly sexy with his deep voice. I fought my smile, but it escaped right before he kissed me.
I wore the indecent dress with the side slit and blushingly put up with Killian’s roving hands the entire night.
It was the best weekend Killian and I had spent together. He was loving, fun, and just about fucked my brains out. But that was all before we went to his mother’s.
She greeted us at the door of a beautiful house in a large, sprawling neighborhood in Glendale. Orange trees peppered her property and it seemed immensely cooler than the section of Phoenix where I lived. Not as much asphalt, I guessed.
This time she pulled me into her arms for a hug. “Thank you for forgiving my son. Maybe you should have held off another week. It would have served him right. Beat him over the head with a frying pan if he pulls his game-loss pouty behavior again.”
Killian kissed his mother’s cheek. “Thanks, Mom. I know I can always count on you.”
She laughed and I saw her “Killian” dimples again. Or, I guess, Killian’s were “Beth” dimples.
“Your brother knows you’re coming and he’s excited. Go visit while I talk to Rebecca.”
Killian looked over his shoulder as he walked from the room. “Remember…Amanda? Shoe size?”
I blushed.
Killian laughed and continued down the hallway. I’d forgotten about his brother. I had no idea how old he was, but I guessed still young enough to live at home.
“Come on, dear. Ignore my son. I’m so glad you’re here. I’m preparing dinner, if you don’t mind keeping me company.”
“Thank you, Mrs. MacGregor.”
“Beth.”
“Thank you, Beth.”
The kitchen was enormous and just as lovely as the rest of the house.
“Killian picked this house out for me because of the kitchen. I’m sure you know by now that he can’t boil water. Have you met, Marty?”
“No, he and I seem to miss each other.”
I blushed again. I’d almost said I was only at Killian’s on the weekends.
Beth didn’t seem to notice. “I stopped going to Killian’s games years ago. It was too hard to work out scheduling details when he played in college. Then after he went pro, too brutal. I can’t handle seeing someone cause my son pain. You know tennis would have been the perfect sport for him.”
I had to laugh.
“My son tells me you’re a runner.”
“Yes, ma’am. I run for the state team.”
“With a scholarship and everything.” She gave me a proud look that took me by surprise.
“Yes, I was lucky back in high school.”
“I know that’s a lie. Colleges don’t give scholarships because of luck.” She didn’t let me argue. “So do you plan on staying in the valley after college?”
“Yes, my parents live here, and my sister.”
“Oh, Killian didn’t mention you have a sister.”
I blushed again. Like I would explain how Killian and I met. Not! “Killian didn’t tell me about his brother either,” I said to change the subject.
The look on Beth’s face changed and a bit of anger flashed in her eyes. “I’m sorry…you need to meet Michael, he’ll be joining us for dinner. I’ll have a few words with my son on the phone this week and clear up his future problems in regards to the subject of Michael.”
I had no idea what I’d walked into, but it wasn’t good.
“Come on and I’ll make introductions. His nurse will be here this evening, but for now we’re on our own.”
I followed Beth as she walked with purposeful strides to the back of the house. I heard Killian’s voice as we drew closer to the door.
Using a tone I’d never heard before, he said calmly, “You’re going to love her, buddy. She’s tall and beautiful…”
Killian looked at Beth and me when we walked in. My eyes went to the wheelchair where Killian’s brother sat with a blanket on his lap. His small, thin hands curled unnaturally in front of him. His head was propped up by a brace at the top of the chair. His lips tilted downward. He watched Killian, but attempted to turn our way when Beth spoke. Killian stood, shifting the chair slightly.
“Michael, this is Rebecca, Killian’s friend.” Beth’s voice was soft.
Michael made a small, inarticulate noise and I could do nothing but smile. At the same time my heart broke. This was Killian’s brother and he’d never told me anything about him.
“I was just giving Michael the low down on my girlfriend and hadn’t gotten around to the good parts yet.”
“And you won’t, Killian Allan MacGregor,” Beth snapped, though she smiled at the same time.
“I wasn’t going into full detail. I wanted to tell him about her blue eyes, long legs, and grouchy behavior when she’s tired.”
Killian loved his brother. It was so obvious, but I couldn’t help feeling left out because he hadn’t said a word about Michael.
“I’ll finish cooking and leave you to become better acquainted.” Beth walked out.
“Sit here, Rebecca, and I’ll turn his chair so he can see us both.”
I sat on the bed, Killian turned the chair, and Michael became animated.
“He wants you to hold his hand.”
I leaned forward and put my fingers over Michael’s. They were cold, but he stopped fidgeting as soon as I touched him. His lips tilted just slightly into what had to be a grin.
“I told you you’d like her, buddy.”
“I like you, too, Michael.” How could anyone not?
“I need to catch him up on my games.”
Killian began a play-by-play of his last two games. The first was easy because he won, but I heard his voice tighten when he talked about his loss. The smile left Michael’s face and he seemed to understand Killian’s pain over losing.
“That son of a bitch sucker punched me in the pileup, but Blitz took him down on the next play.”
Killian didn’t leave anything out. He told about his good plays and the interceptions.
“Next week, we’re out of town…”
Killian talked until his mother came in and told us dinner was ready. He pushed Michael’s chair to the empty spot at the table. Michael wasn’t fed; Beth explained he ate through a feeding tube.
“He likes to sit out here with us. He has two nurses that take revolving shifts, but Sundays they take off until the evening. It’s nice when football is in off-season because Killian eats here on Sundays and helps me out.”
Seeing Killian’s family was eye opening. No one mentioned his father, but seeing the three of them together, I felt the love they shared. My emotions were a jumbled mess by the time we said goodbye.
Killian MacGregor had some explaining to do.