Operation Eiffel Tower (11 page)

‘Try it again,’ Dad said. ‘Harder this time. Imagine it’s something that’s really annoyed you and smack it one.’

Jack thought. Something annoying. He thought of The Larches being Dad’s new home.

This time, the ball went much further.

‘Good!’ Dad said.

Jack glared at the next ball. He thought of shouting and Ruby crying and slammed doors and silences. This time the ball spat up into the air and landed so hard in the net that Jack could see the dust being shaken from it.

‘Well done!’ Dad said, ruffling the top of Jack’s hair.

‘What do you think about?’ Jack said. His voice sounded odd.

‘What?’ Dad asked.

‘What do you think about when you hit the balls? Do you think of Mum?’

‘Caroline?’ Dad sounded confused. ‘God, no. Of course not. I think about the bank manager, mostly. Or the overdraft. I think about smacking the overdraft into the middle of next week.’

Not Mum then. Did that mean that Dad wasn’t angry with Mum? Did that mean that maybe he still liked her?

‘Dad . . .’ Jack paused as Dad teed up another ball. ‘Dad, do you think you might come home soon?’

Dad looked at Jack, then sighed. ‘I don’t know. That’s the honest truth. I’d like to, for you lot. But your mum and me, we don’t see eye to eye about things any more.’

‘But you want to come back, don’t you?’

‘Well,’ Dad said slowly, ‘I want to come back because I miss you guys. But is that enough? Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but here today, I’ve been trying to remember when me and your mum last made each other truly happy. And I can’t remember. Before Billy was born? Maybe even before Ruby was born. And we’ve just lived with it. Being miserable. That’s no way to be, is it?’

Jack felt numb. ‘But what about us?’ he whispered.

‘I’ll always be your dad. Always. Come on, I’d better get you back. Your mum will be worried.’

‘Yes, she was yesterday, when me and Lauren got back.’

‘Did you get a row?’

‘A bit.’ Jack bent down to collect some of the stray golf balls.

‘Oh, Jack. That’s not good. I know why you want to see me. I want to see you too. And Lauren, and Ruby and Billy. But you can’t go upsetting your mum. It won’t help matters.’

‘Will you come in with me now?’ Jack asked eagerly. ‘Will you explain it? Talk to Mum?’

‘Well, I’m not sure she wants to talk to me yet. I’ll just walk with you to the end of the road. No point rushing things. I’ll call her later.’

Chapter 20

That afternoon Jack was in his room, checking his emails, when the phone rang. Then he heard Mum’s voice down in the hall. ‘Hello?’

There was a pause.

‘Gavin? Is that you?’ Mum said.

Dad!

Jack got up from his chair slowly, so as not to make a noise. He moved to the door.

‘Oh please, Gavin. I can’t do this. Not now. No. No. Of course I won’t stop you seeing the kids, but not till you’re sorted out. I don’t know when. They can’t visit you there. You need to get a proper place, where they can stay. It isn’t a proper place. You’re not listening to me.’

Jack’s fingers gripped the door handle hard; his knuckles turned white.

‘No,’ Mum’s voice was angry now. ‘Don’t. Don’t come over. Gavin! I don’t want to see you. Nor do the kids.’

Jack’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted to shout out to Mum, to tell her it wasn’t true.

‘Gavin. Leave it!’ Mum shouted.

Jack heard the phone slam down. Then breathing – Mum breathing hard in the hallway.

He loosened his grip on the door. Should he go to her? Put his arm round her?

No.

She had told Dad that they didn’t want him.

Jack felt a wave of anger hit him full in the chest. There was no way he was going to hug her, ever. He pushed the door to, hard. He threw himself down on the bed and punched the pillow with his fist, again and again and again. The duvet caught on his legs and twisted tight. He felt as though he was suffocating under the weight of air and feathers. He let himself fall against the pillow one last time. Then he lay still and the tears soaked into his pillowcase.

Chapter 21

Jack didn’t know how long he lay there. He heard Ruby and Billy in the garden below, fighting over the swing. Ruby won. He heard Lauren come in from somewhere and turn her music on loud. It felt like a normal Sunday afternoon, except that his arms were too heavy to lift and the air was thick with feelings.

Then there was a different noise.

A key in the front door. ‘Caro? Caroline?’ Dad was here. In the house.

Jack heard Ruby scream in delight from the back garden.

He sat up in bed, listening.

Ruby was in the hall now, crying and laughing. Billy was with her too, whooping alongside her.

Dad laughed, saying their names over and over.

Jack opened his bedroom door and moved on to the landing. Lauren was there already. They both stood at the top of the stairs watching Ruby and Billy climb all over Dad at the bottom.

Mum came out of the sitting room. She looked pale and frightened.

‘Caro?’ Dad said. ‘You can’t keep them from me. You can’t.’

‘We talked about this.’ Mum’s voice shook. ‘Ruby, Billy, go back to the garden!’

Mum tried to shoo Ruby away from Dad.

Jack realised he was holding his breath. He let it out slowly. He could feel a pulse behind his eyes that made him feel ill.

‘Caro, this is not right!’

Then Jack couldn’t make out the words, it was all yelling and anger and ugly. He sat down heavily on the top step. Lauren sat next to him. It was like looking down a dark well, where bad things twisted below. Ruby was crying now. Billy too. There was a bubble of snot on his upper lip. Mum was between Ruby and Dad; Ruby’s arms clawed for him. Mum had tears on her face.

Ruby struggled against Mum’s arm, trying to wriggle free. ‘Daddy! My daddy!’ she sobbed.

‘Go,’ Mum cried. ‘Go, just go. Please?’

Dad seemed to crumple. He stepped towards the door.

‘No!’ Ruby yelled.

But Dad was already on the path, moving away fast.

‘No!’ Ruby threw herself forward. She slipped past Mum’s arm. She was out the door. Running. She disappeared from Jack’s view. Outside.

‘Ruby!’

Mum’s yell was drowned out by another noise.

The squeal of brakes in the street.

‘Ruby!’

Jack had never heard a noise like the one Mum was making. High, desperate, terrified. A noise like the end of the world.

Mum ran out. Jack was up and running down the stairs, Lauren behind him, scooping up Billy as they passed.

There was a car outside their gate. A driver got out. ‘I didn’t see her,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t see her.’

Jack stopped next to the car.

Ruby lay on the tarmac, small and soft and still. Her leg was twisted underneath her in the wrong shape.

Dad dropped beside her; he said her name over and over.

Jack watched. There was a thought, somewhere far away but getting closer. He knew there was something he should do, but he couldn’t think what it was. It was as though his brain had powered down. He shook his head violently. What should he do?

Ambulance.

The word was like a switch, bringing the world back into focus. His mind leaped into action, his legs too. He ran back inside. To the phone. He picked it up. His fingers fumbled over the buttons, but then he dialled 999.

‘Emergency. Which service, please?’

‘What? Hello, my sister. She’s hurt. She’s been hit by a car.’

‘Ambulance. Putting you through.’

The line changed tone, then another person spoke. ‘Ambulance. State your emergency,’ someone said.

‘My sister. Please come quickly.’

‘What’s happened to her?’

‘She’s been hit by a car.’

‘OK. Where is she?’

Jack gave his address quickly.

‘The ambulance is on its way. Are you with your sister now? Is she breathing?’

‘No. I mean, I don’t know. She’s outside.’

‘Do you have a mobile I can call you back on?’ the voice asked.

‘No.’

‘Is there a grown-up with you?’

‘Mum and Dad.’

‘OK. Here’s what you need to do. Go back outside. Tell them the ambulance is coming. If either of them has a mobile, ask them to call 999 and ask for CPR instruction. That’s CPR instruction. Have you got that?’

‘CPR. Yes.’

‘Good lad.’

Jack hung up and ran back outside. Mum was still making that awful, awful noise that made him feel sick deep inside. Dad was kneeling next to Ruby.

‘Mum, Dad, the ambulance is coming,’ Jack said. ‘They said call 999 and ask for CPR instruction. Is she breathing?’

Dad looked up. His eyes didn’t really seem to see Jack. He didn’t move.

‘Is she breathing?’ Jack shouted.

Just then, he heard the wail of the ambulance. It was close by. He felt his legs go weak underneath him. He sat down heavily on the curb.

The ambulance pulled up beside them, its lights flashing, even as the people in green jumpsuits rushed out.

Jack saw them speaking to Mum, moving her aside. There was a stretcher with a bright red blanket. Dad tried to stand. There was a policeman too. The driver was talking to him.

And Ruby. Lying still and white.

Lauren was beside him, with Billy in her arms. Her face was as drained as Ruby’s.

Then Ruby was in the ambulance, with Mum and Dad next to her.

‘Lauren, look after the others,’ Mum shouted. ‘I’ll call from the hospital.’

Lauren nodded.

The ambulance was gone, blue lights and noise moving further and further away.

Jack watched it go from the curb. He couldn’t move. Lauren tucked one hand under his elbow and yanked him to his feet. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Come on.’

Chapter 22

Inside the house, Lauren took charge.

‘Sit down, Billy; you too, Jack,’ she said pointing to the kitchen table. ‘It’s going to be OK. Everything is going to be OK. I know, I’ll make us hot chocolate.’