Phil and the Ghost of Camp Ch-Yo-Ca (7 page)

JOHN LUKE RUSHES OUT
of the dining hall ten minutes later. He’s out of breath and wide-eyed and looks both amused and freaked out.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s trouble, Papaw Phil. I gotta get you back to the Duck Commander warehouse right away.”

“What do you mean?”

“We have to save Dad and Uncle Si.”

“Willie and Si?” you ask. “What have they done now?”

“It’s a long story, so I’ll tell you on the way. We need to go home right now.”

You follow John Luke, wondering what he heard on the phone. Once you’re in the Jeep, speeding away from the camp, you question him again.

“Want to explain to me what’s happening?”

“Yeah. We’re gonna find a time machine in the warehouse,” John Luke says. “We need to open the door as soon as we can so Dad and Uncle Si can get out before it takes them back into danger.”

“Are you joking with me?” you ask.

“No, sir.”

“So why do we have to do this again?”

John Luke is talking so fast it takes a lot to keep up with him. You can’t remember the last time you saw him this passionate and animated.

“Because right now they’re in the future. And they’re in big trouble.”

“The
future
?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That makes no sense.”

“I know. But I know it’s true.”

“Why’s that?” you ask.

“Because
 
—because I was on the phone with this guy who had a lot of information. His name is Raymond. And he seemed to know what he was talking about.”

You shake your head. “I think everyone in this state has gone
Looney Tunes
tonight.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” John Luke says.

He pulls up in front of the warehouse, and you both
hurry inside. You have no idea what’s going on here, but you can’t help being curious. And sure enough, right in front of you is something that looks like an outhouse.

No, that
is
an outhouse.

“John Luke
 
—that’s no time machine. It’s something you use to go potty in,” you tell him, just in case he’s too modern to recognize it. But you have to admit, this outhouse gives you a weird feeling, like the universe is shaking around you. Maybe there’s something to what John Luke is saying.

“Not this one,” he says. “Trust me. It looks just like Raymond said. And we have to open it.” But he hesitates for a second.

You shake your head, sigh, and let out a laugh. “Let’s get this over with.” You step forward and bang on the door. You’ve never entered an outhouse without knocking first.

There’s no answer, so you pull on the handle, but the door seems to be locked.

You eye the complicated-looking control panel on the door. You start pressing random buttons and feel an electric jolt run up your arm. As the door opens, the bulb-like antennas on top of the outhouse begin flashing, and you’re blinded by a bright-white light.

You have no idea what’s about to happen to you.

Your story continues in “Unknown Year” in
Willie’s Redneck Time Machine
.

GHOSTS AND STRANGE NOISES
you can handle, but hordes of spiders? Better call for backup. Willie and Si tell John Luke they’ll come as soon as they can, but who knows how long that will be.

“Let’s see if the lake is covered while we wait,” you suggest.

“I don’t think Dad even believes me,” John Luke says, pocketing his phone. “But I knew Uncle Si would be up for this.”

“Wait till Willie gets here. He’ll believe you then.”

Snowy-white cobwebs coat the trees lining the hill on the way to the lake. As you walk along, your boots picking up lines of the sticky stuff with each step, the lake comes into view. It’s entirely covered, just like you suspected it would be.

“Look at that, John Luke,” you say. “God made them spiders. Can’t they create pretty pictures?”

The webs shimmer in the faint wind.

“I’m tempted to dive in there,” John Luke says.

“I don’t know. You might want to be careful about those webs.”

John Luke steps out onto the wooden dock that juts into Bluff Springs Lake. Even as he does this, he’s clearing away the stringy white stuff that’s covering the platform.

John Luke takes off his shirt and tosses it aside. “I’m hot.”

You don’t think this is such a good idea. “I’m not sure about getting in that lake.”

“Dad’s probably not gonna be here for another hour. It’ll be cool to dive into those webs, and it looks like the spiders are all gone. But tell me if you see any more spiders coming.”

He climbs onto the railing around the dock and stands.

“John Luke . . .”

“It’s gonna be like jumping into the clouds! Here. Let me take a selfie.”

“You and your generation with its selfies. Sounds like some kind of communicable disease. Got a bad case of the selfies.”

You watch as John Luke balances himself on the wooden rail while he takes a picture of his face. Then he jumps back onto the dock and hands you his phone.

“Time to dive into some cotton candy.”

He climbs up again and launches himself toward the water. He cuts through the cobwebs, making a nice round hole in the sheer covering as he splashes into the lake.

Something suddenly pops out of the water and the web covering, but it’s not John Luke.

It’s some kind of spider. And it’s huge.

And it can walk on water
 
—well, on the webs covering the water.

It’s not just walking, though. It’s streaking . . . right toward where John Luke went under.

Do you jump into the water to help John Luke?
Go here
.

Do you lean over the railing and scream for him to get out of the water?
Go here
.

“SLOW DOWN, JOHN LUKE.”

Man, I should be behind the wheel.
It’s not that you’re being overprotective. John Luke has a tendency to do things like overturn vehicles and get them spinning in the air. You have your seat belt on, but you’d rather not go spinning this evening. Especially on a full stomach.

John Luke takes his foot off the gas. The windows of his Jeep are wide-open, letting in the breeze.

“Looking forward to school starting?” you ask him.

“Not really. I was excited about working at the camp again
 
—hope that still happens.”

“What’s your favorite part about it?”

“I love meeting the campers and hanging around with them. Teaching them about the Bible.”

You don’t need to tell your grandson he’s got a good head on his shoulders and a good heart inside.

“You know,” you begin, “when I was your age, all I thought about was football and girls. After hunting, of course.”

You’re maybe ten minutes from camp when you see a figure standing on the side of the road. He’s dressed in all camo, which isn’t unusual, though it’s not any particular hunting season right now. His stocking cap covers long, dark hair, and he’s got a beard that makes him resemble one of your family members. Over his shoulder is a backpack.

The man raises a clenched fist, sticking his thumb out to ask for a ride.

It’s been a while since you’ve seen anybody hitchhiking. Back in the old days, it was just a part of life. If you wanted to get somewhere, you could start walking and know someone would eventually pick you up and take you the rest of the way. But these days
 
—in these strange times full of dangerous people
 
—you have to be careful.

John Luke slows down. “Do you know him?”

“Nope. Can’t say that I do.”

As you slowly pass by, both of you get a closer look at the man. His serious eyes are shrouded by his hair and beard.

“Should we pick him up?” John Luke asks.

It’s getting late, and you have a place to be. But it’s not like anybody’s waiting on you to get there. And you always try to
reach out and help people since that’s what the Bible tells you to do.

But we gotta be careful.

And it’s not only you in the car. You have John Luke to think about. Your grandson is no baby, but still.

It never hurts to be too careful in this world.

Do you tell John Luke to pick up the hitchhiker?
Go here
.

Do you tell John Luke to keep driving?
Go here
.