Authors: Dawn Millen
Sandra, Paul, Krystal, Raymond and Jasmine and her family all gather on the blanket with me and we sit there singing with our arms around each other and the younger children crowded in our laps as they cuddle down to sleep.
Jasmine is on one side of me with her head on my shoulder and on the other I have Krystal. On my lap I have my tiny niece and she is keeping me warm, so warm that I take off my flannel shirt and cover her against the mosquito’s that are gathering and trying to turn us into dinner.
Soon it is time to head back to the tents and get some sleep, so with a yawn I ha
nd Jasmine back her sleeping daughter and push myself to my feet. I am keen to get my RM Williams boots off and give my sore feet a rest and some air. I walk slowly back to the tent and then just as I get there decide to check on Gavin as I had not seen him around the fire. His tent flap is still open as I approach and the pot on the primus is coming to the boil.
“I hope you have enough water for two coffees in there mate.” I call out as I get closer.
“I do, I was going to come and look for you shortly and offer you a cup, but you saved me a walk.” Gavin grins up me from his perch on a log just inside the tent.
“I’ve got bad news for you though.” I tell him. “I’m about to take these boots off and give my feet a break. I am not sure how good they are going to smell though.” I finish on a laugh.
“It’s okay; we can sit outside for a while if you are going to do that.” Gavin laughs too as he watches me drop to the ground and start to pull my boots off.
“Here you go Jenn, watch it, it’s hot.” Gavin says as he passes me a steaming mug of coffee.
We sit quietly outside the tent and sip our coffee, watching the stars wheel overhead and enjoying the silent company. There are times when words are not necessary and this was one. We watch the stragglers head back to their tents and hear the settling noises of the camp. Looking towards the centre we look at the red glowing eyes of the fires that have been banked down for the night. The quiet of the outback is descending and the silence of the night envelops the camp.
“I’d better head off to bed mate; it’s been a long day and fairly emotional.” I say to Gavin as I struggle to my feet to take the short walk home. I hand him the coffee mug and smile. “Thanks for the cuppa and the company.”
“You’re welcome Jenn, don’t forget your boots though, you’ll be looking for them in the morning for sure.” Gavin stands and passes the boots across the small space between us before leaning over and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Don’t forget to rest up tomorrow and relax, we have a long week ahead of us and you need to be fresh.”
“I’ll rest up mate. I know the hard part is coming up and I will need all the rest I can get.” I say. “Goodnight mate, sleep well.”
“Night Jenn, see you tomorrow.”
Sleep comes quickly again as exhaustion overcomes me and I am woken as the sun rises above the trees and releases its heat upon the world. The camp is already stirring and I can hear the sounds of voices and the rattle of the cooking pots as breakfast is readied by the cooks.
I wander down to the fires after I dress and pull my boots on to my tired feet and vow that I will run barefoot for a month once we get to the end of this journey. Coffee and a bread roll covered in thickly in apple and strawberry jam makes a great start to the day and I walk around saying hello to people and having a quick chat about their concerns and I try to set their minds at rest. Many of the questions are about the area we are heading to and what to expect. I can only tell them what it was like the last time I was home in Gordon. I am unsure as to the changes, if any, that the quakes have caused and the possibility of tsunami doesn’t bear thinking about, so I don’t mention it at all. I am hoping that my childhood home and my parents are safe upon the hill that looks over the ocean and that I do have a home to go back too.
The day passes swiftly and I decide to head to bed early before the next day’s travel and head off to my tent just after dinner. I sleep deeply and wake refreshed and ready for anything just before the sunrise the next morning. Camp is soon packed up and the convoy hits the road at 8.30 am to get as much travel in as the day will allow. Plans are made for the scouting crew to look for a good campsite from 2pm and with the final instructions the convoy forms up and we move out towards Gunnedah.
The 25 miles to Gunnedah passes swiftly and we navigate the route through town that Steve has asked us to use. It has been cleared, but the corners are sharp when we come to turn into Bloomfield Street at the park and it presents some problems for the fuel tanker and the semi-trailers. It takes them a little longer to get around, but once around we turn right onto the Oxley Highway and head east and towards the coast.
The wider road gives much less problems when travelling and we pick up speed and soon Gunnedah is a blur behind us and the horizon beckons. The day passes swiftly and soon it is time to set up camp and the scouts have found another good spot. There is plenty of room to pull off the road for everyone, good water and plenty of trees for fire wood. There is a petrol station at the end of the paddock and the fuel tanker heads down with Gavin on board to investigate. The place has been abandoned and Charlie and Gavin pump fuel from the underground tanks into our tanker and top up the fuel supplies. The shop is partially demolished and when Sandy and I walk over we can see that this has been a general store for the surrounding area and there are still supplies on the shelves. We grab what we can carry and head back to the camp carrying armfuls of goodies. Shortly after we return with boxes and a vehicle and pack away what we can and take it all back to camp. There is more flour, sugar and salt, spices, jams and oils for cooking. Luxury items such as shampoo, soap and laundry soap are top of the list as supplies brought from Smithtown are fast running out.
The group crowds around to see the treasure that we have found and a decision is made to share things out after the evening meal. The food is sent straight to the cooks and the luxury goods are placed in Gavin’s tent so that they can be shared. The treasure that Gavin has quietly taken with him is five large boxes of sweets for the children. These too will be shared after dinner and I for one cannot wait to see the happy faces of the children.
Dinner is soon cooked and eaten, clean-up is done fast tonight and everyone is soon sitting around the fires waiting to see what treasures are coming their way. First we distribute the soaps and there are
gasps of surprise and pleasure as people realize that they will be able to feel really clean for a while longer. The shampoo is a great hit with the ladies and each family is given a large bottle and the single people get smaller ones. The same thing happens with hair conditioner. There are bottles of baby wash and baby shampoo given to those that have very young children and to the frail elderly along with baby talcum powder. There is a special gift for the babies of new bottles and formula and for James there are a couple of new soft blankets and a new pillow. Then on to the big surprise, Gavin and Thomas step forward with boxes, while Sandy, Steven and Kyle are standing behind. The children are called up one by one to receive a packet of sweets, the elderly are given chocolate and there are packets of chips for those who like them too. Gavin has also brought nuts and dried fruits and these are given to the cooks for later use. A cheer goes up from everyone as the children grin from sticky mouths and their fingers leave marks around the campsite. There are a lot of little faces and hands that are going to require a wash tonight before bed. The smiles of the children are reward enough for Gavin and his big smile grows wider as he surveys the children contentedly eating their treats.
“Okay folks, we did not steal this as I left what money I had left under the till on the counter. No one needs to feel guilt about this bounty. I doubt that money will be much use though for a long time to
come. I feel better for having done the right thing though and while I can we will always leave money behind.” Gavin lets the crowd know that we have not stolen the groceries and a round of applause is soon heard around the paddock.
Raymond stands as the hand clapping and cheers subside. “How about those of us still carrying money give it to Gavin in case we come across a chance to buy things again?” He asks.
Heads are nodding and Raymond passes a couple of boxes to Sandy and Kyle and the boys head off round the campers to pick up what money there is and hand it over to Gavin. When the boys return Gavin asks Rhys and I to come with him to his tent to count the money and to make sure that we make notes on everything in a book. We will try to pay for things as we go, even if the owners are not there. We will also leave a note to say who we are and where we are going in case there are others following behind. We also agree to leave supplies for others as we will restock as often as possible as we travel. This settled the boxes are locked in the Police truck and we return to the fire and tell the others in the group of our plans. These are met with approval and the night continues with a sing-along and it is soon time for us to head off to bed to rest for the next day’s travel.
It is becoming a nightly ritual to have a coffee with Gavin before I head off to sleep and tonight has one difference. Rhys joins us once Caren is settled and we sit and talk quietly as the camp settles down.
Rhys opens the conversation with a question that I have been mulling over for the last few days. “What are we going to do for transport once the fuel runs out?” he asks.
“Not even thought that far ahead yet.” Gavin says. “I have been more concerned with getting everyone safe to the coast to think about other things.”
“Now you guys should learn to trust a woman with this one.” I pipe up quickly. “That one has been running through my head and I think I have an answer.”
“Good for you Jenn, go ahead and tell us please.” Rhys says with a grin.
“We are going to have to go back into history and use horses for transport and make the trailers into carts too. I know where there are horse studs close to Gordon and Raymond is capable of making over the trailers for us. It will take time to train the horses, but that is something I can do and if my Dad is still alive he is great with horses.” I end with a sad note in my voice as I am unsure if my parents are still alive and that is a worry that I have not shared until now.
“I knew I picked you for good reason, Jenn, and you have just proved how good that reason was. There is no one in the group that forward plans like you do.” Gavin says and reaching out squeezes my shoulder to comfort me. “I am hopeful of finding your parents alive, I am hopeful of finding many more survivors on the coast and being able to get the help we need.” He finishes.
“I didn’t know your parents were still alive Jenn, I am so sorry you have been carrying this all on your own. I just hope things are not as bad on the coast as they are out here.” Rhys speaks with concern. “Why didn’t you tell us you were worried?” He asks.
“Not much point in adding to the worries we already have.” I state. “We have a job to do first and then we can worry later. I did not want to mention it around Jasmine either, she may not cope too well and I don’t want to panic her unnecessarily.”
“Hey, we are your friends and you need support for your worries.” Gavin’s voice is a gentle rumble. “You share everyone’s problems and hide your own, not a good idea girl, you are going to burn yourself out eventually.”
“I know that Gav, but I will get this job done first. Once we are at the coast the worry may prove to be a waste of time, and if not I
am half prepared now to find the worst. I will cope no matter what, so don’t worry too much about me.” I finish with a smile and a subconscious push at the sad thoughts that the idea of the loss of my parents brings.
“Time we got some sleep, you two need your rest and so do I.” Gavin stands quietly and extends his hand to pull me to my feet. He puts both arms around me and hugs me tight
. Letting go he shakes Rhys by the hand and we all wish each other goodnight.
Rhys walks beside me as we head the few steps back to our own tents and with a quick hug we part to sleep and rest. One more week of travel should see us through the hills and at the lookout where we can see the coast.
Then we have a possible two days travel to the coast and we can settle at last.
After shocks still rumble with regularity through the ground and although they are slowing again it worries me that there are more quakes to come and as I settle down to sleep I wonder how much longer the earth can sustain these constant shakes without breaking into fragments and the pieces slowly spinning off into space. I decide not to worry too much and to keep moving forward towards the coast and keep planning for a future.
The morning dawns bright, the brilliant, harsh sunlight of the outback starts to sear down and the early heat bounces off the hardened ground. The horizon is low and as I look towards it dark black clouds hang there with the promise of rain. Lightning flickers at their bases and it looks as if it is going to be a wet day’s travel today. It will slow us down, but not stop this convoy.
Breakfast is a hurried affair of cereals and powdered milk. The tents are struck and packed away before the rain arrives and people are loaded into the vehicles as
fast as possible. The dry wood, already gathered, is piled into any available spaces as we will need it for fires tonight and do not know if we will find dry wood at our camping spot.
The scouts set off on the motorbikes and the days travel has begun
and within half a mile the rain starts to pound down in sheets and the storm drives overhead with a relentless tattoo of lightning and thunder. The vehicles string out in a long line behind the Fire Truck as we rumble along the broad highway. We are making better time today and the road is much easier to navigate. Far fewer blockages from fallen trees, but there are diversions we have to take where the road has cracked and fallen away into deep crevasses. This slows us little though and we are soon at the point where it is time to look for a campsite for the day. 50 miles have soon passed our best day’s travel so far.
The scouts report in and have found a site, but it is still raining and the creek close to the camp is swollen and fast running. We will have to take precautions to make sure we are far enough from the creek and the heavier vehicles will have to stay on the road to ensure that they don’t get bogged down.
Camp is set up in the rain and extra tarpaulins are rigged over tents and over fire pits to keep the worst of the weather off.
I am glad of the waterproof jacket I have in the truck and have managed to pitch the tent and stay almost dry. The dogs are not happy about the rain and all wish to cower in the cab of the truck. I can’t say that I blame them either, but they need exercise, so with a whistle I call them and we set off to investigate our surroundings. They forgive me quickly for getting them wet and are soon bounding around and sniffing under trees and logs to see what they can find. There are rabbit burrows everywhere and soon they are chasing rabbits and puppy is digging out a burrow with gusto. Even in the rain I can smile at their antics.
Dinner is a hurried affair as we stand under the tarpaulin shelters over the fires and coughing from the trapped smoke eat our meals, clean up and pack away the dishes and retire to our tents. I head for my tent and lay down on the unrolled sleeping bag with a still damp puppy curled up beside me. It is not long before I hear the slight sloshing of footsteps in the mud and a shadow falls over the tent flap.
“Hey Jenn, are you in there?” Jasmine’s voice comes through the thin material.
“Yes Sis, I am here, come on in.” I say quietly.
Jasmine looks tired and her shoulders are drooping as she enters the tent. I stand and hug my tiny little sister. She looks as if the weight of the world is on her shoulders. I guess in a lot of ways it is. I don’t have children and cannot imagine the worry that parents go through when times are normal,
but with the way things are now it must be so much worse. Having tiny dependant human beings to get safely through this situation is enough to wear down the strongest of people. Jasmine has never been strong and now I can see that the situation is getting on top of her.
Jasmine and I talk quietly about her worries for a while and then she brings up the one question that I have been dreading from her. She wants to know if I think our parents have survived. I just don’t know how to answer this one and am stumped and sit for a little while and think through the answers I could give. I could tell her that everything will be okay; I could tell her that I don’t know, I could even tell her that it is possible that they are both dead. All of these answers will bring tears, and more upset for her. I am not sure how to answer her at all. I go for the line of hope that creeps through my head.
“I don’t know Jazzie, but we will find out in the next few days.” I take a deep breath and don’t look at her as I speak the next words. “We just have to hope that they have survived, the house is high up on the hill overlooking the coast and with them both being early risers they would have been up and able to get out of the house when the first quake struck. Dad would have known what to do to be safe and Mum would have followed Dad so they are probably okay. I can’t promise though and we just have to be patient and wait and see.”
I look at Jasmine after I finish speaking and although there are tears she also has a slight smile as she remembers that Dad is a tough man and would get Mum out of any situation if it was at all possible.
“I knew coming to talk to you would be the best answer.” Jasmine says on a sniff as she mops the tears from her face and puts the grubby rag she is using for a handkerchief away in the pocket of her frayed jeans.
“We will be okay no matter what honey, we have each other and you have your lovely husband and children and we are still a family. We are so much luckier than some families and we have to keep positive. Now head on back to your tent and get some sleep, we have a long way to travel yet and you need your rest.” I say the big sister tone clear in my voice. “I love you bub and we are going to be okay.” As I finish I pull her into a hug and feel the warm tears star
t to wet my flannel shirt, she is crying again.
We mop up her tears and I gently hug her goodnight and usher her out of the tent before the tears can start again. Jasmine is inclined to become very emotional and tears are a release for her, but they can be exhausting.
I sit on the sleeping bag and hang my head down between my hands for a little while after Jasmine leaves and just let my mind wander through our childhood and recall happy memories of when we were young. It revives me and I feel much better and am ready to face the world again. Just as well as I can hear more footsteps in the mud and it is not long before another figure is at the tent flap.
I smell coffee and know without even looking that it is Gavin and he has arrived just at the right time.
“Come on in Gav, I know it’s you I can smell the coffee and you are a life saver mate.” I call out. Gavin enters the tent and hands me a cup of coffee and sits down beside me on the sleeping bag.
“I just saw Jasmine leave and she looked like she had been crying, is everything okay?” He asks as he folds his huge frame down to the floor.
“Yes, it’s okay; she is just having a bit of a tough time and needed her big sister for comfort. Yes there were tears Gav, but they were Jasmine’s way of letting go of the tension. It’s exhausting though when she pulls this on me. I never know which way to react with her.” I say quietly.
A big arm snakes around my back and Gavin pulls me tight against his chest. “It’s another load on you mate, and I’m here if you need to off load a bit of the stress.” He speaks quietly and gently and I feel tears forming in my own eyes, tears of gratitude for this wonderful friend who is always there to support me when times are rough.
I look up and with a shaky smile thank him for his support and hug him back. We sit quietly for a while and just sip slowly on our cooling coffee. Contented in each other’s company and content to let the world continue on without us for a short time, while we regroup and gather strength for the next stage of the journey.
The coffee is drunk and it is time for sleep, Gavin stands and hauls me to my feet yet again. This is getting to be a habit with him and one that always gets him a hug. I smile to myself and think that he has an ulterior motive for the help and one that I like.
Gavin is a good looking man and his bulky 6 feet 5 inches of height, short black hair, just touched with a little grey, and sparkling blue eyes hidden behind the ever present glasses make all the girls look twice. I can’t believe that he is singling me out for attention and am putting it down to friendship and the shared worries of getting our convoy to the coast. The laugh lines around Gavin’s deeply tanned face deepen as he smiles down at me and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Get some sleep Jenn, you look worn out and I need you fresh and ready to go again tomorrow.” He rumbles as he drops his arms and turns towards the tent flap.
“Sleep well Gav, you need it too.” I say as he steps outside to trudge the few steps through the mud to his own tent.
At last I settle for the night and puppy draws closer for warmth as the cool of the outback night settles and we drift off to sleep. Puppy to dream her doggy dreams while my dreams are of the death and devastation of the last few weeks.
My sleep is broken as I wake often from the dreams and sit
bolt upright, dry eyed and shaken only to lie down again and drift back into that nightmare land we have inhabited for the last few weeks. The eyes of the dead we have left unburied haunt me and pull me from sleep yet again. It is with gladness I see the first rays of the sun rise and I haul myself up and out of the tent. I am soon packed up and grateful for the break in the rain. I pack up the damp tent and scurry off to the fires for breakfast and coffee. With luck we will only have two more days travel to make then we will be at the lookout and able to see the coast.