Passion's Law (15 page)

He flinched and drew a little away. “Yeah. I've had better.”

Puzzled, she lay a hand over his, only to have him draw back again. Was it her imagination, or was he avoiding her? During this entire exchange he hadn't once looked at her. At first she'd thought it was because he'd missed his daughter so much. After all, they were rarely apart. But now she was getting an uneasy feeling along her spine.

“If things are really bad, you can always leave Brittany here another night.”

“No.” The protest came out sharper than he'd intended. He glanced up and saw the hurt look in Heather's eyes, then decided to just plow through. “We've imposed on you long enough. It's time to get back to our own lives.”

“Imposed?” Now the pain was in her voice as well as in her eyes. “How can you even think such a thing, Thad?”

“How? It's easy. You're young and beautiful and you have your whole life ahead of you. The last thing you need is to be tied down with a bad-tempered cop and his kid. As for Brittany and me, we're a team. We don't need anybody except each other.” He turned to his daughter, to avoid the mix
of pain and confusion in Heather's eyes. “Isn't that right, honey?”

“Uh-huh.” The little girl looked from her dad to the young woman beside him. “But why can't Heather come home with us?”

“Because this is her home, honey. This is where Heather belongs.”

He could see that his daughter was on the verge of tears. He couldn't stand it if both these females started crying.

He turned toward his car, leaving Heather standing alone.

As he buckled Brittany into her car seat she turned and waved her little hand. “Bye, Heather. See you tomorrow.”

He settled himself in the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition. Without a word he put the car in gear and took off, watching as the figure in the rearview mirror receded until, as the car rounded a curve, she disappeared from sight.

He'd thought it would be like taking a knife to the heart.

He'd been wrong.

It had been worse. Much worse.

He felt as though he'd just ripped his heart from his chest and was now pouring acid on the raw, bloody wound.

H
eather stood perfectly still, watching as Thad's car drove away. For the longest time she merely stared, seeing nothing, her mind in turmoil.

What had just happened here?

He'd hugged his daughter. That was to be expected. But he'd studiously avoided her. Avoided touching her. Even avoided looking at her. And the words he'd spoken had seemed to come from someone else. In fact, as she began replaying his words in her mind, they seemed intentionally cruel.

We've imposed on you long enough.

We're a team. We don't need anyone else.

This is where Heather belongs.

…young and beautiful, and you have your whole life ahead of you. The last thing you need is to be tied down with a bad-tempered cop and his kid.

All carefully rehearsed lines guaranteed to let a person down without coming right out and saying so. She ought to know. She'd dumped enough men in her life to know the drill very well.

He'd been saying goodbye. She had become an unwanted intrusion in his well-ordered life. He'd wanted a baby-sitter for his daughter, not a lover in his bed.

She felt her lips quiver and lifted her chin, determined not to cry. She wouldn't waste her tears on Thad Law.

She started toward the house and felt the weight of the bottle of bubble solution in her pocket. Without thinking she pulled it out and stared at it, then was forced to blink hard.

She'd foolishly begun to spin a wonderful fantasy around herself and Thad and Brittany. In her mind's eye she already pictured herself at the little girl's school, going on field trips, helping out with activities. She'd seen Brittany in her high-school year-book, at the prom, wearing a cap and gown. She'd even imagined Brittany all grown up, walking down the aisle in a wedding gown, and later dancing with
her father, and thanking the stepmother who had been there for her through all the years.

What a fool she'd been.

Still clutching the bubble bottle she raced up the stairs and closed herself in her bedroom. There, crossing her arms over her chest, she began to pace. As she did, she turned her wrenching sorrow into something much more manageable. Anger. Now that was something she could deal with.

How dare Thad Law treat her like some teenaged baby-sitter. She may have cared for his daughter, but she'd also done a whole lot more than that. And while it was true that she'd made some moves on him, she hadn't been alone in that regard. He'd made some moves of his own. He'd wanted her every bit as desperately as she'd wanted him. A man couldn't fake that kind of raw, unbridled passion. And the look of love in his eyes had been real, as well. She hadn't imagined it.

She stopped pacing. So, what had happened between yesterday and today to change him?

There had been a homicide investigation. Hadn't he warned her that there were dark places inside him? Had this crime triggered something in him? But what? A need to be alone, to brood in private? But why, if he was feeling hurt or angry, had he decided to stop seeing her altogether?

She began to pace again. Maybe he was simply a
man who was afraid of commitment. Hadn't he said his marriage had been a mistake almost from the beginning?

His marriage.

Heather thought back to what he'd told her. He'd given away so little. In fact, if she hadn't forced the issue, he'd have never mentioned his wife. All he'd said was that she'd been beautiful and blond and wealthy.

Heather paused in midstride and closed her eyes as the pain of realization struck.

Thad saw her as another Vanessa. And their situation as a repeat of the first time. A whirlwind courtship, and then…disaster? Hadn't he hinted that his marriage had been unhappy almost from the beginning? It stood to reason that, because of the similarities, he'd decided to cut his losses and run, figuring if he didn't, she would, sooner or later.

With a speed born of desperation she tore open her bedroom door and raced to her uncle's office. Once inside she asked him for the keys to a vehicle and, without a word of explanation, hurried outside.

As she turned the key in the ignition, she wondered what in the world she would say when she reached Thad's apartment. She didn't have a clue. She had no plan, no program, no map to guide her through this maze. All she knew was that she had
to try to plead her case. And if she failed, she'd have the rest of her life to regret it.

 

“I'm hungry, Daddy.”

Brittany's words pulled Thad back from the edge of darkness. “What do you feel like eating, honey?” The thought of food actually repulsed him.

She studied the neon signs flying past the car window. “I like their chicken strips.” She pointed to a flashing sign up ahead. “And their dipping sauce.”

As he drove to the speaker and placed an order it occurred to him that his daughter was only four years old, and she knew the menu of every fast-food place in town. It was one more layer of guilt to wallow in. And he was already practically drowning in it.

By the time they got back to their apartment, he was battling a raging headache. Once inside he began assembling food on a plate while Brittany climbed up to the table.

“Heather likes their dipping sauce, too. But she says her recipe is better.”

“That's nice.” He filled a plastic cup with juice and sat down across from her. “I thought she didn't like to cook.”

“She said she's a good cook. But she doesn't get the chance to do it often. Don't you remember?”

When he didn't answer Brittany glanced at him. “Aren't you eating, Daddy?”

“No. I'm not hungry tonight.”

“Heather likes to eat.”

“Yeah. I've noticed.”

“I like being with Heather. She makes everything fun.” The little girl paused to wipe her mouth. “Why couldn't she come home with us, Daddy?”

“Because she doesn't live here. She lives at the Colton ranch.”

“But she said that isn't her real home. Have you ever seen Heather's real home, Daddy?”

“No, honey.” He sighed. With every mention of that name, the knife was driven deeper. “Eat your dinner before it gets cold.”

At a knock on the door he was almost relieved to escape. “You stay here and I'll see who it is.”

He peered through the peephole and visibly paled. The last thing he'd wanted was another blow to the heart. But apparently that was what he was about to face.

He tore open the door and forced himself to meet those stormy blue eyes. “Heather.”

Seeing the way he barred her entrance, she said simply, “May I come in?”

“Sure.” He stepped aside and saw her glance around as she entered.

“Where's Brittany?”

“In the kitchen. Did you have a reason for coming here? Something you left behind?”

His words were obviously meant to cut. But she'd had plenty of time to think on her way here. She'd already steeled herself to overlook his words and try to hear the meaning beneath them.

She stepped away from the door and stood very tall, needing to hold herself together. “I'm not Vanessa, Thad.”

He blinked. That wasn't at all what he'd expected to hear. “I don't know what you—”

She held up a hand to silence him. “I know you don't like to talk about her. Or about your marriage. But you told me enough to let me fill in the blanks. I'm sorry that the two of you were so badly mismatched, but that has nothing to do with you and me.”

“Doesn't it?” His eyes narrowed. “Do you know how many people go from relationship to relationship, always ending up with the same situation time after time?”

“Don't quote statistics, Thad. This is about us. Or rather, about me. You've decided that because I'm young and blond and come from money, I'm a clone of your first wife. But I'm not. Look at me, Thad. I'm the same woman you couldn't wait to love.”

He winced. “And as I told you, it happened before.”

“But it doesn't have to happen again. You're a different man now than the one who married Vanessa. For one thing you're a father now, Thad, and that has given you a whole new perspective on life.” Her voice lowered. “I know you've been hurt, and that makes you want to guard your heart. But I'd never trample on it, Thad.”

“You may not want to, but you won't be able to help yourself.” When she opened her mouth to protest he said, “Listen to me.” He was careful not to touch her. If he did, he'd be lost. Even now, knowing he had to send her away, he wanted her. Ached for her. “I'm a cop, making do on a cop's salary. How long do you think you could go on living in this cramped apartment before you went to Daddy and asked him to buy you a big house like the one you grew up in?”

“You can't be serious. Do you really think so little of me, Thad?”

He hated the pain in her eyes. But this was for her own good. If he could just hold out a few minutes longer, he'd be doing her the biggest favor of her life. “I once told you that you can't help being who you are, any more than I can help being who I am. And what you are is the product of wealth
and privilege. How could any man ask a princess to live in a hovel?”

“If he loved her enough, he'd ask. And if she loved him enough, she'd be honored to accept.”

She waited, giving him one more chance to say the word that would keep her here. When he remained silent she took a step back, until she felt the door behind her.

Turning, she flung it open and paused on the threshold. “If you'd have asked me, Thad, I'd have stayed for a lifetime.” She swallowed hard. “When you opened the door just now you asked if I'd left something behind. I did. It was my heart. I gave it to you, Thad. You and Brittany, trusting that you'd cherish it the way I cherish the two of you.”

She ran to the car, praying she could hold back the tears.

 

Thad turned to see his little daughter standing in the kitchen doorway. Her eyes were wide and unblinking.

“Why did Heather look so sad, Daddy?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and decided it was time for a little honesty. “Because I sent her away.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought it was best.”

“Best for who, Daddy?”

“For Heather.” He walked closer and knelt down so that he was eye-level with his daughter. “Heather is young and beautiful. We have no right to ask her to spend her life with us.”

“Oh.” She stared into his eyes with the directness so typical of a child. “Are we going to marry someone old and ugly, Daddy?”

The question caught him so off-guard, he was rocked back on his heels. When he found his voice he muttered, “Out of the mouths of babes.” He considered for several moments before saying, “Maybe, in the back of my mind, I was thinking just that. Because it would be safer somehow.”

“What about in the front of your mind, Daddy?”

He nearly smiled. “In the front of my mind I think about Heather. A lot.” He cleared his throat. “Do you think Heather could love us, Brittany?”

She nodded. “Uh-huh. And you know what, Daddy?”

“What, honey?”

“I think you love Heather as much as I do.”

He arched a brow. “Why do you think that?”

“'Cause you look so sad.” She touched a fingertip to the furrow between his brows, just the way she'd seen Heather do. “And that's the same way Heather looked when she left. And you know what else, Daddy?”

“What, honey?”

“When Heather was here with us, we were so happy. I felt like I had a real mommy.”

He held her a little away and stared into her eyes, before shaking his head in wonder. “How did you get so smart?” Then he drew her close to his heart and pressed his lips to her temple. “You're right. And so was Heather. I've made a terrible mistake.” He lifted her in his arms and snatched up his keys. “Come on.”

“Where are we going, Daddy?”

“To make things right.”

 

Thad tried to ignore his daughter's delighted chatter as he drove toward the Colton ranch. What could he possibly say to Heather? The truth, of course. But didn't women want more? Didn't they want the words all wrapped up in pretty paper and tied with ribbon? He was no good at this. Never had been. He was a plainspoken man. Still, he decided to rehearse a few lines. He'd tell her he'd been wrong to think she was anything like Vanessa, but he'd been trying to shield her from his own shortcomings. After all, he was no prize package.

He turned up the drive leading to the ranch and mentally cursed himself. All of that may be true, but there were different degrees of the truth. And in simple language, he'd been protecting his own heart. That was what all of this had been about. He'd been
afraid to love someone as special as Heather McGrath. Afraid that she couldn't possibly love him as much as he loved her.

There. He'd admitted it to himself. Now if only he could do the same to her.

He turned off the ignition and stared at the house a moment before getting out and taking his daughter by the hand.

They were met at the door by Inez who led them to Joe's office. Thad glanced around, expecting to see Heather. Instead, Joe was alone.

Joe looked up with a smile. “Hey, Thad. Hello, Brittany.”

“Hi, Joe. I'm here…we're here,” he corrected, “to see Heather.”

Joe looked from Thad to his daughter and could see the same serious expression in both pair of eyes. “Sorry. She's gone.”

“Gone where?”

“Back to San Diego. She didn't even pack, just asked if she could take one of the cars. I told her the new red Corvette was hers to keep. I bought it as a gift to thank her for all the work she'd done here.”

“She's…gone for good?”

“Yeah.” Joe saw a bleak look come into the detective's eyes and knew that what he'd suspected was true. Heather and Thad must have had some sort
of lover's spat. He'd seen that same bleak look in Heather's eyes when she'd returned from town.