Our Heart (21 page)

I knew what my grandma was really asking, and I stood rooted in my spot with my head lowered, I didn’t want her to see the feelings written all over my face. I didn’t think she would understand it was about more than just taking Allison to see the tree. It was also dealing with all the empty feelings being tossed around inside of me. I missed my mother today and my father too. Just when I thought my grandma couldn’t be in tune to my feelings she surprised me.

“Your mom would be proud of the young man you have turned into,” she said, in a very tender way as I stood there. “I know I’m proud of you!”

I could hardly breathe and it felt like Grandma was staring right through me. I slowly raised my face to her and noticed the
deep caring in
her
eyes
. I said nothing, didn’t know what to say. I went over to her and gave her one of the biggest hugs ever. We hugged each other until each of us felt safe enough with our emotions. When we separated, she asked whether I wanted to fry the chicken or cut up the vegetables for the relish tray.

The rest of the afternoon with Grandma would be one of those little moments in my life that I would file away in the memory place of my heart and mind. At some point in life, you begin to realize your parents, or in my case grandparents, are more than just the responsible adults they have to be. They are people too and you start to see them through adult eyes with a more mature understanding. Old perceptions start to fade, and relationships expand in new ways. Today, my grandma, who would always be Grandma to me, had become so much more. She had become a valuable friend as well.

It was hard not to eat the chicken as Grandma Sarah finished cooking it. She even had to swat Grandpa Jake’s hand when he was drawn into the kitchen by the enticing smells. It was even worse for him when he caught wind of the fresh-baked cherry pie. Grandma had gotten out the old wooden picnic basket and filled it with all the necessary items, including plates, glasses, silverware, napkins, and anything else I would need and probably would have forgotten had I been the one to do the packing. I also had a thermal cooler to keep the lemonade cold. Grandpa asked if I needed any help carrying things. I told him I had it all under control. His look was priceless, and I wished I had a camera to immortalize his face forever, with a picture. He had the kind of smile, much like Da Vinci’s, “Mona Lisa,”
leaving you wondering what he was really thinking.

We finished up in the kitchen, and I helped Grandma clean everything up. I told her I would be going over to pick up Allison around five o’clock. The two of us were going downtown to Bill’s for super and then over to Matt’s house to watch a movie with him and Dani. I headed upstairs to shower, but before I left the kitchen, I spun around to face Grandma Sarah.

This time, I was the one who caught her by surprise when I said, “I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, not just for tomorrow, but everything! Thank you, Grandma.” I shot down the hall, and up the stairs, before I could see the reaction on her face.

Saturday night went painfully slow, and it was all I could do not to let my emotions get the better of me. We ate burgers and fries at Bill’s and then walked around town. We sat for awhile along the river and watched the geese scavenge around for scraps, along the bank. The Canadian Geese packed the city park, near the river. There was always a steady stream of people tossing the geese leftover bread crusts. Allison even brought the extra table roll, which had been part of our dinner at Bill’s, to share with the geese. What was one person’s entertainment could be another person’s nuisance. The geese would entertain passersby for hours and, at the same time, make the park unsuitable to walk barefoot in. Allison sat snuggled into my side on the park bench, and I draped my arm around her shoulders. We sat that way in silence for quite awhile before either of us spoke. Finally, Allison broke the silence by asking me what the plans for tomorrow were. I tried not to jump out of my skin, and my heart skipped a couple of beats. She could tell and lifted her head off my shoulder, scooting sideways so she could face me.

Regaining my self-control, I gave her my best smile and told her I would pick her up at noon. She furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes as she stared into mine. Satisfied for the moment I wasn’t planning on reneging, she wanted to know what movie we were going to see. I suggested the new Harrison Ford movie, “Six Days and Seven Nights.” Allison told me she had heard it was pretty good from Callie. She smiled, as she reminded me that she wanted to do some shopping too! I rolled my eyes and told her I would make sure to have my comfortable shoes on. We laughed and I put my arm around her again. She kissed my cheek as she laid her head back on my shoulder. It was unbelievable, the emotions she stirred by just sitting next to me. We talked about anything and everything so naturally that it was easy to lose track of time. In a panic, I glanced at my watch and saw it was already after eight-thirty. I had told Matt we would be there around eight.

Allison and I held hands, tickling each other and laughing all the way to Matt’s house. He and Dani were sitting on the porch swing, arms around each other. One look at them and I knew we hadn’t been missed at all. The night was pretty mild, until Dani and Allison started talking about their plans for the next day. When Allison told her our plans, we were going to the movie and planning on shopping, Dani commented on all the things she’d really like to have, but didn’t necessarily need. Before I knew it, the two of them had turned mine and Allison’s day at the mall into a double date. Even Matt was warm to the idea. It was all I could do to keep my face from contorting with the waves of panic running through my body. I just kept smiling and then smiled some more.

The girls got up and went to the bathroom together. I took the opportunity to let Matt in on my true plans. He didn’t have to say a word; it was written all over his face and I hoped to God he would lose the silly-ass smile before the girls came back.

Trying to be as cool as he could he said, “No problem Bro…I’ll make sure that I keep my girl’s mind off the mall tomorrow. Hell, I just might bring her up to the tree and join you for the picnic!” I smacked him extra hard on his bicep and he flinched. “Damn, I was just kidding,” he whined.

“Me too,” I responded, and then we both smiled. The girls came back into the room giving the two of us the once over. They looked at each other and then both of them tumbled into our laps and kissed the silly grins off both our faces. For me, the rest of the night went way too fast. I needed to get Allison home long before I was ready to end my night with her. We walked silently towards our houses, and when we reached her house, I could see her mom and dad were still up. I could make out their silhouettes, sitting in the living room, through the front window. Allison wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me one last memorable kiss, before climbing the steps to the front porch.

As she headed inside she called out to me, “See you tomorrow…at noon!”

Chapter 13

Sunday dawned bright and sunny and, for once, it looked like the weatherman had gotten it right…for now. Living in Iowa you had to be able to adjust to the weather. It could change on a dime, but even so, I let all thoughts of rain disappear from my head. I was up early and got myself cleaned up. The three of us headed to church for the eight o’clock service. I made sure to offer a few extra thanks during the prayers and tried my best to stay focused during the pastor’s sermon. Usually, after the service, we’d join everyone for coffee and donuts. Today, I left Grandma Sarah and Grandpa Jake there by themselves as I bolted through the front door as soon as the service ended. It was pushing ten o’clock when I got home, and I began having that nervous feeling that time was running out on me. I raced upstairs and changed clothes, knowing I’d be putting on different clothes again in a matter of hours. I took the steps two at a time, hustling downstairs and into the kitchen.

I put the cooler into an old army pack and then loaded the inside with ice from the big chest freezer, which my grandparents kept in the garage. I put the food on top of the ice so it wouldn’t get soggy when it started to melt. I added the large quilt Grandma had set out for me to take on top of the cooler and tightened the straps. I ran down my mental checklist, satisfied that I had everything; I shouldered up the pack and grabbed the picnic basket. On my way out the back door, with my free hand, I picked up the two Tiki torches I had dug out from the clutter of the garage the day before. I planned on making sure that not even a stray mosquito could ruin the day.

I used extra precaution when I crossed the creek. Even if I did slip, all I’d end up with was a wet foot.
The water was down, but I didn’t want to risk the slightest chance of losing my balance and getting anything wet or jostled around. I started humming, “Time after Time,” as I made my way up the path and though the trees. The sun was already beginning to bake the air outside. I felt the oncoming heat of the day, as soon as I broke from the timber into the clearing. Making my way through the grass and to the top of the hill, the field came to life. Grasshoppers danced in front of me, and several butterflies hovered over the endless colors of wild flowers, painting the meadow. I scanned the top-most branches of the oak tree to see if there was any wind present. I was joyfully rewarded as they swayed and danced in a cooling breeze.

I set the backpack and picnic basket down on the backside of the tree, so it would be out of sight from someone coming up the hill. I gave consideration to laying the blanket out ahead of time and thought better of it. It was important to me for the meadow and the old oak tree to make the first impression on Allison. I’d pull out the picnic basket after she had ample time to discover the wonder of the place. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, as I pictured the expression on Allison’s face. She would be the first girl I had shared the meadow with. For me to bring her here, to see the tree with all its history, was a big step in our relationship. It was a special day, and the significance was not lost on me.

I had only known Allison a short time, but it seemed like we’d known each other much longer. I had already begun thinking of us in future terms and not just in the here and now. It was a tremendous feeling that caused both excitement and apprehension. The dreams of being a football star were being replaced by the desire to spend all of my time with Allison. I wondered if I was really ready to be this committed, and so soon. Yet, all it took was one look at the hearts on the tree and I had my answer.

I walked part way down the hill and stopped. I turned around to look up at the tree. I wanted to make sure I couldn’t see any signs of the backpack or picnic basket. Satisfied, I continued on down the hill, through the timber, and back to the house. As I snuck along the path into our backyard I thought about last night. I hoped Matt had stayed true to his word and found a way to divert Dani’s attention away from Allison and a trip to the mall.

I made it back to the house a shade after eleven-thirty. It didn’t give me much time to waste, which at this point I was really glad of. Grandma Sarah was in the kitchen when I came in the back door. She smiled and I smiled back. I told her I needed to bust my rump in order to pick Allison up on time. I still had to get ready, and Grandma just laughed at me as I darted through the kitchen, on the way to my room. Earlier, I had laid out what I wanted to wear, nice Khaki shorts and a light green and yellow striped polo shirt. I put on my Nike’s and went into the bathroom to wash my hands, comb my hair, and add a dab of my special cologne. I stared in the mirror at my reflection and practiced the little speech I’d prepared to give to Allison, as to why we weren’t going to the mall. “Cheesy,” was the word that came to mind, and I shook my head at the reflection in the mirror, who wholeheartedly agreed with the assessment of my alibi.

My insides were beginning to churn, and I could really feel the nerves fighting for control of my body. I took several deep breaths and focused my thoughts on an image of my mother. I let my eyes close and the figure of my mom sharpened. I concentrated and remembered the sound of her voice and the way she used to talk to me. She would tell me to just breathe, because I was the one who had the ultimate power to control myself. It isn’t the fears or doubts that cause anxiety, but our lack of conviction or self-confidence. Believe in yourself and you have nothing to fear. I began to feel the jitters leave, and I knew I was ready. I opened my eyes and took a last look at my reflection in the mirror. This time, the young man staring back looked like he was in total control of his emotions.

It was fast approaching noon, and I couldn’t wait to see Allison. I ran down the stairs, and Grandpa Jake was standing by the front door. He scrunched his eyes and gave me a thorough inspection. Looking me up and down, he passed me on with a nod, smiling as he stepped to the side. He never said a word, but all that I needed to know was evident on his face.

Grandma Sarah was walking out of the kitchen as I made my way past Grandpa. “Love you, Jason,” was all she said, but it carried through me giving my heart an extra boost as I slipped through the front door and down the steps of the porch.

I didn’t even have to knock on Allison’s front door or ring the bell; she was standing on their porch waiting for me. My heart skipped more than one beat, as my eyes fell on her. In jean shorts and a light blue sleeveless top, she was breathtaking. She read the appraising look on my face and glowed as she smiled down at me.

I said, “Wow!” and then mumbled something else in a foreign dialect. She delicately tilted her head to the side to add punctuation to her look. Coming down the steps, she paused just long enough on each one to give me the full, royal treatment.