Authors: Lacey Silks
I
popped
two pills with a glass of water. The excitement of the next day’s preparations was likely to keep me up all night, and I really needed to get some deep sleep. Expecting vivid dreams from my sleep-aids, I readied myself against the pillow and closed my eyes. I hadn’t let out a third relaxing breath when I heard the gentle tiptoeing into my room.
“Parker? What’s the matter?”
He carried his flashlight with him and shined it right into my eyes. “Can I sleep with you, Aunt Millie? Mom’s taking most of the bed, and I’m having trouble sleeping.”
I shaded my eyes, and he lowered the beam to the ground.
“What about grandpa?”
“He snores.”
“And I guess there’s no space in Uncle Dave’s or Uncle Justin’s rooms?”
“No. Their beds are tiny.”
“Hop on in, Parker. But I’m an early riser.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind.”
“Good. Try to get some sleep. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow.”
“I love Christmas Eve,” he sighed.
I had a feeling this had something to do with the fact that we had a tradition of opening the presents that evening instead of on Christmas morning.
“I’ll try not to wake you.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
It couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes, right at that point where I almost fell asleep, when Parker threw his right leg over me. How could one skinny limb feel like the weight of an elephant? I gently pushed him off me and shifted in the bed, but no matter how I lay, it seemed like he was trying to sleep perpendicular to me. Apparently, taking up most of the bed ran in the family.
I finally crawled out of bed, pulled the covers over him, and headed to April’s bedroom. At least I could elbow her in the ribcage if she tried to hog the bed. Actually, I had a better idea. Thank goodness my sleeping pill hadn’t kicked in all the way yet, although I was beginning to feel groggy.
“April…” I shook her gently. “Parker is sleeping in my room. He asked for his mommy.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you. Do you mind if I sleep in your room?” she asked.
“Mi casa es su casa.”
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Sure thing.”
Satisfied, I sank my body into the queen-sized bed and put my arms underneath my head. This was way better than the double in my room. Hey, it wasn’t my fault that April and Parker couldn’t find enough space here and now had to deal with a smaller mattress. Too tired to feel guilty, I closed my eyes and, with the little aid I’d popped in my mouth earlier, drifted off into a fond dream: I was still together with Dave during the best few years of my life, when it still made sense to date and the universe was truly balanced.
Back then, we’d spend each night together, me in his arms, peppered with his kisses, squeezed against his body until I couldn’t breathe. When we slept, his arms would be around me the entire night as he spooned me from behind. I had a special drawer of panties at home just for sleeping with him, because I knew that there was a high possibility they’d be removed at night. And fancy panties and hot nights of sex blended together like honey in tea on a frosty winter morning. He’d snuggle in, and the game would begin.
There was a specific pattern I recognized when things were about to heat up between us. It would start with our feet brushing against each other. While innocent at first, the strokes of skin against skin grew more fervent, my toes sliding up and down his shin, his smoothing over my calves. It was the best game of footsies ever. Soon enough my ass would tilt, pushing into his hard erection, rubbing him and teasing him, while he’d return the affection with his hands wandering over my body, starting with the thigh. The feel of his calloused fingers gently scraping upward, over my lace panties, settling there for a moment, before continuing the upward journey over my tummy and underneath my tank top onto my breasts, aroused me instantly.
He’d massage the girls, giving each one extra care, waiting for my nipples to bunch into perfect round pebbles before rolling them between his fingers, squeezing tight to the point where pain turned into pleasure and the twisting pinch activated the drips between my legs. And yet another pair of panties would succumb to Dave’s stimulating touches.
His teeth and lips would be on my shoulder, gently biting and tracing a path toward my neck where he would kiss me over my jugular. I wondered whether he’d feel the rushing pulse there, because I was on fire. He was setting me ablaze with his lips, his hands, and the way he was beginning to push at me from behind, insisting on finishing our foreplay inside me before the sun rose. I ached to feel his thickness in my grip. My ass would continue its up and down movement over his full thickness, giving him a tantalizing rub through his boxer briefs. They’d come off soon enough, but not until his hand headed down. Yeah, just like that, right underneath my panties. Feeling the swell of my pussy with his full hand, he would draw his finger lower and lower.
“Please,” I’d beg.
My breath would hitch as my hand flew back to feel him in my grasp. It was perfect. He was perfect. That erection would soon fill me to the point I could feel him inside me a day later.
The distinct smell of him and me, of our desire, of the sweat, and of the freshly-brushed minty breaths, would fill the air.
“I want you,” he’d whisper in a throaty voice. I couldn’t even talk. I’d let out a needy whimper, nod, and part my legs, waiting for that delightful touch of his thick fingers around the soaked opening where he’d soon enter me. Dave never wasted time getting me off. He never pushed past that point where I was so turned on I couldn’t concentrate on coming because I wanted this feeling to last forever. He knew my body like no one ever had. He’d become an expert at finding the perfect balance between foreplay and when it was time to finish me. He’d cup my entire sex with his full hand, pull my juices upward, and rub.
And I’d be gone.
So, so gone.
I mean, stars swirling around my head, me drifting somewhere through the universe, were a great high, and expected. But with Dave thoroughly taking care of my needs, I felt every sensation, flick, and beat between my legs on an atomically enhanced level. I could feel the air particles shift from a lust-filled state to a hungry ache.
I wasn’t a scientist — nothing close — but I knew nature. And what Dave did went beyond natural capabilities.
That first touch on my clit would shock me, giving my tender nerves a glimpse of satisfaction. This one would be quick. Faster than the last orgasm I’d had. The arousing strokes turned into tight circles as his hand almost vibrated against me, the touch never breaking, the combination of heat and slick friction over my throbbing clit tearing me apart and I’d finally let go, shaking in his arms, sometimes screaming his name until my body became limp and every cell ceased to function.
It was my perfect dream – but only a dream because I wasn’t capable of more. Satisfied, I hugged my pillow, the imaginary feel of his body heat remaining with me until morning. And what a wonderful morning it would be. I wished the night wouldn’t pass so quickly, but that was what happened when I took the pills.
When I awoke, I’d had one of the nicest nights of restful sleep in a while, and that morning I would tackle the world of cooking and packing Christmas gifts. Feeling rejuvenated, I took in a deep breath of air. I swore I could still taste the lust from my dream. I was so glad to have switched rooms with April so that she could spend the night with her son. I wasn’t sure I’d otherwise have been able to have such an arousing dream, not with Parker around! Was it a wet dream? Oh my! It was.
I slid my hand underneath the covers and touched myself between my legs. The remnants of my orgasm soaked through my flannel pajamas. I stretched my arms above my head in delight. Despite the wonderful night, my muscles felt spent, and I’d have a difficult time forcing my body to do any yoga this morning. I turned to my left and inhaled that perfect blend of musk and aftershave. Had Parker been using his uncle’s cologne before he went to bed? And why would it linger in the air for so long?
And then I opened my eyes to see a pair of the most beautiful ones in the world – and they weren’t Parker’s. As the realization came that I was staring right into Dave’s eyes, so did the heat of my cheeks increase as I remembered my naughty dreams.
“What the hell?”
“Good morning to you too, cupcake,” Dave said.
“What are you doing here?” I pulled the sheets to my body, trying to wrap myself in the covers and inadvertently pulling them off Dave. My gaze darted to his healthy morning wood and I shut my eyes, telling myself to focus on his face instead. When I opened them, Dave had that coy smile on his face. It was usually appealing, and the confidence it held used to make me nervous. Heck, what was I thinking? It still made me nervous — it always would.
“Ahm, sleeping.”
“Why? This is Parker’s room.”
“Precisely. April came to my room last night and asked me to sleep with Parker. He had a nightmare about his dad again.”
“Oh,” I gasped. Simon had died in front of his son from a gunshot wound. It was suicide; at least, that’s what most people believed.
“When I got here, he was fast asleep, so I stayed with him just in case he woke up again.”
“Do I look like a little boy?” I asked. “Think about this carefully because your next answer will make a difference in your walk.”
I got my knee ready to jut into his crotch.
“No, of course not, Millie! It was an honest mistake. Jesus, you really think I’d sneak in your bed to sleep with you?”
Wouldn’t he?
“Honest mistake my ass.”
Shit! I shouldn’t have said that.
The mere mention of my ass would give him enough reason to tease me. But it was too late. His lip curved up a bit as if he knew something I didn’t.
“Parker slept in my room,” I said, desperate for him to focus on something other than my ass.
“I didn’t know that. April didn’t say he’d switched beds.”
There was that smile again. Could he hear me at night? Had I made any noises as I dreamt about him?
“Nothing happened here. This doesn’t change anything. Do you understand?” I shoved my finger almost in his face. He instead quickly kissed it and jumped out of bed before I had a chance to poke him.
With his erection standing tall, Dave walked toward the door. Why couldn’t he wear a t-shirt like normal men? Because he was buff and proud of his healthy physique. And it didn't hurt that his pride stood right out of his crotch as he began the routine of his morning stretches. Still hot from my dream, I couldn’t take any more visuals of Dave working out, and so I hopped out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
“Nice flannels, babycakes.”
I looked back before heading out the door, saying, “I would insult you, but I’m afraid I couldn’t do as well as nature did.”
Hah! Take that!
But Dave just smiled, his gaze skimming over my body, making me dart out of the way of his laser-beaming green eyes.
E
veryone
, except Mr. Universe working out upstairs, was still sleeping. Looking out the back door into a winter-wonderland setting in the mountains, I lowered my head and, one by one, each vertebra in my spine curved down until my full palms pressed to the floor. Feeling gravity change my blood circulation, I walked my hands forward, stretching my legs, bringing my body to the downward dog position. Nothing felt better. I slowly lowered my knees, resting my back in a table top position. Moments later I arched my back like a cat, extending my spine, then back down, lifting my pelvis and looking up toward the ceiling.
“This should be a wonder of the world. Amazing sight.” I turned around at the heavy sigh behind me, flopping to the side, almost twisting my wrist.
“What the hell?”
“More like heaven.”
“Not enough room for you upstairs?”
“I’m done. And I’m glad I hurried. It’d be a sin to miss this.”
“Dave, stop it. I need to exercise, and you need to get your mind out of the gutter. It’s Christmas Eve today, and we have a lot to do before tonight.”
“Nope, sorry. You may have pushed away from my life, but I’m not going to let you steal the best thing I’ve got going here.” He gave me that long look of appreciation that made my skin tighten. “And that’s my imagination and my thoughts where I can kiss you” – he took a step closer – “touch you” – and then another – “lick you” – why was he getting so close? And why was I just sitting there, watching those muscles enlarge and harden with every step? – “and fuck you.”
My eyes grew wide.
“Yeah, if you didn’t know, I think about being inside you all the time. And it’s great. Not as good as the real thing, of course; so, if you’d like to remind me what it feels like to be buried to the hilt, I’m open to suggestions.” He winked.
Dave was crouching on the floor, dangerously close to me. A drop of sweat rolled down my chest between my boobs, and he followed it with his gaze. Would he ever stop having that kind of an effect on me?
“Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date tonight.”
“Nah, I have something better on my mind than a fake doll.” he winked. Heat covered my body in an instant. What did he mean by that? But Dave wasn’t done just yet.
“If you want the truth, here it is. Yes, I want to fuck you. I’ve been dreaming about having my dick in your pussy again every day that we’ve been apart. There. Happy?”
“Oh, please, you’ve gone on dates. Don’t make it sound like you’ve been deprived of sex.”
“There’s a difference between satisfying sex and just sex. Do you think it’s easy to get off on just any woman when all I can think about is you?”
Me? He thought about me when he was with other women? Well, good. He should because he’d ruined all the men in the world for me. No one would ever mean anything more than a quick lay and a way to release the overflowing hormones from my body.
He finally stood up, saying, “It’s time to get breakfast going. Wanna help me get started?”
And just like that, the heat between us vanished. Or maybe it was just put on hold. Did I want to help him? What if his idea of breakfast was me on that kitchen counter? Oh, my! The memories were all rushing in too fast.
“Whatever is causing that blush on your cheeks, my answer is yes. It lights up your face.”
“It’s from exercising.”
He gave me that ‘Sure, it is’ look and then reached out to help me up.
“Are you gonna help or just stare?”
I took his hand, and with a gentle pull I was standing in front of him. This morning I’d show him that I could remain civil with my ex-lover. This wouldn’t be difficult at all. “I’m gonna help.”
The morning of Christmas Eve, the Mayers family traditionally made pancakes, bacon and eggs, hash browns, and whatever else could fill us up until evening because there was no time to eat while getting dinner ready, decorating the family cabin, and wrapping all the gifts. And the rule was that whoever woke up first was supposed to make breakfast, which most of the time meant me and Dave. I had planned to sleep in just so that I could avoid him in the kitchen, but I hadn’t been expecting to find him in bed next to me.
This morning, though, the atmosphere had shifted. Working alongside Dave felt different. He didn’t try to brush against me and kept the inappropriate comments to a minimum. And oddly, I missed it. I missed him, and I missed us, and the way we used to banter; but I couldn’t tell him because then he’d get the wrong idea. He was the best cook as well, taking over most of the preparations. My function was usually to get the plates and utensils, pass the pepper, peel the potatoes; functional stuff, you know. And his healthy appetite was one of the weirdest ones I’d ever seen. This guy must have been born chewing on a steak. Food was always on his mind – that’s why he called me all those nicknames.
It wasn’t until we were setting the table that Parker, the first of the rest of the family to wake up, showed up downstairs.
He ran over to us, hugging us both, forcing us closer together. In that split second, as I connected my gaze with Dave’s and everything felt so right, I swear I stopped breathing. One day in a distant past, we had plans to be a family. We had plans to make a lot of babies and take care of them. And now, the only child we shared was our godson. I took a step back and poured myself a cup of organic coffee.
We’d gone through phases like these for years. There’d be months when I’d lose myself to work, pretend to date someone else just to get Dave off my back, and then he’d find out I was single again and try to break through to me. The only problem was he didn’t know that he was the one who had broken me. My dates were a sham, my life was a sham; but for me, it was the only way I could move forward. My life might have been screwed up, but I could still make a difference for others. Too much had happened between us, and even if I could forgive him – which honestly, I had – there weren’t enough Band-Aids in the world to fix me. On the outside I was the one with the world; but on the inside, well, my insides just felt torn apart. I felt broken, unfixable, damaged, and unlovable. He’d have to stop loving me one day, wouldn’t he? But how could I go on if he didn’t? How could I live knowing how much Dave still wanted me?
And yes, I wanted him too, but I forced myself to keep my distance. I concentrated on my work as a secretary in the family’s business. They owned a forensics lab, and I was the one who kept them organized. I brought balance to their usually hectic lives.
April finally made her way downstairs, for which I was grateful, because Dave left the kitchen to give us more space, taking his tablet and sitting down with a cup of coffee in the arm chair.
“Parker, go wake up Grandpa and Uncle Justin. If they don’t get here, everything will get cold,” April said. As soon as Parker was out of earshot, she scooted closer to me, all excited. Why the heck was she so chirpy? Yes, Christmastime usually made people all giddy and happy, but she was acting like she was about to get some celebrity gossip.
“Sooo? What happened last night?”
“What are you talking about? Nothing happened.”
“Well, I know you slept in my room.”
“Yes, because Parker was trying to prove all the laws of geometry using his body.”
She waited a moment, contemplating whether she should say the next few words.
“I asked Dave to sleep with Parker because he had a nightmare.”
Understanding her sneaky gesture took a moment to sink in.
“You did that on purpose?”
“Can you really blame me for trying?”
“April!”
Dave lifted his head. I hadn’t meant to attract his attention! I turned April around so that our backs were to the family room.
“You need to tell me what happened. I’m your best friend,” she begged. “The moans coming out of that room were definitely more than ‘nothing.’”
“What?”
“Oh, come on, you two finally shacked up, didn’t you?”
That’s when I realized that the dream… wasn’t a dream at all. It was real! Dave did hold me in his arms last night. His hands were actually on me and his fingers… Holy mother of Zen! He touched me, fondled me, and made me come.
With the blaze on my face resembling the engine ignition of a spaceship, I turned on my heel to see an amused look on Dave’s face.
“You. Me. Outside. Now.” I pointed to the door and, without waiting to see whether he was following, I pushed through.
My skin froze on contact with the morning mountain air, and I rubbed my arms. Dave came outside with a jacket and put it over my shoulders. He kept his hands on the fabric and, without a warning, pulled me in against his body and seized my lips.
My mouth opened on contact, welcoming his warm tongue, greedily savoring the heat of our bodies. The delicate tease of his lips was the most perfect after-orgasmic good morning a girl could have. He tasted fresh and delicious. With kisses like that, I was sure I could withstand the big bang, an atomic bomb, an apocalypse, or even a zombie invasion. Oh, my God! What was wrong with me? I didn’t believe in magical things or zombies or the end of the world. Yet with Dave around, all I wanted to do was create magic. Especially - magic with his lips. Something crashed inside the house, and I finally found the strength to pull away.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because, it’s… it’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s ever felt more right, peach pie. Besides” – he pointed up to the mistletoe above us – “It’s tradition.” I’d been avoiding the one by the staircase all morning but had completely forgotten about this one.
“Cheek! She said kiss on the cheek.”
“All right. Just to show you that I can follow instructions…” And without warning he leaned down and pressed his lips to my cheek with so much emotion and sensuality it nearly knocked me off my feet.
“Stop kissing me.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t think when you do.”
“Aha! I knew you still felt something for me.”
I slouched in defeat. This man would never give up, would he?
“Isn’t it obvious? Jesus, Dave. You know I’ll never stop caring about you and we’ll always be connected because of Parker, but this” – I pointed between the two of us – “this isn’t fixable.”
“Let me prove you wrong.”
I sighed. “How are you going to do that?”
I couldn’t think of one thing that Dave could do to make me believe in us again.
“I just need a chance, Millie. You want to fix everyone and balance the world, but you won’t let anyone bring balance to your life.”
“You think the way to balance my life is to touch me?”
“You didn’t have any objections last night.”
“I thought I was dreaming.”
“Whoa! I didn’t know that. I… I thought you wanted me. In fact, you begged for it.”
I begged?
“I did want you.” My hand flew to my mouth. “In my dream. It was a dream.”
“Felt pretty real to me. You played footsie, then grabbed my hand and brought it to your boobs to squeeze them. What was I supposed to think?”
Oh, my God! Did I really do that?
I felt my cheeks heat.
“Do you have dreams like that often?” he asked.
Yes.
“No, of course not!”
“Do you know how cute you are when you’re angry? Almost as beautiful as when you come.”
“Dave, what you did was wrong. I wasn’t conscious.”
“You were conscious enough to beg for it.”
“I didn’t.”
“I wish I had a recording.”
“Do you?”
“No, Millie. I was a bit caught off guard when you started rubbing your feet on mine. You know what that means, don’t you? As far as I’m concerned, you knew exactly what you were doing and you were trying to seduce me.”
“What? You have some nerve.”
“And you have a strong grip, sugar.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not sweet.”
“Well, it’s been some time since I tasted you—“
“—Enough! Why didn’t you mention anything this morning?”
“And ruin all the fun while watching you remember?”
“I thought I was dreaming.”
“You know, repeating that doesn’t make it true. When did you switch from sexy lingerie to grandma panties?”
“They’re my sleeping underwear, and they’re comfortable.”
“Are you saying your pretty black lace when we were together wasn’t comfortable?”
My mind drifted to that time in the past. “You’re not allowed to think about me that way.”
“You can try to stay away from me, but you can’t control what I think and whom I fantasize about. So if I want to think about my dick inside you, or my hands combing through your hair as an orgasmic breath leaves your lips, that’s what I’ll do.”
The image he forced into my mind was so vivid part of me wanted it to come true. The door opened right in the middle of our bickering, and Justin peeked outside. Thank my lucky stars he did, because arguments like those between us usually only led to more kissing.
“Are you two done? Because breakfast is getting cold.”
“Almost,” I said and I pulled Justin to me, pressing my lips to his, kissing him hard on his mouth. The look on Dave’s face was priceless. He didn’t know whether to punch his brother or tear me away from him.
I pointed up with pride saying, “It’s tradition.” And with that I walked back inside.