Authors: Cat Johnson
This
was crazy. Damn it, he couldn’t love her, but he did. Why was
he fighting his feelings? Maybe one person just fell in love with
another person and it didn’t matter what sex they were. Maybe
love was enough and differences didn’t matter. Antonio was
right. He was afraid of giving up control. But right now, he was more
afraid of living his entire life without love.
What
if Amy was the one? Against all odds it sure felt like she was. He
owed it to both of them to give them a chance.
His
heart pounded. After the way he acted, she probably wouldn’t
even talk to him. But letting her go without a fight was
unacceptable. He had to at least try.
He
grabbed the jacket he had just taken off, opened the door to the hall
and nearly ran into Maria.
“
Hey.
Here’s my adorable neighbor.” She reached up and gave him
a hug and a peck on the cheek. “So, I hear you met my friend
Amy. Tell me quick before Elena parks the car and finds me playing
matchmaker, do you like her?”
“
Yeah,
I do.” Maria had no idea how much. Then what she’d said
sunk in. “What do you mean, playing matchmaker?”
Maria
laughed. “I was going to fix you and Amy up, but Elena wouldn’t
let me.”
Troy
grabbed Maria by the arm. “Maria, I have to ask you something
and please don’t get offended, but…is Amy a lesbian? Or
maybe bi-sexual?”
Maria
burst out laughing. “Amy? Are you crazy? No, not unless
something has drastically changed since I left. Why would you think
that?”
Troy
cringed. “Um, well she said her last relationship was with
someone named Whitney. I just assumed…”
Maria
shook her head. “Whitney was an idiot, but I can assure you, he
was all man. Although she did mention he was a bit tiny.” She
held up two fingers close together for emphasis.
Troy
shook his head at himself. He was the idiot. “Maria. I have to
go. But welcome home and thanks.”
He
flew down the stairs because he didn’t want to wait for the
elevator and sprinted to his car. He narrowly avoided hitting a cab
and a few pedestrians on his way to Amy’s office. If he lost
her because of his stupidity he didn’t know what he would do.
All the way up to her office he prayed she would agree to see him
When
the elevator doors finally opened, he was relieved to find Henri at
his desk. Maybe he could get a feel from Henri about how mad Amy was.
Henri
glowered at him and held up one hand. “Don’t even bother.
She’s not here and I don’t think I would let you see her
even if she was.”
“
Where
is she?” Troy asked.
“
Home.
She left early yesterday and called in sick today. I’ll have
you know, this is the first day she’s called in sick since I’ve
known her. The woman even came to work with walking pneumonia once
and we had to practically tie her up and drag her home, but she’s
never stayed home willingly, that is until you.”
“
Henri,
I need her home address.” Troy felt worse than he could have
imagined.
“
I
don’t know if I want to give it to you. What are you going to
say to her?” Henri stood, hands on his hips and waited, clearly
expecting an answer.
Troy
guessed that after what he’d done to Henri’s friend, he
probably deserved an answer. “I’m going to tell her the
truth, that I’ve never felt about another woman the way I feel
about her. It scared me.”
Henri’s
face crumpled and he wiped at his eyes.
“
Now
you’ve gone and made me cry, you big jerk.” He leaned
over his desk and scribbled an address on a piece of paper, then
handed it to Troy. “You get over there and beg her forgiveness
and if you ever hurt my friend again, I’ll forget how pretty
you are and pummel you myself.”
“
Don’t
worry.” Troy smiled. He held up the address. “Thanks.”
~
On
the couch in her tiny apartment, Amy wiped her eyes one more time,
blew her nose and threw the crumpled tissue in the general direction
of the wastebasket where many more small white wads littered the
floor.
She
hugged the throw to her and watched Carrie say goodbye to her one and
only love Mr. Big one more time before he would marry another woman
on her favorite show
Sex
and the City
. The good thing
about owning the entire series on DVD was that at times like this,
she could pick through and watch just the episodes where the men were
jerks to the women on the show. It somehow made her feel less alone.
She
pushed aside her teacup and was just reaching for another tissue when
the sound of her doorbell ringing made her jump. Glancing down at her
pajamas she decided to ignore it. Whoever it was would go away and
she didn’t need to face some Girl Scout selling cookies at the
moment. Besides, it was a weekday and she was supposed to be at work
so no one should be expecting her to be home anyway.
The
bell ringing was followed by pounding and then Troy’s voice.
“Amy. I know you’re in there. I can hear the television.”
Her
heart stopped. She had hoped for the last twenty-four hours that Troy
would call and now he was here at her apartment door…and she
looked the absolute worst she had ever looked in her life. What the
hell had taken him so long?
She
scrambled off the couch, opened the door a crack and hid behind it.
“You can’t come in.”
“
Please,
Amy. I have to talk to you.” It was so good to hear his voice,
she nearly caved and let him in. When she hesitated, Troy gently
pushed the door open and peeked around the corner.
She
hid her face behind her hands. “Go away. I look terrible and
I’m mad at you.”
“
Oh,
baby. You’re the most wonderful thing I’ve seen in a long
time.” He gathered her in his arms and pulled her close. “And
you have every right to be mad at me. I’m so sorry I did this
to you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He
kissed the top of her head and she buried her face in his chest. “Why
did you?”
“
Because
I was stupid and scared.”
His
deep voice reverberated through his chest and into her. She didn’t
say what she was thinking, that she agreed with him and he was stupid
for dumping her. Instead she asked, “Why were you scared?”
Amy
looked up and saw his eyes mist up. “I was afraid of how I feel
about you. I was, but I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t
want to be without you.”
Pulling
away, she tried to hide the new tears that his words had started.
“Stay here, I need a minute.”
She
excused herself and went to the bathroom, cringing at her reflection
when she saw her red-rimmed swollen eyes. She splashed cold water on
her face but that didn’t do all that much to improve her
appearance.
Amy
leaned against the bathroom sink and took a deep breath, torn between
relief and fear. He was saying all the right things now, but it
didn’t mean he wouldn’t dump on her again. Even Whitney
the jerk had come back looking to sleep with her again after he had
dumped her. She’d actually given in the first time, then she
finally wised up and said no.
Her
gut told her Troy was nothing like Whitney, or any other guy she’d
dated for that matter. Maybe he had run because he was afraid. Maybe
men were just as frightened and insecure as women. It would explain a
lot, like why they pulled away the minute things got too serious. But
it didn’t make up for the fact that he had made love to her
then dumped her in absentia. She was still hurt and angry, but she
had to admit, she was hopeful too.
She
came back into the living room to find him standing by the table
reading the proposal she’d dumped there when she got home
yesterday.
He
held up the first chapter. “Aimee’ Henri. This is you,
isn’t it?”
“
Yes.
How did you know?” She blushed.
“
Well,
as far as the fake name, the code wasn’t so hard to break. But
besides that, it sounds like you. The uncle, he’s Henri, isn’t
he?”
She
nodded, suspecting what was coming next.
“
So
the knight, is he…?” He trailed off.
“
You?
Yup.” She walked over.
“
I
haven’t acted very knightly lately. Amy, there’s
something else I have to tell you. I really hope it doesn’t
make you mad, or madder, but I want us to start fresh with a clean
slate and nothing but honesty.”
Her
heart pounded with dread. Amy nodded and decided to sit down in a
chair for the revelation.
“
I
really did pull away from you yesterday because I was afraid of my
feelings for you. But before that, when I ran away after we had
dinner together—”
“
After
you kissed me after dinner,” she corrected.
“
Yeah.
That was because I…please don’t be mad at me…but
I thought you were a lesbian and you were just kissing me because you
were drunk.”
What
the hell? This was the last thing Amy expected to hear from Troy. She
would have been less surprised if he’d told her he had a wife
and child stashed somewhere. “You thought what? I couldn’t
have thrown myself at you any harder if I tried.”
“
I
know now it was stupid. And I really was interested in you from the
very beginning. I was trying not to be attracted to you because I was
afraid I was going to fall for you and we could never be together.”
Amy
shook her head and let out a bitter laugh.
Troy
continued. “In my defense there was a lot of evidence that made
me think that you might not be so into men.”
“
What
evidence?” She tried not to let her ego be bruised that she had
flirted her butt off with this guy and the whole time he thought she
liked women. Her flirting skills must be severely rusty.
He
listed his supposed evidence for her. When he finished, she hated it,
but she had to agree. “Okay, I get it. When you put it that way
I guess it wasn’t too far of a stretch. But really, my
attacking you on the couch should have been a clue. And you could
have just asked.”
“
I
know. Just add it to my list of things to feel sorry for. But if it
helps any, Antonio thought I was crazy from the beginning.”
“
You
told him you thought I was a lesbian?” Her voice squeaked,
embarrassed that they’d discussed her.
“
He’s
my best friend.” Troy held his hands up helplessly. “You
told Henri we slept together.”
“
I
didn’t tell him. He guessed. And, sadly, Henri’s my best
friend too.”
“
Well
if it makes you feel better, he did threaten to beat me up if I hurt
you again.”
Henri
being able to take Troy in a fight was a ridiculous notion, but his
offer still warmed her heart. “Really? That’s so sweet.”
Troy
laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“
So
even after we slept together, you still thought I was?” She
couldn’t get past this.
“
Yeah
I know I’m stupid. But then today I decided that it didn’t
matter and we would somehow make it work. I was on my way to tell you
that when I ran into Maria, so I asked her if you were.”
“
Maria
too? Troy. Why did you talk to everyone in the world except for me?”
“
I’m
a man?” He shrugged.
She
thought about what he had said before, about being afraid. “So,
did you?”
“
Did
I what?”
“
You
said before you were afraid of falling for me. Did you? Fall for me?”
He
stepped forward and lifted her out of the chair. “Oh, yeah.
Hard.”
She
reached up and touched his face. “Are you sure you’re not
going to get scared and run away from me again? I don’t think I
could take it.”
“
Oh,
baby. You’re not going to be able to get rid of me even if you
try.” He raised her chin with one finger and gently kissed her
mouth. It was soft, chaste and full of promises for the future. “Do
you forgive me?” He spoke so close she felt his breath on her
cheek.
“
Yes,”
she whispered.
The
kiss he gave her next wasn’t quite so chaste. One hand tangled
in her hair and the other one stroked the bare skin beneath her
pajama top. She was glad she hadn’t bothered to change out of
her pajamas, because from the look in his eyes, she didn’t
think she’d be wearing them for much longer anyway.