PeakExperience (19 page)

Chapter Eleven

Her mind told her it wasn’t possible, but she saw a
different truth. The exhibit was called “Fortunate Accidents”, and Lena thought
she might throw up. The sounds in the room disappeared as blood rushed in her
ears and she took in the activity around her. To the left of the greeters table
was a wall of information on Lena, their featured artist, including pictures
from her childhood, a few of her standout projects from C&F, as well as a
photograph of her working, which she barely remembered Daniel taking while they
were away at the camp.

Swallowing hard she turned to Daniel and said, “When did
you…” But her voice trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to complete the
sentence.

“I mentioned it to Alice during one of our calls after I’d
seen your work. When we came back she asked me what I thought of mounting a
show. I told her nothing was framed and I didn’t know if you’d agree. When she
hit on the idea to surprise you instead, we decided to leave your work unframed
and she would showcase it the best way possible. You’re surprised, right?”

She would never like surprises. “Yes,” she whispered.
Instead of frames, her pictures rested on thin, dark shelves placed at
different heights throughout the gallery. They looked beautiful yet unfamiliar
on the plain white walls. Nearly every piece from the accident collection in
her camp studio was here for all to see. She was entirely exposed.

As if it wasn’t hard enough to accept what she was seeing,
when she turned at the sound of her name she saw her family coming to greet
her. Janice got to her first and wrapped her in a bear hug of motherly warmth
and jasmine scent.

“Lena, my sweet girl, this is wonderful. I am thrilled for
you. This is completely incredible. Your work is fabulous.”

“Thank you,” Lena said, moved by the honesty she heard in
her mother’s voice.

“I could hardly believe it when Daniel called to tell us
about the show. At first, I was amazed you let him talk you into it, but then
he explained it was a surprise. I hope you’re pleased. You are, aren’t you?”

“Of course, I just don’t know what to say.” Although she was
thinking of some very choice words for the manipulative man behind this event.

“That’s all right, dear, you don’t have to say anything.
Daniel told us the plan and naturally we gave him what he asked for, including
keys to the Great House and pictures of you for the program. Isn’t it
spectacular?”

It was a spectacle, she thought, but simply said, “Yes.”

After her mom released her, she got the same treatment from
her father and both brothers. She was stunned they all made it. It was usually a
challenge to get them together without a great deal of advance planning. She
was certain someone, if not all of them, changed their schedules to make this
work. She was touched by their support. The Pierces were there as well, which
was also surprising since she couldn’t remember the last time they left the
Berkshires.

“We wouldn’t have missed it for anything,” Mrs. Pierce told
her. As shaky as Lena felt, it was special to have the people closest to her
here.

“You doing okay, sunshine?” Michelle asked, grabbing her arm
and pulling her away. “You look pale.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s not a good sign. He had the best intentions. He even
convinced me it was a good idea.”

How could Michelle support this? She knew how Lena felt
about her art. Before she could voice her anger, Alice approached.

“Congratulations, Ms. Artiste. Don’t you love it? I think
it’s stunning.”

“I’m stunned, that’s for sure.”

“Daniel said he wasn’t sure. I did a lot of wheedling and
convincing after he sent me a few pictures of your work. He wanted to know if I
thought they were marketable so he could tell you. I said that was an
understatement and asked when could we arrange your first show. Come, I have to
introduce you to people. Everyone is dying to meet you.”

“Could you give me one minute, Alice? I want to speak with
Daniel. I’m still a bit overwhelmed by this.”

“Of course, darling. I’ll find you in a few, but don’t take
too long and don’t disappear like you two did the last time.”

“I wouldn’t think of it.” She turned to look for Daniel and
found him chatting with her family as though they were old friends. More anger
bubbled to the surface. Nice to know one of them fit in with them. “Daniel?”
she called to him. When their eyes met, she motioned him over to her.

He gave her a quick hug and said, “What do you think?”

“How. Dare. You.” Although she spoke quietly she could tell
from the way he flinched he heard every word.

“You’re upset?”

“Oh no, I went straight past upset and landed firmly on
livid.” She pivoted and walked quickly to the gallery offices, knowing he would
follow. As she stood in the entry vestibule a lump formed in her throat. She
couldn’t ever remember suffering a hurt like this, not even at the end of her
marriage. She’d trusted Daniel with a special part of her and he’d exposed her.
The feeling of betrayal was immense.

She started speaking as soon as the door shut. “How could
you take my pictures and allow them to be displayed in public?”

“I hoped you’d be pleased, even if it is a bit scary. After
all we shared and all you’ve said, I thought you’d gotten over your fear of
being seen as the artist you are.”

“Daniel, this may come as a shock to you, but I am not a
picture you can manipulate into being what you want.”

“I am perfectly aware of that,” he said, crossing his hands
over his chest.

“Are you? Because I’m beginning to think you need to get a
little older before you understand you cannot make people into what you think
they should be and pain is not something that goes away with a phone call or a
kiss. Or a grand gesture.” She waved her hand toward the door.

“Age has nothing to do with my decision or your anger.”

“Don’t be so certain. A more mature person would have talked
to me, learned if it was what I wanted.”

“I do know what you wanted. You made it very clear whether
you realize it or not, Lena. You’ve been craving this for most of your life.
You may not see it, but I certainly can. You completely changed while we were
at Crane Hill, although it seems you aren’t able or are unwilling to see it.
You let go of the stranglehold you put on your life. I was sure…”

“
You
were sure. What about me? This decision was
about me.”

“Of course it was.”

“No, you made it
for
me. What gave you the right to
do this without asking? Without consulting me. That is
my
art out there.
My work.”
My soul
, she thought.

“Love.”

“What?”

“Love gave me the right or at least the hope to try to
release the woman I adore from the pain and detachment she’s lived with. Loving
you made me want more for you.”

Lena didn’t know what to say. Her heart was still hammering,
and she wanted to keep yelling, but his words and the emotion behind them made
her stop. But the words didn’t change the situation. “I can’t handle this. I
don’t want this. Not this way. I need it on my terms.”

He stepped toward her and placed his hands on her shoulders.
She stiffened, hating her response, but not being able to stop it. “If there’s
one thing I learned while we were at Crane Hill, along with how much I care for
you, it’s that you cannot live while continuing to avoid what you fear. You
can’t always be in control. Sometimes, being out of control is exactly what you
need.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I need. I am not a child. I am
capable of determining how I want to run my life.”

“I’m not treating you like a child. I’m treating you like a
woman with a gift that deserves to be shown, seen.”

“Really? I don’t see you sharing those black-and-white
photos Alice wants you to display. Didn’t you say something about those being
personal? I thought you understood.”

“Those pictures are an aspect of my art. I don’t keep my
work hidden. How can I make you understand? It was so clear to me that you
wanted this, Lena, but you were afraid to admit it.”

“Artist
and
a mind reader. You are very talented.”

“Stop it. Stop trying to hurt me because you’re scared.”

“Hurt you? Hurt
you
!” Her voice rose and she was
ready to lunge for him when there was a knock at the door.

“Okay, you two lovebirds, I’ve been patient long enough,”
Alice said. “Let Lena go, Daniel, so she can meet her adoring public.”

“You’ve already let me go,” she said in a voice only he
could hear. She put her hand up to stop him from responding. There was nothing
to say. “Goodbye, Daniel.”

* * * * *

Daniel stood there for a few minutes, resting his head
against the wall and trying to stop shaking. He wanted to shake her. She was
infuriating. Couldn’t she see this was a leap she needed to take, was meant to
take? He believed once she saw the exhibit and the reception of the crowd, she
would know this was the right move. But no, she stubbornly clung to her fears.

He found the employee bathroom, splashed water on his face,
and stepped back into the office area. Michelle was standing there waiting for
him.

“She’s furious,” she said.

“I gather she told you.”

“She didn’t have to. I saw her walk out of here with Alice
next to her, and if Lena holds herself any more rigidly, she’s going to
shatter. I tried to tell you she didn’t like surprises.”

This was true. Daniel ran the idea past Michelle and Lena’s
friend explained her aversion to surprises. Daniel decided he knew Lena better
and moved forward with his plans. Maybe he was wrong, but nothing could be
changed now. “She’s been aching for this for years, Michelle. She never told
you what she sacrificed after her first show.”

“No, but I assume she had a good reason for not telling me
as well as for telling you. Is she going to regret that decision?”

He didn’t answer immediately. “I don’t know. I need to go
out there.”

“I had better not lose my friend over this.”

“If I have my way, you’ll be wearing a bridesmaid dress.”

Michelle smiled at him. “It better not be hideous or have a
butt bow.”

Daniel gave her a quick hug and ran out the door. Lena might
not let him help her through this, but he was going to keep an eye on her. He
located her in seconds. Lena stood ramrod straight and her smile looked forced
and painful. Since this was a private preview, there was no press, but there
were plenty of people who stopped to talk to him because they knew about his
last show.

He barely followed the conversations he was pulled into and
rarely took his eyes off Lena, who was very skilled at keeping her gaze away
from him. Knowing he caused her pain was killing him. It wasn’t his intention.
Far from it. He found it almost tragic that she kept her passion and talent
hidden in a third-floor studio in the middle of nowhere. He wanted her to have
the success she deserved and to be free to express herself completely and not
just with him.

Didn’t she understand?

But even if she did, would she forgive him for showing it to
her in what turned out to be such a harsh way?

* * * * *

After the show, if Daniel tried to follow her out of the
gallery Lena would have happily made a scene in the middle of Newbury Street
and not cared who saw. She was in knots and not ready to talk to him.

In the light of early evening, she sat in her simple and
familiar living room wondering what to do now that her simple and familiar life
was completely turned upside down. Seeing her work on the gallery walls so
shocked her she assumed her reaction was hurt and pain. However, sitting
quietly and focusing on her feelings, she admitted she may be wrong.

As the afternoon wore on she relaxed a little and enjoyed
herself on several occasions. Alice was brilliant at making introductions and,
surprisingly, turned out to be a fan of her mother’s work, which led to more
interesting conversations and connections for everyone. Shortly after Lena came
out of the gallery offices, Alice cornered her.

“He did this to support you, not to hurt you,” she said.

The woman was very good at reading situations. “I know, but
that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Sharing my work with him was scary enough. I
never expected him to break that trust.”

“He didn’t. He wanted you to have this opportunity, but
without the pressure and fears of a true opening. There are no critics here,
Lena, only friends, family and a few professional contacts of mine. This is a
pre-show, invitation-only event and if you want, these pictures will come off
the walls at the end of the day. No one else will ever see the work of Lena
Crane. It’s your decision. Personally, I hope you let the public and the
critics in. Your work is powerful, beautiful and, as an agent I have to add,
very sellable.”

Lena was shocked. She assumed some of the guests were
critics. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’d like you to say you’ll allow the show to continue.
Promise me you’ll consider it.”

Lena promised, leaving her emotions a jumble of elation and
misery for the rest of the afternoon. If she started to relax, she’d catch a glimpse
of Daniel and his betrayal would hit her again. She couldn’t shake the
knowledge he went behind her back to make this happen.

But would it have ever happened if he didn’t? Would she have
kept her art in her studio, never showing anyone? When she worked, she never
thought about a canvas being viewed by others because part of her feared if she
imagined an audience her creativity would dry up.

Fear. There was that word again. How many places in her life
had she held back and not lived fully because of it? Fear of being an outsider
made her pull away from her family. Fear the critics were right stopped her
from showing her work, and fear of being in a relationship others would think
was weird nearly cost her Daniel.