Authors: Javier Cercas
‘That, as I said, on the one hand. But on the other Zarco seemed to wish to establish distance, to put up a barrier of vanity between us. I mean that, at a certain moment – when we started to talk about his next trial and play the roles of a lawyer and his client – things changed, I noticed that he wasn’t prepared to let me forget that he was not just any old inmate, I felt that he wanted subtly to make me aware that I had never had nor would I ever have a client like him, who, although he was a man of flesh and blood, he was still a legend, and who, although he was a person, was still a persona. It’s not just that he tried to examine my knowledge of the law and argued with me over judicial particulars, even quoting the penal code a couple of times (both, by the way, incorrectly); this amused me and, to be honest, didn’t entirely surprise me: Zarco was famous for doing this kind of thing to his lawyers. What really shocked me was his arrogance, his haughtiness, the condescending impatience with which he listened to me, the tense conceit of some of his comments; I didn’t remember Zarco as stuck-up or self-important and, as I’ve always thought arrogance hid a feeling of inferiority, I soon interpreted this change as the clearest sign of Zarco’s helplessness. That’s also how I interpreted – as an indication of his private weakness, or his fragility – the way he displayed, in an almost high-handed way, his awareness of being a special inmate, of enjoying a special status in prison and of that being backed up by the prison authorities, because after all someone who knows himself to be strong doesn’t need to display his strength, don’t you think? Have you spoken with my friend Pere Prada yet?, Zarco asked as soon as we started arguing about his defence. With whom?, I asked. With my friend Pere Prada!, he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe I didn’t know who he was. I soon remembered: Prada was the Catalan government’s director-general of prisons, the same man who, according to what Tere had told me the previous day, had taken an interest in Zarco’s case and facilitated his transfer to Gerona. No, I confessed, a little perplexed. Shit, what are you waiting for!, Zarco urged me. Pere doesn’t know anything, but he’s in charge, I’ve got him wrapped around my little finger, he’s eating out of my hand now. Call him and he’ll tell you what you have to do . . . Anyway. This was the essential contradiction that jumped out at me that first afternoon: Zarco both wanted and didn’t want to go on being Zarco, he wanted and didn’t want to bear the weight of his legend, his myth and his nickname, he wanted to be a person rather than a persona at the same time as wanting to be, as well as a person, a persona. None of what I heard Zarco say or saw him do from that day on refuted that contradiction or made me think he’d resolved it. Sometimes I think that’s what killed him.
‘When we finished talking that day, Zarco and I stood up to go – he back to his cell, me back to my office, or home – but I hadn’t left the visiting room when I heard: Hey, Gafitas. I turned around. Zarco was looking at me from the opposite corner of the room, with one hand on the knob of the half-open door. Have I said thanks yet?, he asked. I smiled. No, I answered. But there’s no need. And I added: You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Zarco stared at me for a couple of seconds; then he smiled too.’
‘Let me make one thing clear from the start. I don’t like talking to journalists, I don’t like talking about Antonio Gamallo, and what I like least of all is talking to journalists about Antonio Gamallo; in fact, this is the first time I’ve spoken of the matter with a journalist.’
‘I’m not a journalist.’
‘Aren’t you writing a book about Zarco?’
‘Yes, but . . .’
‘Then it’s as if you were a journalist. I’ll tell you the truth: I wouldn’t have agreed to talk to you if it hadn’t been the daughter of a good friend of mine who asked me to, and because she promised my name would not appear in the book. I understand you’ll respect that promise.’
‘Of course.’
‘Don’t be offended: I don’t have anything against you personally; but I do have quite a bit against journalists. They’re a bunch of tricksters. They make things up. They lie. And, since they tell lies disguised as truths, people live in tremendous confusion. You take what they did to Gamallo, to Gamallo’s wife, to Ignacio Cañas; journalism is a meat-grinder: everyone gets crushed, and they’ll crush everything you put in front of them. They get nothing from me. Well. Now that we’ve got that clear, I’m at your disposal, although I have to warn you I spoke very little with Gamallo. There are lots of people who knew him much better than I did. By the way, have you already spoken with his wife?’
‘María Vela? She charges for interviews. Besides, everyone already knows her version, she’s told it a thousand times.’
‘True. And the other woman? Have you talked to her?’
‘You mean Tere?’
‘Yes. She could tell you lots of things; they say she’s known Gamallo all her life.’
‘I know. But she’s dead. She died a couple of weeks ago, near here, in Font de la Pòlvora.’
‘Ah.’
‘Did you know her?’
‘By sight.’
‘Look, I understand your reservations. I understand that you don’t want to make statements to the press. And that you don’t like talking about Zarco. But, as I said, I’m not a journalist, I don’t work for a radio or television station or write in a newspaper, and I’m not even sure I’m going to write about Zarco.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No. That was the idea at first, yes: to write a book about Zarco that denounced all the lies that have been told about him and tell the truth or a portion of the truth. But a person doesn’t write the books he wants to write, but those he can or those he finds, and the book I’ve found both is and isn’t that one.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know yet. I’ll know when I finish writing it. At the moment all I know is that the book will be about Zarco, of course, but also about Zarco’s relationship with Ignacio Cañas, or about Zarco’s relationship with Ignacio Cañas and with Tere, or about Ignacio Cañas’ relationship with Tere and with Zarco. Anyhow: as I said I still have to find that out.’
‘I didn’t have anything to do with the girl, but I had more to do with Cañas than with Gamallo.’
‘I know. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. Actually it was Cañas who suggested I should. It seemed like a good idea: after all, apart from Tere and María you’re the only person who was in contact with both of them at that time. Cañas also says that he has the impression that you understood things that no one else understood, not even him.’
‘He says that?’
‘Yes.’
‘It might be true: I’ve had the same impression myself sometimes. You see, it always seemed to me that, deep down, Cañas always thought that Gamallo was a victim. You know: the good thief in his youth, the perpetual rebel, the Billy the Kid or Robin Hood of his day, and then – it turns out to be the same thing except in reverse – the villain who comes to understand the evil he’s done and turns into the repentant delinquent; anyway, that story the journalists invented to sell papers, and then so many people bought it, starting with Gamallo himself. How could he not buy it, pretty as it was and with him coming out of it so well in the articles, in the songs, in the books and films about him? And I’m not saying that the story didn’t have some truth to it, albeit a small part; what I say is that Cañas was a victim of that myth, or that legend, of that great invention. Cañas believed that Gamallo was a victim of society, but Cañas turned out to be the victim himself: a victim of the legend of Zarco. That’s the reality. That he’d known Gamallo when he was young, as we discovered later, mustn’t have helped him at all, but I don’t think it was the main thing either: for me the main thing is that Cañas had grown up with the myth of Zarco, that it was the myth of his generation, and that, like so many people of his generation, he thought he could redeem him. Of course, he also thought that by redeeming him he’d make money and become famous; one thing doesn’t rule out the other: Cañas was no charitable nun. But the truth is at that moment he believed he could help Gamallo, or rather that he could save him and score a bit along the way. And believing that hurt him. And perhaps this is what Cañas has the impression that I and no one else understand, not even him, but actually I think it’s not that he doesn’t understand it but that he doesn’t want to understand.
‘But, well, if I have to tell you the story it would be best to start at the beginning. Cañas and I didn’t meet when Gamallo arrived in Gerona: we knew each other before; not well, but we knew each other. He always had clients in the prison and he visited them regularly, so our paths had crossed in the entrance foyer and we’d chatted for a moment or two. That was the extent of my relationship with him: the normal relationship of the superintendent of a prison and a lawyer with several clients incarcerated there. Anyway, although I barely knew him I didn’t have a very good impression of him; I don’t know why: we’d never had any friction, and everybody knew he was the most competent criminal lawyer in the province; or maybe I do know: because Cañas had the unmistakable vanity of guys who triumph too young; and because hardly a morning would go by without his face appearing in the papers: it was obvious the journalists adored him and he adored the journalists and, as you’ve realized, I distrust people who adore journalists. In spite of that, from the moment Gamallo arrived in my prison and I learned that Cañas was going to defend him, I wanted to talk to him.’
‘What for?’
‘I’ll explain. At the end of 1999, when he arrived in Gerona, Gamallo was no longer the most famous prisoner in Spain, but he was still Zarco, a legend of juvenile delinquency; and although physically he was in bad shape, he still had a lot of fight in him. On the other hand I was sure that Cañas had agreed to defend him to profit from his renown, among other reasons because Zarco was an inmate who couldn’t pay him and who had a tremendous history of conflicts with his lawyers. So I wanted to speak to him before Gamallo started causing the troubles he’d caused in every prison he’d been incarcerated in: I wanted him to convince Gamallo not to cause them, I wanted to arrive at an agreement with him and turn him into my ally and not my rival and enemy and, since I thought this could only benefit both of us (or rather all three of us), I was sure that it would be easy for me to achieve it.
‘I was wrong, and that was the first surprise I had from Cañas.’
‘When I finished my interview with Zarco in the prison I had made two commitments: to be his lawyer in a trial for the incident at the Brians prison and to set up a strategy to get him released. Along with the happiness produced by the reappearance of Tere and Zarco, this event worked like a catalyst on me. Suddenly everything changed. Suddenly I had, in the misunderstanding of the anodyne life I was leading, the flavour of a goal and the passion of a challenge: defending Zarco and getting him out on the street as soon as possible.
‘That’s what I immediately started to do. The morning following the interview with Zarco I handed my two partners two copies of his prison record and the Brians indictment, asked them to study those papers and buried myself back in them. As soon as I did I began to think that Zarco’s predictions about his future were less unrealistic than I’d initially thought; two days later, meeting with Cortés and Gubau again, I realized that they both shared my opinion: none of us were as optimistic as Zarco, but all three thought that, if we took the correct steps, Zarco could be out of prison in three or four years, and that was in spite of having firm sentences adding up to more than twenty. Of course, none of the three of us wondered whether Zarco was prepared to leave prison so soon and, when I left Cortés and Gubau, we still hadn’t decided what the steps were that we had to take to get him out, and how to take them (actually, it wasn’t urgent that we decide: we couldn’t tackle the subject until the Brians trial was over). Be that as it may, over the following days I suspected that, in our case, taking the adequate steps would probably include trying to resuscitate Zarco’s media image, because that was the only way to get political support, through popular support, and prison perks and benefits through political support, until we could get a pardon. The problem, I then said to myself, was how to achieve Zarco’s media resurrection; that is: how to focus the media’s attention on a figure already so overexposed?; how to convince the media that a person from the past could be of some interest in the present?; and most of all, and in light of the more or less serious but failed attempts to rehabilitate him, how to convince the media again and get the media to convince the public that Zarco deserved one final chance, that he’d learned from his past errors, that he no longer had anything to do with the legend or myth of Zarco but only with the reality of Antonio Gamallo, a man approaching his forties with a turbulent past of poverty, prison and violence seeking to construct an honest future for himself in freedom and thereby needing the support of public opinion and the politicians in power?
‘Those were some of the questions I asked myself over the days that followed my re-encounter with Zarco. That week of surprises ended with another surprise. Friday evening, as we often did, Cortés, Gubau and I had a few beers at the Royal, a café in Sant Agustí Plaza. When we left the Royal night had fallen. It was raining. I didn’t have an umbrella with me, but Cortés and Gubau both did, so Gubau lent me his as he and Cortés were both heading towards the newer part of the city. In a Middle Eastern restaurant on Ballesteries Street I stopped to buy a plate of falafels with yogurt sauce and pitta bread and a couple of cans of beer; then I carried on home. The streets of the old quarter were deserted and the paving stones shiny with rain under the streetlights, and as I reached the door to my building I had to do a balancing act: holding the umbrella, my briefcase and my dinner in one hand and trying to open the door with the other. I hadn’t yet managed to get it open when I heard: Fuck, Gafitas, you practically live in La Font. It was Tere. She was a few metres away from me, having just emerged from the doorway across the street, with her hair wet and jacket collar turned up and hands in her pockets; what she said about La Font, by the way, was true: I have a loft in the same block where La Font was thirty years ago. What are you doing here?, I asked her. I was waiting for you, she answered. She pointed at my umbrella, briefcase and the bag with my dinner in it and said: Can I lend you a hand? She lent me a hand, I opened the door, she handed me back what I’d given her to hold. Do you want to come up?, I asked.