Online Lovers (4 page)

              It had been about two months since Rachel had gone out with Robert for the first time. They had been on plenty of dates in the meantime and tried to chat as much as they could whenever their schedules were not too busy. It was nice that he was local and Rachel enjoyed going out with him to different places she'd normally only pass by on her way to work. They shared some of the same interests and he was always trying to get her to try new things, backing off if she was uncomfortable. They only had sex a few times, but the level of intimacy she shared with him was like nothing she had experienced with anyone else in her life. Robert was gentle with her, choosing subtle ways to show her that he cared. The girls in the office bring up the instance where he sent her a rose every day for a week so that she would have a full bouquet on her desk. They were starting to wilt now, but Rachel had planned on drying the flowers out so that she could still keep them on her desk.

              However, two things were keeping her from the bliss she was craving. Those things had names: Ronnie and Richard.

              Ronnie had tried chatting with her whenever she was online. She was always asking if Rachel wanted to go out for a drink at 'Silk' or just have dinner together and Rachel refused each time. She knew the woman was trying to find a way to lull her into falling for her. It took about a month before Ronnie seemed to realize that the object of her affection was not interested. Also, it could have been the fact that Rachel reported her to the site administrators because she was faking her identity and a bit crazy. That problem had been resolved and Rachel knew that she didn't have to worry about Ronnie trying to contact her again.

              Richard was a bit of a different story.

              He had just recently started contacting her, most likely after his plans with the other woman fell through. He messaged her almost ten times a day, asking if he could see her again or at least invite her to dinner. She responded with questions about who the girl was and why he had asked her to leave so suddenly.

              To Rachel's surprise, he explained everything to her; apparently, the woman was someone he had met online as well and they had been going out for quite some time. She had slowly started to pull away from him and he had thought that the relationship was over. It wasn't until the night he went out with Rachel that she wanted to talk. She called him early because she figured he would be up and waiting for her whenever she needed him. The woman had come to his apartment to ask what was wrong with him and they ended up arguing for the remainder of the early morning. He asked her to leave, but she claimed he'd be crawling back to her. He wanted to give it time before he contacted Rachel again, just in case his ex wanted to try and sabotage him.

              It was a valid excuse and far too detailed for Rachel to think it was made up. At least she knew Richard cared about her enough to stay away when his crazy ex was on the loose.

***

              "Richard is fine girl and the sex was amazing. He made a mistake and he owned up to it, I respect him for that, at least he realized that he did something wrong. Most of these fools out here want even do that."

              Justine pondered for a moment. "Maybe you should take a break from both of them. Take a look at your life and see who fits in better?"

              "Maybe you should have another date night with them and see if you change your mind," Karen piped up.

              "Or you could just dump them both and start again from scratch?" Hannah asked, "No one would blame you for trying everything over again."

              "I don't know, Hannah, Richard seems like the better man..."

              "But Robert is so affectionate! You can't find that in a guy anymore, since half the time they just wanna hit it."

              "But Richard apologized to her. How many guys do you know do that?"

***

              "If you're still torn about this, then I won't stop you from following your heart," Robert whispered, "I'll step away for a bit and let you think about what you really want."

              "Are you sure?" she asked, worry beginning to coil in her gut, "What if I don't come back? Are you going to be ok?"

              “I'm good." he interrupted her, his voice cold enough to make her flinch. He had never spoken to her in such a way. It scared her. His expression told her that he realized what she was thinking and he backed away from her.

              "Let's just take some time off. Whatever you decide is your business and I don't want you to feel pressured by me to stay if you don't want to."

***

              Rachel woke to her phone vibrating nonstop. She blinked to remove the blur over her eyes, blindly reaching for her cell to see if it was work. She didn't expect to hear a 'ping', letting her know that she had a new text message. She thumbed into her inbox and almost dropped her phone on the floor.

              She had fifty-three messages, all from an unknown number. Rachel opened the first one, which had been sent around midnight the night before. "How the hell did I sleep through all of these?" she muttered, eyes scanning the text.

              Got this number from a friend of yours. I just need to hear your voice again. Please call me- Rich

              Rachel groaned, thumbing up through the rest of the messages. All of them were similar in content and all of them were from Richard. He needed to see her, he needed to hear her voice, he wanted to just spend the night with her one more time.

              What had she been thinking last week? He was definitely not the kind of person that she wanted to date and it surprised her that it had taken him this long to show his true colors. She blocked his number when her phone buzzed again. She wasn't even going to humor him with a phone call to tell him to back off; he probably wouldn't have listened anyway. Rachel had a plan to end whatever obsession he had with her and the first was making sure he couldn't reach her by phone.

              The next thing she did was booted up her computer. She reported Richard for harassment, making sure to put in screenshots of the emails she had been receiving over the past few months. She'd let the site moderators deal with the outcome, since she realized that she didn't need to go on the site anymore. Rachel deleted her profile on 'Love Hookups' and felt a weight lift off her shoulders. It had been  an interesting experience, no doubt about it.

              "But I've found my Mr. Right," she murmured, "and he's been just a few blocks away from me the entire time."

              Satisfied that she did all that she needed to do, she grabbed her coat and headed out to her car. No matter what his reaction to her was, she needed to see Rob.

***

              Rachel could have walked to his apartment and she realized that she should have. Her hands were trembling when she knocked on his door and all of the nervous energy she felt earlier in the day seemed to hit her full force. What if he didn't want to talk to her? What if he had moved on already? She couldn't help the feelings of doubt that were bubbling up and she wanted to just get this whole thing over with.

              Rob opened the door after a few seconds. He looked good, which was a nice to see. He didn't look ecstatic with her presence, nor did he look frustrated, so she thought she might have a chance.
             

              "I came over to apologize for pushing you away," she murmured, ashamed to even look Robert in the eye, "I took what we had for granted to chase after something that wasn't what it seemed. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am."

             
Robert was silent and Rachel took the pause as a prompt to carry on. "I messed up because I didn't know how deeply I felt about you. I..." She allowed herself to look up at him, trying to gauge if he was ready for her confession. His face was unreadable and, against her better judgment, she decided to continue. "I love you, Rob. I love you enough that I will leave you if you think that I'm not the right person for you. I just don't want us to part with this thing weighing us down."

              Robert's expression was still neutral, but she thought that she could see his eyes widen a bit after she confessed her love. This wasn't how she had planned to tell him; there was going to be a nice dinner, maybe a bit of a cuddling session back at his apartment, and he would rush into her arms but she would have to settle for what she could get.

              Rachel leaned towards him hesitantly, her eyes drifting to his lips. Those lips that felt like home to her. Those lips that would make everything better. She wanted to feel them on her body again. More than anything.

And before she could give it much thought, or prepare for his possible rejection, she kissed him. It was soft and gentle, questioning, and filled with hope.

              Robert froze at her touch, and for a moment, she dreaded what was coming. But he surprised her with a sigh, and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close. He kissed her back, gently at first, almost as though he were still unsure.

              And then Rachel felt something snap inside of him. His need for her was a visceral thing as he rocked her in his arms, giving into his desire for her. His lips melded against hers, soft and sweet, hungry and full of need.

              Rachel’s core fluttered, her breasts swollen and achy with need. She was desperate for more of his touch, but she knew this couldn’t be rushed. She wanted to savor this moment, and draw it out forever if she could. 

              She poured all of her emotions into that kiss, threading her hands through his hair as he cradled her against his chest. She needed him to know how sorry she was… that she meant what she said. It was her way of communicating without words.

              Robert seemed to accept this, communicating his own feelings right back to her. His body was burning up against her, his erection pressing against her hip.

“I need you,” he whispered. “I need to connect with you Rachel.”

“You have me,” Rachel assured him, stroking his jaw between her palms. “Make love to me Robert.”

Robert carried her down the hall, wasting no time as he stripped some of their clothing along the way. But once he had her naked and laid out across his bed, he just sat there for a moment, taking her in. As though he were committing her every curve to memory.

Rachel could still see the uncertainty in his eyes, and she knew she needed to take care of him in this moment. To reassure him how much he meant to her.

She pulled him by the hand, gesturing for him to lean back against the headboard. Once he was in place, she kissed him all over, starting with his mouth. She embellished his taut body with her lips, trailing kisses across his jaw, his neck, his chest. All of her favorite places on this man. This man that she loved.

She needed to make him understand. And she would. She massaged his shoulders and neck, helping him to relax. And then his arms and hands. Those hands that made her shiver with anticipation every time they touched her. She kissed the palms of each one, and then the fingertips, fluttering her eyes closed as she sucked one into her mouth.

Robert groaned, and she felt his erection jerk against her leg. Eager for attention too. She knelt down and swirled her thumb around the tip, staring up at Robert as he watched with hungry eyes.

She closed her eyes and sucked him between her lips, relishing in the sound that came from Robert’s throat when she did. He threaded his fingers through hers, holding their hands together as she worked him with only her mouth. She licked and sucked him slowly, with care. Paying attention to his every sound and using them to guide her moves. If he liked something particular, she would do that again and again, wanting to give him pleasure like he’d never known.

She felt him begin to tremble, and pulled away before he could finish. She wanted him inside of her. No, she needed him inside of her. To feel this connection with him.