One Night of Trouble (12 page)

“Sure there is. We can still hang out.” It was his turn to shift in discomfort. “Unless you don’t want to…?”

Brett bit her lip, torn. She wouldn’t mind the company, but she hadn’t been kidding about not being in the mood. It seemed impossible, considering that all AJ had to do was
look
at her and her panties melted off, but her mind was too muddled at the moment. Seeing Troy had reminded her of a chapter in her life she was desperate to forget, and not even AJ could distract her from that tonight.

Times like these, only some trashy television and a carton of ice cream did the trick.

“Have you eaten?” she asked him.

He nodded. “I had dinner at my folks’ house.”

“Good, because there’s nothing in my fridge, so I wouldn’t have been able to feed you.” Ugh, which also meant no ice cream. Damn it. “I desperately need to get some groceries.”

“Why don’t we do that now?”

The suggestion threw her for a loop. “You want to go grocery shopping together?”

“Why not? We might as well stock up your fridge, seeing as you’re not in the mood…”

The humor in his eyes made it clear he was just teasing her. He genuinely seemed okay that she’d taken sex off the table, and she appreciated that he wasn’t trying to coax her into getting naked.

“Okay,” she said with a shrug. “Let’s do it then.”

“I’ll drive,” he replied, taking her hand and leading her to his Jeep. “Where do you want to go?”

The Kims’ store was already closed for the night, so she directed him to the twenty-four-hour grocery mart three blocks away. Five minutes later, they were pushing a squeaky cart through the air-conditioned aisles.

Talk about surreal.

Brett noticed several shoppers sneaking peeks at her arms as she passed by. It was a common occurrence—people always stared at her tattoos, and she didn’t mind it, especially since most of the time it was out of admiration. Every now and then, though, the attention stemmed from disapproval and judgment.

Case in point—the woman they encountered in the cereal aisle.

Middle-aged and harried-looking, the blonde was pushing an overloaded cart while two little girls trailed after her, bouncing excitedly on their tiny pink sneakers.

“Pretty!” one of the girls exclaimed, pointing to the cluster of roses around Brett’s wrist.

The child’s mother was quick to correct her. “Not pretty,” she said in a stern voice. “It’s mutilation, sweetie.” With a pointed look, she added, “And very inappropriate.”

As inappropriate as taking two small children grocery shopping at nine thirty on a school night?
Brett was tempted to snipe back.

“What’s mootilation?” the other girl asked.

The woman didn’t even look Brett’s way as she and her daughters disappeared around the corner. Brett couldn’t hear her response to the children, but she didn’t need to be a genius to figure out what it would be. Something scathing, no doubt.

“Ignore that,” AJ murmured to her.

She offered a wry look before scanning the wall of cereal boxes in search of the one she wanted. “Don’t worry. I’m used to those types of reactions. You’re the one I feel bad for. You poor thing, associating with someone so mutilated and inappropriate.”

His soft chuckle heated the back of her neck. “I happen to find your mutilated body very sexy.”

“Aw, thank you.” She spotted her favorite cereal and leaned up on her tiptoes, but she was too short to reach the top shelf.

AJ snickered and took pity on her, coming up beside her to grab the box of Corn Pops. His arm brushed hers, bare skin grazing bare skin, and she broke out in goose bumps. Jeez. There’d been nothing sexual about the contact, yet her entire body tingled like crazy.

Maybe she was in the mood, after all.

But since they were already at the grocery store, she forced herself to banish the temptation to abandon the cart and drag him home.

“Seriously, though, how many other girls covered in tats have you gone out with?” she asked curiously.

“Not many,” he confessed.

“None, I bet.”

“Fine. None.”

“Have any of your girlfriends been bat-shit crazy?”

“No, I can’t say they have. Why? Do I need to worry about any bat-shit crazy exes of yours tracking me down and killing me?”

“Probably not.” She paused in the next aisle, swiping a jar of olives from the shelf and carefully placing it in the cart.

“Probably?” AJ echoed. “That doesn’t sound promising at all.”

“I already told you, I’ve dated some jerks in the past.” Brett hesitated, then decided she might as well be completely honest with him. “One of them showed up at the tattoo parlor today.”

“Yeah?”

“This guy Troy. He strolled right in and announced that he wants me back.”

AJ’s broad shoulders stiffened, but it was difficult to interpret the response. Was he jealous? Angry on her behalf? Despite his rigid body language, his shuttered expression revealed nothing.

“I see,” AJ said slowly. “And do you want him back?”

“Hell no.” She spoke with unwavering conviction. “But seeing him was kind of…I don’t know…depressing, I guess? It reminded me of all the time I invested in the relationship. All the time I wasted.”

“There’s no such thing as a waste of time.” AJ shrugged. “The way I see it, everything we do, every decision we make, good or bad, is just a learning opportunity.”

“Yeah, well, I learned never to trust men with dimples.”

He grinned at her, and the dimple in his chin popped out as if on cue. “Aw. You don’t trust me, angel?”

“Not in the slightest,” she said cheerfully. “You’re an evil man who does evil things to my body.”

“Ha. You like it. Scratch that—you
love
it.” His teasing expression shifted back to curiosity. “So what kind of horrendous things did this Troy do to you?”

“At the beginning? Nothing. I was head over heels in love with him. He was fun and adventurous and made me laugh. We had a ton in common—he’s a tattoo artist, too. A ridiculously talented one.” She frowned. “At least when he bothers to show up for work.”

“A bum, huh?” AJ said as they headed down the next aisle.

“Naah, just a guy who likes to have a good time.” Sighing, she tossed two packages of linguine into the cart. “He wasn’t the greatest influence on me. If he wanted to close the bar on a Monday night, I’d be right there with him. If he felt like blowing off work for a couple of days and driving up to Maine for a spontaneous beach trip, I was like, sign me up.” Another breath slipped out, this one heavy with regret. “When I’m in a relationship, I give it everything I have. I work so hard to make the other person happy.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“It is when you’re the one making all the compromises.” She stopped in the frozen-food aisle. “And it’s even worse when you do it against your better judgment. I mean, I
knew
I shouldn’t have been out at the bar when I had to be up early the next morning, but I couldn’t say no to Troy. He was addictive.”

AJ sidled up to her as she started piling cartons of ice cream into the cart. “So how did it end?”

She was grateful for the cold air shivering out of the freezer, because her cheeks had gone hot with embarrassment. “We were at a pub, and Troy picked a fight with some guy who wouldn’t give up the pool table. It escalated real fast, and the owner called the cops. They ended up taking me in, too.”

“Shit,” AJ murmured.

Brett pretended to focus on a shelf of frozen veggies so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “My dad had to bail me out.” She nearly choked on the shame lining her throat. “It was
mortifying
. That’s when I realized I couldn’t have someone like Troy in my life. It didn’t matter how much fun we had together. He wasn’t good for me. So I ended it. And then, a few weeks later, I found out from a friend that he’d been cheating on me the entire time we were together.”

AJ whistled under his breath. “Sounds like a real prince. And he came by to see you today?”

“Yep.”

“Man. I can see why you’re in a bad mood.”

“More like a sad mood.” She turned away from the freezer and examined the cart. She’d gotten everything she’d needed, and as she and AJ headed for the checkout line, she glanced over with a dry look. “I’m betting there aren’t any stories like that in
your
dating history.”

“No,” he confessed. “The girls I’ve dated have been pretty wholesome. You know, the type you can bring home to mom.”

His words evoked a spark of hurt, even though she knew it wasn’t a specific dig at her. Yes, he’d met
her
family, but that was because they were putting on a show for them. There was no reason for Brett to meet
his
parents.

Except…she suspected that even if they had an official relationship, he still wouldn’t take her to meet them. She was the furthest thing from wholesome. Hell, she’d literally chased someone out of a grocery aisle five minutes ago.

“What are your parents like?” She halted five feet from the line so they were out of earshot of the other customers.

Uneasiness creased his features, the way it always seemed to do when he mentioned his family. He’d told her about his brother dying, but other than that, she had no idea what his family life was like.

“They’re…nice,” he said vaguely. “But very traditional about some things.”

“Like what?”

“You know, marriage, kids, white picket fences. They’ve been married for forty years, and honestly? They really do have the perfect relationship. They hardly ever fight, they tell each other everything, they’re madly in love.” He paused, a faraway light in his eyes. “They want the same thing for me. They want me to be smart and successful, marry the perfect woman, have perfect children.”

Brett carefully edged in. “Like I said last week, perfection doesn’t exist.”

“Tell that to them.” No mistaking the bitterness hardening his features.

And the…guilt?

God, sometimes it was impossible to read this man.

“But what about what you want?” she pointed out. “I mean, it’s nice that they want all these things for you, but do
you
want to get married and have kids?”

“Sure. One day.” His jaw tensed, and then he corrected himself. “No, I want it now.”

Brett raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

With a pained expression, he curled his hands over the metal edge of the cart. “Really. That’s what I’m looking for in my next relationship—someone who’s ready to settle down.”

The sting returned, which only added to her confusion. The reminder that she wasn’t in a relationship with AJ troubled her more than she wanted to admit, but not as much as the conflicting emotions flashing on his face. He was deeply upset, yet she couldn’t figure out why.

And his next revelation just made her head spin harder.

“Look, I owe it to them, okay?”

Brett didn’t get a chance to respond. He was already gone, steering the cart toward the line. The elderly woman ahead of them had just paid for her groceries, which meant they were next in line, leaving Brett no opportunity to question him.

She swallowed her distress and impatience as they rang the groceries through, but the second they stepped outside, she couldn’t hold back any longer.

“What do you mean, you
owe
it to them?”

AJ didn’t meet her eyes as he unlocked the Jeep. A second later, he was loading the bags in the back, acting like she wasn’t even there.

But Brett refused to let it go.

“What did you mean by that?” she demanded, scrambling into the passenger’s seat as AJ started the car. “Why exactly do you think you owe your parents something?”

A groove appeared in his forehead. Slowly, he glanced over, acknowledging her presence.

“Why?” she pressed.

His voice came out in an angry rush. “Because I’m the reason their son died.”

Chapter Eleven

Christ. The last thing AJ wanted to do was bare his soul in the parking lot of a Fresh Mart, but once the confession flew out, he couldn’t take it back.

In the passenger seat, Brett was staring at him with wide eyes. Her jaw had fallen open, and he saw her swallowing repeatedly as she tried to make sense of what he’d said.

When she spoke, her voice was low and gentle. “Your brother Joey?”

AJ nodded. Took a breath. It was difficult, though, when agony had slashed his insides to pieces. “He died because of me.”

Brett reached across the center console and squeezed his hand. “Tell me what happened.”

Fuck. No. He didn’t want to relive that night. He’d never told anyone about it before. Reed, Gage, Darcy…all they knew was that he’d had an older brother who’d died before the Walshes had moved to Boston, but that was it. Nobody knew the whole story.

Nobody knew the truth.

“Tell me,” Brett repeated.

Her fingers laced through his, grounding him to her, easing the massive load of guilt crushing his chest.

“My family used to live in Vermont.” He winced at the crack in his voice. “We had a huge property outside of Burlington, pretty much surrounded by forest.”

He halted.

Brett waited.

“I was a total brat when I was a kid,” he said gruffly. “I argued with my parents all the time, broke all their rules.”

He stopped again.

She waited.

“And I told you what Joey was like, right?”

“Perfect,” she murmured.

AJ’s heart clenched. “I know you don’t believe me, but he was. He was the perfect son, and I was the hell-raiser. I just wanted to run around in the woods and explore and do whatever the hell I wanted.”

“That’s what most kids are like,” she pointed out.

“Maybe. But I took it too far.” His hands clenched into fists, and he quickly had to loosen them before he crushed Brett’s fingers. “I don’t even remember what I was pissed off about, but one day I just flipped out about something my parents had done, some rule they’d probably tried to make me follow, so I ran away.” He laughed harshly. “I decided I wasn’t going to let them boss me around anymore. I was going to live in the woods and hunt for food and catch fish and live off the land.”

He went quiet, for so long that Brett didn’t wait this time.

“What happened?” she urged.

“I was gone for hours. Built myself a little fort out of branches, stuffed myself with candy I’d stolen from the house. I was living the dream.” Bile rose in his throat and seared his windpipe. “And while I was having the time of my life, the whole neighborhood was combing the woods looking for me. It was late by then, two, three in the morning, and I’d been missing for more than fourteen hours.”

“Whoa. Your parents must have been freaking out.”

“They were in a panic. So was Joey.” AJ bit the inside of his cheek, so hard he tasted blood in his mouth. “I might have hated my parents, but I loved Joey. He was a damn good brother. Didn’t matter that he was eight years older than me. He treated me like I was his best friend. He took me camping, played catch with me, taught me how to fish.”

“He was looking for you that night?”

AJ clamped his lips together, trying to collect his rapidly crumbling composure. But he forced himself to go on. “He led the search party. It was dark out, and there were dozens of people traipsing around in the forest—because of me. I was the reason they were out there.”

“AJ…what happened to Joey?”

His throat closed up. Christ, he couldn’t breathe. His lungs had seized up.

Brett touched his cheek, her dark eyes shining with warmth and assurance. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”

She’d given him an out. He didn’t have to keep talking. Didn’t have to think about the horror slashing his father’s face when AJ had found him on that rocky slope. The vicious bolt of betrayal that had struck AJ’s chest when he’d met his father’s eyes.

“I heard the shouts,” he choked out. “That’s what made me come out of my hiding spot. People were screaming, but it wasn’t my name they were screaming anymore.” His eyelids stung so badly his vision became a foggy blur. “He tripped, Brett. He tripped, fell down a hill, and broke his neck.”

Her sharp gasp echoed through the Jeep. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

She was touching his face now, cupping his cheeks, brushing her thumbs over the sheen of moisture leaking from his eyes. AJ sagged toward her, his forehead resting against hers as the old wounds he’d opened wreaked havoc on his body.

“He was out there that night looking for me, and he died because of me.” His heart beat faster, a frantic rhythm against his rib cage. “They blamed me, too.”

“Your parents?” she whispered.

His head dropped on her shoulder, and the familiar scent of her skin succeeded in clearing his head. He looked up and nodded. “They never said it out loud, but I knew they blamed me. Hell, I blamed myself. I got their favorite son killed. I took away their pride and joy.”

“I’m sure it must have felt that way, but from what you’ve told me, your parents don’t seem like malicious people,” she said quietly. “I’m sure they saw the situation for what it was—a tragic accident.”

“All they saw was me,” he corrected. “The son whose reckless actions killed Joey. And they had every right. I was selfish. I didn’t care about consequences. I just did whatever the hell I wanted, and as a result, my big brother died.” Self-loathing trickled down his spine in steady drops. “We left Vermont six months after the funeral. My parents couldn’t stand living in the house where Joey had grown up, so we moved to Boston, started over, and that’s when I made a decision. No, a promise.”

“A promise to what?”

“To be better, damn it. To be
good
.”

…

As Brett stared into AJ’s anguished green eyes, all the puzzle pieces slipped into place. God, the reason she hadn’t been able to pin down exactly who he was…it was because he was trying to be someone else.

The revelation brought a deep ache to her heart. The All-American good-guy hero image he tried to project was a direct result of his brother’s death. AJ had stepped up to take his perfect brother’s place, and in the process, he’d hidden his true self from the people in his life.

But not from her. Yes, she’d seen his gentleman side. She’d seen the easygoing, playful AJ. But she’d also glimpsed the sides he didn’t show the rest of the world. The bossy alpha male. The fighter. The business owner. The wild man who craved excitement and met any challenge.

“You
are
good,” she said fiercely. “And if your parents don’t see that, then screw them.”

But even as she said the words, she realized that the issue wasn’t with AJ’s parents.
He
didn’t see himself as worthy, and it was a flawed belief that had formed the night his brother died.

“Easier said than done,” AJ said in a tired voice. “I can’t just write my folks off. They’re good people, and I love them. It’s not their fault that I keep screwing up.”

“How have you screwed up?” she challenged.

In a monotone voice, he listed off a long list of “faults.” “I didn’t play professional ball like my dad wanted. I got into MMA fighting instead of going to college. I opened a nightclub instead of working for his company. I broke up with Darcy, who they considered the perfect woman.”

He’d mentioned Darcy before, just in passing, but this latest reference made Brett’s shoulders stiffen. Perfect woman, huh?

Did it make her an awful person that she now officially
hated
AJ’s ex-girlfriend?

“I keep straying off the path I set for myself and disappointing them,” AJ said. “But I can’t screw up anymore. My mom’s health isn’t the greatest these days. She had a heart attack a while back, almost died. She needs grandchildren, a daughter-in-law to talk to…”

“What about what you need?” Brett countered.

His body tensed with visible frustration. “Who says my needs and theirs are mutually exclusive?”

Brett, for one, but she kept her opinion to herself. AJ was agitated enough as it was, and she didn’t want to push him any harder than she already had. But she saw right through his feeble declaration.

He’d said so himself—he only dated nice, “wholesome” girls. But after almost two weeks with the guy, Brett knew his tastes ran toward not so nice. He was wild and rough and absolutely
spectacular
when he allowed himself to let go.

It suddenly dawned on her that she and AJ weren’t all that different. Both trying to please their families, both fighting their impulsive urges and hiding bits and pieces of themselves from the people they loved.

“C’mon,” he said gruffly. “We should head back before all that ice cream you bought starts to melt.”

They drove back to her apartment in silence, but Brett wasn’t concerned with the lack of conversation. They’d done a lot of talking just now, and her brain was still struggling to work through all the data AJ had fed into it.

AJ the gentleman made an appearance when they reached her place. He carried all the bags upstairs, despite her protests that she could handle at least
one
. But he was adamant, stepping aside only so she could unlock the door, then marching into her kitchen to help her put away the groceries.

“So chivalrous,” she teased.

“It’s the least I can do after dumping my whole life story on you.”

Brett closed the cupboard and walked over to him, resting her palms on his chest. “Hey, you didn’t dump anything. I
wanted
to hear it.”

He hesitated. “I’ve never told anyone about how Joey died.”

The confession brought a strange rush of warmth to her chest. “I’m glad you told me.”

He lifted his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Can I…uh…how would you feel if I crashed here tonight?”

She blinked in surprise. “You want to sleep over?”

He nodded.

A quick glance at the clock over the fridge revealed that it was already past ten. She had to wake up early for a seven-o’clock appointment because her client couldn’t come any other time. And besides…

“Don’t worry, I’m not in the mood either,” he said as if reading her mind. “And you can kick me out tomorrow morning whenever you have to go.”

“I know. It just feels weird for you to stay over when, um, you know, when we won’t be doing sexy stuff.”

“You make it sound like I’m a sex-starved maniac,” he grumbled.

She stared at him.

“Fine, you do bring out that side of me,” he conceded. “But I’m a big boy. I’m perfectly capable of keeping my pants zipped and just hanging out with you.” He sounded pensive. “What would you be doing right now if I wasn’t here?”

She instantly clammed up. “Nothing.”

“Liar.” He grasped her chin, tugging it upward so she was forced to look at him. “Come on, spill. I promise not to tell.”

Heat bloomed in her cheeks. “Fine. If you weren’t here, I’d bust open a carton of chocolate mocha mousse and watch a few episodes of the
Vampire Diaries
.”

AJ gawked at her. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.” He looked so horrified she couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s one of my guilty pleasures. Seriously, I’m addicted to trashy teenager shows. I watch them every night before bed.”

“Wow. You really don’t strike me as the type.”

She wagged her finger at him. “Hey, I thought we discussed the whole judging-a-book-by-its-cover thing. You’re not nice, and I watch cheesy television shows. Deal with it.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He sighed heavily. “Fine, I guess I’m in. But you’re gonna have to catch me up because I’ve never seen an episode of that show in my life.”

Brett beamed at him. “Oh my God. You don’t know what you’re missing.” Her earlier reluctance vanished as she took his hand and dragged him toward the living room. “Okay, so there’s a town full of vampires, and this girl—Elena—is torn between two vampire brothers. They’re both smoking hot, but one of them is kind of a dick. He’s the one I’m rooting for, though. Trust me, he’s
way
more interesting than the other one…”

AJ—God bless his sexy soul—didn’t utter a single disparaging remark while she chattered on about the show, and as they cuddled together on the couch, it occurred to her that they’d reached a turning point tonight.

Only she had no idea what it was, or where it would lead them.