Paper Airplanes (16 page)

“No,
definitely not,” Jared said quickly, squashing any ideas Scott may have had about us and at the same time letting me know just how he felt about that idea.

Granted he might have just been pissed off about what I’d said, but it was hard to tell.
It still stung.

“Oh, then what are you doing here?” Scott asked, looking confused.

“We had our chem lab this morning, and we were going to work on our report,” I said, my gaze shifting back to Jared who had a hard look on his face. Maybe I’d be finishing my part of our report solo.

“Oh,” Scott said, brightening. “That’s cool. I’m just here with some guys from school.” He gestured to the two guys he’d come in with who were in line at the counter. “We were working on a project and needed some fuel. Can we join you guys?”

Scott went to an art college in the next town over. He was studying animation.

“I was just leaving,” Jared said, balling up the rest of his food and stuffing it inside the empty chip bag.
He’d only eaten half of it.

He
stood to leave, so I stood up to go after him, folding up my half-eaten sandwich in the process. He was my ride, so he couldn’t exactly leave me.

“
But you didn’t finish your food,” Scott questioned, a bewildered look on his face as he glanced between me and my full sandwich wrapper.

I paused
, since Jared was already at the exit, hoping he really wouldn’t consider leaving me behind. “I don’t think he’s very hungry anymore.”

“
What happened?” Scott asked me.

I sighed. “W
e sort of got into an argument. I said something I shouldn’t have.”

“Oh, that sucks. What did you say?”

“I’ll tell you later. I need to go talk to him.”

“Yeah, cool. I got you.”

“Thanks, Scotty,” I said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later,” he called after me.

Thankfully once I got outside, I saw that Jared was waiting in his truck for me. I slid in and before I even had my seatbelt buckled, he was flying out of the parking space, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. I’d never seen him like this, so I wasn’t sure what to do.

We drove in silence for a few seconds before I figured I’d better speak up or he might never talk to me again.

“What’s wrong, Jared? What can I do?”

He ignored me, so I put my hand on his forearm. He shook it off.

“Jared,” I said insistently.

“What?” he snapped, his gaze never shifting to mine.

I wasn’t sure if he was pissed at me for what I’d said or at Scott for sharing his personal business. I figured I should apologize again just in case he was upset with me.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean what I said.”

“It’s not about what you said, okay?”

“Okay.”

Well that was good, I guess.

“Do you want to talk about what wrong?”

He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. “No, not really,” he snapped. Then he sighed. “My family is fucked up, Cassie, and I didn’t want you to know that, okay? That’s what’s wrong. I’m pissed at Scott for telling you. It was private.”

“Jared, you can’t help what your parents did, and for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job with
Austin. He’s a good kid.”

“Thank you,” he said tightly. “It’s just embarrassing. My mother didn’t love us enough to stay, and my father w
as such a fucking basket case after she left that he selfishly chose his own solitude over his sons.” He shook his head. “I guess if Evan still lived at home things might have been different, but my asshole of a father couldn’t stand to be around me and Austin, so he bolted.”

“What do you mean?”

He turned his gaze on me, his eyes flashing again. “My father hates me, and I don’t know why, but it’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I grew up with him calling me a pussy because I liked to read and telling me I was worthless. It was constant. And when I was in the hospital a few months ago, he didn’t even come. My mother flew back from Paris to be with me, but he couldn’t even drive up from fucking Cleveland to make sure I was okay. I almost died for godssakes, and he didn’t give a shit.”

He was in the hospital and almost
died
? What the hell? What had happened? He better not have cancer or something life threatening. I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t lose one more person in my life.

“You were in the hospital?” I squeaked out, and I thought a panicked look flashed over his face, but it was gone in an instant.

“Yeah, I was,” he said stiffly.

“What happened? Are you – are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, it was nothing. An accident. I’m fine,” he said so resolutely that I believed him, and I believed that he didn’t want me to ask any more questions about it, so I changed the subject.

“And your dad didn’t come?” I asked softly, bringing us back to the conversation we’d been having.

I couldn’t believe that was true. That was horrible. There must have been some other reason why his dad hadn’t come when he was in the hospital.

He looked over at me as I processed what he’d just said. “Believe it,” he said, because he must have known by my expression that I couldn’t wrap my head around that reality. “Evan was always his favorite, and my mom favored
Austin. No one favored me. I was the son my father didn’t understand, who was weird and never fit in, and he hated that. He was always so disappointed in me, no matter what I did, and
she
never stood up for me. She let him treat me like shit, call me a loser and a fag. She never did
anything
.”

His voice cracked on the
last word, and I was shocked to see him wipe away a tear that had spilled over onto his cheek.

“Pull over,” I told him, and he did, without question.

As soon as the car was in park, I pulled him into my arms, not caring what was right and wrong, because when I’d been falling apart he’d done it for me. It was what friends did.

He started
silently sobbing against my shoulder, his body shaking, as I ran my hand up and down his back.

“
Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay,” I said as I held him as tightly as I could.

He pulled back after less than a minute, wiping under his eyes with the heels of his hands, his gaze fixed out the front windshield.

“I guess I really am a pussy,” he said, shaking his head.

“Don’t ever say that,” I said as I
reached over and took his hand in mine.

He didn’t look at me.

“Jared, I don’t have enough fingers to list off how wonderful of a person you are. You’re smart and kind and selfless and about twenty other things that make you incredibly special, and if your parents couldn’t see that, then screw them.”

He swallowed and looked over at me, his eyes red-rimmed. “You really believe that?”

“Yeah, I do,” I told him as I stroked my thumb over the back of his hand.

I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not as he
ran his free hand back through his hair and took a deep breath. “At least I have one person who cares,” he said sarcastically.

“Stop it. You have more than just me. You have Scott and his entire family, you have
Austin and Evan, and everyone at work thinks you walk on water. Not to mention the people who’ve rated your book five stars – they all think you’re really awesome. I’ve read those reviews. You just need to take a step back and see how awesome you really are.”

That brought a small smile to his face. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

“I’ve never told anyone
except my therapist that stuff,” he said after a few seconds of silence.

It was the first I was hearing that he saw a therapist, but I figured it wasn’t the right time to question him about it. I’d learned a few things in my Intro to Psych class, and I knew sometimes it was better to just let things go.

“Thanks for listening,” he said, his expression so soft and vulnerable.

“Do you feel better now?” I
asked him, my fingers still entwined with his. I loved the feel of them there.

He shrugged. “I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. Now we’re even.”

He turned to look at me as he tried to fight the smirk that wanted to creep up on his face. “Yeah?”

I smiled. “Yeah, you let me cry on your shoulder, and I let you cry on mine. We’re even.”

“Not very masculine of me, huh?”

I shook my head. “Don’t think that way. Everybody cries.”

“And everybody hurts?” he questioned.

It took me a second, but then I realized where I knew that line from. “R.E.M., right?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“My dad’s a big fan.”

He smiled. “
So’s Chris. He always used to play their stuff in the car when he’d take Scott and me to school.”

“What a depressing way to start the day.”

“He didn’t always play
that
song. He mostly played their upbeat stuff, but over the years I heard it all.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, my hand still squeezing his. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

With that he started the engine and pulled his hand from mine. I sat up, and we pulled back into traffic and headed for home. Neither of us said word the whole way, and when Jared pulled into my driveway, he told me he’d write up the lab report.

“I’ll do half like I always do,” I told him, and he shook his head.

“No, I’ve got this one. My way of saying thanks.”

“Okay then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow
?”

“See you
tomorrow.”

I watched him pull out of the driveway and wave to me from the end before I trudged inside. I was glad we were okay. He was one of my only friends, and the last thing I wanted to do was fight with him.
But I hated to see him hurting. I hated his parents for what they’d done to him and how they’d made him question his self-worth. He was so much more than what they saw, and I could only hope that in time he’d realize it. They were just two people, and they were obviously idiots if they couldn’t see Jared for the amazing guy he was.

Chapter Twelve

Cassie

I’d been working at Dawson’s for
a month, and I’d finally just started to get the hang of how to juggle several tables at once and keep everyone happy. It was crazy, but I loved how busy it kept me. My mind didn’t have a chance to think about the things I just wanted to forget and for that I was grateful.

I slid back behind the serv
ers’ station to refill two Cokes for my last table of the night and stopped short when I saw a paper airplane sitting on the counter. In the past few weeks it had become a thing with Jared and me. He’d leave an airplane on the counter, and inside it would include some snarky comment or a joke or just
Hi.
I started to get excited whenever I saw one waiting for me.

I smiled a
nd picked it up, looking out into the dining room where Jared was talking to one of his tables. I opened the airplane and laughed out loud. Inside was scrawled,
Bad toupee at 2 o’clock.

I looked out at the dining room to see a man with salt and pepper hair and a very obvious back toupee and smiled before I
refolded the airplane and stuck it in my pocket. Rick would have a fit it he caught us making fun of the customers, but at least we weren’t doing it out loud.

As
I was filling my last soda, Jared came up next to me and filled a kid’s cup with ice and Sprite. We were so close, my hip was touching his thigh, and the closeness made me all squirmy inside in a really good way.

He smiled at me. I’d grown to love his smile the more time I’d spent with him. I was honestly worried things might be strained between us after he’d broken down on me two weeks earlier, but they’d been fine. It was almost as if it had never happened. Almost, because every
now and then we’d exchange a knowing look, but we never talked about what he’d shared with me or how it made him feel. And in truth, I was pretty sure we’d grown closer as a result, which wasn’t a bad thing.

“I’m thinking you should start sporting one of those,” I told him, and he smiled, knowing I was talking about the toupee.

“Would it make me sexy?” he asked.

“Totally,” I said, grinning at him.

He just smiled in return. “Something to consider.”

There was a comfortable silence between us as we finished filling cups with soda.

“You get off at seven, right?” Jared asked me as I was about to head back into the dining room.

“Yeah, I do. You
too?”

I’d already transitioned most of my section to Rodney who was closing that night
, and I had one last party left before I could clock out. I’d noticed Jared doing the same thing with Alyssa even though I already knew his schedule by heart and knew he was getting off at the same time as me.

He nodded. “Any big plans?”

I gave him a look. He knew me well enough by then to know that I never had plans. If I wasn’t hanging out with him
and Scott, which I’d done pretty regularly over the past few weeks, I was going home to read or watch a movie. My social life was pretty bleak.

“I’ll take that as a no,” he said
, winking at me as he left the station with a tray full of drinks.

I followed him out to the floor and delivered the Cokes to my table. They asked for their check, so I handed it to them and told them I’d take it whenever they were ready.

Then I went back behind the station to wait until I could see them produce their credit card. Jared came back with a check in hand and went over to the register. I walked over to him, catching Brooke watching us from behind the bar. She’d started bartending a few nights a week, which meant that I didn’t have to deal with her as much, but she still kept close tabs on me and how often I talked to Jared.

After
I’d learned what had gone down with them, I now had even more of an intense dislike for her. She was not someone I cared to give the time of day to if she was willing to treat someone as nice as Jared like she had. So we barely spoke, only muttering things to each other when we had to, and she usually gave me a few death-stares each night. I was used to them by now.

It wasn’t like Jared and I were even hooking up. We were just friends – in every sense of the word. And although we were flirty with each other, he’d kept things between us strictly platonic, which I’d told myself I was fine with – which might have been a lie. No matter how much I’d tried to fight my feelings, over the past two weeks I’d started to like Jared even more. I found myself daydreaming about him when he wasn’t around, watching him from across the restaurant and wishing he’d make the first move in the moments when we were alone, because I was too afraid to do it. I was afraid to make it known what I wanted, because it still felt like a betrayal to Will. I felt as guilty as ever, but if Jared made the first move, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back.

But no matter what was truly going on with us and how he felt about me, Brooke hated that Jared was friends with me and not with her. I figured that if she wanted to be his friend, she probably shouldn’t have cheated on him, but that was just me.

“Cassie!” Scott said then, coming out of the kitchen looking sweaty and tired. He was worki
ng a double, staying until closing.

He tried to give me a hug, but I dodged him and hid behind Jared, loving the fact that I could inhale his ci
trusy scent and feel the heat from his body from so close.

“You’re all swea
ty and gross,” I said to Scott, peaking around Jared.

Scott
feigned looking offended and tried to grab for me again, so I slid further behind Jared who was pretty much sandwiched between us.

“Hey, I’m working here,” Jared said, as he slid away from me, but then he winked at me, so I knew he was only joking.

“Can you give me a ride later?” Scott asked me.

“Where’s your car?”

He sighed. “I might have backed it into a telephone pole yesterday, so it might be in the shop.”

“Scott!” I said, laughing as I said it.

He was one of the worst drivers I knew. Just the week before he’d driven too close to the guardrail and scraped the side of his Acura all to hell. I was honestly afraid he was going to kill himself for lack of paying attention. It was a good thing he didn’t drink, because I’d hate to see how lethal he’d be behind the wheel of a car when intoxicated.

“Here,” Jared said, coming back behind the station again. He handed me a billfold with a credit card sticking out. “It’s from table fifteen. I think you might have lost some tip money there. They saw you messing around with Scott and got annoyed.”

“Aww crap,” I said as I processed their check as quickly as I could.

Then I ran it over to their table. From the look the guy gave me, I didn’t even bother apologizing. Jared was right. They were probably going to stiff me. I had to be careful of how playful I got at work. Scott never knew when to turn it off, and I played right into his silliness. It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten distracted and forgot about a table because of him.

When I came back behind the station, Jared was clocking out, so I stood behind him.

“Where did Scott go?”

“Back to the kitchen. I’m going to come back later and pick him up.”

“Oh, I would have done it,” I said, realizing I’d never answered him when he asked for a ride.

“It’s fine. I have no problem doing it.”

“Well, what are you doing until then?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll probably go home and read or watch a movie or something.”

He
had the same plans as me. How sad were we?

“Do you want to come over to my house?” I asked.

He looked up at me in surprise. “For what?”

I’d never invited him or Scott over before. We always hung out at Scott’s house
, and outside of studying or getting food after class, I’d never invited Jared to hang out alone. I think he might have been reading into my invitation a little too much. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was asking him out if he wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to create any weirdness between us. I honestly just didn’t want to be alone that night.

“I don’t know,
because we both have nothing else to do,” I said, shrugging. “We could order take out and watch a movie. My parents will be home, so it’s not like we’ll be alone or anything.”

“Oh. Yeah sure,
” he said, sounding relieved.

He’d
totally thought I was asking him out. Why did he sound relieved that I wasn’t? I didn’t want him to be relieved. I wanted him to want me.

And that was the truth. I wanted him. I liked him. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into my driveway. Jared parked behind me and followed me up the walkway. I opened the door to find my parents in the family room watching an old black and white movie. They paused it when they saw me walk in the house with a boy. It had been a few years since I’d done that.

“Hey guys,” I said, lingering in the doorway. I gestured to Jared. “This is
my friend, Jared.”

“Hi Jared,” my mother said, looking
a solid mix of surprised and delighted. I knew I’d have to explain who he was later since she’d never believe we were just friends. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice t
o meet you too, Mrs. Witter,” Jared said politely in that shy voice he got around people he didn’t know. It was completely adorable.

He
was adorable, and all the way home all I could think about as he drove behind me was how much I no longer wanted to be platonic with him. I didn’t want to just be his friend. And I hoped that didn’t make me a bad person. It wasn’t like I could control how I felt.

Now I just had to figure out where his head was at since it was hard to tell. Maybe making the first move would be a better idea than wa
iting. Maybe I’d do that as soon as we were alone.

My dad
had stayed relatively quiet since we’d walked in, eyeing Jared from his place on the couch, but I could see he was sizing him up. He’d ask questions later to figure out if Jared was a good enough guy for his little girl. I was pretty convinced he was, and I was fairly certain my dad would agree.

“We’re going to go upstairs and watch a movie.”

“Have fun,” my mother told us.

“Keep the door open, Cass,” my father said, and I
raised an eyebrow at him.

It had been years since they’d told me that. I’d been away at school, able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted with the boys I dated. It was weird to have parameters put on me. But I knew where his intentions lied, so I didn’t argue. I just shook my head and smiled when he raised his eyebrow right back at me as if challenging me to say something.

“Yes, Daddy. We will,” I told him, just because it made him feel better to think he had some semblance of control over my purity. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the virginity ship had sailed several years back.

He winked at me good-naturedly and said to Jared, “I’m just looking out for my baby girl. She’s been through a lot this year. You understand, son?”

Jared nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said, shifting into monosyllabic mode before he followed me upstairs.

In truth I wasn’t sure how much Jared really knew about how much I
’d been through that year. I hadn’t told him about the shooting, and if he knew I was involved, he hadn’t said anything. It was one subject we didn’t entertain.

I showed him around the
half of the second floor which was pretty much mine. There was a guest room that my grandmother stayed in when she visited once a year, and then I had my room, a media room and a game room that my parents used when they had friends over. Pretty much, it was like my own little apartment. My parents had a master suite on the other side of the house.

“So what do you want to watch?” Jared asked, talking normally now that we were alone.

He was standing in the middle of the media room looking at the massive amount of Blue Rays and DVDs we’d collected over the years that lined the walls on either sides of the hundred and twenty inch projection screen. My dad was a movie junkie, so he bought almost everything that came out.

“I
actually think I want to go swimming,” I told Jared as I lingered in the doorway.

He looked
over at me in surprise. “Swimming?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I smell like fried food and feel gross. Swimming sounds great.”

I could have just taken a shower, but swimming in the dark with Jared sounded like more fun. And truth be told, I was kind of dying to see him shirtless. If his toned arms told me anything, it was that he had a killer body.

“I don’t have my bathing suit.”

I grinned and said. “Just go naked.”

His jaw dropped
partially open, and he struggled to find words as I burst out laughing.