Read Over the Hills and Far Away (NOLA's Own #1) Online
Authors: Kelli Jean
“There’s only one man who I’ll share it with, and that’s you,” I assured him.
“Too fuckin’ right.”
“The same goes for you, mister. You keep that monster dick of yours clean—and no blow jobs from groupies either!”
“
Baby Girl, you’ve ruined all other blow jobs for me.”
“Too fuckin’ right,” I retorted.
He busted out laughing. “I miss you, Kenna. This really sucks. And you know what the worst is?”
“What’s that?”
“I’m gonna be a walkin’ hard-on for two more days. I got a case of blue balls that would bring a lesser man to his knees. It even fuckin’ hurts to sit.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I could kick your ass for being such a gentleman and not wanting to fuck and leave. I’ve been touching myself way more than what would be considered normal.”
He groaned and said, “I wanted to so bad. I’ve never wanted anything more.”
“I know,” I said softly.
“It’s just the beginning, I promise.” His voice sounded raw.
“That was one hell of a beginning.” My voice sounded pretty raw as well. I started laughing.
“What?”
“I just think it’s funny how the tables are flipped. You wanted to wait, and I had no qualms about fucking you and watching you leave. I guess we know who’s the debauched one in this relationship.”
“You know, I think you’re right.”
“Ass.”
“Pervert.”
Alys, Lili, and I ended up going to The Bony Fish, a local seafood and steakhouse for dinner. So far, I’d been a little nervous about broaching the subject of Phil coming and staying the night on Friday, but after a pitcher of strawberry margaritas, the liquid courage calmed my nerves.
“So, I asked Phil to have dinner with us on Friday. I’ll be picking him up at the airport, and I thought that…well, he really wants to know where we live.”
“Sounds good,” said Alys, nodding.
“I’ve also asked him if he’d like to stay the night.”
“Okay.” Alys replied.
“And I was hoping you two would go somewhere else.”
Lili shot a mean glare my way while Alys busted out laughing.
“Why do we have to leave?” huffed Lili.
“So, they can have wild sex, Lili. Remember what that was like?” said Alys.
“It’s been a while,” grumbled Lili. “Why don’t you just stay at his place again? Wasn’t Sunday wild enough?”
My face blazed red. Actually, it might have been giving off a slight glow.
“Oh my God! You guys
didn’t
have sex on Sunday?” Lili asked, incredulous.
“We wanted to wait,” I muttered lamely. “He didn’t want to throw it in and then leave.”
“How noble of him,” said Alys, meaning it.
“I still don’t see why we have to leave—”
“For God’s sake, Lili!” said Alys. “She wants to have some privacy, and she wants to be home so she can feel comfortable!”
“It’s our home, too—”
Alys turned to me, holding up her hand in front of Lili’s face. “It’s no problem, Kenna. We’ll stay at my parents’ house. They won’t mind.”
“Thanks,” I said.
Lili asked, “What do you plan on making for dinner?”
“What would you like to have, Lili?” I asked, mentally kicking myself for doing so.
She’d make a diabolical request just because she’d have to leave the house.
“Chicken and steak fajitas with homemade tortillas.”
“Jeez, Lili, way to fucking milk the situation,” bristled Alys.
“Hey, I’m being kicked out of my home! I should at least get a decent dinner for it!”
“It’s fine. We can have that,” I said.
It was going to be a lot of work, but it always ended up being worth it. Alys would help me, and she was the only one who truly had the power to guilt-trip Lili into helping, too.
“So, are you going to finally tell us what you guys
did
do this past weekend?” asked Alys.
I ended up telling them pretty much everything, especially about the monster extra limb between Phil’s legs that had the girth of my forearm.
“Who would have actually thought that all that practice with the sausages would one day pay off?” joked Alys.
“That’s not all. I might have accidentally told him that I loved him,” I confessed, stirring my margarita.
“What? What!” cried Lili.
Alys’s jaw dropped.
“It wasn’t like I said ‘I love you.’ It was more like…” I stopped to think back to that morning. “He was pissed he had to leave, and I said, ‘Don’t be. I love who you are, and this is a part—’ or some such shit.”
“What did he say?” Lili demanded.
“Nothing. He grabbed me all caveman-like and kissed me, and then…I think he almost cried. His eyes got all misty.”
Alys sighed, and Lili snorted.
“I love you guys. You both capture everything I’m feeling.”
I woke up on Thursday, buzzing with a sense of excitement. Phil would be back tomorrow, and I was ready to let him into my home and fully into my
life
. It made me really nervous. I hadn’t really let a man in like this. Brian had known where I lived, but he never stayed over until Grandma had—
I’d never had sex in
this
bedroom. I’d had sex with Jaime in my old bedroom way back in the day, but I hadn’t again since he and I broke up. My poor new bedroom hadn’t seen action since my parents used it.
How sad.
It was about fucking time.
What better way to break it in than with my very own personal rock god? Fuck. Yes.
The morning consisted of yoga, coffee with the girls, shower, and then work.
“Morning, Lucy,” I called out as I walked through the door.
“Good morning, Dr. MacGregor,” chimed her sweet voice.
Today, she had Andrei Krylov’s acoustic guitars and violins playing over the sound system.
Very nice.
Bless the woman.
I hadn’t heard Enya in over a week.
My first text message beeped as I dropped my bag under my desk, and then I shrugged on my medical overcoat.
Your Phil: I can’t wait to see you, Baby Girl. I can’t stop thinking about you.
The morning was passing by at a decent pace.
I saw a few of my regular patients who were pretty awesome people, especially Mrs. Flowers. She was an eighty-three-year-old woman, and she had to be the most hilarious person on the face of the earth. She had a short mop of wispy curly hair that had a bit of a brassy blonde hue to it since she preferred not to be white-haired. I’d even bet that she was a knock-out in her day.
She hobbled in on her numbed feet—due to type 2 diabetes—and stripped down to her underwear. She had no qualms about getting naked. After freeing her wrinkly old tits, they swayed like pendulums as she made her way to the bench, and I assisted her into a supine position.
“Dr. MacGregor, you are positively glowing!” she remarked, her wrinkled face lifting with a brilliant smile.
I covered her floppy tits with a large towel. “I’m feeling pretty good, Mrs. Flowers. How about you?”
“Got more important things to do other than complain about what I can’t change. So, you’ve met a man then?”
I laughed. “What makes you say that?”
“You don’t get to be my age without noticing a few things along the way, dear. Tell me about him!”
Normally, I wouldn’t get too personal with my patients, but Mrs. Flowers was special to me, and we’d exchanged stories before. Well, mostly, she would do so. She’d make me laugh so hard that I could barely get through a treatment with her. Sometimes, patients needed some reciprocation. It was good for them to see that their practitioners were humans, too.
For a few minutes, I told her about Phil as I massaged her numb cold feet. I also did some reflexology and acupuncture to help relieve her discomfort. Then, I turned her onto her stomach, wrapped her feet and legs in a warm wet wrap, and massaged her back until the wrap grew cool.
“You’re still sticking to your diet, Mrs. Flowers?” I asked her as she got dressed.
She shrugged. “I had some dark chocolate yesterday but only a little piece, mind you.”
“Well, as long as it was only a little piece, I’m sure you’ll be fine. But otherwise?”
She nodded. “I like the recipes you gave me. And I do feel good after I eat them. You were right about the cayenne supplements. They do make me feel a bit warmer.”
“That’s great!” I said.
I walked her out to the reception desk for Lucy to take payment and book her in for another treatment in two weeks.
The rest of my day went pretty much the same. I was just going through the motions until I got to leave. That irritated me a little because I’d loved coming to work a week ago. I enjoyed helping people, and now, all I could do was wait for the time to pass, so I could be with Phil again.
I seriously hoped this wasn’t the way the rest of my life was going to be.
My phone beeped.
Your Phil: I can’t get this chub down. I got 2 brains, and they’re both thinking about you.
That put a smile on my face, and time sped up once more.
When I got home, I started prepping Lili’s demanding choice for tomorrow’s dinner. Normally, I would only make around ten tortillas for the three of us. However, feeding Phil was not going to be an easy task, so I decided to double the portions.
Alys showed up with Sushi Point since I certainly was not making dinner tonight.
“Shit, Kenna. Are we feeding an army tomorrow?” she asked, stowing the sushi in the fridge.
“No, we’re feeding a Phil, and he can
eat
an army.”
“Well, he is a big boy.”
“No lie. The man can eat three times as much as I can. I could smack Lili for making me do this. It wasn’t so bad agreeing to it, but now that I have to do it…”
“I got your back, woman. What do you need me to do?”
“Get the marinade going, and then we can start on the chicken and beef.”
We heard Lili come in through the front door, just getting home from work. She plopped down at the breakfast bar.
“Wow. How many are we feeding?” she asked.
“Phil’s a big eater,” replied Alys.
“Huh. Makes sense. He’s a freakin’ giant.”
Alys plopped a bowl of onions and peppers in front of Lili. “And you can julienne the peppers and onions—”
“Onions?” wailed Lili.
“You
had
to have
homemade
fajitas! You think it’s fair to put Kenna through all this work because you’re pissy about having to leave the house for
one
night? Like she doesn’t have enough to do already? Get your ass chopping!”
Grumbling, Lili rose up and grabbed a cutting board and knife. Lili liked to bitch, if only to get Alys riled up. It took a lot to get Alys riled in any case, but when she was, Lili and I would be entertained.
Our tiny Colombian took a long time to julienne the vegetables. In the time it took Lili to slice up two onions and four peppers, Alys and I finished twenty tortillas, chopped up four pounds of beef and chicken, and had it all in the marinade.
Once everything was stowed away in the fridge, we cleaned up. We had ten minutes until
Metal Madness Hour
began. We grabbed the sushi and dropped down onto the couches in front of the TV.
“Are you excited about tomorrow then?” Lili asked.
“That’s an understatement.” I replied.