Past All Forgetting (21 page)

But she was unable to find a motive for their strange behaviour. Children had a strong sense of justice, she thought, and they all knew in their hearts that Fleur was easily the best singer in the class, so why should she feel so sure that it all stemmed from that?

It was beginning to tell on her too. She now snapped where once she would have reasoned, threatened where she would have persuaded.

She sighed, and pulled up her coat collar against the chill wind. Everything was going wrong, she thought drearily. The only certainty was that at the end of term she would be jobless. Mrs Parsons had managed to secure her early release from the education office, and Janna thought that if her relationship with the children was to deteriorate much more, she would be glad to leave. No one could possibly give of their best in such an atmosphere.

Only Fleur herself seemed totally unaware of what was happening. Janna, when she had first realised the change in the children's attitude, had kept a wary eye on her, in case this covert hostility she had sensed might take a more tangible form where Fleur was concerned. But it did not seem to be so, and anyway Fleur's own quality of aloofness made it difficult to gauge exactly what kind of a relationship she had with her schoolmates. If she was being bullied, she gave no sign.

Certainly she spent most of her time in the playground on her own, but Janna was sure this was at her own choice. The child still stood by the fence, staring up the road with undeniable longing, and in spite of her own very mixed feelings, Janna could not help hoping that her mother would come soon. It was pitiful to see the air of expectancy dwindle as she kept her small vigils.

Janna could well comprehend her soreness of heart, she thought wryly. It was a feeling she shared. She had not seen Rian or had any form of communication with him since he had driven away from the house that morning, leaving her with Colin. He was out of sight, and out of reach, and she had to live with the pain of that each day, and take it to bed with her at night. At first, she had nursed the vain hope that he would at least telephone to make sure that she was all right Then, as the news of her broken engagement became more widely known, she had told herself that he was bound to hear about it.

But if this was true, it only served to underline his total indifference, she thought bitterly. He must have realised that the most telling form of vengeance he could have exacted was to cut her out of his life altogether. The calculated cruelty of it left her numb. It was one thing to tell herself that she had to do the same—wipe him from her mind as if he had never existed —and another to achieve it.. She could not walk down a street without wondering if she was going to come face to face with him. Everywhere she looked seemed to have some association, however tenuous, with him.

And she could not even confide her misery to anyone.

It was naturally assumed that if she was fretting it was for Colin, and that she only had herself to blame.

She could only promise herself over and over again that: things would be better when she was away from Carrisford, and pray that it would really be so. She had no idea even where she would go. London did not attract her particularly, but she felt she needed the busy oblivion of a large city to bury herself in for a while. At least there she would not feel she was living out her existence under a microscope.

She squared her shoulders as she walked up the path and into the house. Her mother had still not accepted the situation, and treated her with a mixture of long-suffering and tacit reproach which Janna found wearing on the nerves. Her first diffident mention of the fact that she had given in her notice had induced a migraine attack lasting two days, and Mrs Prentiss had refused to discuss the matter since. This refusal by her mother to face the facts was just one more problem on a rapidly lengthening list.

Summoning a dutiful smile, she walked into the kitchen, where Mrs Prentiss was occupied in getting the evening meal ready. She was bending over the oven when Janna entered, and her face seemed flushed, but whether this was because she was cooking, or caused by temper, Janna could not be sure. But her doubts did not last long. Mrs Prentiss straightened herself, and banged the oven door shut with unnecessary emphasis, and the stare with which she favoured her daughter was openly resentful.

'Is something the matter?' Janna asked mildly. She slid into a chair at the kitchen table, and pulled the teapot and waiting cup towards her. No matter how deeply she might be in her mother's bad books, the ritual of having a warm drink waiting for her when she returned from school never altered.

'Oh, no.' Mrs Prentiss' tone was heavy with irony. 'What could possibly be wrong?' She picked up a paring knife and launched an assault on a bowl of harmless-looking potatoes.

Janna sighed. 'That's what I'm waiting for you to tell me,' she pointed out patiently.

'So she hasn't told you.' Her mother gave a snort of laughter. 'Well, I suppose not even she had the brass face to' say anything under the circumstances.'

Janna stirred her tea resignedly. 'Who hasn't?' she persisted. 'And what is it that I should know?'

'Beth Morris, that's who!' Mrs Prentiss filled a saucepan with water and slammed it on to the draining board. 'Her mother took great delight in telling me this afternoon. She's going to the Christmas Ball next week—and your Colin's taking her!'

'No, she didn't mention it,' Janna acknowledged quietly, 'But at least it explains what all the whispering in corners over the past couple of days has been about.'

'You don't even seem surprised.' Her mother rounded on her. 'Don't you care that you've been supplanted?'

Janna sighed. 'Not particularly,' she said honestly. 'And you have to hand it to Beth—she certainly doesn't waste a lot of time.'

'Is that all you can say about it?' Mrs Prentiss cast her eyes to heaven. 'Well, you've lost him now, Janna. Beth Morris may have caught him on the rebound, but she won't let
him
go in a hurry.'

'Mother,' Janna leaned forward, a note of earnestness in her voice, 'I'm sorry you're upset, and that's all. If Colin and Beth want each other, then I wish them luck.'

'Very generous, I'm sure.' Mrs Prentiss hunted in her overall pocket for a handkerchief and blew her nose vigorously. 'Oh, Janna, with the chances you've had, I never thought I'd see Beth Morris married and you left an old maid.'

Janna forced a smile. 'You seem very sure that will be my fate,' she said with an attempt at lightness.

'I'm sure of one thing.' Mrs Prentiss resumed her attack on the potatoes. 'If you're still hankering after Rian Tempest, you've made a big mistake.' She gave a grim laugh. 'He has other fish to fry.'

Janna sat very still. She wanted to ignore what her mother had just said, to brush it aside, but she could not. If it was more than just a casual remark, she had to know just what was behind it.

'Are you trying to tell me something?' she asked at last.

'So it is him.' Her mother put up a weary hand and pushed her hair back from her forehead. She shot Janna a glance of mingled pity and anger. 'You fool, Janna. You wouldn't be warned. He's not interested in you any more, my dear. Not now that his fancy woman has come back.'

Janna's mouth went dry. 'His…?' She could not get the words out.

Mrs Prentiss gave a little nod. 'She arrived on the midday bus from Leeds. Deirdre said she had two large suitcases with her, so it's dear that she means to stay. And she took Fred Collins' taxi straight up to Carrisbeck.' She caught sight suddenly of her daughter's white face set in rigid lines., and her mouth puckered. 'Oh, Janna, he's no good for you. He never was. Why didn't you believe me? And after all the trouble I went to…'

Janna bit her lip. It's all right, Mummy.' She tried and almost succeeded to control the tremor in her voice. 'I—I knew she was coming. Fleur did mention it.'

'Poor little mite,' Mrs Prentiss said fiercely. 'I only hope he's prepared to do the right thing by them both at last.'

'Yes,' Janna said. She got up steadily from the table and went out of the room. In the hall, she paused, looking around her as if she had just woken to discover herself in a strange land. She did not know where to turn or which way to go, but if there had been any means of escape, she knew she would have seized it. Yet flight was denied her. Whatever her personal feelings, she had to stay in Carrisford for another two weeks at least, until the school term ended. Besides, if she ran away as soon as. Kim San arrived on the scene, people might draw exactly the kind of conclusions she was most anxious to avoid. She wanted to have at least the remnants of her pride about her when she left.

Somehow, somewhere she would find the strength to get through these last days here, and when she left, she would hold her head high and no one, not even Rian—oh God, especially not Rian—would ever know the agony that was flaying her spirit.

She came down late to breakfast the next morning to find preparations for an early lunch already going on, and her mother flying round the house, dressed to go out except for her topcoat which lay waiting over an adjacent chair.

'Oh, heavens!' Janna sat down at the kitchen table and looked at her ruefully. 'I'd quite forgotten. It's the Christmas Bazaar this afternoon, isn't it?'

'Yes,' her mother agreed. She sent her a sideways look. It's all right, dear. I know you said you would help out, but I quite understand if you don't feel up to it. We can manage.'

'No,' Janna gave a resolute shake of her head. 'I—I'd like to help still. I need something to do.'

Mrs Prentiss paused as if she was on the verge of saying something, then with a short sigh she compressed her lips and turned away.

The bazaar, which was invariably held in the large assembly room attached to the town hall, was the largest event of its kind held during the year, and was organised by a committee drawn from all the women's organisations and churches in the town, who shared the proceeds between them. Mrs Prentiss had been a leading light of this committee for a number of years now, and Janna, whenever she was available, usually lent a hand either serving behind a stall or helping with the teas.

It was a popular event attracting visitors from all over the area, and business was brisk from the moment the doors were opened. Janna, who had been sent to help on the Christmas card stall, was kept too busy to give her own problems even a moment's thought, which was what she had hoped.

In spite of the rush, however, she was uneasily aware that something was wrong. The three women who were manning the stall with her were old acquaintances. In fact, they had known her since babyhood, yet their manner could not have been cooler if she had been a complete stranger to them. Janna supposed resignedly that this must be some kind of strange backlash from her broken engagement, but she found their attitude difficult to comprehend. She had not realised that Colin was so popular locally. In fact, with the industrial troubles at Travers Engineering escalating with every day that passed, she might have been forgiven for supposing the opposite to be the case. Sir Robert had carried out what amounted to a lockout, and it looked as if the dispute was going to drag on over the Christmas period.

She gave a little sigh and began to rearrange some of the remaining packets of charity cards.

Mrs Armstrong, who was in charge of the stall, came across to her. 'They're serving tea now, Miss Prentiss. Perhaps you'd like to go and have yours.'

Miss Prentiss—and from someone who had been calling her Janna since she was in her pram. It also occurred to Janna that helpers usually went to have tea in pairs, and it was only too obvious that none of the others wished to accompany her. Her face slightly flushed, she gave a quiet word of agreement and walked towards the side room where the teas were situated.

She glanced round casually as she entered, recognising numerous familiar, faces. But as she collected her tray and made her way to a table she had to acknowledge yet again that her reception had been chilly, to say the least.

In a way, she was thankful that the table was an empty one. She was beginning to think she would not know how to cope with yet another snub from normally kindly people who had known her all her life. She sat down and lifted her plate of sandwiches and cakes off the tray, and as she did so she was aware that someone was standing beside her. She glanced up and saw to her astonishment that Colin was standing there, with Beth Morris beside him. Beth looked bright-eyed and attractive, the large fur collar of what was dearly a new coat drawn up around her pointed chin.

'Hello, Janna,' Colin said awkwardly. 'This—this is quite a surprise.'

'Not really,' she said composedly, well aware that there were curious eyes fixed on them from all over the room. 'If you remember, I do help here every year.'

'Oh, yes.' Beth gave an artificial little laugh. 'But this year somehow I think we all felt you might be keeping— what do they call it?—a low profile.

Janna added sugar to her tea and stirred it, 'I can't think why.'

'No?' Beth began rather shrilly, and Janna, to her astonishment, saw Colin nudge her into silence.

He sent her an uncomfortable look. 'I—I'm sorry about all this, Janna. It can't be very pleasant for you, but I want you to know it was none of my doing. You have—rather— brought this on yourself, you know.

Impatience rose within Janna. 'I wish I knew what you were talking about,' she returned. 'You didn't used to talk in riddles.

'No?' Colin's discomfort was becoming more evident with each moment that passed. He sent a look round the room that was positively hunted, then turned away. 'Come on, Beth. I—I think we've spent enough time here.'

'More than enough.' Beth lingered, however, looking down at Janna with an air of unmistakable triumph. 'We have to hurry,' she said. 'Sir Robert hates to be kept waiting, you know.'

Janna gave her an ironic look. 'Dinner at the Hall?' she asked sweetly. 'That's quick work.' She regretted the words as soon as they were uttered, but it was altogether too late.

Beth's eyes gleamed with malice. 'You're a fine one to talk!' she retorted with emphasis. 'But at least I'll be ending the evening in my own bed.'