Authors: Jewel E. Ann
I startle and look back at a smug Rachel standing in the doorway.
“Darby—” Tamsen’s voice cuts off as she comes around the corner and sees Rachel.
Rachel doesn’t even acknowledge her.
“Where did you get this?” I look down at the drawing of the naked woman. “Who’s Kathleen Henderson?”
“She’s an old friend who works for an art gallery. She deals with online auctions and when she came across this very disturbing picture she bought it for me.”
“I-I … I don’t understand. Trick drew this.”
“Yes, I know. But he shouldn’t have, and he sure as hell should not have tried to sell it.”
“You know her?”
“I
knew
her.” She laughs and it’s sadistic—vengeful. “Since Cal’s gone, I guess it no longer matters, does it?”
“Darby—” Tamsen speaks with slow caution. I see the lines of nervousness along her forehead.
“Her name was Paula Bailey.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. I haven’t seen her, but the name is familiar.
“You were just starting college, but I’m sure you heard her name in the news. When the wife of the mayor of New York City dies of a drug overdose, it makes national news. I’d have loved to have seen the look on your face when he drew this. He doesn’t even remember her, does he? There’s no way he could; if he did he never would have sold it.”
“Fuck you.” I sneer.
She shakes her head, staring at me with condescending eyes. “I warned you to stay away from him, but not you, Darby. You’ve always been so headstrong, just like your father. Except he didn’t hide behind some ridiculous gothic façade when he fucked everything that moved like you did your first two years of college.
“Let’s go, Darby.” Tamsen’s voice cuts through the air with an urgent undertone.
“Darby’s not going anywhere, not until she knows who she married.”
“Darby, please…” Tamsen shakes her head “…don’t listen to her. Let’s just go.”
I don’t know if I could stand up, let alone walk away right now even if I wanted to.
Rachel licks her Botox lips like she’s getting ready to eat her prey. “You may be stubborn, but you’re smart … curious. Aren’t you?”
My gaze falters. I should walk away. Trick’s past isn’t hers to tell, but I can’t. I need to know.
“Shall I continue?”
My chin drops in shame as I nod.
“I saw Patrick,
Trick,
in Central Park early one morning on my jog. He was sketching some kids playing Frisbee with their dog. A small crowd had gathered to watch him. They were looking at his art; I was looking at him. He had a look to him, this raw sex appeal. So I gave him my business card and told him to call me. A week later he showed up at Hart Designs because he didn’t have a phone to call me … he didn’t have much of anything.”
My eyes fill with unshed tears of pain and anger.
“I offered him a job, modeling my menswear.” Her brow tenses for a moment, maybe in confusion. I can’t tell for sure. “One thing led to another and we ended up having an affair.”
The lump in my throat forces the tears out as my heart shatters into a million painful fragments.
She smirks. “Affair sounds too intimate. It was really just fucking.”
I can’t breathe as nausea and lightheadedness seize my body.
“Darby!” Tamsen brushes past Rachel and kneels beside me, pulling me into her arms. “Shut the hell up! You’ve said enough.”
“Oh, I’m only getting started. I’ll admit, he’s the best fuck I’ve ever had. The kid sure did know his way around a woman’s body.”
A strangled sob escapes as Tamsen hugs me tighter.
“But we got a little reckless. I’d forgotten about my lunch date with Paula. The door to my office wasn’t locked and she walked in on us.” Rachel clears her throat. “But I have to hand it to Paula, she made the most of the situation. I thought we were friends, but then she threatened to expose us. That’s when your knight in shining armor saved the day. He offered to let Paula in on our fun.”
Oh my God!
I pull away from Tamsen and hug my stomach. It’s too much.
“Don’t act so disgusted. I’m sure during those two years you spent dressed in black, whoring around campus to piss off your father, you surely fell into the occasional threesome or orgy.”
I shake my head. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I slept with more guys than I should have, and I
did
do it in a sort of rebellion, but that’s it. They were just one-night stands, nothing sick and twisted.
“I’m sure you know he’s a drug addict. Eventually that’s all Paula craved … drugs, sex, and Trick.” Rachel picks up the drawing and laughs. “I bet he drew the last thing he remembered. Do you know what this is, Darby? Do you know what happened that night, the night he was hit by a car?”
I shake my head. “Stop … no more.”
“She’s not sleeping in this picture … she’s dead.”
“No! Stop it!”
Tamsen helps me to my feet.
“He drugged her, fucked her, and killed her.”
“I hate you!” I lunge for her but Tamsen holds me back.
“Don’t! She’s not worth it.”
Rachel smirks, stepping to the side as Tamsen pulls me toward the door. When we reach the elevator, I lean against the wall and collapse.
“I hate her …” I sob. “I hate him …” I clench and tug at my hair. “I hate this fucking life. Make it stop.”
“Shh …” Tamsen hunches down in front of me. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
“D-did you kn-know?” l lift my head to look into her eyes.
“No, I didn’t.”
I trust Tamsen. I know she wouldn’t lie to me. She’s my friend … my
only
friend.
“C
ocaine?”
I shake my head.
“Alcohol?”
Another head shake.
“Have you fucked anyone but your wife in the past twenty-four hours?”
“No.” Lifting my head from my hands, I watch Grady sit in the chair opposite of me. “How much did you know?”
Grady rubs the back of his neck and sighs. I’ve always known that Grady knew more than he was telling me, but in spite of the fact that he was driving the car that caused my memory loss, in a weird way I’ve felt like he saved me by not telling me everything and getting me the hell out of New York. I trust Grady; he’s protected me. Until last night, I had no idea to the extent that he’s had to go to protect me.
“I knew you were with Mayor Bailey’s wife the night she died. There was a message on your phone from her earlier that evening.”
I nod, rubbing my hands over my face. “She wanted to come over.”
“Yes.”
“Where did you get my phone? We couldn’t find it after the accident.”
“
You
couldn’t find it. I took it from your belongings at the hospital. I was looking for family … clues to what had happened. The morning after the accident all the headlines were about the tragic death of Paula Bailey. Mayor Bailey arrived home late and discovered that his wife had OD’d.”
I stare at my hands. My whole fucking body feels numb.
“Someone moved the body, but I’m quite certain it wasn’t you. However, when I had someone check into your phone records you made a call to a private number about fifteen minutes before you ran into the street. Do you remember who you called?”
I press my fingers to my temples. “The strongest memory I have is just how fucked up my memory was back then from the drugs.” I look up. “Rachel Hart is the only person I would have called.” I shake my head. “I think I called her … I don’t know. I came out of the bathroom and Paula was …”
“Jesus, Trick … it
was
her, Rachel?”
I nod, eyes slipping to my hands as I clench my fists in front of me. “Why didn’t you tell me when I sent you the picture of the drawing?”
Grady sighs. “For the same reason I didn’t tell you years ago. Without your memory you wouldn’t know what to do with the information. What was I supposed to say? ‘Yep, that’s Paula Bailey, the mayor’s wife whom I imagine you snorted cocaine off her tits, then fucked her right before she died of an overdose.’ What were you going to do with that little nugget of information? Tell Darby? Call the mayor and apologize?”
“And I know now?” I yell, not really meaning to lash out at Grady.
“At least now you can own it … make sense of why you did it.” Grady shakes his head. “If you tell Darby, it will destroy her. It will destroy everything you have.”
I grunt. “
If
. You can’t be serious. There is no if. I have to tell her.”
“She’ll leave you and no one would blame her.”
I feel so fucking dead inside, like she’s already left me. “I’d rather lose her to the truth, than keep her because of a lie.”
“I’m sorry.” Grady scrubs his face with his hands. “Maybe I should have told you.”
I shake my head. “No, you were right. It had to be all or nothing.” I laugh, but it’s devoid of humor. “I wish I didn’t know.”
Grady winces. “I knew it had to be quite the scandal, and that things were covered up. It’s how I felt certain that no one would be looking for you, but … I never imagined Rachel Hart. How the hell did a homeless kid from Queens get involved with a married, millionaire fashion designer?”
I laugh through the sympathy I know he’s feeling for me.
“And for the love of God, what are the odds that you end up marrying her stepdaughter?”
I let go of a heavy sigh and proceed to tell him
everything
, starting with the necklace that belonged to Darby’s mom. The one that Rachel used to wear to remind me that her heart belonged to someone else. Impossible, considering the fucking bitch doesn’t have a heart.
T
amsen hands me
another glass of wine and a new box of tissues then sits down on her couch beside me.
“You need to call him.”
“I’ve tried all day.” I sniffle. “He’s not answering, not responding. And I don’t know what I would say. ‘Hope you’re feeling better and oh, by the way, I know you fucked my stepmom and killed her friend?’” I release another sob and more tears.
“I know in my heart, Trick didn’t kill her.” Tamsen rests her hand on my leg.
“How? How can you know that? He was strung out on drugs and he owns a gun!” I sigh. “I’m sorry.” I press a tissue to my swollen eyes. “I’m not trying to take it out on you. I’m just so …”
“Angry?”
“Hurt. I’m dying inside, and I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, but he did. Now what? He doesn’t remember and I either have to tell him, forcing him to deal with actions he can’t remember, or I have to pretend I don’t know.” I suck in a shaky breath. “He’ll know. He’ll see it … feel it. He’ll just …
know
.”
A sad smile pulls at her lips. “I love you, Darby. Because even now when you could be throwing things, screaming at him on the phone, or drawing up divorce papers … your concern is for
him
. No matter what you decide, know that you are
my
friend and always will be … with or without Trick in your life. Okay?”
Tamsen’s words bring on a new round of sobs as we hug. In this moment I feel like she’s physically holding my emotions together … holding all the broken pieces of
me
together. In
this moment
I don’t know if Trick brought me to Tamsen or if she brought me to Trick when she and Grady saved him that night.
*