Only Love (The Atonement Series) (8 page)

“What happened between you and this Mikayla person?” I asked in response to his question.

“Well, for one, we owned a business together so we saw too much of one another. Two, her family is one of the most influential Ukrainian mob families on the West Coast and I come from one of the most politically influential families on the East Coast—it would never work. Three, she cheated on me with one of my best friends and I found them in a compromising position with her on her knees and his you-know-what in her mouth. It wasn’t a situation she could exactly talk herself out of,” Drake explained in a tone filled with bitterness and regret.

“Oh wow, that’s tough. How do you two…continue to run the business when something so explosive broke you up in the first place?”

“We don’t spend any time together. She takes care of the business side regarding the restaurant and I am simply the head chef. All in all, it works out. We enjoy owning the business together but we can admit we shouldn’t be together in a romantic capacity.”

“How very adult of you,” I murmured more to myself than him.

“Exactly what happened between you and Colin that caused you to act the opposite of an adult and leave your relationship like you were some fugitive breaking out of prison?”

“If I could tell you, I would but…it was something major and unfortunately, it involves criminal activity. People could still be arrested and sent to a maximum security facility for what I know so it’s not as simple as me telling you about it. Let’s just say he broke my heart and I don’t think I will ever recover from what he did to me,” I said in a quiet voice.

Drake was silent for a moment. “Wonders never cease…I would have never taken you for the type to protect anyone when it came to criminal activity. Not with your Harvard education and perfect manners.”

My heart seemed to stop before I inquired, “How did you know I attended Harvard?”

He laughed out loud and turned toward me quickly before he focused on the moving traffic again. “Your ex-boyfriend, Drew, is my first cousin. I know more about you than you think, Deirdre.”

How I wished finding out Drew and Drake were related had been the only surprise of my day. I arrived back at my condo to a “Welcome home” impromptu celebration and get together thrown by Drew and Aubrey. It was great to see them again until I noticed Colin sitting on my love seat nursing a small bottle of Evian water.

I quickly pulled my cousin to the side in my bedroom as soon as I’d escaped that awkward situation and wondered out loud, “What the hell is going on here? Why is Colin sitting on my sofa like there is
nothing
that happened between the two of us?”

Aubrey stuck her hands in the back of the electric blue jeggings she wore which matched her black short-sleeved peasant blouse and avoided my gaze. “Listen, he came by and Drew felt a bit sorry for him. He’s not here to do you any harm and he doesn’t want to fight with you. Please act cordial with him and this will go so much smoother.”

“What makes you think I would make a scene? I just got out of the hospital for Christ’s sake—I’m not in the position to argue with anyone but I didn’t think I would have to be on the defensive in my own home either.”

“He said he would leave you alone and if you were ready to talk then…it would be up to you.” She nervously slid a lock of her newly dyed auburn hair behind her ear. “Don’t you think you should speak to him? I mean doesn’t he at least deserve that?”

“Aubrey,” I warned in a cold voice.

She grabbed me by the shoulders and gently shook me. “No, Deirdre, listen to what you’re saying and realize you’re behaving like a complete and utter fool. You act like he killed someone for God’s sake. What could he have done that is so awful you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him? I’m sorry but the way you’re treating him just doesn’t make any sense what so ever.”

“Listen, you don’t know what you’re talking about. What happened between Colin and I is no one’s business and I’m not at liberty to tell you either so you are going to have to trust me on this.”

“He didn’t…physically hurt you, did he because you know I will kill the son of a bitch myself.”

“No, he wouldn’t ever touch me in that way.” I removed her hands from my shoulders and turned away from her so I wouldn’t have to lie to her face. “We drifted apart and we still love one another dearly but something happened before we got together and it cost us our relationship. It wasn’t anyone’s fault—it just happened and he didn’t think he’d feel the way he felt but he did and it was better for us not to be together than to stay with one another and continue to hurt each other. Do you understand?”

“Okay, so if that is the case and if what happened was so terrible, can’t you try to work it out now? I don’t like this whole idea of you getting involved with Drew’s cousin and something about Drake rubs me the wrong way. I mean…he
claims
to be broken up with this Mikayla but how do you know they won’t get back together?”

I turned toward Aubrey. “Wait, how do you know about Drake’s relationship with Mikayla?”

She rolled her eyes. “Drew told us about it while we were waiting for you two to come back from the hospital. Did you know he’s the prodigal son of Drew’s aunt who happens to be his mother’s sister? He was disowned and somehow he got involved with the Ukrainian mob. Maybe you should ask him how he meets people like
that
.”

“Perhaps because I truly don’t think it’s any of my business, Aubrey. You’ve known some pretty shady people in your time. How the hell did you meet them?” I snapped back not feeling in the most generous of moods and tired of arguing with my cousin.

“Believe me, I have met some shady people but I don’t try to pretend I’m anything other than what I am: poor trash from the wrong side of the tracks who hit the jackpot when a man like Drew decided to take a chance on me. You didn’t grow up in the school of hard knocks and you’ll never know what it’s like to be used and abused for money.”

Aubrey stopped talking and looked me dead in the eyes. “Don’t you know how much I envy you for that? You have been so lucky up until the unfortunate incident when your father was taken from you and Caitlyn in the most awful of circumstances. But believe me when I say that Drew still loves you very much. I would hazard a guess to say you have two men who are still in love with you: my boyfriend…and Colin.

“He would do anything to get you back, Deirdre,
anything
. What ever happened between you two just doesn’t end because a relationship hits rough sailing. Don’t go down the path of starting an affair with a man who knows some very dangerous people. It isn’t good for you and if this Mikayla still has any feelings for Drake then you are screwed. I wouldn’t put it past her to try to have you knocked off because she felt you to be a threat. That is all I am saying. Tread carefully with Drake and remember Colin will always there for you. I don’t think he would even know how to leave your side. You two were meant to be together—isn’t that enough for you?”

I stared back at my cousin with determination and renewed strength. “I honestly don’t know, Aubrey.”

Chapter Eight

Somehow, despite the odds, I made it through dinner with Drake to my left and Colin to my right. It started out awkward but once the alcohol began to flow, everyone loosened up and I truly did remember what a great person Colin still happened to be and how much fun he was to be around.

However, Drake was even more of a gem and the better he acted towards my situation with Colin, the more sexually attracted I felt to him. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Colin or I wasn’t sexually attracted to him because I was but my feelings for Drake were different. More intense and not so readily identifiable in the strictest sense; they didn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason and that is what I had a hard time wrapping my head around.

He was the opposite to Colin in every way who was blond, blue eyed and fair skinned though he held a hint of color in his skin to stop him from looking pale and sickly. Drake was dark with the exception of those beautiful eyes with lightly tanned skin, a five o’clock shadow he shaved more often than not and that air of being a bad boy Colin could never quite pull off because he had such an innocent face and a calm disposition. Oh I knew Colin was deadly but Drake radiated danger and somehow I found myself drawn to him like the old moth to a flame cliché.

Shortly after dinner, we all gathered in the living room but before I could sit down properly with my third glass of Pinot Grigio, Colin touched my arm gently. “Do you think it would be all right if we talked out on the patio for a moment?” He paused, his crystal blue eyes bright with early signs of intoxication but he was far from drunk. “Seriously, just talk, nothing else. I promise I won’t try to corner you or make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

I looked in Drake’s direction but he was too busy talking cuisine with Drew and Aubrey. “All right but I’m warning you now I’ve made up my mind and I won’t be coming back to Seattle any time soon—”

“You made that perfectly clear in the hospital,” he interrupted gently in an even-toned voice.

We walked out to my patio and I turned on the light so we could see one another. Both of us felt more comfortable leaning against the balcony, him with his Heineken and me with my wine glass of Pinot Grigio.

“Listen, I’m not here to try to talk you out of your relationship with Drake because it’s obvious to me and everyone else you’ve made up your mind.”

“Hold up. First of all, I am not in a relationship with Drake,” I replied defensively.

Colin touched my cheek softly before he snatched his right hand away as if I’d burned him. “He’s going to make his move soon enough and you’re more than receptive. I can see that. Although it hurts my heart very much and the thought of another man touching you and being with you makes my blood boil, I will put up with it because that is what
friends
do. I realize you no longer want to marry me but I have always cherished our friendship, Deirdre and yes, I do intend to stay here in La Jolla because it’s where you’re happy.”

“What about your business with Drew?” I inquired out loud. “I mean, if you dare tell me you are going back to bar jobs and being a barista with your Harvard degree then I will personally kill you myself.”

“I will still own the bar with Drew but he and Aubrey can handle it while I am away. Actually, I want to buy in on your coffee shop and co-own Ground Beans with you. We both know I am more knowledgeable about the coffee industry than you are so I would be more than happy to help,” he explained with a hint of snarkiness to his tone.