Seth squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a shuddering breath as he struggled with this sudden onslaught of emotion. His doctor had warned him this would happen, and he should expect to be blindsided throughout the days and weeks following Mark’s demise. Adjusting to a sudden death was as difficult as learning you had a fatal disease. It took time, and there was no need to rush and obliterate a lifetime of good memories when all Seth wanted to do was remember.
“Hey,” Bryce said softly. “Are you okay?”
Seth turned toward his traveling companion, who apparently was more sensitive than he’d given him credit for. “I was thinking of Mark.”
“I know,” Bryce said. He reached for Seth’s hand and squeezed it gently. “He’d be happy you’re going on this trip.”
“You think so?” Seth asked, trying desperately to hold back the tears. His lip wobbled, and he bit down hard to keep from making a fool of himself.
“He told me time and again how much you were looking forward to seeing the romantic places you write about.”
“I wanted Mark to be with me.”
“He’ll be with you in spirit.”
“Do you honestly believe that, Bryce?”
“Sure I do.”
“You’re such a bullshitter.”
Bryce laughed. “I swear to God. If anyone deserves a loving ghost, you do.”
“I don’t know about the ghost thing. That’s not my genre.”
“Whatever, buddy. We’ll get through this with flying colors and make Marky proud that you carried on like a trouper.”
“Don’t call him Marky,” Seth admonished. “He hated that nickname.”
“How come he never corrected me?”
“He was nicer than me.”
“Definitely less anal,” Bryce pointed out.
“You think he’d really want me to enjoy myself?”
“Absolutely.”
“I feel so guilty.”
“For being alive?” Bryce asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t be stupid. He wanted you to be happy.”
“How do you know?”
“He told me a zillion times.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Now shut up and let me finish my e-mails.”
When they got to O’Hare, they flagged down a porter who piled their four suitcases onto his cart and wheeled them off to Virgin Atlantic. They were touring London for two days before boarding the cruise ship in Southampton, and Seth was looking forward to exploring a city he’d only written about in his novels.
After getting their boarding passes and clearing security, they decided to grab a light snack. Seth had a yogurt, and Bryce had a beer and slice of pizza.
“Do you always eat like that?” Seth asked, looking at the carb overload on Bryce’s plate with distaste.
“Yup.”
“You do know that’ll kill you in a few years.”
“Don’t monitor my diet,” Bryce said after swallowing.
“Just saying.”
“You can think whatever you want but keep your opinions to yourself.”
“Are you still going to eat on the plane?” Seth asked.
“Of course.”
“How could you possibly?”
Bryce glared. “Wilder….”
“Sorry.” Seth sighed and pulled his Kindle out of his coat pocket. This was going to be the longest three weeks of his life, and once again, he wondered how on earth he would survive. Missing Mark would be the least of it. Dealing with Bryce 24/7 was the big challenge.
When they boarded the plane and strapped in, a young man in a red-and-white uniform walked down the aisle with a tray of beverages. Bryce perked up immediately, and Seth paused his reading to stare at the flight attendant. He was cute in a generic boy toy sort of way. Coiffed hair and a sparkling personality oozed sex appeal. Bryce was practically wagging his tail as he chatted him up.
Seth had never been around this type of man before, and he couldn’t decide if this trip would be entertaining or annoying as hell. On the one hand, it would take his mind off Mark for a few hours a day and he’d learn a thing or two about the brave—and sometimes dangerous—new world of Internet dating. Conversely, he’d be living side by side with someone who had little or no control over his libido. Seth wasn’t sure how he was going to handle that part. They’d probably end up hating each other and he’d regret the impulsive decision to ask Bryce along, but it was too late to back out now. All he could do was buckle up and hope he survived the bumpy ride.
AFTER A
good dinner of roast chicken and mashed potatoes, accompanied by two glasses of merlot, Bryce put on his sleeping mask and reclined his seat, hoping to catch a few z’s before landing at Heathrow. The last week had been mentally and physically exhausting, and his body was finally feeling the strain. Seth’s surprising request regarding the cruise he and Mark had planned for the last five years set off a chain of events culminating in Bryce’s decision to put his life on hold for three weeks to help out.
He had no illusions that it would be an enjoyable trip, but he also felt he owed it to Mark to make sure his partner didn’t go off the deep end, literally. Seth had been in a fog of despair since he woke up to the sight of his dead partner. Personally, Bryce thought it was a shitty thing to do to someone you loved, but after reading the suicide note and researching ALS, he was a bit more forgiving. Bryce would never know how many tortured hours Mark had spent contemplating his decision, nor did he ever want to be in that position, but in the end, Mark had decided to bail on his terms rather than wasting what little savings they had on a lost cause.
In retrospect, Bryce should have sensed there was a problem. The normally jovial guy who spent over an hour at the gym at least three times a week had been fading in front of his eyes, and he’d been too caught up in his own shit to even notice. What he did remember were a few questions out of left field that made him scratch his head.
“Do you think Seth is hot?”
Mark had asked.
“Would you date him if he were single? How does Grindr work?”
Bryce had smacked Mark on the ass with a wet towel by the time he was done with the last question. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” he’d asked, looking at his friend with distaste. “I might be a manwhore, but I’d never poach.”
“Just curious, Bryce. Do you honestly think I’d let you get within five feet of my man given your history?”
Now Bryce wondered if Mark had been planting a seed all along. Did he want Bryce to make a move on Seth to make sure the guy got back into the world of the living? Surely not.
Bryce and Seth were as compatible as ice cream and soy sauce, Felix and Oscar, Anderson Cooper and Kirk Cameron… sheesh, he could go on and on. There was no way he’d consider dating the guy, let alone touching him, though he was attractive in an understated way. Seth still had a full head of burnished blond hair and big brown eyes that reminded Bryce of a poodle he’d had as a kid. They were sweet and trusting with long curly lashes, but Seth wasn’t a goddamn dog! He was an opinionated gay man approaching middle age, suddenly adrift after years of being in a committed relationship. Seth’s idea of life as a homo was outdated and unrealistic. The best Bryce could hope for was educating the guy so he’d get a lot more street cred and stop thinking in terms of hearts and flowers.
God… what was he thinking? He didn’t even babysit his sister’s kids, and now he was saddled with a guy who was clueless and would require more attention than Bryce could possibly deliver. Compassion was one thing, but living in close quarters with someone who was used to getting his way, thanks to Mark’s indulging, would be a challenge. He wondered if that occurred to Seth when he begged Bryce to go on the cruise.
Bryce had only had one roommate during his college days. After that, he’d chosen to live by himself rather than putting up with someone else’s idiosyncrasies, because, really, everyone had issues. No matter how easygoing someone might appear, most people had habits that might get on his nerves, and vice versa. He wasn’t a neat freak, but he liked what he liked. Leaving the toothpaste uncapped drove most people bonkers, but he never thought it was a big deal. Drinking milk straight out of the carton was a bad habit he’d formed as a kid, and he’d carried it into adulthood. Walking around his apartment—or doing push-ups—butt naked was a morning ritual. He was proud of his body and enjoyed looking at himself in the full-length mirror in his bedroom to make sure his workouts were effective. The admiring glances thrown his way while he was out and about during the day only served as encouragement. Was Seth expecting Bryce to turn into a prude or even worse, a Mark clone? Not happening.
The last few days had been one adjustment after another so he could leave town for three weeks. It was a long time to be away from his office, especially since he ran his own business, but he had good people to whom he could delegate, and the web made it possible to check in regularly to put out any fires that might crop up. He wasn’t the only contractor in town, and decisions having to do with building and remodeling were usually money-driven. It was his job to come up with the best for his clients and keep the costs down. Sometimes he had to make snap decisions while people dickered for a good price. It was a good thing he loved numbers and could work out an estimate in his head without a calculator, or he’d be in the red. Right now he had two big projects going, and his guys could handle everything, so long as the client stuck to the plan. Unfortunately, people had a tendency to change their minds every two seconds. If that happened, he’d have to do some scrambling to make it work, and that would be a little more difficult to manage long distance. So yeah, he’d already made concessions to come along on the trip, and he wasn’t about to change anything else. If Seth made any attempt to mold Bryce into his idea of acceptable, then the guy could find somewhere else to sleep.
He didn’t wake up until Seth elbowed him, letting him know they were about to land.
“Shit, why didn’t you get me up sooner?”
“I tried a couple of times, but you ignored me,” Seth explained.
“Well, you should have tried harder. Now I don’t even have time for a coffee.”
“Here you go,” Seth said, pushing a cup toward him. “I asked for two just in case.”
“Thank you,” Bryce said gratefully. “I can’t function in the morning without caffeine.”
“That’s one thing we have in common.” Seth perked up a little. “Good to know.”
Bryce didn’t reply to the comment. He finished up the coffee as quickly as possible so he could hand the empty cup to the smokin’ hot flight attendant who looked exactly the same as he did seven hours ago. “How in fuck do they do it?” he mused out loud.
“Do what?” Seth asked.
“Keep their looks after flying in this tin can for hours. Don’t I look like a homeless bum?”
Seth gave him the once-over. “Aside from the scruff, which seems to be all the rage these days, you’re fine.”
“What about my hair?” Bryce asked. “Do I look like a hedgehog?”
“It is sort of spiky.”
“In a good Adam Lambert kind of way or disgusting like George Michael after a night in jail?”
Seth raised his eyebrows. “I never realized how vain you are.”
“How could you when you hardly know me?” Bryce said, combing back his thick hair with his fingers. “Answer my question.”
“Adam,” Seth admitted. “Although you’re a little long in the tooth to be attempting that look.”
“Whatever, dude.”
“Just saying,” Seth said. “If you’re going to emulate a celebrity, you should find someone more age appropriate.”
“Like who?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Hugh Grant perhaps, or Bono? How about Banderas? He’s hot.”
“Fuck you,” Bryce said. “Those guys are older than dirt.”
“No they’re not.”
“They’re over fifty.”
“Which you’re about to be any day now,” Seth reminded him.
“I won’t be fifty for another three years. Why would I try to look older than I am?”
“Because it’s better than pretending you’re a thirty-year-old. There’s nothing more pathetic than someone who’s trying to stay young forever.”
“I’m not switching from Diesel jeans to Dockers to make you happy.”
“Bryce, I couldn’t care less. You asked for my opinion is all.”
“Why don’t you lie next time?”
Seth smirked. “Okay.”
The flight attendant came back one more time and handed Bryce and Seth a warm washcloth. “Be careful, sirs, it’s hot.”
Bryce looked right into the guy’s face and smiled. “It sure is.”
“I meant the washcloth.”
“I didn’t,” Bryce noted.
The guy cleared his throat but kept on smiling. “Are you going to be in London for a while?”
“We’re going on a cruise,” Seth butted in. “My partner and I will only be in London a few days.”
The smile was wiped off the pretty face in a second. “I hope you have a great time, guys.” He took the used washcloths back and walked away.
“Way to cock block,” Bryce accused. “What’s with the ‘partner’ crap?”
“You shouldn’t be flirting with anyone while I’m around,” Seth scolded. “It’s rude.”
“We’re not in a relationship or even fuck buddies.”
“God forbid,” Seth said with an eye roll.
“Then why not let me do my thing?”
“I think it’s embarrassing to flirt with someone half your age.”
“You’d be okay with it if the guy was our age?”
“Not really.”
“Then what the hell, Seth? I won’t have you policing me on this trip.”
“Does that mean you’re planning to fuck your way across the UK?”
“Maybe, but it’s really none of your business if I do or don’t.”
Seth groaned dramatically. “This will be the longest three weeks of my life.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Bryce said. “Let’s just do our thing and not get in each other’s face.”
“We’ll see,” Seth said.
Chicago’s O’Hare might be the Godzilla of airports, but at least it was organized, in Bryce’s opinion. London’s Heathrow was a nightmare. The long line snaking around in dizzying loops to present his passport to a guy who looked like he’d had battery acid for breakfast was a major pain in the ass. Bryce had made the mistake of ignoring his need to pee, thinking he’d slip into a restroom as soon as they cleared customs. He didn’t realize it would be at least forty minutes before that was likely to happen. In the meantime, his bladder was about to burst.