Authors: Virginia Jewel
“That’s what I’ve been waiting for!” the photographer said excitedly as the camera clicked madly.
“Wow, Mel, that dress is amazing! It’s going to look great on camera!” Sam smiled as he walked towards us. “We need to get some family shots before the ceremony. Are you ready?”
I looked at Marley and she nodded quickly in reply.
I took a deep breath, “I’m ready, as long as you can promise me a few minutes of alone time before the ceremony.”
Sam gave me an odd look, but agreed. He led us out into the store where my dad was waiting for us. My dad greeted me with a tearful smile and sweet kiss on the cheek.
“You look so beautiful, Melody.”
“Thanks Dad.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me against him, “Are you ready for all of this nonsense?” he whispered into my ear and tickled my side.
I giggled and relaxed just a little bit. My dad kept me smiling as the photographer placed us in various poses.
“Okay, let’s send the blushing bride back to the dressing room and get some pictures with the groom. Marley, will you wait with her?” Sam, who had been standing with the photographer, came over and offered me his hand. Marley picked up the back of my dress and carried it as we walked back to the dressing room.
I stood awkwardly in the dressing area as Marley sat in a chair.
“I’m sorry that you can’t sit down, you must be tired.” Marley gave me an apologetic look.
“Yes, well, sitting down will wrinkle the dress and since everyone will be staring at my ass, I don’t want to mess up the back of the dress.” I said angrily.
Marley sensed my frustration, “I’ll go check to see if they are done with pictures yet.”
She left me alone as she checked.
The knots in my stomach were tightening the closer we got to the wedding ceremony. Something was nagging at me, but I just didn’t know what it was.
What I did know was that I needed to talk to Josh.
“Mel?” I heard Josh’s voice whispering softly.
I turned around but didn’t see him.
“Josh?” I called to him.
“Yeah, it’s me. Marley said you wanted to see me.”
“Wait!” I shouted at him. I gathered up the bottom of my dress and squeezed myself back into the small dressing room. I had to press myself up against the back wall in order to get all of me, and the dress, in the room. Once I was in, I twisted around and locked the door behind me. The bottom of my dress twisted around me and I pulled on it to make it right.
“Can I come in now?” Josh said with a giggle. “I can hear the ruffle of fabric, so I know what you’re doing!”
“Yes, you can come in now.” I puffed and blew a hair out of my face. My hands were still full of dress, so I dropped it and smoothed it out as best as I could. With my heels on, I was just tall enough that my whole head was above the door of the dressing room.
Josh stepped timidly around the corner and searched around for me. When he spotted me, he smiled and stepped into view.
A smile spread across my face. Josh always looked handsome in a suit, but in a tux, he was irresistible.
“Do you like?” he pulled on the coat and twirled around dramatically.
“You look gorgeous, Josh.”
“I would have to agree with you on that! You are one lucky girl, Trip.” He winked at me. “I can’t see all of you, but I like what I can see.”
“Thanks,” I smiled sheepishly. “The dress is a little over the top, but it was free and the salesgirl said it looked good on me.”
“I’m sure I will agree with her.”
I cleared my throat and shifted nervously. “I need to ask you something.”
He smiled, “Go ahead, and ask me anything!”
“Are you in love with me?” I asked bravely.
“You know I love you, Trip. You’re my best friend,” he answered jokingly.
“That’s not what I asked, Josh. I asked if you were in love with me. Are you?” I looked directly at him when I asked this time.
His face went red and his gaze dropped to the floor, “Is this because of that kiss last night? I’m really sorry about that, I guess I just got caught up in the moment or something,” he stumbled over the words.
“It’s not because of that kiss, or at least not just the kiss. It’s because of all the things that people have said to me in the last two weeks. Please Josh! I need to know, are you in love with me?”
He sat down in the chair that Marley had been using. He stared at the floor and twisted his hands in his lap. He didn’t look up at me, but said quietly, “Yes.”
I sighed, “For how long?”
“I don’t know Mel, what does it matter?”
“For how long, Josh?” I demanded quietly.
He turned his head away from me, “Since you hit the floor your first day at Nelson.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I wanted to. I tried to. I just couldn’t seem to get it out right.”
“What about all those other girls?” I stood on my toes to look at him.
“Don’t say ‘all those other girls’ like I’m some kind of man whore! I’ve been with five women, Mel. Five! For a guy my age, who looks like me, that’s not a big number!” He defended himself with excitement.
“Okay, fine, what about the five other girls? If you were so in love with me, why were you with them?”
“Distractions,” he sighed. “Haven’t you ever noticed that I’m always single when you are? I don’t let things get too serious with the girls in case you become available.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I was thinking about doing it when we were in Hawaii. Paradise seemed like a good place to break the news to you.” He looked up and gave me a smile.
“After you’d already trapped me in a sham marriage?” I asked with a hint of a smile.
“Pretty much so, yeah,” he said with a grin.
“What were you going to say?”
He stood up and walked over to the dressing room I was in, “I was going to tell you that you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. I was going to say that I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you, and that nothing would make me happier than for you to let me try and make you happy forever.”
“That’s not fair. No one could say no to that, especially not in Hawaii.”
He sighed, “I know. I was counting on that.”
I pressed my head against my side of the door, “I’m so sorry, Josh. I should have known.”
I saw his feet as they appeared under the door. I felt him lean against his side of the door, “I thought you knew, or at least knew that I liked you.”
“It seems obvious now that I look back on it, but I guess I just thought that if everyone was right and you really did have feelings for me then you would tell me.” I sighed loudly, “I think I needed to hear you say it.”
“I’m in love with you Mel. I love everything about you, even the annoying things that drive me crazy. I love the way you walk around the apartment in your pajamas all day on Sunday. I love that when you are sick, you turn the whole living room into your bedroom and demand to be taken care of. I love the whole you, the good, the bad, and the adorable.”
A small tear ran down my cheek. “I don’t think I love you like that, Josh.”
I could hear him breathing from the other side of the door, but he didn’t say anything.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“Do you think you can try?” he whispered softly against the door.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to fight back the tears. In my mind, I replayed the dream from that morning. I remembered the way it felt to have Josh’s lips pressed against mine, like they had been in my parents’ car last night. I thought about all the ways Josh was perfect for me and was probably the only person who knew all my faults and still loved me.
“Yes,” I sighed, “but I don’t know if marrying you is fair.”
“I’m a big boy, Mel. I can take care of myself, but it’s your decision.” Josh reached his hand over the door and held it out for me.
I reached up and grabbed it.
“Um, you guys,” Marley’s voice interrupted our moment, “Sam says that all the guests have arrived and it’s time to get started.”
“It’s your decision, Mel. I’ll be up there waiting for you.” He whispered against the door, gave my hand one last squeeze then pulled it away.
20.
Josh left, and Marley went to get my dad. I squeezed myself, and the dress, out of the dressing room and tried to smooth the dress out. I turned to fix the back of the dress and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was wearing so much makeup that the tracks of my tears had drawn lines down my face. I grabbed a tissue and tried my best to fix it before anyone could see my face.
My dad came around the corner and stopped when he saw what I was doing. “Don’t cry, Melly.” He rushed to my side and wrapped his arm around me.
“I need makeup at the dressing room, stat!” Marley said into the headset she was wearing.
My dad took the tissue from me and wiped a few of the new tears away. ‘What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and held back the tears.
“It’s going to be fine, baby. Trust me. The ceremony goes so quickly that you don’t even have time to be nervous about it.” My dad smiled brightly at me as he continued to wipe the tearstains off my face.
The makeup artist showed up and did a quick touch up while Marley tapped her foot frantically and checked her watch every few seconds.
“Don’t mess it up this time! We’re on live television. I can’t rush out in the middle of the ceremony and touch up your face if you start crying again.” The makeup artist warned me as she packed her things.
“It’s time. Let’s go!” Marley waved to us.
As we walked past her she handed me a bouquet of roses and lilies. I gripped it tightly with one hand and hooked the other one around my dad’s arm.
When we stepped out of the dressing room area we were face to face with a television camera. We walked slowly past the women’s clothing section towards the main aisle. The string quartet changed from Pachelbel’s Canon to the bridal march just as we turned the corner. The television camera stayed in front of us and other cameras clicked madly as we walked.
My eyes wandered around and I caught a few familiar faces; Jody and Carrie smiled and waved as I walked past. Mike gave me a thumbs-up sign and a wink. I saw a few relatives and even recognized a few faces on Josh’s side of the aisle.
Straight ahead of us, I saw Josh standing next to the preacher, looking just as handsome as he had a few minutes ago. He was smiling, but I could see the worry in his eyes.
I looked away from him.
When I’d left the dressing room I didn’t know what I was going to do. But when I saw Josh standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me, I knew what had to be done. As we reached Josh, I took a deep breath.