Authors: Hannah Downing
“Are you worried about that?”
“Very much,” he said, a sad look crossing his face.
I curled my leg over his hip and scooted as close to his body as I could. I rested my face next to his so our noses were touching.
“I love you. I probably don’t tell you enough, but I love you.”
The corners of his mouth turned up, and he nodded. “I do know that, but thank you for saying it,” he whispered before softly pressing his lips to mine.
I allowed myself to melt into him, but I couldn’t shake the image of Cameron at his parents’ house this evening. I pulled away and sat up, hugging my knees to my chest.
“Are you ready to head home?” I asked, hoping he’d agree so we wouldn’t have to talk about this any more.
“Sure.” He stood and held out his hand to help me up. He pulled me effortlessly to my feet and draped his arm over my shoulders as we walked back to the car.
We drove home in silence. I was lost in my thoughts, and Owen knew that when I needed to think, he wouldn’t get much conversation from me. He’d learned just to let me be. He parked in the driveway at my dad’s, and as we walked up the steps to the house, Owen slipped his hand into mine and stroked his thumb over the back of my hand.
I smiled. Owen always knew how to reassure me without words. He could sense when I was upset or stressed and knew the right way to comfort me with a smile or a gentle touch.
The house was dark, and once inside, we walked quickly and quietly up the stairs so we didn’t disturb my dad.
“I’m going to have a quick shower,” Owen said. He kissed my forehead and disappeared into the bathroom.
I went into the bedroom, changed into my pajamas, and climbed into bed. I thought back over the past few hours, and I felt myself becoming angry. I couldn’t believe how Cameron had behaved. I’d never seen him so angry, and it unnerved me. Why did he even care if I was with Owen? He’d decided long ago he didn’t want
me
anymore. Hadn’t he? I still couldn’t believe he’d mouthed those words to me as we left. And I never would’ve guessed his silent words could affect me so much.
In my mind I saw his lips again and watched as he mouthed
“I still love you.”
I sighed and rolled onto my side, cuddling the spare pillow to my chest. The bedroom door opened, and Owen walked in wearing a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Hey,” he said with a smile.
“Hey yourself,” I said, pushing the thoughts of Cameron away.
He had a wicked glint in his eye, and I knew immediately what he was thinking. He stalked toward the bed like he was hunting me and dropped the towel before climbing onto the bed on his hands and knees.
“What are you doing?” I giggled, squirming as he laid his body on top of mine and kissed my neck.
“Claiming what’s mine,” he growled.
He worked his way up my throat to my mouth, and I parted my lips for him. Our tongues moved together for a moment, but I froze when I heard a creak on the stairs. Suddenly I was painfully aware of my father in the next room. I pressed my hand to Owen’s bare chest, pushing him off me.
“Owen.”
“Mm-hmm?” Undeterred, he reached down to unbutton my top.
“Can we…not?”
He looked confused before lying down next to me with a disappointed look on his face. I almost reconsidered, but the ick factor was just too strong.
“Why?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair splayed out on the pillow.
“It’s not that I don’t want to — you know I do. It’s just…well, my dad is in the next room.”
Owen chuckled and pulled me into his arms. “You’re twenty-eight years old, Char. I think Michael knows you’ve had sex,” he said, laughing.
“I know that. It’s just…well…what if he heard us?” I asked, mortified.
Owen kissed me lightly and climbed under the blanket, snuggling against me once he was settled.
“Okay, but when we get our own place, we’re going to do it every single night for a month.”
“Deal.” I tilted my head back and pressed my lips to his.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“Love you more,” he replied.
Owen often replied to my declarations of love that way, and it made me wonder if it was true. Did he love me more than I loved him? I wasn’t sure.
“Goodnight, baby,” he said, kissing the top of my head and reaching over to switch off the bedside lamp.
“Goodnight,” I whispered as I snuggled into his chest.
***
I walked along a beach. The wind was warm, which was unusual for this time of year, but it was so nice I didn’t question it. The sun shone in a bright purple sky, and the white sand was fluffy beneath my bare feet, as if I walked on clouds.
“I love you,” a voice whispered. I looked over to find Owen walking next to me.
I smiled at him and looked down. His fingers were entwined with mine, but I didn’t remember him taking my hand.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” I asked him, dropping his hand and spinning around to take in the view.
Owen nodded and watched me twirling in the sand.
“Look how beautiful the water is,” I said, running to the shoreline.
The water lapped at the white sand, and the sun’s rays bounced off the surface, shooting tiny rainbows through the air.
“Don’t go near the water,” Owen called in an alarmed voice.
“But it’s so pretty. I’ll just walk in the shallows,” I assured him, taking a step forward and allowing the waves to lap at my feet. “The water is warm!”
“Charlotte, please come back up here with me where it’s safe!” Owen begged, tears streaming down his face.
I turned to look at him, confused by his reaction, but it appeared to be very important to him that I stay out of the water, so I lifted my foot to walk back onto the dry sand.
Suddenly, the sky went dark, storm clouds swirled overhead, and the water turned ice cold. It swelled around my feet, and I wasn’t able to step up onto the sand.
“Help me,” I called to Owen.
But he just looked at me sadly and shook his head.
“I warned you,” he whispered.
The water rose quickly around me, and I shook from fear and cold. The icy water was now up to my waist.
“Owen, please! I need you!” I called, holding my arms out, begging him to save me.
“I love you,” he called sadly, dropping a single violet-colored rose in the sand.
“Owen!”
The water moved toward my shoulders, and my feet no longer touched the bottom. The current threw me around, and I had no control. My legs thrashed wildly beneath me, but I couldn’t swim to shore. Owen was just a small dot on the horizon now.
The freezing, salty water sucked me under, and I held my breath to stop it from flooding my lungs. I swam fiercely, and my head broke the surface. I looked frantically for Owen, but he was gone.
The current pulled me under again, and I could feel myself sinking, no matter how hard I tried to kick back to the surface. My lungs were burning and in desperate need of oxygen. I held my breath as long as I could, but the burning was too much. My lips parted, and icy water rushed into my lungs.
***
I woke suddenly and gasped for breath before I realized my lungs weren’t filling with ocean water, and I was safely tucked into bed. Owen still slept soundly next to me. I shifted to get into a more comfortable position and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling, the dream still fresh in my mind.
What did it mean? Why hadn’t Owen tried to save me? I looked at his sleeping form next to me. He was so peaceful — his eyelashes fluttering slightly and his chest rising and falling rhythmically.
I traced his stubbly jawline with my fingers, allowing them to run softly over his lips and then down his throat. He sighed, and his arm came around me, pulling me against his body, our legs entwining. I closed my eyes as I lay against his chest and allowed myself to fall back to sleep.
CLICK CLICK CLICK
I opened my eyes and looked around the room, confused. I could hear Owen’s deep breathing next to me, and I relaxed slightly. I snuggled into his side, thinking the noise must have been an insect outside or the creaking of the loose floorboard on the staircase.
CLICK CLICK
Okay, that was definitely a noise.
I rolled out of Owen’s arms and sat up as quietly as I could. While I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t waking up, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. Owen rolled over and clutched my pillow to his chest, burying his face in the softness.
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
The noise seemed to be coming from the window, and I walked over slowly to see if there was a branch tapping the glass. Just as I reached the window another
CLICK
sounded, and I saw a small object hit the glass.
I looked out and saw a single violet-colored rose on the lawn, directly below my window. My breath stilled in my throat as suddenly it all seemed familiar — the sound, the rose…
…CLICK CLICK
I threw the blankets off and grabbed my robe, tying it on as I rushed over to the window. I pulled it open and stuck my head out into the cool night air. I smiled when I saw, directly below my window on the lawn, a single violet-colored rose.
“Cam?” I whispered into the night, trying not to wake my parents who were asleep in the next room.
He stepped out from behind a tree with a bunch of roses, which he held up in the air as if presenting them to me.
My heart beat frantically in my chest at the sight of him, just as it did every time he was near me. Seeing him standing with a bunch of roses gave me hope that he might like me as much as I liked him. I’d been hoping for weeks that our friendship might progress into something more intimate, but every time I thought he was about to kiss me, he’d pull back. I’d been starting to lose hope — until now.
“I’ll come down,” I whispered, a joyous grin breaking over my face.
I couldn’t believe I was so happy about Cameron sneaking over. We’d met a few weeks earlier in a coffee shop in Hartford when we were forced to share a table because it was so busy. We’d done the polite chit-chat thing and discovered we both lived in Fairfield. His family had moved a few months before, and even though he was twenty-one and could have stayed in San Diego alone, he’d decided to move with them.
We’d agreed to see each other again for coffee the following week, and we got along very well. Being with Cameron was easy, and I found myself telling him things I’d never shared with anyone. I fell for him quickly and had been in a state of near-constant happiness since we started seeing each other daily.
I was almost a year out of high school and hadn’t really found any direction in my life. My mother was pressuring me to start college, and my father was trying to convince me to go to the police academy. College had sounded like a pretty good idea until I found Cameron, but now the thought of leaving Fairfield for four years was unbearable.
I opened my bedroom door as quietly as I could. It made a slight creaking sound when I had it about half open, so I held it steady and squeezed myself through the gap without opening it any further. Tiptoeing down the stairs, I brushed my fingers through my hair and tried to make it look neat before opening the front door and slipping outside.
Cameron stood on the steps with a big grin to match the one on my face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had to tell you something,” he said, taking a few steps toward me and handing me the roses. Their sweet scent floated up around me, and I breathed it in deeply.
“What is it?” I took a step closer so we were only a few inches apart.
Cameron looked down into my eyes and cupped my face in his hands. A shiver ran down my spine as I stared up at him, completely mesmerized.
“I…um, I think I love you. Well, I know I do.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Charlotte,” he finished with a goofy smile.
I stared up into his beautiful face, stunned. I’d never dreamed he might be feeling the same way.
“I love you, Cameron.”
His hands fell from my face and wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. We gazed into each other’s eyes as his lips moved achingly slowly toward mine.
“I want to kiss you,” he said breathlessly, turning his face slightly so our noses wouldn’t bump. His lips stopped only an inch from mine.
I nodded eagerly, and my eyes fluttered closed just as his soft lips pressed against mine. My whole body melted into his, and my legs turned to jelly. If his arms hadn’t been holding me so tightly, I knew I would’ve fallen over. Our mouths moved together hungrily, and when my lips parted slightly, I felt his warm tongue moving across my bottom lip. As it slipped inside my mouth, he let out a low moan, and I let the roses drop to wrap my arms around his neck, weaving my hands into his hair and pulling his face as close to mine as possible.
I’d kissed boys before, but I’d never experienced anything like this. It was as if we were communicating, expressing ourselves more clearly than we could with words.
When we finally broke apart, he peppered tiny kisses on my lips, my cheeks, and my eyelids before pulling away completely.
“Does this mean we’re going steady now?” he joked…
I stared down at the rose, knowing it could only mean one thing: Cameron was outside. I felt anxious anticipation shiver up my spine as I opened the window.
“Cam?” I whispered as quietly as I could so as not to wake Owen.
He stepped out from behind the tree and gave me a small wave. He appeared to be nervous. His shoulders were hunched, and he wasn’t making eye contact.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed angrily.
“I need to talk to you.”
“No. Just go away. You’ll wake up my father.”
“Please, Char, two minutes,” he begged.
I didn’t know what to do. I could go down there and talk to him or I could close the window, go back to bed, and risk him knocking on the door and waking everybody up, which would make the whole situation much worse.