Once Mated Twice Shy (4 page)

“Lettie.”  Jordan
said in his most commanding voice and she responded but not how he expected. 
It turned her on more.  Her leg wrapped around his hip and she was… oh shit! 
“Lettie.”  He said again.  Too late.  She put his cock inside of her.  She was
moving against him.  No man had the will power to resist that.  Jordan rolled
her onto her back.  She liked it this way.  He preferred to take her from
behind so he could cup those magnificent breasts with his hands but she liked
this.  So he would give her this.  She always wanted to look into his eyes. 
She wasn’t looking now but maybe she would open them.  When she did, there may
be hell to pay but right now, this was heaven.  Besides, she started it. 
Jordan rolled his hips and she moaned loudly moving with him.  Both of her legs
wrapped around him and he buried his face in her neck.  God she smelled like
heaven.  Jordan covered her skin with warm kisses.  His tongue traced the
mating muscle.  He wanted to claim her again so badly but without her consent,
it was just another bite mark on her beautiful skin.  Jordan moved carefully in
and out of her.  He wanted to give her pleasure, he wanted to give her the
pleasure that he felt he owed her.  She was right.  The only thing that he’d
done was make her unhappy the last few years.  This was never a problem for them. 
The physical act of love making, it was meeting up at the same point in time
with both of them feeling the same way and wanting the same things.  It was
easy early on, but later it rarely happened.  Either he was mad at her or vice
versa.  What had happened to them?  What happened to all that love?  They were
so in love when they were young.  Lettie was moaning and writhing.  His body
was reacting of its own accord.  She cried out his name and it was a panacea
for all the hard feelings between them, for the moment anyway.  Jordan’s body
tensed then released inside of her.  She stilled. 

“You’re awake
aren’t you?”  He pulled out of her and got the wash cloth that he’d used to mop
her brow with.  He cleaned her gently then wiped himself.  She still had not
spoken, until…

“I want to go
home.”  Jordan nodded.  “Now Jordan.”

“You can’t.  Doc
says you stay until the fever breaks.”

“Or until I end up
carrying your pup.  How many times has this happened?”

“That was the
first and last.  I swear, but in my defense, it was your idea.  You kissed me,
you licked me, and you put me inside of you.  How can I turn that down?  I
haven’t had sex in forever, and well, it wasn’t an offer that I could refuse.”

“Bullshit.  You
were with Aimee just the other day.  I saw you.” 

“I’ve never
been
with Aimee, or anyone else for that matter.”

“Another lie. 
I’ve smelled females on you.  The night you left, I scented…”

“No Lettie, I
wasn’t with anyone, I carried a she wolf that was strung out on drugs home from
the bar but I didn’t sleep with her.”

“I scented booze
and a female Jordan.  I know what I smelled.”

“Someone spilled a
drink on me at the bar that night.  What reason do I have to lie now?  We
aren’t mates anymore so it won’t get me anything.  You’re it for me.  I wish
you’d see that.”  His voice was so soft she barely heard him.  He was being
honest, she felt it.  But why didn’t he say all of that before?

“Why not tell me
that when it happened?”  Her eyes were fiery.

“You didn’t trust
me.  You weren’t going to believe a word that I said.  We were so far away from
each other then.”  The corner of his mouth dimpled.  “I think your fever is
breaking.  Your body temperature is beginning to feel normal again.  If you’d
prefer to go to the infirmary, the doc will take care of you there.”  She
wasn’t sure what she should do.  She hated the infirmary with its antiseptic
smells.

“Did they catch
the guys that did this to me?”  Her chin quivered.

“Yeah.  They won’t
bother you again.”  His eyes flashed.

“What happened?” 
She sat up wrapping her arms around her knees.  “What happened to them?  I
don’t remember much.”  Jordan sat up and faced her.  Had he lied?  Did she kiss
him?  Did she lick him?  Did she?  It was a dream.  Wasn’t it?  No, it was
real.  He wasn’t lying.  Her wolf wanted him.  Who was she kidding?  She wanted
him.  She’d always wanted him.  It didn’t matter.  They were over.  It was a momentary
lapse in judgment. 

“Mister Thompson
called me as soon as you hung up.  I rallied the betas and we got there within
minutes but the damage was done.  The rogues had already…”  Tears oozed down
her cheeks.  “Are you sure that you want to hear this?”  She nodded.  “Okay. 
We rounded them up and did to them what they did to you.”  Her brows knitted. 
His breath huffed out in a rush.  “I used a broomstick to rape each one of
them, and then I ripped their throats out.”  Lettie cringed and swallowed
hard.  “I couldn’t let them go after what they’d done to you.  I didn’t know if
you were going to live through it or not.  You’d been brutally raped and
beaten.  They’d bitten every inch of you.  I still don’t understand the
reasoning for that.”  Lettie moved to get into his lap.  Jordan held her while
she cried. 

“I tried to bite
one of them when they were…that’s why they bit me, it was payback.”  She
sniffled loudly.  “I’m sorry.”  She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. 
“I should go.  My being here must be torture for you.  I’m sure you have better
things to do besides take care of me.”

“No, not really.” 
He smiled down at her.  “I’m going to fix us something to eat.  Do you think
you can get some more soup down?”  She nodded and moved out of his lap.  “I’ll
be back in a few minutes.  Don’t try to get up.” 

“Okay.  Can I have
something to put on?”  He got a tee shirt out of a drawer and tossed it to her
then left the room.

Lettie tried her
legs and they held.  She was getting better then, right?  She went to the
mirror and lifted her shirt.  Wow.  He must’ve been hard up to want to have sex
with her.  She was a mess, running her fingers through what looked like a troll
doll’s hair, she braided it quickly. 

“I thought you
promised not to get up.”  He said bringing a tray in and setting it down.  She
grinned.

“I needed to look
at the marks.  I just needed to see.”  Lettie climbed up into the bed and sat
against the headboard.  “I feel better, when can I go home?”  He sighed and put
the tray in her lap.

“I’d like you to
stay, permanently.”  Her head shook.  “Lettie I know that we had problems but I
think that we can work through them.  I love you.  I’ve always loved you.  I
want to be with you again.”  He sat on the edge of the bed.  “I even have a job
here for you, the pack needs a bookkeeper, and there’s nobody better at that
than you are.”  Lettie dipped her spoon into the tomato soup and sipped it.

“So you want me to
come back for the pack.”  She watched him intently over her soup looking for
the lies.  In the last few years of their marriage, Lettie found one general
rule good to remember.  If his mouth was moving then he was probably lying.

“No, I want you to
come back for us, for me.  Whether you do or not, I want you to do the books
regardless.  Once you get going with them, I don’t think it will take very long
each week to do them.  You know I suck at that stuff.  I wanted to thank you
for keeping the bank account like you did.  I needed the money to pay pack
bills, they were all over due, and well, there isn’t much left.”  She sipped
and listened.   “That’s what I meant when I said that you weren’t a productive
member of the pack.  What I wanted to say was that we needed your skills as a
bookkeeper.”  He took a drink of water from the bottle on her tray.  “When you
do go home, take the SUV, it has air.  I don’t need it anymore because I’m not
driving all the way to Lennox.”  Her eyes snapped up to his.  “When I said that
you should give the old truck to me, you didn’t wait for me to explain, you
just ran off.”  He could see she was starting to get angry and backed it up a
notch.  He dropped his head.  “I know most of what happened between us was my
fault.  But I swear Lettie that I’d do anything to put it all right again.” 
She set the spoon down on the tray.  Her soup bowl was empty.  He took the tray
and put it aside.

“Anything?”  She
asked softly.  He nodded.  “Give up your alpha position, go back to work in
Lennox and move back to the bungalow.”  He stared at her for the longest time. 
Jordan got up and carried the tray from the room.  “Yeah that’s what I
thought.”  She whispered.  “It’s still more important than I am.”

“It’s not.”  He
said coming back into the room.  “It’s not more important than you are.”  He
was angry.

“It is Jordan.” 
His head shook.

“Done.  I will
announce it tomorrow at the pack meeting that they need to find a new alpha,
that my mate wants me all to herself.”  He grinned and climbed onto the bed and
sat across from her.  “If that’s what you want.”

“If I was going to
stay, I would want to be more important to you than anything else, like I used
to be.  I’m not saying that I will just that if I were.  I still need to think
about that.”

“You always were Lettie. 
I wanted to be the alpha so that
we
could have the biggest house, so
that
we
would be the most important pack members, so that I could stay
home with you instead of driving for hours after spending all day away from
you.”  Her brows knitted.  “You didn’t think of all of that huh?”  She shook
her head.  That was the original idea but I think I forgot the reasoning behind
the idea somewhere along the way.  I’m remembering though.”  The corner of his
mouth lifted.

“I thought that
you just wanted to be in charge.”  He smirked.  She had the most beautiful
smart mouth.

“Well, that too.” 
They both laughed. 

“Jordan.  I don’t
know if I can…”  God those eyes, he could look into them forever.

“You still love me
Lettie.  You proved it earlier, even if you don’t want to admit it, you still
want me.”  She licked her lips and he watched closely.

“I always wanted
you Jordan.  I…just…I...I wanted you to be less selfish with me.”  He was
nodding.  “I need…”

“I know what you
need darlin’.”  He hadn’t called her that since they were teenagers.  He knew
she couldn’t fight that.  He knew what it did to her because she’d told him
back when they were so crazy for each other neither of them could see past the
other.  Her core clenched at the memory.  Jordan was crawling toward her. 
“I’ll give it all up if it will make you happy.  All I ever wanted was to make
you happy.”  Her heart was banging around in her chest making it hard to
breathe.  His eyes flashed.  “I want you Lettie and I want to leave my mark on
you, this time I want it to be permanent.”  He was getting too close, crowding
her.

“Whoa.”  Lettie
put her hand up to stop him.  “I didn’t agree to that.”  It was getting hard to
control her breathing and soon it would be impossible to tell him ‘no.’

“I said I would give
up alpha, what else do you want?  Just say and it’s yours.”  He was so big, so beautiful,
and so aroused.  Wow.

“Um.”  He took her
hand, the one stopping him and kissed it.  “I want you to slow down.  We aren’t
finished negotiating.”  Lettie pulled her knees up to her chest.

“I am.  Whatever
you want, it’s yours.  You have my heart.  It’s all you need to get whatever
you want.”  His eyes were amber.

“Kiss me.”  He
kissed her hand again.  “Here.”  She pointed to her lips.  His mouth pressed
warmly to hers.  “And here.”  She pointed to her nose.  “Here.”  Her neck.  She
felt teeth and shifted away.  “Just kiss.”  She pointed to her belly button
when she pulled her shirt up.  He dipped his tongue into it and she trembled. 
Jordan’s kisses trailed lower and he spread her legs.  His kisses grew more intimate
the closer he went to her core.  “Shit.”  She hissed and he chuckled.  Jordan’s
tongue caressed her clitoris and her toes curled.  Her legs shook.  He spread
them further while bending them up, nearly folding her in half.  “Oh.”  His
tongue dipped into the well of her vagina then licked up to her clitoris
again.  His mouth closed over the small nub, he sucked it then, and Lettie
nearly screamed with the orgasm that crashed through her. 

“You always did
love that.”  Jordan murmured.  “What you didn’t know was that I love it too.  I
love the sounds that you make, the way your body responds and bucks.  I love
the way orgasms sneak up on you and make you scream.  You’ve always responded
so well to me, to the things I do to you Lettie.”  His tongue dipped inside of
her again and she trembled.  “I’m going to keep doing this to you until you
can’t take another lick, suck, or nibble.”  He murmured against the sensitive
skin.  She moaned and tried to move away because what he was doing felt too
damn good.  When had Jordan learned to be so attentive?  Sure, they’d always
been good together, good at getting the other off, but he was always more into it
for self satisfaction really.  Not that he minded pleasing her but it was with
the understanding that she would please him as well.  The Jordan between her
legs didn’t seem concerned with his own pleasure, but the day wasn’t over yet
either.

“No biting.”  She
narrowed her eyes.

“There will be absolutely
no biting sweetheart.”  His deep voice sent a tremor through her.  Jordan
sucked her labia into his mouth.  Lettie’s back bowed of its own accord and she
felt more than heard his chuckle.  “Is sucking okay?”  Her ‘uh-huh’ was high
and breathy, he chuckled again.  Jordan’s tongue was inside of her stroking
nerves and lighting her up from the inside.  Her fingers knotted in the sheets
beneath her.  Lettie watched him down the length of her body, watched his mouth
move over her most intimate parts.  God he was still so sexy after all of this
time, still the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.  His hair wasn’t as long as
it once was but it was still thick and dark.  He had a few grays at the temple
but they were barely noticeable unless you looked hard.  He was kissing his way
up her middle, mouthing, sucking, and licking her skin.  “Still with me?”  His
voice rumbled over her nerves.  His lips were against her ear now.  She
nodded.  “It seemed like your mind was wandering.  I want you to remember every
moment of this.  I want you to
feel
every moment of this.  Her heart was
pounding again.  He knew every trick there was to making her climax and he
played her like an instrument.  He knew when he did that murmur against her ear
thing that it was guarantee for getting her there quickly.  He used to do that
while she was trying to cook or clean.  They’d end up having sex where ever
they were.  It didn’t matter that she was scrubbing tiles in the shower.  He’d
take her in the middle of the bathroom floor.  Then one day it stopped.  Tears
pooled in her eyes.  It stopped and he would pick at her instead.  “Hey, what’s
wrong?”  Jordan was watching her face now and she turned her head.  “Don’t hide
from me Lettie.”  He turned her face back to him with gentle fingers.  This was
never going to work.  Who was she kidding?  There was too much resentment.  There
were still too many bad memories and bad feelings between them.  “What did I do
wrong?  Did I hurt you?”