Authors: Cheryl Rainfield
“
It is if it ’
s okay with Kate.
”
“
I ’
ll be right there!
”
I say. I race to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair, then grab my backpack. I turn and find Mom right behind me.
“
Did you take your medication?
”
“
Yes. And I ’
ve got my inhaler. I always do. Did Jenna say yes to lunch?
”
“
No, ”
Mom says, rubbing her shoulder.
“
She said she already had plans with Mason. Who ’
s this Gil? I haven ’
t heard about him before.
”
“
He ’
s a boy at school...he helped me the other day when I had the asthma attack, ”
I say quickly.
“
He ’
s really nice.
”
Mom smiles.
“
He is, is he?
”
“
Yes!
Gotta go. Bye, Mom!
”
I say, kissing her cheek. I head out the door before she can say anything else.
Gil glances at me as we walk.
“
I didn ’
t mean to make things awkward.
”
“
You didn ’
t. My mom ’
s just really protective, especially after my sister eloped last year. And I hadn ’
t got around to telling her about you yet. It was crazy here last night.
”
Gil looks more subdued than usual and he has dark circles beneath his eyes.
“
Is everything okay?
”
I ask.
Gil looks at me grimly.
“
I ’
m sorry I couldn ’
t talk last night. Inez was sobbing about wanting to die, but she couldn ’
t bear to hurt Nana and me. It was a long night. I wish I could kill the bastards who raped her.
”
I reach for his hand.
“
I ’
m so sorry.
”
“
Nana made a big jug of lemonade and we sat on Inez ’
s bed with her, holding her while she cried. She was pretty wrung out, and she still won ’
t see a counselor or even call a crisis line. But at least she hasn ’
t done anything yet. I have you to thank for that.
”
He squeezes my hand.
“
How ’
s your sister?
”
“
Not good. She ’
s so unhappy, but she won ’
t admit that anything ’
s going on. And then she acted like Mason ’
s the one who ’
s protecting her from me. It ’
s so confusing. She said I ’
m hurting her marriage. I just don ’
t know, Gil. Maybe my visions only make things worse.
”
“
You can ’
t really believe that, ”
Gil says, his hand tightening on mine.
“
If you hadn ’
t told me about Inez, she might actually have—”
Gil ’
s voice chokes off.
“
Seriously, Kate—I will be grateful to you forever.
”
I should feel good but I don ’
t .
I try to smile at him, but I do it miserably.
“
What ’
s wrong?
”
Gil asks.
I shake my head.
“
It ’
s stupid.
”
“
No, tell me.
”
I shrug.
“
I just—I don ’
t want you to be with me because you feel grateful. I want you to like me for me.
”
“
I do!
”
Gil stops, and grabs both my arms.
“
You must know that ’
s not why I ’
m with you. I was drawn to you the first time I saw you making a paper dragon in class without Mrs. Sherman seeing it. And even more when I saw you give it to Jeremy after his father died. I like being near you. I feel good around you.
”
“
Really?
”
I stare into his warm brown eyes.
“
Really.
”
He leans in and kisses me.
I press myself up against him, thrilling at the feeling. His strong arms hold me tight and I feel safe—safer and more loved than I have in a long time. I wonder if that ’
s how Jenna felt with Mason at first.
I break the kiss and bury my face in Gil ’
s warm neck. I ’
m so happy with Gil, but I feel guilty, too, especially when I think about how worried Jenna must be, now that she ’
s pregnant. Even as we stand here, Mason could be beating her again. And I know she ’
s not going to tell anyone. It ’
s not just Jenna and Inez I have to protect now. It ’
s Jenna ’
s baby, too. I pull away reluctantly, a wheeze clawing at my chest.
“
What is it?
”
Gil says, touching my cheek.
“
I ’
m worried about Jenna.
”
“
I know you are.
”
And Gil
’
s worried about Inez. What if we haven ’
t done enough for her? What if she still tries to kill herself? I grab Gil ’
s hand and we start walking again. How can I know if we ’
ve thwarted the worst for our sisters if I don ’
t have another vision? I can ’
t just wait for one to happen by itself.
On an impulse, I let go of Gil ’
s hand and shout, “
Race you to school!
”
I run off down the street past empty houses, then a bus shelter, the sidewalk littered with cigarette butts. Ahead of me a mother walks her children to school, a car backs out of a driveway, an old woman bends down on her stoop to collect her mail.
“
Kate, wait!
”
Gil shouts, running after me.
My wheezing gets louder, my breath shorter. My chest hurts with every breath.
Gil grabs my arm, yanking me back.
“
You shouldn ’
t be running, should you?
”
He
’
s too late. I bend over, coughing as my lungs narrow. Houses stare out at me with vacant eyes.
Gil fumbles with my backpack, unzipping the front pocket. I need the vision to come. I can feel my sight shifting, the world around me getting fuzzy, and instead of fighting it, I relax my eyes.
Mason pumps gas for a customer, and listens on his cell ’
s earpiece as I call Jenna. He hears me asking if he ’
s ever hurt her, if I can come over.
“
Badmouthing me, ”
Mason mutters. He finishes with the customer and yanks out his cell, opening up his spyware. He clicks on the GPS option.
“
Yep. Jenna ’
s still at home.
”
“
Excuse me?
”
a customer says.
“
Nothing, ”
Mason says.
“
Just talking to myself.
”
Gil hands me my inhaler. I suck in the medicine, holding it in my lungs as long as I can before I start coughing again. My chest hurts so badly, I fall to my knees. Gil holds me up, pushing the inhaler into my mouth. I use it again.
“
Is she okay?
”
a woman asks, stopping beside us, a bag of groceries in her hand.
“
Should I get help?
”
“
I don ’
t know! Her inhaler ’
s supposed to help. Let ’
s give it a minute to work, ”
Gil says.
“
She lives just a block or two away.
”
“
I ’
m fine, ”
I get out and wave her on.
The woman watches me with doubtful eyes but she walks on, looking once over her shoulder at us.
Mason calls a buddy to cover him, grabs flowers from the bucket near the door, then races home, driving through red lights, tires screeching, listening in as Jenna and I talk in the kitchen.
”
Jenna ’
s bitch sister thinks she can fill Jenna ’
s head with lies? What a piece of work. And Jenna just lets her? What kind of loyalty is that? After all I ’
ve done for her. Just wait until I deal with her.
”
He wrenches open the apartment door, fixes a smile on his face, and makes nice with Jenna until Kate leaves. Then he lets Jenna have it. Beating her where no one will see it, kicking her ribs and her back until she doesn ’
t even cry out any more. Then he tapes her wrists and drags her into the bedroom.
I cough, straining for air.
“
I ’
m going to call 911, ”
Gil says, pulling out his cell.
I grab his arm.
“
No.
”
I cough.
“
Getting better.
”
I suck on my inhaler again, willing the medicine to work.
“
Kate, ”
Gil says, his voice tight.
I shake my head, gasping, and hold up a finger.
“
Give me...a minute.
”
My chest loosens up a little.
I cough again and drag in more air.
“
He ’
s spying on her.
”
I cough.
Gil crouches down in front of me.
“
Who? Your sister ’
s husband?
”
I nod and cough some more. Use the inhaler again.
No way am I going to the hospital. I can control it.
“
Spies on her, then hurts her.
”
Another cough.
“
Always have your cell on you!
”
Mason roars.
“
I want to be able to reach you any time I need you.
”
Jenna cringes, nodding.
Mason smiles, fingering the cell in his jean ’
s pocket.
“
I ’
m taking you home, ”
Gil says.
“
No. It ’
s almost over, ”
I say.
“
We have to help Jenna.
”
“
Yeah, we do. But not like this.
”
I look up at Gil, confused. I cough again, and suck more air into my whistling lungs.
“
Like what?
”
Gil stands and pulls me up with him. His face is dark, his mouth tight.
“
You did this on purpose. You triggered an attack to get a vision.
”
Wow. I didn
’
t think he ’
d know. Didn ’
t think anyone would ever know. But I can ’
t deny it.
“
Of course I did! I have to try to help her.
”
I cough harder, my chest tightening again.
Inez strides home from school, repeatedly looking over her shoulder. Three teen boys follow her, school blazers flapping, shouting, “
Lezzie ! Hey, dyke!
”
They drag her into an alley and ram her up against the wall. Inez punches and kicks them, but there are too many of them. One pins her arms while another unzips her pants.
“
You haven ’
t had it with a real man yet. We ’
ll make you like boys, you queer dyke.
”
Inez screams, punching at them, but they hold her down.
“
Kate!
”
Gil pushes my inhaler toward my mouth.
“
If this doesn ’
t get better fast, I don ’
t care what you say, I ’
m calling 911.
”
“
It ’
s getting better!
”
I say, wheezing, and cough again.