Once More (Mercy Heart #1) (4 page)

“Don’t you think it will be hard to be with dying people every single day, Kate?” he asked as he gently caressed her back.  She closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed the warmth of his hand.  The expression on her face was one of solemn pleasure.  A frown crossed his face as he wondered if this was the only affection anyone had shown her in over three years.  Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at him, a tiny glint of tears threatening to fall down her cheek.

“I’m sure it won’t be easy.  But I know what it’s like to be in their shoes.  How can I not dedicate my life to helping others who are suffering the same way I did?” 

“Do you have any other family?  What about your dad?” 

“My mother’s parents passed away in a car accident when I was a child and I don’t really remember them.  I never met my father or any of his family.  My mom grew up in Lawton, Oklahoma, and my father was in the Army, stationed at Fort Sill when they met.  They weren’t together very long, just long enough for her to get pregnant with me.  He was shipped out before she found out she was expecting.  I don’t know if she ever got a chance to tell him about me.  As far as I know, she never tried to contact him.  I don’t even know if he’s alive.  Her parents left her a decent inheritance, and she worked as a dental hygienist because it allowed her a flexible schedule to be able to care for me.  She was a great mom.  I always knew I was the most important thing to her, even when she was sick.”

He grappled with what to say in this situation, his heart completely breaking for her and everything she had been through in her life.  He finally decided there were no words, and simply pulled her in to his side and held her there.  Though hesitant at first at how to react, she finally drew her feet up on the couch and relaxed against him while he stroked her hair. 

A loud noise forced Katelyn awake.  Her heart racing, it took a moment to sink in that she was in her apartment and not alone.  She sat up slowly and looked down at Clem, who had fallen asleep holding her and was now snoring – so loudly that she presumed his snore was the noise that had woken her.  She took advantage of being able to get a good look at him without the worry of being caught.  His long, lean body was stretched out across the couch, with one leg resting on her coffee table.  His hair, sandy brown in color, was trimmed short on the sides and kept a little longer on the top, with a slight waviness that looked very sexy even in the middle of his slumber on her couch.  On her couch…she had a man asleep on her couch.  He possessed strong muscular arms that, moments earlier, were holding her gently against him.  Except of course for her patients, this was the closest she had ever been to a man.  She certainly didn’t avoid human contact, but she had never been one to attract attention.  She longed for affection and companionship, though she was clueless as to how to put herself in that kind of situation.  Tonight, however, she had done just that.  She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a nervous giggle and avoid waking the handsome man on her couch.  Reaching behind her, she grabbed a quilt and turned off the lamp.  Carefully assuming her previous position in Clem’s arms, she covered them both and went back to sleep. 

Chapter 4

The next morning, Clem awoke, slightly disoriented and unsure of his surroundings.  Katelyn came out of her bedroom, her hair in a ponytail, dressed to go for a run.  If he weren’t already sporting a morning erection, the sight of her in black skin-tight running Capri pants and a hot pink sports bra would have made him rise to the occasion.  Falling asleep holding this beautiful creature in his arms would have been a test to even the most disciplined man’s willpower, but the realities that were revealed to him last night by Katelyn about her inexperience made him all too aware that he would need to take things very slowly.  Even though they had just met, his feelings were genuine, and, as she shyly smiled down at him, he smiled back, accepting that getting involved with her was going to be well worth the effort.  He stood up to stretch, and then turned towards Katelyn, who hadn’t moved from the end of the couch.  He stepped towards her, and held out his hand, which she accepted.  He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, and, as their eyes met, he forgot to breathe for a moment, losing himself in the deep pools of green. 

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked, quietly.

“Oh, yes, I slept fine.  I’ve slept in worse positions, believe me.  Though, the next time I spend the night, let’s just move it to the bedroom,” he said, half-jokingly, but the moment the words were out, he almost wanted to take them back.  Her shocked expression left him feeling sure he’d scare her away.  He slid an arm from around her waist and stroked her cheek.  “Hey, I was just kidding.  We can take things slow –“.

“You want to spend the night with me again?” she interrupted, looking so deep into his eyes, he was sure she was searching his soul. 

Thrilled that she was open to the idea, his heart felt so full he thought it would burst as he pulled her even closer.  “Well, yes, of course I do, and believe me, I’m hoping for another chance to get to.  But first, let’s get to know each other.  There is no rush.  I want to spend time with you, learn everything I can about you.  And I want to share with you about me.  Does that sound acceptable to you?” he asked, flashing a devilishly handsome grin.  The smile that stretched across her face was so bright and full of excitement that it caused his chest to tighten in a way he’d never felt before. 
What on earth have you gotten yourself into here, Bryant?

“Yes,” she responded in a breathy whisper.  “That sounds wonderfully acceptable to me.”

“Good”, he quietly replied, planting a soft kiss on her cheek.  “Now that we have that cleared up, I can’t help but notice that you are dressed for a run.  Care if I join you?  We can swing by my place so I can change and then run on campus.”

“That sounds great!  I am ready if you are.”  She grabbed a couple protein bars as well as her jacket and they left.

The drive to his fraternity house was pleasant, with a relaxed flow of conversation and comfortable silences.  He changed quickly while she stretched in the yard, and off they went, but not before he shot dirty looks at a few of his fraternity brothers who had gathered on the porch to enjoy the view.  He possessively placed one hand on her bare lower back and used the other to flip off his frat brothers, who sheepishly smiled and waved as they began to run off. 

Almost an hour and over six miles later, they returned to his house.  Though hot and sweaty, she looked just as gorgeous, perhaps even more so, than she had before they started.  He, on the other hand, felt as though his heart would get tired of beating so fast in his chest and would just stop all together at any moment. 

“Wow…” he said, after his breathing was under control.  “I guess I’m not in as good a shape as I thought.  Good thing you are a nurse.  I may need mouth-to-mouth.”

“Well, I would be happy to oblige, Mr. Bryant,“ she said, and then she quickly turned away, moving into a stretch to avoid eye contact with him. 
Happy to oblige?
  Where did that come from?  Her cooled down face was now hot again, but this time with embarrassment. 

He stood there, momentarily stunned at her flirtatious side.  Sensing her mortification, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, stilling her movements. 

“Please don’t turn away from me,” he said in a husky whisper, “especially when you are being so damn sexy.  It is completely appropriate to flirt with me, you know.  I encourage it, even.” 

Her body relaxed in his arms, and she turned around, finally meeting his gaze.  “I’m sorry –“, she began, but he interrupted her.

“Do not apologize,” he said as he dropped his arms and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the house.  “Come on.  Let’s get a drink.  I am dying of thirst after that run.  Then we can hit the showers,” he added, with a wicked grin.  She shook her head but did not resist him. 

While he showered, she waited in his room.  It was much more neat and tidy than she had expected, though assuming she knew what to expect seemed laughable as she had never stepped foot in a frat house until today.  His desk was taken up with two computer monitors, and a couple of phones, much like the one he had in the park on the day they met.  She studied his bulletin board, searching the faces in the photographs of his family and friends.  When he came back into the room, his hair damp from his shower, he was barefoot and dressed only in a pair of jeans.  She found herself unable to tear her gaze away from the V-shape his abdominal muscles made as they disappeared under the low waist-band of his pants.  Feeling suddenly light-headed, she realized she had stopped breathing.  She finally looked up to his face and found him smirking at her.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I will be unable to keep my promise to take things slowly,” he said, his voice a deep husky tone as he moved closer to her. 

“Would that be so bad?” she asked quietly, obviously feeling braver in her attempts at flirting with him.

He cocked his head to the side, studying her.  She nervously bit her lower lip, staring at his chest in order to not meet his gaze, and she was certainly avoiding moving her eyes any lower, which would provide more than enough hard evidence that he was aroused by her mere presence.  He stepped towards her, expecting her to move back, but thankfully she stayed planted firmly in place.  As he stood in front of her, he tipped her head back and gently kissed her lips, relieved she returned his kiss. 

“I’m not going to pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do.  You know that, right?  I want you to trust me.  Do you trust me?” he asked, as he held her hands against his bare chest, lightly kissing her fingertips.

“Yes.  Yes, I trust you, Clem,” she answered quietly, but with a confidence that stunned even her.  As her eyes met his, she slid her hands up his chest and around to the back of his neck, drawing his face closer to hers for an epically sweet kiss.  Reaching up, he slid the zipper of her jacket down and removed it before she could hesitate.  He wrapped his arms around her and, kneeling on the bed, slowly lowered them both without breaking the connection of their lips. 

As he lay beside her, one of his legs intertwined with hers, she could feel the hardness of his arousal pressed against her side.  The timid kiss she had initiated was now anything but as he deepened the thrusts into her mouth, playfully caressing her tongue with his own.  His fingers roamed her body, slowly caressing the spots where her torso was uncovered and moving up to trace the band of her sports bra.  He hesitated for just a moment, but then lightly palmed her breast, rubbing the hard peak of her nipple through the fabric.  He smiled against her mouth as she let out a moan of satisfaction. 

Lost in the wonderful sensations, she was too far-gone to dwell for even a second on what was happening.  Tentatively, she moved her hand to do some exploring of his body on her own.  She dragged her fingers from his chest and lower still, fascinated by the rippling of his pronounced abdominal muscles.  With a sudden burst of nerve, she forced her hand even lower and ran her long fingernails just once up the bulge of denim in the front of his jeans.  His resulting groan made her own belly clench.  The gratification of his reaction was a heady reward for her, and she began stroking him through his jeans. 

All of a sudden, he was over her, moving between her legs, still engaged in a ferocious kiss, only now he was rubbing against her in just the right spot, causing such a glorious reaction deep inside her, a feeling that had never occurred before at any other time in her entire life.  Just when she thought the sensation couldn’t possibly be more remarkable, she experienced a climax so intense that she broke their kiss, almost pushing away from him as she was certain she could not handle anymore.  She never knew that it could be like this, especially when they were still fully clothed.  His moan of her name and ragged breathing clued her into the fact that he had taken pleasure in their encounter as well. 
Wait…did he?  How can I tell?  Should I ask him?

Clem opened his eyes and saw a reaction he didn’t expect.  She was staring at him, with an anxious look in her eyes.  Certainly he hadn’t hurt her.  He knew that was for sure.  Was she scared of him? 

“What’s wrong?  Are you okay?  Didn’t you enjoy that?” he asked breathlessly, almost frightened himself of the answer.

“Yes.  Yes, I enjoyed that immensely,” she replied, timidly.  “Did you?” she asked, her fingers playing with his chest hair, unable to make eye contact with him. 

“Oh, baby, Katelyn, yes, of course, I enjoyed that,” he said, as he held her close, relieved that she was concerned about his pleasure and that he hadn’t scared her away.  She relaxed and cuddled closer, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms.  “Come on, let me take you home so you can change and then we’ll grab some lunch.”

The ride back to her apartment was quiet, but not awkwardly so.  He glanced at her occasionally, each time finding the same bright smile on her face, and felt a supreme sense of male satisfaction knowing he put it there.  While she showered, he stretched out on her bed and closed his eyes, smiling as the occurrence from earlier played out in his mind.  He had never felt the same for any other woman in his past.  Experiencing her firsts with her and seeing it through her eyes was refreshing for him, as well as exhilarating.  She already meant so much to him, but this was all new to her.  He knew he had to protect her, even if it meant protecting her from himself. 

Chapter 5

As Katelyn got ready for her last day of finals, she reflected over the past two weeks with Clem.  When they weren’t in class, they spent every moment together.  Most nights they stayed at her place.  She would cook dinner, most often omelets as she had mastered the art of cooking them, and then she’d hit the books while he messed around on his laptop or cell phone.  He was working on a special project for a partnership between the university and Apple computers, designing a program for a fancy new mobile phone they were getting ready to release.  He had already completed his finals, and was also set to graduate on Saturday.  She had studied until her eyes crossed every night, or until Clem’s presence became too much to ignore, and they would end up making out on the couch for awhile until he went home.  She knew that he was eager to take the next step, and admittedly she was too, but she was so thankful that he allowed her the space to ease into their relationship slowly.  He wasn’t going to push her, but she knew he wouldn’t wait forever.  The decision would have to be hers, and tonight, after her finals and her college days were completely behind her as well, seemed like the perfect night. 

Clem was trying to work off some sexual frustration in the gym.  He couldn’t deny to himself that the past few weeks with Katelyn had been a truly wonderful experience, just getting to know her without any of the games other women he had dated had played.  But taking matters into his own hands every night after leaving her place was starting to wear on him.  He had just finished a long, punishing run on the treadmill when his fraternity brothers, Jack and Sam, entered the weight room. 

“Hey stranger.  Where’ve you been, man?   We haven’t seen you in weeks,” said Jack, who, as a member of the same pledge class, had been his closest friend since their first days on campus. 

“Yeah, you still hanging out with that nursing student?” said Sam.  “She looks like she’d be pretty hot in the sack.  Are you getting an up-close anatomy lesson?” he asked with a knowing leer on his face.

Sam’s comments immediately incensed Clem, who stalked towards Sam while flexing his fists.  “Yes, I am hanging out with her, and what we are doing behind closed doors in none of your damn business.”

Jack reached out to grab a hold of Clem’s arm as Sam put his hands up in defense and backed away to the other side of the weight room.  “Whoa, dude, what’s gotten into you?  He was just messing around like we always do.  What is going on?  I’ve never seen you like this.”

Clem backed down and sat on the weight bench, running his hands through his hair.  “It’s her, man.  Katelyn.  She –“

“Wait.  Nursing student Katelyn, as in, Katelyn Williams?  That’s who you are seeing?” Jack sat down beside him. 

“Yeah, you know her?”

“Know her?  I’ve been hitting on her since Cell Bio, but she’s never given me the time of day.  Nursing students are required to take a certain amount of science hours, so as a Biology major, she and I have crossed paths more than once.  She is absolutely stunning, and so smart.  The other science geeks and I have fought over getting to partner up with her over the years.  Seriously, she’s incredibly intelligent and smoking hot.  What’s she doing with you, again?” 

Clem laughed at his friend, who, at first glance, didn’t appear to be any kind of geek, science or otherwise.  At 6’5”, Jack towered over Clem by 4 inches.  When he wasn’t studying or in the lab, he was in the gym, and his trim physique made him look like he was ready for the runway instead of a lifetime behind a Bunsen burner.

“Believe me, Jack, I know she’s gorgeous, and I have no idea what she’s doing with me.  Remember a few weeks ago when I had that bike wreck?  She was the one who came to my rescue and walked with me to health services.  And I doubt she was ignoring your advances.  She is very dedicated to her schoolwork, and she hasn’t dated much.  In fact,” he looked around to make sure no one could hear their conversation, “she hasn’t dated, ever.  She’s a—she’s a virgin, Jack,” he finished with a whisper.

“A virgin?” Jack replied a little too loudly, only to be shushed by Clem as he looked around to see if anyone had heard.  More quietly, he continued.  “Are you serious?” Jack looked straight at Clem, who simply nodded. “Wow…I mean, just… wow…”

“Yeah, and up until we met, she’d never even been kissed.  We have great conversations, and I love spending time with her, so I’ve been trying to take it slow, but it’s killing me.  I’ve never jacked off so much in my life.”

“Well, if you like her enough to have waited this long, you’re not just going to walk away because she won’t give it up.  She’s obviously special.  You’ve got to maintain control, Clem.  If someone means that much to you, you can’t just let one rash decision mess it up.” Jack looked away, evidently not wanting to disclose anymore about whatever personal experience he had with a hasty act in his past.   

“You’re right, Jack.  I can maintain control.  She’s definitely worth it.  Thanks buddy.  I owe you one.” Clem slapped Jack on the back and hit the showers, a newfound strength in his resolve to take it slow where Katelyn was concerned. 

*    *     *    *

Clem’s resolve lasted up until the moment he got to her apartment.  Katelyn met him at the door, wearing a long black strapless dress, held up only by a bow at her back, that skimmed the tops of her bare feet with toes perfectly polished in a bright red.  Her curly hair was piled up on top of her head, allowing him full access to her beautiful neck. 

“Hey beautiful,” he said to her when he was finally able to get blood back to his brain that would allow speech. 

“Hey,” she said back to him quietly, as he came in and she shut the door.  She leaned back against it momentarily and took in the sight of him, casually dressed in shorts and a t-shirt with a pair of flip-flops, which he toed off at the end of her couch.  She never realized how arousing the simple sight of his bare feet would be.  Clem reached for her and she stepped forward, taking his hand as he led her to the couch.  Before they could sit down, she stopped him.  He turned to look at her, and she placed her other hand on his hand and pulled him towards her, meeting with a slow, tender kiss.  Though she initiated it, he quickly took control and began kissing her with a ferocity that left them both breathless.  As their kiss ended, she took a step backwards and tried to pull him along with her, but he wouldn’t budge. 

“Why are you pulling on me?” he asked, slowly becoming aware of her intention.

“Just come with me,” she pleaded, an embarrassed blush becoming evident on her face.

“Wait, Katelyn –, “ he started, but she interrupted him.

“No, don’t tell me to wait, Clem.  I’ve waited long enough.  You’ve waited long enough.  I’m ready.  I’m ready for this,” she said, though repeating it almost made it sound like she was trying to convince herself. 

“Katelyn, baby, I admit that I am more than looking forward to taking the next step, but dragging me into your bedroom without a word and giving yourself a little pep talk doesn’t leave me with the feeling that this is something you’re entirely ready for.  I don’t want you doing this just because you think it’s what I expect you to do.  I want us both to want this.”

As she stepped towards him, her hand coming to rest on his chest, she looked deep into his eyes and spoke with a calm and steady voice.  “Clem, I am ready.  And I do want this.  Make love to me.  Please, Clem, make love to me.”

He closed his eyes and turned his head, pursing his lips together with a sharp intake of breath.  As he counted to ten in his head, he reminded himself that he had to be gentle.  He’d never been with a virgin before, and he knew that this wasn’t going to be a pain free experience for her.  He reached for her hand on his chest, and placed his other hand on her neck, drawing her face closer to his for a chaste kiss. He pulled back and looked in her eyes once more to search for some sign of apprehension, but he only saw trust there.  She dropped his hand and walked towards her bedroom.  She turned at the doorway, looking at him with desire in her eyes, and then retreated further into her room.  He felt frozen in his spot for a moment, but then, reality kicked in and he had to stop himself from sprinting to her.  He stepped in the doorway, and found her room lit by candlelight.  She stood next to her bed, and he went to her, tentatively reaching for her, running his fingers up her arm as his other hand came to rest at her waist.  He lightly cupped her face and kissed her, as her hands went to his waistband to begin untucking his shirt.  He whipped his shirt off and she ran her fingers through his chest hair and down his flat stomach to his belt, which she quickly unbuckled and then moved to the button and zipper on his shorts.  He grabbed her hands to still her motions, and when she looked at him, he smiled and said, “Why am I the only one removing any clothes right now?”

She sheepishly grinned at him, and said with a blush, “I don’t have anything on under this dress.  I only have one thing to remove.  I was just trying to even the playing field a little here.”

“Oh, thank you, Jesus.  In that case, carry on, please,” he said, a strained look on his face, his hands balled into fists at his side. 

The movement of her hands unbuttoning and unzipping his shorts caused her to brush his already rock-hard erection multiple times, causing it to grow impossibly harder, tenting his boxers.  As he stepped out of his shorts, he looked at her with heat in his eyes and said with a growl, “Now we’re even.  Your turn.”

He reached behind her to untie the bow at her back holding her dress in place.  As he pulled the ties out to the side, the top of her dress fell, revealing the pale skin of her beautiful breasts with dusty pink nipples, already growing into hard peaks.  He reached out and filled his hand with her breast, rubbing his thumb over the stiff tip, eliciting a moan from her. 

She reached over and slipped her fingers in the waistband of his boxers, pulling them out and over as his hard-on sprang free, slapping his lower abdomen.  She inhaled briskly and looked up with wide eyes, only to find his eyes already on her, his mouth forming a smirk. 

He’d be lying if he said the look on her face when she saw his hard length for the first time wasn’t a serious ego boost, but then he reminded himself that she had never seen one at this state of arousal before.  He moved his hands to her waist and pulled her dress until it fell to the ground.   Grabbing her hand, he sat back on the bed, pulling her down with him. 

She stretched out on top of him, enjoying the feel of his hands caressing her backside as she playfully kissed him. She hadn’t moved her hands from their position on his chest, and he knew she wasn’t going to make the first move.  He rolled until he was on top, and she looked up at him with surprise and a little trepidation.  Placing soft kisses along her jaw line, he moved lower and sucked her nipple into his mouth.  Her gasp and the way she practically bowed off the bed by just that simple touch left him shaking with need, but he continued to maintain control, moving his hands lower until they breached the curls at the apex of her thighs. 

Her fingers ran through his hair as his mouth moved from one breast to the other.  Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly handle anything else, his fingers moved into her damp folds and he inserted his index finger inside of her while his thumb rubbed steadily on the most right spot, causing a rush of warmth to spread throughout her body.  After her first climax, Clem got up and reached onto her bedside table for the condom she had placed there, in which he quickly sheathed himself. 
Thank goodness he was paying attention.
  She felt incapable of forming words into coherent sentences at the moment. 

Taking comfort in the fact that she had planned ahead and that this didn’t seem to be a completely spur-of-the-moment move on her part, he used his knees to nudge her legs apart and then braced himself on his elbows over her.  As the head of his penis came into contact with her warm center, she immediately tensed up. 

“Relax, baby,” he said.  “I will be as gentle as possible.”

“I know, Clem.  I want this.  And I want this to be with you.  Please, make love to me,” she whispered.

Slowly he maneuvered into her tight wet channel, inch by inch.  He waited a brief moment, and then eased inside of her all the way.  She gasped and he stilled his movements.

“Are you okay?  Sweetheart?”

“Y-yes.  Just—just wait a second.  I didn’t realize it would hur—it would be like this.”

They lay there quietly, Clem still buried deep inside of her.  He looked at her, with her eyes closed, a slight tremble to her lips, and felt an ache in his chest like he’d never experienced before.  He knew at that instant, without a doubt, that he was falling in love with Katelyn.  He didn’t want to say it, for fear that she would think that he was simply saying it because of the position they were in.  But he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it from her.  To hell with preconceived notions and assumptions. 

“Kate.  Katelyn, I – I want you to know.  I am falling in love with you.  I think I began falling in love with you when you ran across the grass to get to me when I hit that damn branch.  No, no…I can’t curse that branch.  Because of that branch, you came into my life.”

Katelyn opened her eyes, and looked into Clem’s.  In them, she saw honesty and utter devotion.  A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Clem brushed it away with a kiss.

“Being with you, not just tonight, but over the past few weeks, has opened my eyes up to an entire world of feelings that I’ve been missing,” she said, as she rubbed her fingers down the side of his face.  She wanted to tell him she loved him too, but something was holding her back.   She’d never said those words to anyone before.  She had no way of knowing for sure that this was what love was supposed to be like. “Clem, I—I am so happy we found each other.”